The Brigade

“Alright James, this is the last building, please say it looks familiar.”

“I have a good feeling about this one!”

“Oh, for fucks’ sake.”

“No, no, hold on, here! This is where she lives!”

Remus had been walking behind a trio of loud and chatty men, distractedly catching bits of their conversation here and there. They seemed to be unfamiliar with this particular hall of dorms, clearly looking for someone, with one of them now pointing at Remus’ door as if he’d found X on a treasure map. As Remus was quite convinced a she did not suddenly move in, he decided to assist with the mix-up.

“Excuse me, can I help you?”, he asked them.

“No thanks”, one of the men said dismissively. It took Remus a second, only now properly registering their appearances, but he recognized them, if only by that one posh voice.

The finger pointing one was a tall and athletic guy, with round black glasses, that Remus knew from the rugby match Mary dragged him to, for her, and this is a quote, “weekend of husband shopping”. He had seen him - James, he learned now – a few times around campus, a couple of them around the owner of the posh voice.

The second bloke, on the short side, blonde and a bit pasty, Remus didn’t really recognize, but with a nice round face he seemed friendly, if a bit bored.

And there was the third, who Remus knew by name: Sirus posh twat Black.

His last name gave away quite a bit: offspring of one of the oldest aristocratic families in England, he had probably earned his spot at Hogwarts University right off the womb. Half the buildings on campus had some sort of little plaque thanking a “Posh Name Black”, and Remus was sure he’d see “Sirius Orion” plastered on a library of sorts, any day now. (And since we’re on the subject, what kind of fucking name is Sirius Orion??)

Sirius and Remus share a class (hence the knowing of his middle name - Remus glimpsed it, to make sure it would be as ridiculous as he imagined, and it was), and their few interactions hadn’t left him with the best of impressions. Sirius is, let’s just say, a bit full of himself. And much to Remus chagrin, he has reason to be. He is impossibly fit, that much is just objectively true: raven black curls, lean but muscular, impeccable style, and, in spite of what Remus suspects must’ve been years of inbreeding, his genetics still blessed him with the face of a bloody model. He is effortlessly smart, and by that he means he has a zero effort approach to classes, but still manages to be sort of good in them. And he has - some people would argue though definitely not Remus – a certain charm about him. Remus actually just thinks he’s a pretty rich boy with influence, whose privileged confidence comes across as charisma, or whatever the fuck everyone on campus thinks he has.

“Hey, excuse me…” Remus repeated after being ignored, following the group towards his own door.

“Don’t put your number, don’t put your number…” Sirius was complaining to his taller friend, who was determinedly scribbling on a piece of paper.

“I’m not putting my number, I’m putting your number.”

“That’s my room.” Remus insisted.

Sirius finally decided it was time to acknowledge him. He turned, eyes scanning Remus’ entire body for a full beat, subtlety be dammed.

“Alright, put my number”, he said with an appreciative smirk.

“Are you sure this is your room?” The boy with the glasses asked.

“Quite sure.”

“I could’ve sworn this was her room…”

“What’s her name, maybe I know her?”

“It was, uhm… short.”

“Well, I can understand your disappointment, losing a potential soulmate like that, but that is in fact my room.”

“I'm sorry about the misunderstanding.” Sirius excused. “My friend here means no harm. He’s just yet to learn that pints and blondes don't really mix.”

“Redhead, if I recall correctly, and there were tequila shots with the pints last night, so I might not.” The shorter, blonder, last member of the trio offered in correction.

“You are indeed correct, dear Pete!” James concurred. “And she was the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.” He mused, before turning his focus back to Remus. “I am confident I dropped her off at this exact door last night, and though I did partake in said tequila, I usually have a very good sense of direction, at all levels of inebriation.”

“I can weirdly imagine that.”

“Thank you.”

“But I’m afraid you’re mistaken.”

“Are you sure you don’t know her? She looked like a goddess, with red hair, and green eyes…”

“With a short name.”

“So you do know her!” He exclaimed excitedly.

“I don’t.”

Remus was enjoying toying with Sirius and his little brigade, but Sirius seemed to be catching on, and decided to put a stop to it.

“Okay, Prongs, enough - say thank you to the gentleman and leave him be.”

“Thank you.” James said promptly. “But are you really sure-”

“Okay, off you go.” Sirius interrupted, steering James away from Remus by the shoulders, who quickly left with his other friend – Pete - to examine every nearby door.

Sirius lingered still.

“Well, thank you for the clarification, and we sincerely apologize for delaying your morning… teas.”, Sirius said spotting the two cups Remus was carrying, perched on top of a rather large box of donuts. “Getting breakfast for your overnight company?” Sirius asked with a smirk. “What a gentleman.”

“No overnight company, just my breakfast.”

“Really? Uh.” He pondered. “That’s quite the box of donuts.”

“Yes.”

“And two teas?”

“What about them?”

“Alright, not one for chatting in the morning, I’ll make sure to remember.”

“I doubt it.” Remus muttered.

