Our thing
Hermes slammed his bedroom door shut, the sound reverberating through the silent room. He leaned against the wood, feeling the pressure of his still-racing heart. His confrontation with Ron had been explosive, and the anger he’d felt was tangled with a torrent of emotions he couldn’t quite comprehend.
He let himself fall back onto his bed, staring at the ceiling, searching for answers in the shifting shadows cast by the moonlight filtering through the window. What had he done? The image of Ron, her eyes filled with fury and defiance, kept replaying in his mind. Every word she’d hurled at him seemed to echo even louder, tearing at him a little more with each repetition.
“I’m not the keeper of all truths,” he muttered to himself, remembering the moment he’d tried to belittle her recent changes. It was so easy for him to criticise, yet the truth was his own insecurities were laid bare. The idea of Ron changing, of her leaving behind the person he once knew, left a bitter taste in his mouth. Why did it matter so much to him? He found himself wondering.
He ran a hand through his hair, feeling the tension tightening his neck. Despite his logic, something about the way Ron had looked at him had left him shaken. It was as if she could see right through him, stripping away every insecurity he’d tried to hide behind his confident facade. He couldn’t stop thinking about how she’d raised her voice, daring him to confront his own fears.
He rose from the bed and began pacing back and forth. “Is that what I really think?” he questioned himself, remembering Ron’s words, each one a direct blow to his ego. He felt trapped between the need to protect their friendship and the fear of losing it entirely. Deep down, he knew his feelings were more complicated than he was willing to admit, even to himself. Was it jealousy he felt?
He could still recall the spark of anger in her eyes, the way her voice had trembled with emotion. Ron had always been a force of nature; her energy was contagious, and now that she was becoming a stronger version of herself, he felt threatened. “I shouldn’t have lashed out at her like that,” he thought. His mind had sought ways to divert the conversation, to keep her in her place, but he’d ended up crossing a line he should never have touched.
He fell back onto his bed, the weight of his thoughts overwhelming him. What if he’d pushed her too far? The thought of Ron pulling away, of her finding someone else who appreciated her as she was, filled him with panic. He knew he needed to find a way to fix things, to find the right words to apologise and explain that, deep down, she was what mattered most to him.
As the moon shone brightly in the sky, Hermes closed his eyes, wishing he could turn back time and handle things differently. “I need to talk to her,” he promised himself. He couldn’t let that argument stand between them. The idea of losing Ron terrified him, and he knew he had to find the courage to face his own feelings and, perhaps, even admit what he truly felt for her.
The night stretched on, and Hermes lay awake, lost in his thoughts, searching for a way to make amends before it was too late.
As he wrestled with his emotions, a creak at the door pulled him from his reverie. He turned to see Harry.
“Harry, I'm really…” he began, but Harry cut him off.
“Don’t apologise to me. Do it to Ron,” Harry replied, a serious look in his eyes.
Hermes felt a knot forming in his stomach.
“Is Ron here?” he asked, feeling anxiety rising within him.
Harry stepped aside, revealing the open doorway.
“She’s willing to listen to you. Don’t mess it up. She’s in the common room.”
Hermes swallowed hard and hurried out, his heart pounding as he made his way to the Gryffindor common room. When he entered, the atmosphere was charged with energy, but his gaze was fixed on Ron, who was sitting on the sofa with her legs crossed, her expression daring.
“Hermes,” Ron said, raising an eyebrow. “Decided to show your face again, have you?”
Hermes felt the air grow thick.
“I’m not here to argue, Ron. I want to talk,” he said, trying to keep his voice steady, though it trembled slightly.
“Talk? After what you said?” Ron laughed, but it was a laugh laden with sarcasm. “You’ve got a real talent for spoiling a night.”
“I’m sorry, all right? I didn’t mean…” Hermes tried to take a step closer, but Ron stood, crossing her arms.
“Didn’t mean it, yet you still said it. Does that make you feel any better?” Her voice was intense, filled with pent-up anger.
Hermes frowned, feeling cornered.
“You don’t understand. I’m worried about you.” His words came out more like a challenge than an apology.
“Worried about me? Is that what you call it? Because it looks more like jealousy than concern, Hermes.” Ron was now standing in front of him, her gaze challenging. “Does it bother you that I’m enjoying my life?”
Hermes felt his frustration reach a breaking point.
“For Merlin’s sake! It’s not about that! It’s about how you’re acting, as if you’re on parade. You can’t just change and expect everyone to stay silent.”
“And what about you?” Ron took a step closer, her voice rising. “Do you want me to go back to being the same old Ron, the one who feels inadequate because she doesn’t fit your ideals? No, Hermes. I’m done with that.”
Hermes felt a blow to his chest, his own insecurities surfacing.
“That’s not it…” he tried to argue, but Ron cut him off.
“Then what is it? Because what I see is someone who can’t stand to see me happy, and that’s selfish!” Her voice was hoarse with anger.
Hermes felt trapped.
“You can’t say it matters more to me than it does to us—us!” His voice grew louder, filled with emotion. “And I’m not the only one who feels this way! Harry thinks so too; he just doesn’t want to tell you.”
Ron looked at him incredulously, her eyes blazing.
“Since when do you speak for Harry? Since when did this become about ‘us’? Because, honestly, Hermes, I don’t feel like you’re part of my life. You’re just a boy who doesn’t know how to handle his feelings.”
“And you? You’re losing yourself in this image of the perfect girl!” Hermes shot back, his frustration becoming more evident. “It’s not real, Ron. You’re just putting on an act.”
Ron took a step back, clearly hurt.
“You don’t know me,” she said, her voice softening though the intensity remained. “I’ve always been more than what you see. Perhaps the problem is you can’t look past your own insecurities.”
Hermes felt the air leave his lungs.
“Insecurities? Is that how you see me?” His voice was quieter, more vulnerable.
“I don’t know what else to say to you. I’m just trying to live my life without you telling me how to do it,” Ron looked at him firmly, her eyes shining with determination.
“What if I told you I can’t help feeling what I feel?” Hermes stepped closer, his voice almost a whisper.
Ron looked at him, her expression slowly shifting.
“And what do you feel, Hermes? Jealousy? Frustration?” Her tone softened, though the challenge remained.
Hermes took a breath, ready to be honest.
“Yes, jealousy. But also… I care about you, and it hurts to see you act like you don’t need anyone. Like you’re not a part of me.”
Ron paused, absorbing his words.
“And what do you want me to do? Go back to being that Ron you refuse to see?” Her eyes narrowed.
Hermes felt cornered again, but he held his gaze steady.
“No. I just want you to be you,” he said, his heart racing. “I want us to be together, without any pretences.”
Ron observed him, a glimmer of hope in her eyes.
“Then maybe you should stop telling me how to live and learn to accept me as I am.”
Hermes felt the weight on his chest begin to lift.
“You’re right. Maybe I need to learn.”
Ron looked at him steadily before stepping back, lifting her chin.
“So, what are we going to do about it?” Her tone was challenging, but there was a spark of amusement in her gaze.
Hermes smiled, feeling a new connection forming between them.
“What if we start by stopping the arguments?” he replied, a light laugh escaping him.
Ron smiled, her expression softening.
“Agreed. But I can’t promise there won’t be more fights because that’s just part of our friendship.”
Hermes laughed, feeling more at ease.
“Then it’s a deal. And maybe we can try being a bit more… us.”