He just needed to focus, breathe, and think of something- anything, anything but her.
This lesson they were learning about Boggarts, the second he saw the closet he knew he had to get his head on straight or Walbagura was going to walk out.
Images of Sirius lying on the ground, covered in blood and writing in pain swarmed his mind. He looked to Barty and Evan, both their faces mirroring a smiling kind of terror.
‘I’ll go first!’ Barty announced with his typical charm. Regulus prayed his thinly veiled facade of cockiness wouldn’t fail him in the face of his father.
Barty stood tall with his lanky figure and wand at the ready, to everyone else he looked calm and ready. To Regulus and Evan, he looked petrified. His hands were shaking and his chest was puffed out as the closet door opened it was-
It was Evan?
Barty paled and stumbled backward as ‘Evan’ approached him, rolling up his sleeves to reveal ink on his inner wrist. The dark mark.
‘Are you proud of me B? I did it for you. for us-‘ Boggart Evan twisted into a ting circus clown with a red afro.
Barty slinked to the back without a word. There was mumbling and whispers between the class, every single one of them was met with a scathing glare from the three boys. The murmuring quickly stopped.
‘Rosier! You’re up!’ their teacher called.
Evan walked with a confidence and certainty to him that Barty and Regulus lacked. He truly didn’t care what others thought. He stood in front of the closet, wand at the ready.
Pandora emerged with her eyes entirely white. Screaming about a prophecy and clawing at her chest, she barely got three words out when Evan yelled ‘Riddikulus!’ the image of Pandora gutted and screaming herself raw, turned into a panda rolling playfully on the floor.
Evan turned around with ice in his eyes, daring anyone to laugh or say anything to him, or about his sister. The class laughed in an awkward attempt to dispel the tension as Evan joined Barty in the corner.
The rest of the students passed in a flurry of spiders, clowns, darkness, werewolves and snakes.
Maybe if Regulus stuck to the back, the teacher wouldn’t even make him face the Boggart, maybe he wouldn’t even notice him.
‘Black! Don’t think I don’t see you hiding, come on— show us what you got!’
What a stupid, naive man to think Regulus brave enough for this task.
He picked a common fear, drowning. He thought that would be easy to focus on, think of water.
He slammed his eyes shut tightly and imagined a flurry of water escaping the closet, and filling his lungs.
Sirius said when mother used crucio it felt as though you were drowning in your own blood.
He had made a many a mistake, this one his most recent.
Walbagura emerged, dragging Sirius across the floor, bloodied and beaten. after a long string of ‘blood/traitor..’ ‘faggot’ and any other vile thing she would spit at Sirius, she threw him at Regulus’s feet ‘Finish it.’ his mother spoke. This wasn’t just a fear, this was a memory.
Sirius- Not Sirius, not really- looked at him with such hope and pleading. Tear stains breaking the marks of blood scattered across his face, all he said was ‘Please.. Regulus.’
Ice ran through his veins with his lips daring to spill out Sirius name, his eyes teetering with tears. ‘Riddikulus.’ He muttered pointing a wand at Sirius. Blacks were strong, and noble. Regulus may want to bleed every ounce of Black blood out of him but he’d die before dishonouring his family.
Perhaps the class was too shocked to react and that’s why it was all so quiet, or perhaps Regulus had blocked it all out. He couldn’t bring himself to care right now.
Sirius collapsed onto the floor.
What? Did he say the wrong spell? He couldn’t have? He would never do that to Sirius, not his big brother. He wasn’t like her. He might pretend to be for his safety but no, Regulus would never hurt Sirius.
‘Siri..?’ it was barley a whisper as it spilled from his lips.
‘You finally did it. I didn’t even have to use Imperius on you this time,’ she has the audacity to laugh. ‘I’m proud Regulus.’ His mother’s rotten voice shattered any dignity or logic he had left inside of him. ‘You’re the heir now’
Regulus collapsed onto the floor clawing at the space where Sirius body once lay, now removed by the teacher. ‘Bring him back! What are you doing her needed help bring him back!’ Regulus begged with nothing but anger and demand in his voice.
‘Mr Black, it’s not real- your brother he’s okay.’
Okay? Okay?! What the fuck does this guy think he knows. Sirius died, he’s dead and Regulus killed him.
He wailed incoherent thoughts and words until he felt lanky, familiar arms wrap around his body. Barty, he thought distantly.
All he could think was how he still needed Sirius, and what was he going to tell James?
Oh, James.
He would never forgive him.
‘I’m so sorry Jamie-‘ he choked through sobs, he promised James he would protect Sirius while he worked on a plan to get them out.
A sound ripped through him that was nothing short of primal. His brother was gone, and now the boy he’s in love with will never forgive him. He was scratching and ripping at his own scars from his mother, mirroring Sirius’s. Offering his blood, his life in exchange for his brothers.
A pair of hands caught his face as bigger, stronger arms wrapped around his back.
‘Reg- Reggie, hey it’s okay Reg, I’m here is okay, mon petit frère.’
The voice- it sounded like Sirius but, it couldn’t have been. Regulus killed him. ‘You’re not real.’ He snapped and thrashed in whoever’s arms he was in ‘Let me go!’ he hit and clawed and scratched, ripping his lungs raw until he had nothing left in him and his fingertips were laced with blood.
The arms stayed wrapped tightly, and his brother’s hands never left his face.
‘It’s okay Regulus, I forgive you- please just calm down.’ Sirius coaxed gently, tucking Regulus hair. ‘That night, mother asked you to kill me and you refused- you refused Regulus, and you protected your mind from her, you’re strong enough to be brave Reg, you just have to try.’ His hands wiped stray tears off Regulus face.
It was real.
He looked down at the tanned arms covered in claw marks, wrapped around his torso.
‘James- I’m so-‘ His hands traced the scratches and pulled out of James’ now much looser grip, like a man scorned. James approached him like you would a wild horse, shoving on his robes so the marks couldn’t be seen, ‘It’s okay love, you’re okay now.’
James loves so tenderly, his warmth pours off of him in waves. It’s the only sensation Regulus will ever welcome to fill his lungs, though he will never deserve it.
‘I killed you.’ He spits, his voice shaking and embarrassed as he looks around at the now empty classroom, aside from Barty and Evan at the door blocking people.
‘You could never, mon étoile.’
Sirius enveloped him in a hug and cradled his head.
Regulus is the brightest star in the constellation of Leo, the lion, and it is thought to represent the lion's heart.
James tucked his hair while his head was hooked over his big brother’s shoulder ‘It’s time to be brave, mi pequeño rey.’