Social Media Mayhem

G
Social Media Mayhem
Summary
Draco has just acquired a smartphone and has no idea how to use it.Draco mistakes posts for searches and hilarity and embarrassment ensues.Hermione jumps in to save the day
All Chapters Forward

And I Said What About Breakfast With Slytherin

Theo and Blaise had slept in the common room, wanting to give Draco and their new Gryffindor bestie their space.

“How ya feeling? Need a hangover potion?” Theo asks Blaise.

“Nah mate I’m good. You?”

“I’m good. Nothing a good breakfast can’t fix. Let’s go.”

“Theo…” Blaise says.

“Yes?”

“You should probably wear something else.”

Theo looks down and chuckles as he realizes he is still dressed as someone Hermione had called Britney Spears.

“You know what Blaise? I think I kind of like this look. Shows off my hips, don’t you think?”

Blaise rolls his eyes and transfigures a pillow into a school cloak.

“Fine. But put this on over it.”

“You’re absolutely no fun. I will, but I’m taking it off the minute we get to the Great Hall.”

Blaise makes himself look presentable and says, “Ok let’s go.”

Theo dropped the cloak the minute they walked out of the common room.

~~~~~

Hermione wakes, surrounded by warmth. She opens her eyes and is greeted by the sight of Draco’s chest. Her head still rests on his right shoulder and his left arm was draped over her waist, his hand holding her side possessively even in sleep. She blushed as she realized her right leg was draped over Draco’s hip. Not moving her head, she looked up to see his sleeping face. It was so much more relaxed than she had ever seen it. He had a small smile, as if he were having a good dream. She snuggled deeper into him, hand stroking the hair at the nape of his neck, not wanting this moment to be over.

A few moments later Draco began skating his fingers along her lower back. “Good morning,” he said as he kissed the top of her head. He shifted so Hermione was laying on her back and peppered kisses from below her ear, across her jaw and finally to her lips.

She holds his head in her hands and deepens the kiss. She can feel his excitement pressing against her upper thigh and lets out a small, excited gasp. He shifts to kiss down her neck, alternating between kisses and gentle suckles. He begins to explore her sternum when both of their stomachs begin to rumble with a different kind of hunger.

Draco lets out a breath and they both chuckle, smiling at each other. “May I still escort you to breakfast Ms. Granger?”

“Only if we sit together, Mr. Malfoy.”

“I can always do a sticking charm. You won’t be able to get rid of me.”

Hermione giggles. She can’t remember the last time she had felt so happy- like the war had never happened, that she hadn’t lost friends. She felt…content.

The sit up, and Hermione says “I don’t have any clothes.” She puts her hand on her head. “I can’t walk back to my dorm like this.”

“Say no more Granger,” Draco says and snaps his fingers.

Hermione’s brows furrow as a house elf appears with a soft crack.“Good morning Mippy,” Draco says. She is wearing a silk tunic adorned with flowers.

“Morning Master Draco.”

“Mippy, would you please go to Ms. Granger’s dorm and bring back some clothes for her?”

“Of course Sir.”

“So polite,” Hermione says.

“I may deny it in public, but I did pay attention to your S.P.E.W. campaign. And yes she is paid. Quite handsomely.”

“Draco Malfoy, you softie!” Hermione places a kiss on the corner of his mouth.

Mippy reappears with what appears to be half of Hermione’s entire wardrobe.

“Thank you Mippy. It’s a pleasure to meet you.” Hermione says, smiling at the elf.

“Will that be all, sir?”

“Yes. Thank you.”

She bows and disappears as suddenly as she had come.

“I still have some S.P.E.W. pins if you’re interested in one.”

Draco cocks an eyebrow at her.

“Just saying…”

~~~

Once dressed, they exit the Slytherin dormitory, where the portrait greets them jovially.

“Oh hello young lovers! Everything seems to be sorted now, eh?”

“Erm, yes.” Draco says quickly, taking Hermione’s hand.

“Oh Ms. Granger!” The portrait called, beckoning her towards him.

She let go of Draco’s hand and walked towards the knight. He leaned down and whispered, “puritatem intent.” He stands back up and winks. “In case he needs your help again.”

“Oh my. Wow. Thank you.”

They make their way through the maze of stairs and corridors, once again hand in hand. They both felt a need from their core to always be close, always be touching one another, like two candles sharing the same wick. Hermione had opted for a pair of yoga pants, a light sweater and trainers. Draco was ever formal, even in his dark jeans and black button down.

They enter the Great Hall and see the trio from the night before. Theo is standing on the bench of the Slytherin table, singing what he remembers from the Britney Spears album they played last night.

They walk towards the group as murmurs arise from the other students, who are now staring at the Golden Girl and the former Death Eater.

Theo jumps down and embraces them both. “Good morning love birds!”

“Theo,” Draco says, “I never want to hear the word “bird” again. Stupid twitterbird.”

He takes a seat to Hermione’s left and begins to pile food onto both of their plates.

“Draco I can’t possibly eat all of this!” Hermione says laughingly.

He wraps his right arm around her waist and grabs his fork with his left. “Just want to make sure that you-“

He is interrupted by a rough tap on his shoulder. They turn around and see Ron Weasley standing over them.

“Hermione, come eat over there where you belong,” he starts, eying Draco up and down. “With us.” Ginny and Harry are at the Gryffindor table, looking on curiously. Ginny has a wicked smile on her face. She must have checked social media before breakfast.

Draco opens his mouth to speak, but Hermione squeezes his knee and he remains silent.

“I’m quite happy where I am, thank you.” Hermione replies.

“You can’t be serious. Why are you hanging out with death eater scum?” He spits out bitterly.

“Ron, I will not tolerate that sort of language. The war is over. We were all pawns and they were all pardoned. Now if you’re going to be a git, please do it somewhere else.” Ron’s face begins to flush in frustration and anger. He always had a short fuse when it came to Syltherins. More than they deserved. Even the first years who were just sorted. They were automatically bad people to him. She turns her back to him and begins to eat.

Ron lingers for a moment. “This isn’t right Hermione. We will talk about this later.”

“Goodbye Ron,” she says, not turning to face him.

“But Her-“

“GOODBYE RON. Enjoy your day.”

He storms back to the Gryffindor table, grumbling loudly.

They eat in silence for a moment until Theo says “seems like he has a whole hive of bees in his bonnet.”

Draco places a kiss on Hermione’s temple and leans to whisper in her ear “you know, you are quite sexy when you are cross.”

Hermione smiles at him, raising an eyebrow as she pops a roasted potato in her mouth.

“You have yet to see me cross, Mr. Malfoy.”

His pupils dilate as he stares at her hungrily. “Then I need to push your buttons a bit. I’m sure you will give me quite the show.”

“Perhaps you should.”

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