First Prank Of The Year
“We need to pull a prank.” Sirius announces as he paces the length of the dorm.
Remus looks up from his book, arching a brow. Sirius has been restless to do wreak havoc since classes started. Remus personally does not get it. He doesn’t quite fancy detention at the moment. After last year he doesn’t want to have more on his record. Right now, Remus wishes to focus on his class work. There’s a full moon coming up soon and Remus wants to get as much work done, before then, as possible. A prank would take up a lot of his studying time and the detention that will no doubt follow will take even more of that time. Remus will have good grades this year even if it kills him. Which might not be out of the realms of possibilities, seeing as he is planning to be very ill, very soon.
“I would say it's more of a want than a need.” Remus says.
“We have a reputation to upkeep, Moony!” Sirius exclaims. Remus rolls his eyes, both at the stupidity of his statement and the nickname. They gave him the name late last year and now Sirius exclusively calls him the nickname. Remus looks to Peter for support.
“I think that’s a great idea, Sirius!” James says, which automatically makes Peter think so too. The chubby boy nods vigorously.
“Yes! Amazing!” Peter squeaks. Remus groans. He needs new friends.
“Why are you being so grouchy, Moony?” Sirius asks, tilting his head making his hair fall into his face. Remus gets a fluttery feeling in his stomach. Suddenly, Remus no longer needs new friends
“I would like to do something productive. Like, maybe, I don’t know, all that school work that we need to get done?” Remus says flatly. Classes started only a month ago and James, Sirius and Peter already have four essays from Transfiguration, History of Magic, Defence Against the Dark Arts, and Charms that are late. If the rest of the year is going to go like this they are in serious trouble. “Maybe you should focus on that instead of wreaking havoc.”
“You’re no fun.” Sirius says with a petulant pout that almost makes Remus cave, but no. Remus Lupin is a weak boy, but not that weak. Well, he will be that weak soon, but that’s besides the point.
In the end the marauders convince Remus to help them with the prank. He is their evil mastermind, after all. They all decide that the prank will be targeted at the dungeons. At first they (Sirius) had the brilliant idea to steal premature mandrakes from the greenhouses and put them in the dungeons, so whoever walks past would pass out upon hearing the mandrake’s screaming. But Regulus, who they included in the prank, helpfully pointed out that the mandrakes could be too old and actually kill someone, so that plan was swiftly vetoed.
Then, one day, about a week later, Professor Sprout gives them an opportunity she never meant to give them. In the greenhouse, the bubotubers and puffapods got planted together, and by accident made these strange flowers that spit bubotuber pus if anyone went anywhere near them. Peter found that out the hard way. Professor Sprout trusted them, for some unimaginable reason, to throw the flowers out. Of course, that's not what they did.
That night Remus, Sirius, and James lug the crate of mutation bubotuber flowers down to the dungeons. Peter and Regulus are look-out, which they were more than happy to do. They didn’t want to risk getting hit by the demon flowers, as Peter called them. He still has a small rash on his face from getting sprayed by flowers. Madam Pomfrey can fix a lot, but she thought it was best, once she got rid of the boils, to let it heal by itself.
Remus, although not being happy with being close to the flowers, is actually quite excited for this prank. He is glad that this prank is so simple, as well. He didn’t lose too much study time since they had to wait until after curfew to drag the mutation flowers down to the dungeons. He has also been preparing for the aftermath of the prank. Remus has been a star student, making sure he is not a suspect of the prank. He really does not want detention.
Remus’ back is hurting. He has a worse back than most his age, seeing as it elongates every full moon. He wishes that they would rotate who is carrying the crate because it’s really bloody heavy. Remus feels a click in his side and immediately decides to rotate with Regulus. He is not throwing out his back for a stupid prank. He makes James and Sirius stop, making an apologetic gesture when they glare at him. They really want to get this done.
“Hey, Reg?” Remus whisper-shouts through gritted teeth.
“Mhm?” Regulus hums.
“Can you hold the crate for a little while? My back is killing me.” he whispers. Regulus narrows his eyes suspiciously, like Remus is somehow plotting against him. Remus furrows his brows.
“Okay.” Regulus says slowly, as if he’s still suspicious. Remus lets out a breath of relief.
“Thanks.” he murmurs, moving out of the way when Regulus walks over to take the crate in his stead.
Remus and Peter are look-out until they get to the dungeons. They get the flowers down the stairs, miraculously not blowing any of the flowers up. Remus and Regulus, being the best at levitation, get to work levitating the demon flowers into their hiding places. They hide them everywhere, from cracks in the ceiling to inside the suits of armor. Sirius may or may not have started to charm the armor to move towards the nearest person, pretty much ensuring chaos.
“Sirius, what are you doing!?” Regulus hisses when he sees Sirius waving his wand at a suit of armor Remus just put a flower in.
“Making the prank ten times better!” Sirius murmurs.
“And how are you doing that?” Remus asks flatly.
“I’m charming them to move towards people.” Sirius says, already moving on to the next suit of armor.
“Oh! Let me help! What charm are you using?” James asks
Remus sighs and returns to hiding the flowers as James and Sirius go about making the armor move. Remus, though he would never admit it, thinks the charm is actually pretty smart. Remus won’t admit it because Sirius’ ego is already inflated enough, in his opinion.
When Remus and Regulus finish hiding the flowers they have to wait for Sirius and James to finish charming the suits of armor. They talk to Peter, who is still on look-out, in the meantime.
“What do you think about what they’re doing?” Asks Regulus.
“I think it's brilliant!” Peter whispers.
