Now Pretty Baby, I'm Running Back Home To You
November 2nd 1981
Azkaban
Sirius Black had never given Azkaban much thought, if he was being honest. Call it privilege, call it willful ignorance, call it naivete, but Sirius Black just assumed that good people never went to prison. He also knew that plenty of bad people never went to prison, but he certainly never pictured himself in the threadbare striped prisoner uniform he was sliding his arms into, the smell of mildew immediately permeating his skin. Nor did he ever imagine that, in addition to his alchemy symbols and ancient runes he had covering his chest and arms, he would end up with a prison number tattooed on his neck, unwillingly marking him forever. Most importantly, Sirius Black never thought there would come a day that someone would believe him capable of killing James Potter. And yet, with a chill already seeping into his bones, Sirius Black was escorted into his cell on the third floor of Azkaban.
Sirius had been in pure panic when he received the Patronus from James, calling Sirius to his aid, but after the events that followed Sirius was certain he would be able to clear his name. His memories should have cleared him, right? He would have taken Veritaserum, anything needed to be there to protect Harry. Harry, who was so small in his arms when Sirius saw him last. When Sirius was sent directly to Azkaban, he was determined to find a way to clear his name after all.
One week after Sirius was sentenced and sent to Azkaban, he could hear the cell door open across from his and a voice that sounded recognizable. Sirius ran to his cell bars in time to see Barty Crouch Junior being shoved into the cell directly across from the one next to his own. Sirius felt Barty’s eyes on his own with a look of confusion. Barty must have not seen what had been said about Sirius in the Daily Prophet, otherwise he would be looking at him with disgust.
As the days turned to weeks, and the weeks turned to months, Sirius felt his sanity slipping and his paranoia growing. Someone had to have told the Death Eaters about Lily and James’ location. Someone was a traitor. Who was the traitor? Peter? Dead. Marlene? Dead. Dumbledore? Sirius adds the name to the list he began to carve into the dust and grime on the wall next to him. Mary? Missing, assumed dead. But we can’t guarantee that can we? Sirius spoke to himself, adding Mary to the list. Remus? Sirius hesitated. Could it have been Moony? He was missing so often. And he could have known, James may have trusted him. Sirius would have. Sirius moved to add his name, but couldn't. Instead he placed his thumb in the dust, twisting while placing pressure until there was a small clear circle in the grime. A little moon amongst his friends. Sirius let out a single sharp sob and turned his back to the wall, letting the sounds of pain and anguish around him lull him to sleep for yet another night.
Every few days Sirius would hear Barty shouting from a few cells down, screaming for Evan Rosier, and often for Sirius’ own brother. On those days sirius’ mind wasn't a safe place. His fear and paranoia would take over and to protect himself, Sirius clears his mind and transforms into Padfoot, padding over to the corner of the cell and curling up, allowing his animal mind to rest in a way his human mind couldn’t.
Barty Crouch Jr, on the other hand, had been to Azkaban before. Not as a prisoner, of course, but as a punishment all the same.
“No son of mine is going to be found fucking around with Death Eaters. You want to see what your future looks like as a Death Eater?” Bartemius Crouch Senior shoved his son deep into an empty cell, one that was covered in blood and vomit, as though someone was tortured in the room just moments before. Barty, a loud boy of only thirteen, stood frozen in fear, his voice unable to make a sound for the first time in his life. His father continued.
“Death Eaters will only ever belong in one place in this world, Barty! In these cells! You’re a smart boy! You shouldn’t be allowing yourself to live up to less than your grandest potential! You could be anything you want to be, and you choose to run around with blood supremacists and people who will never think of you as anything other than my son.” Bartemius slammed the door to the cell shut and slid a key in the rusted keyhole, locking his son in the cell. Barty jumped at the sound of the lock clicking into place and ran forward to the bars on the cell he was in, gripping them so hard that the flakes of rust on the bars stuck to his fingers like slivers.
“Please, please don’t leave me here. I don’t want to be here. I can’t be here, please. You’re supposed to be my father, how could you leave me here?” Barty felt the warmth of tears blurring his vision, but for once the boy didn’t care if his father saw him cry. All he cared about was getting back to his friends, to where Regulus and Evan were surely waiting for him to board the train back to Hogwarts.
“Someone will notice if I don’t show up to school today! Someone will find me, please just let me go!” Barty was sobbing at this point, his tears staining the front of his white button down. Bartemius sighed and unlocked the cell, not wanting to risk his image if his only son never showed up at school.
