Oh No.
It was the middle of the night. Hermione Granger had been staring at her phone in confusion and mirth for over 20 minutes. But this was getting out of hand. She was starting to feel bad for the nasty Slythering that had absolutely no clue as to how to navigate social media. How their phones were working in Hogwart’s was beyond her, but that was something she would look into later.
She couldn’t show up to the Syltherin quarters in her night dress. She quickly changed into yoga pants and a sweater and headed down into the dungeons.
The painting of the old knight looked at her curiously.
“Good evening,” said Hermione. I know I don’t know the password. I am only going to knock. It’s the polite thing to do. I need to speak with Draco. He is having some…issues at the moment.”
The painting chuckled. “Oh, my dear, I know of what you are speaking about. Consider this a one time freebee.” The massive door slid open.
Hermione looked wide eyed at the painting. “Thank you. That is very kind of you.”
“His quarters are to the far right of the common room, just past the troll statue. Second door on the left, middle bed in front of the window,” the knight said, giving her another wink. Hermione needed to find out if she could give gifts to portraits.
Hermione rushed in and closed the door. Looking down at her phone she saw that Draco was still unknowingly making a fool of himself on Facebook. Tits. Hermione’s tits. Hermione’s arse. Everyone was having a good laugh at his expense. But this was too much.
She bounded up the stairs two at a time.
Not bothering to knock, she pushed the door open and it smacked into the wall. The bed curtains were drawn around the three beds in the room. She went to the one in front of the window, wrenching it open as it squealed in protest at the harsh movement.
“DRACO MALFOY PUT THAT DOWN THIS MOMENT!”
He looked up at her with wide eyes, like he was caught with his hand in the cookie jar.
“Whaaa….what?” he replied, confused at seeing the object of his mental affection standing at his bedside, heaving breaths as if he had finished what he wanted to do with her.
“Put.the.phone.down.”
Trying to play it cool, he somewhat recoved his composure and drawled “what ever are you talking about Granger?”
Impatient and wasting no time, Hermione jumped into the bed and crawled up next to the shirtless Draco. He tried to discreetly pull the sheets up over what may be come a problem as she shoved her phone in his face. “Read this,” she said, with no room to argue.
Draco took the phone from her and started jabbing at the screen, trying to reda the rest of the comments.
“No, like this,” Hermione said gently, showing him how to properly scroll.
Draco started to scroll. And scroll. And scroll in complete silence, his earlier smirk morphed into a blank stare, then a frown, and finally an incredulous, mortified “ooh”.
He looked at her.
She looked at him.
“Oops” was the only thing Draco could say.