“I think it’ll make things a bit more… interesting.” Remus muses. Remus actually thinks it’s an amazing idea as well, but, again, Sirius already has a huge ego.
“It's smart, but Sirius uses his smart brain for stupid things.” Regulus says bluntly. Remus snorts.
“Those are the truest words I have heard all week.” Remus whispers.
“Hey! I heard that!” Sirius calls from the other side of the corridor. Regulus and Remus snicker. Peter looks between them, he’s not laughing, seemingly not knowing which reaction is acceptable in this given situation.
Once Sirius and James finish up they walk over, dragging the crate into an empty broom cupboard and joining them at the entrance to the dungeons. James puts an arm around Regulus’ shoulder. James has been very welcoming to Regulus since he was sorted. Knowing James he’s probably doing it so Regulus feels comfortable, but knowing Regulus, he is probably very uncomfortable. Usually Regulus pushes him off, but this time his cheeks flush and his expression turns sheepish. What’s that about?
“So, does anyone fancy raiding the kitchen before we go back?” James asks, jostling Regulus who finally pushes him off. James just grins at him.
“Oh, yes!” Sirius exclaims and Regulus shushes him. “Sorry. Oh, yes!” Sirius whisper-shouts. Regulus rolls his eyes.
“I wouldn’t mind going to the kitchen.” Remus muses.
They all head over to the corridor near the Hufflepuff common room. James leads the way over to a portrait with a fruit bowl on it and tickles the peach. The peach turns into a handle and James pushes the door open.
Regulus hasn’t been in the kitchen yet, so when he steps into the sparkling white room his expression turns to awe. Remus grins in amusement. He thinks he must have looked like that when he saw the kitchens for the first time. The kitchen isn’t as beautiful as the rest of the castle. Mostly because the students and teachers don’t see it, or aren’t meant to. Of course, students still sneak in anyway.
Remus walks into the kitchen, nudging Regulus on the way. He looks back at Regulus, who is snapping out of his trance and steps into the kitchen as well. The house elves are very accommodating, as usual. Regulus is being very kind to the house elves. Sirius had said that Regulus is friends with Kreacher, the Black family house elf, back home. Remus guesses Regulus likes house elves. Remus can’t imagine how Regulus is friends with Kreacher, seeing as Sirius had described him as a creepy, grumbling git. But, Regulus is friends with him, and that is that.
Once the boys are sufficiently stocked up with food they head back up to Gryffindor tower. They invite Regulus up to their dorm, to have a very manly sleepover.
~*~
Regulus has gotten more comfortable with the marauders, as Sirius calls them, over the last couple hours. Regulus is actually quite excited about the results of the prank, especially since he took part in it. He’s very excited to see his dear cousins, Bellatrix and Narcissa’s reaction. Even if he likes his cousins, they have been acting differently towards him since the sorting, which he understands, but, well, he’s still their cousin. Their family.
The next morning the boys all head down to the great hall early. Regulus had been woken up by Sirius shaking him vigorously.
“Wake up Reggie!” he exclaimed. Regulus had groaned and pushed him off. It had taken ten minutes of Sirius’ pestering, ten minutes of James’, and Remus asking him to please get up once. He was very polite so Regulus deemed his request worthy of fulfilling. Sirius did not seem to like this. But Regulus doesn’t care. He needs to learn how to be polite.
Now, they are in the great hall, at six-thirty in the morning, waiting for the Slytherins to come up from the dungeons to see the fruits of their labor. After about thirty minutes a Slytherin walks into the hall, wearing the hood of their hood low, no doubt trying to hide their face.
Then, a greasy skinned and haired boy walks into the hall. Severus Snape. Or Snivellus, as James and Sirius call him. Regulus never liked him. He’s unhygienic and hypocritical, seeing as he spews pure-blood supremacy ideals and he’s a half-blood himself. Not that there’s nothing wrong with being a half-blood. Remus is a half-blood. Regulus likes Remus. He does not like Snivellus. Which is why Regulus is so satisfied to see the rash and the boils on his face.
“Oi, Snivellus!” Sirius calls over to Snape. Severus sneers and looks over.
“Looking good!” Regulus says, giving Severus a thumbs up. Snape scowls, Regulus arches a brow at him. Sirius and Regulus grin at each other, going back to looking at the entrance of the hall, looking for more of their victims.
By the end of breakfast they find out that all the Slytherins were affected, much to the enjoyment of the marauders. Nothing could ruin Regulus’ mood. Nothing, except for when Regulus gets a howler. From his mother. He hasn’t gotten a letter from her yet, much to Regulus and Sirius’ surprise. They thought that she would send a letter right away, reprimanding him for his sorting. But, Walburga Black always did have a flair for dramatics.
Regulus winces when he sees the letter. The bright red envelope. it's taunting him, he's sure of it. Regulus sighs and opens the howler. His mother’s voice starts screeching out of the letter in French. Oh, she must have been livid.
“I cannot believe this! Another child of mine in Gryffindor! Regulus, do you not wish to make your mother and father proud!? First your brother, and now you! I am utterly disappointed in the both of you! You better not be getting any ideas! You are still a Black! Act like it!” and with that, the letter rips itself into shreds. The hall is silent. Regulus hates it. He looks over at Sirius who is looking at him with a sympathetic grimace.
After breakfast the boys all go back up to the dorms, since it’s a weekend, and Sirius spends the rest of the morning with Regulus, comforting him.
Regulus doesn’t have a good mother. Regulus doesn’t have a good family.
But, Regulus has a good brother.
Maybe, that’s enough.