“Very well. I hope you’ve learned your lesson. Don’t make me repeat it when you come home for winter holiday. We should get back in time for you to go to your dormitory. You’ll likely miss the feast but maybe a night without dinner is what you need to really understand what it would be like in Azkaban.” Barty just nodded and walked down the hall to where the boat was waiting to take the two men back to the mainland.
Barty shook his head at the memory, but wondered to himself if the cell he would be in was the same one from when he was a boy. Barty knew the likelihood was slim, but wouldn’t that just be his luck? His father would have gotten the paper by now, and was probably telling his mother just how right he was about their only son, but in truth he had never been completely right about Barty either. But was that even true? Barty still was there while those two people were tortured. Just because he didn’t participate didnt make Barty feel any less guilty,
Barty had always had to fight to be seen as more than just a disappointment by his father, and he really had hoped that if he followed Regulus and joined the order, he would make his father proud for once. The moment he felt the stunning spell hit his chest from one of the Aurors sent to arrest Bellatrix and her husband, he knew they were no longer going to be able to just let their secrets lie. Barty tried to explain to anyone who would listen.
“Call Dumbledore! He could tell you!” Barty begged over and over. Eventually a passing guard had stopped him, slapping a metal stick over the bars.
“Albus Dumbledore doesn't have time for the likes of you. Albus Dumbledore is busy handling the downfall of He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named to worry about the ramblings of an insane Death Eater.”
Barty felt the air leave his chest. If the Dark Lord was gone, Regulus and Evan could help him, could save him.
“Please,” Barty begged. “Please just tell me if Evan Rosier and Regulus Black defeated him. Please just tell me if they succeeded. Please.” The guard laughed and wordlessly pulled a copy of the Daily Prophet from her jacket.
“Here, keep it, Death Eater. Maybe you’ll learn something.”
Barty scrambled to grab the paper and read the headline.
The Boy Who Lived: Vanquishing He Who Must Not be Named and the Men and Women Who Sacrificed Their Lives For the Cause.
Barty read every single page, front and back, and found no mention of Regulus or Evan. He did, however, find out that Peter Pettigrew died trying to stop the Dark Lord. That James Potter and Lily Evans were gone, and their son had vanquished the Dark Lord, somehow. What's worse is that the paper said that Sirius was responsible. That Sirius had been a death eater spy, that the information was classified. Barty scoffed. Sirius would never. He would've died before betraying his friends. Barty put the Prophet under the flat piece of fabric he has for a pillow and stared out the small brick sized window where he could see the light from the moon and went to sleep.
Late 1983
Azkaban
Each morning that Barty woke, he would beg for any information and, eventually, he would start to scream at those in the cells next to him. To his right, just out of view of Sirius’ cell, was augustus rookwood. Barty would curse him, and wish him dead, as Rookwood was one of the few Death Eaters that was a spy, the same way Barty was an order member and a spy. Two sides to the same coin, only one encouraged a genocidal leader, and the other fought to stop him. At one point Barty began stealing Rookwood’s meals, and, in an impulsive move, would throw his bread to Sirius’ cell, where occasionally he would see a hand dart out and grab it. Once, Barty could have sworn he saw a pitch black shadow reach forward and snatch it from the air with its pure white teeth, and on that day Barty truly understood what they meant when they said that he would lose his mind in Azkaban.
After a while Barty assumed he would be allowed a visitor, but due to the nature of the crime he was convicted of, he was denied. This was fine, he thought, as the only person who would even want to see him would be his father, to see him in a cage. His mother was ill on a good day, so he knew the trip would have likely killed her. Barty was utterly alone, falsely convicted in Azkaban. Not completely alone Barty thought, looking over at Sirius’ cell.
“Hey, Black?” Barty whisper-shouted, not trying to catch the attention of any of their neighboring cell mates if not necessary. After a moment of silence, Barty inhaled with the intention of shouting louder, but before he could speak Sirius appeared at the cell door. He locked eyes with Barty and inclined his head in acknowledgement.
“Crouch. Lovely to see you here. I'm not really up for company, but maybe in a few years, eh? Until then maybe just leave well enough alone and as you can see, I am well enough.” Sirius flicked his wrist with a flourish and bent over for a small bow before turning to walk back to his own corner of his cell. Barty grabbed the roll he had been saving for Sirius and tossed it at his head, hitting him square in his back. Sirius whipped around and walked back to the cell bars.