“You don't like me.” Sirius stated, not grieved, but curious. “You don't know me, but you don't like me.”

“I know you.”

“You do?” Sirius asked confused.

“Sadly, yes.” When Sirius puzzled face didn’t subside, Remus huffed his explanation. “We’re in the same class.”

“No, I don’t think that’s possible.”

“And why the hell not?”

“Oh, I don’t mean anything by it,” he clarified quickly. “Just that… I’m sure I would’ve noticed you.” He offered smoothly.

Remus only rolled his eyes, deepening Sirius’ smirk with it.

“Alright, which class?”

“Creative writing, with Professor Flitwick.”

“Oh, please, there are literally one hundred people in that class! Besides, I tend to, let’s say ‘loosely’, attend it! Am I to be judged for not knowing a colleague amongst hundreds?”

“We did a project together last week. You gave feedback on one of my short stories.”

“Oh.”

“Yes.”

“Which story?”

“I’m not-“

“Was it the one about a magic school?”

“No.”

“Was it the sexy fairies?”

“No!”

“Oh my God! You’re werewolf guy!” He determined smiling. “It’s all coming back now.”

“My condolences.” Remus complained. He had hated that assignment. “And it’s Remus.”

“Yes! Remus! I remember you! Nice to see you Remus, you're looking well. Angry works for you.”

“I'm not angry, just slightly irritated.”

“By me?”

“Yes.”

“Because I forgot who you were for a moment?”

“No, because you were slightly irritating in class, just like you are being now.”

“How was I irritating?”

“Well, for starters, you were late, as usual, making me late for the assignment, clearly only skimmed my essay, said it was, and I quote “a bit dull", gave me the sole feedback of “adding a sexy vampire or something” and called me “werewolf guy” for the next two hours. As for now, if you’d also like to know, you’re standing in front of my door, stopping me with whatever nonsense you and your friends are up to, judging my breakfast choices, while my tea gets cold.”

To Remus’ confusion, Sirius smiled, moving out of the way and making a point to gesture widely for Remus to approach his own front door. He started rummaging for his keys, with Sirius beside him, watching, seemingly amused with the whole thing.

“So - as a nickname, wolf boy really won’t do it for you, will it?”

Remus huffed and rolled his eyes to Sirius’ apparent delight.

“I understand, a bit on the nose, I promise to find a better one promptly.”

Remus’ keys are a no show, perhaps delighted themselves with this nightmarish conversation.

“Something to do with the moon, perhaps? It was heavily featured…”

“It was a werewolf story, shouldn’t come as a surprise the moon made an appearance, should it?” Remus countered. “And fantasy was the requested genre, it’s not like I wanted to write about the bloody moon!” Remus said exasperated, hating the fact he somehow ended up explaining himself.

Sirius ignored him.

“I think I might like the moon idea for a nickname.” Sirius started musing: “Moons. Moony. Moonbean.”

“Or just Remus, will do fine.” Remus muttered. “Or actually, nothing at all. I doubt we’ll be seeing much more of each other.”

“You wound me, Remus,” Sirius replied, dramatically placing a hand over his heart, though his smirk said he was anything but wounded. “Why not?”

“Well, you’d have to go to class, for one.” Remus teased, only half joking.

“Yes, that might be too much of an ask.” Sirius chuckled, joking back. “But we could see each other outside class you know? There’s this lovely thing called friends.”

“And you’re in the business of making friends with people who clearly don’t want to talk to you?”

Sirius’s grin widened. “Only the interesting ones.”

“That’s nice and all, but I’m not really looking to be recruited into your little brigade,” Remus replied, chancing a look at James and Peter.

Sirius raised an eyebrow. “A pity. I think you’d be a fine addition to our… brigade.”

“You don’t know me, though. I might be a real werewolf you know?” He couldn't resist joking.

“See? Interesting.” Sirius was practically beaming now. “What do you say? Shall we start over? Shall we be friends?”

At that exact moment Remus finally managed to get his keys out.

“Have a nice day Sirius.” He said for an answer. There was no world where he and Sirius Black would ever be friends.

“Fine. Go on. I stole too much of your tea time already. I promise to remember you instantly next time,” Sirius replied smoothly, flashing a grin that looked entirely too pleased.

Before Remus could finally enter, James and Peter were once again joining them, the first one clearly deflated.

“Redhead a no show then?” Remus asked him.

“Yeah, I think I might have to let fate do its thing. Thank you, though…” James added, realizing he hadn’t asked Remus’ name yet. “Sorry, I’m James Potter. I didn’t even ask your name earlier, how rude of me.”

“He’s name’s Remus.” Sirius responded quickly, with that terrible smirk in place. Was it perpetually stuck on his face, for fuck’s sake??

“That’s a fancy name!” James enthused. “Remus what? Not likely there’s gonna be another Remus, but still.”

Remus hesitated, chancing a side look at Sirius.

“Lupin”, he muttered, bracing himself.

“Oh, shut the fuck up!”

