Prologue
“James, what is wrong with you? What could you possibly be hiding from me?” Sirius Black is pissed, though curiosity is obvious within his grey-blue eyes. James can feel tears stinging his eyes, threatening to pour out. Why must it be so hard to hide things from those you love? Pushing his glasses up his nose, James lets out a sigh through his nose and wriggles uncomfortably on the black velvet couch beneath him.
“Sirius, I love you but-“
“But doesn’t cut it, Potter. I’m not going out there,” a pale finger is shoved in the direction of the door that lets you into the hallway that leads to the stage of London’s biggest venue. “if you don’t tell me what’s going on right now.”
Peter Pettigrew pipes up. “Guys, c’mon. Surely this can wait until after the performance, right?” Sirius shoots Peter a deadly glare that has him cowering immediately. Peter pushes his sandy hair back, letting out a deep, but shaky breath.
James looks down at his browned hands, picking at the rough skin around his painted nails while Sirius’s eyes bore into his head. The distraction is barely enough to take away the feeling of shame that resides deep within James. Uncomfortable silence takes over the room until James gives up on being distracted and pushes himself off the couch, his body cold from the lack of warmth that the couch has been providing him. Someone grabs his shoulder as James reaches for the dark oak door in front of him. He looks behind to see Remus Lupin staring at him with sympathetic eyes. Remus knows what is going on. He’s known for months. James just doesn’t know how to tell Sirius. Remus goes to say something, but James is quick to shrug his scarred, tanned hand off his shoulder and bursts through the door. It slams shut, but not before James hears Sirius call out, ‘Coward’. He feels a single tear slide down his face. Wiping it quickly with the back of his hand, James makes his way down the hall.
James’ clothes stick to his skin, his breaths ragged and uneven as he walks down the cold, grey hall hastily, making sure to avoid anyone on staff that he knows. However, it doesn’t last long before James runs into the one person he wishes he hadn’t run into.
“James?” Regulus’ voice is calming in a way that James wished it wasn’t. Regulus grabs onto James’ bare shoulders to stop him from running. His skin pales in comparison to James’. “Jamie, are you okay?” James’ heart clenches at the nickname. He shouldn’t be doing this. He shouldn’t have feelings and thoughts like this. Regulus Black is not only the manager of the Marauders but also Sirius Black’s little brother.
James shakes his head. He stares into Regulus’ pale blue eyes before saying, “Reg, I can’t do this any longer.” Regulus’ brow pinches.
“Can’t do what, James?” his voice is small and unsure.
“Us.” James hisses, voice strained. Regulus’ face visibly drops. He tries to say something, anything, but nothing comes out. James instantly regrets what he said.
“What the hell do you mean ‘us’?” Both boys freeze as the familiar voice seethes from behind them. Head turning slowly, James cowers beneath Sirius’ rage-filled eyes. The once curious and caring gaze that Sirius had worn is replaced with betrayal. Sirius looks between Regulus and James before stopping to look at Reg.
“What’s going on, Regulus?” Sirius asks. He says it nonchalantly, but James knows as well as Regulus does that Sirius won’t take what he said lightly.
“Sirius, I swear it’s not what it looks like.” The hall is filled with silence. James spots Remus and Peter behind Sirius, Peter’s eyes wide while concern is etched into Remus’ features. Sirius nods before spinning on his heel and walking away.
He pauses after he pushes past Remus and Peter, bumping his shoulders into each of them. Turning back to face James and Regulus, he speaks in an almost lethal tone.
“I’m not going out there with liars,” he aims this at James, while his last words are aimed at Regulus. “And I’m done with the band.”