“Do you not understand what it means to leave someone alone? I thought you would have figured it out sometime in the last two years that we’ve been locked up in here together, but you seem to just not get it. I don't want to hear you scream about my dead brother and your dead friend. You don't hear me screaming do you? I’m wrongly imprisoned in Azkaban for murdering my best friend and his wife, and you think I don't have a reason to scream? But it doesn't do anything Crouch. All you’re doing is making my head hurt. So sorry if I don't empathize with your ‘suffering.’” Sirius spit his words out like venom, and Barty froze.
Did Sirius not know about Regulus? Evan and Barty just assumed that James had told him, as the two boys were not often around Regulus and James, as they were more often found spending their time alone, together. Barty leaned into the cell bars.
“Regulus is alive Sirius…. As is Evan. We had a plan, they were going on a mission, and I was to go on a task for the Dark… For Voldemort. Only problem was that I got framed by Lucius of all people, before I could get back to the meeting spot, and then Regulus and Evan faked their deaths. Then everything happened with the Potters and I’m sure Regulus and Evan are trying to figure out some convoluted plot to get us both out of here…” Barty saw the words register across Sirius’ face and had he not known better, for a second Sirius looked so much like Regulus it was uncanny. The disdain and absolute loathing was like a memory. Sirius was fuming.
“Fuck off Crouch with your psychotic bullshit. I've seen the Prophet, I know you have too. Don't act like you know anything. My brother was a rotten Death Eater just like you and he died a Death Eater, just like you will in here. Fuck you.” Sirius flipped Barty the V and then turned to likely walk back to the corner he inhabited when he didn't want to see Barty.
“So James never told you?” Barty whispered sadly and in disbelief. Sirius froze and the expression on his face immediately changed. He now looked heartbroken.
“James never told me what exactly?”
“James was our handler, Sirius. He was in charge of keeping the three of us informed on order tasks, and the order informed of our discoveries as spies. And James and Reg… Well I've never seen two people more in love than those two, except maybe Lils and James. We used to joke about how maybe Evan and I needed to try to get a part of all that, and the look on Reg’s face, priceless,” Barty said with a little chuckle, the first sign of a laugh since entering Azkaban. Sirius, on the other hand, looked paler than he previously did and that was a difficult thing to achieve having not been in the sun in over a year.
“What do you mean James and Reggie…. What?” Sirius looked ill. Barty normally wouldn't tell Regulus’ personal business, but after a year without someone to talk to, the words just flowed out.
“James and Regulus dated back in school, Black. Broke up, James got with Lily. Lily realized the boys still loved each other after we started showing up at her house every month for our debriefings and they sort of…. I don't know a technical term for it but basically Lily’s boyfriend was James. And James’ boyfriend was Regulus.”
Sirius just shook his head.
“Wait… What was the situation? How did this work?”
“So James was gay, but he was straight for Lily? But he was gay for Regulus and Regulus was gay for James? I think? I don't know I was usually busy shagging my boyfriend in the guest room to really pay attention to the interpersonal sexual relationships between one of my best friends and our actual handler and his wife.”
Sirius looked as though his head was going to explode.
“I genuinely can't listen to you talk anymore or I'm going to have a stroke.” Sirius says before closing his eyes and transforming into a mangy black dog. Barty scoffs, having already known about Sirius’ animagus form from Regulus, who surely found out from James. Regulus, never one to be outdone by the Marauders, insisted the three boys become animagi as well.
“Ooh so shocking, I'm so surprised,” Barty said with a sarcastic eye roll, holding his hands up in fake surprise. He looked down at the black dog sitting in the cell across from him and could almost see the smirk on Sirius’ face.
“Two can play that game, Black.” Barty closed his eyes and felt himself sinking down to the floor, his skin sprouting little hairs and his eyes clearing to an almost perfect vision. As Barty adjusted to the new thoughts running through his brain, he looked over to where the black dog was standing. His frame was almost perfectly outlined by the bars in front of him. Almost as though…. He could slip right through. And if the large dog could slip out, so could Barty.
It appeared both boys realized this at the same time and transformed back to speak.
“So, you wanna get out of here?” Sirius asked, smiling for the first time in ages. Barty grinned.
“Why Black, I thought you’d never ask.”