Sirius turned to him wide eyed and grinning, amusement clearly bubbling out of him. Remus had to bite his lips himself to keep from laughing.

“Remus Lupin, I like it!” James responded, oblivious. “Well, Remus Lupin, I am still convinced I left the red-haired goddess, future love of my life, on, at least this floor, so I will ask you to be my liaison, my envoy, my inside man - in case she makes an appearance, yes?”

“I’ll be sure to be on the lookout for a red-haired goddess, with green eyes and a short name.”

“Thank you!”

“I’ll probably leave the whole ‘future love of my life’ out of it, for a first conversation, as not to terrify her - but I promise to tell her all about your enthusiasm.”

“Good man! I like you, Remus Lupin!”

“Thank you, now can I please enter my room and enjoy my cold tea?”

“Go ahead!”

Remus does enter his room, closing the door behind him, only to behold Lily – his short named best friend and aforementioned red-haired goddess -, sprawled on his bed, not quite living up to her fame.

“Did you happen to meet a tall, athletic, glasses wearing, handsome enough to pull off dishevelled hair, man last night?”

“Ugh, don’t remind me of my mistakes, Remus.” Lily groaned without opening her eyes.

“He’s in love, I’m afraid.”

One eye popped open.

“He’s what now?”

“He was just at the door, and seemed quite smitten!”

Second eye popped and Lily was sitting up straight in no time.

“Worry not, I sent him off your track.”

“Oh, thank God.” She exhaled dropping back on the bed with a plop. “My head hurts. Why did you let me do tequila shots, Remus J. Lupin?? You know it gives me bad decision syndrome.”

“Oh yes, that well-known affliction.” He joked. “And I can’t be blamed since I was in fact not at the party last night, Lily J. Evans.”

“That’s right, you are a boring person, with boring hobbies, who abandons his friends to a boring night.”

“Doesn’t sound like you had a boring night at all.”

She sits back up in indignation.

“Well, yes, I made out with a stranger, when I specifically said I’d be off the practice after Severus, let’s all ha ha. It’s your fault for not coming along!”

“I brought you boring donuts”, Remus bargained in response.

“And boring tea?”

“English breakfast, am I forgiven?”

“Milk and honey?”

“A splash of each.”

“I suppose I can consider forgiveness.”

“Thank you, now scoot.”

Remus sat next to her in his bed, offering her the donuts and tea, and taking a sip of his own cup. Tepid, as expected.

“Go on, tell me all about James Potter,” he asked her, having found the bloke amusing, and Lily’s entanglement with him even more so. “And do explain what the hell did you do, to have the poor bloke wondering the halls - at 9 a.m. on a Saturday - looking for the love of his life.”

“First of all, I barely remember his name, and second of all, he’s looking for me next day?? What the hell is this person?” Lily questioned. “Did we snog? Yes. Was it good? Yes, as far as my hangover brain remembers! But then we were far too drunk for anything else, and he insisted on dropping me off or whatever, which: couldn’t we just have snogged a bit and gone about our lives, like every other couple of strangers that mess about at a uni party?? Well apparently, noooo. Mr. Gentleman was adamant he had to walk me home, and I couldn’t just let him know where I lived!”

“Some people, one might even say normal people, would find that behaviour, nice.”

“He was being too nice! Suspicious, serial killer, levels of nice. After I snogged him! That’s not normal, what’s that about? It was scary, but he was insistent, so I brought him here instead.”

“Leading a potential serial killer right to my door.”

“Correct. If we couldn’t take him, we’d die together!”

“I feel very loved.”

“You are! Imagine, our own true crime documentary!” She joked. “Do you reckon we’re pretty enough to get a Netflix one, or do you think we’d just get a podcast?”

“Lilian… you’re pretty enough for a miniseries.”

“Awww, right back at ya Rem!”

“Unfortunately, I don’t think it’s as exciting as all that, as he and his friends seem to be less of charismatic serial killers, and more, good old plain insufferable posh boys like half this fucking uni.”

“Ugh.”

“I know… You have such terrible taste in men!”

“And you were being so nice.”

“Did I lie?”

“He’s well fit!!” Lily exclaimed in justification.

“Yes, but at what cost?” he teased, smiling, being promptly stopped by a pillow to his face. It only made his grin widen.

“Shut up before I murder you.” Lily complained.

“Well, pretty lady murderer would get you an Oscar-bait movie.” He joked, making Lily bite her lips to hide her smile and keep her faux indignation. “Fine, he was well fit, you’re right. And seemed nice enough, if a bit overenthusiastic. I wasn’t kidding when I said he’s smitten.” Remus explained, laughing at Lily’s bugged eyes. “Terrible friends though.”

“Oh?”

“One terrible friend, if I have to be accurate. The other one seemed too hungover to contribute much to the conversation, so I couldn’t quite assess the terribleness yet.”

“Who was his terrible friend? Did you know him?”

“Sort of.”

“Who?”

“Sirius Black.”

“Ugh, God,” she groaned.

“Yep.” Remus confirmed smugly. “Told ya. Terrible, terrible taste.”