Raven's heart

Sirius had always been the embodiment of confidence—his presence lit up the room, laughter spilling from his lips like a magic charm. But as he stood at the entrance of the library, the towering shelves filled with ancient tomes, he felt an unusual flutter in his chest. Today, however, he wasn’t here to indulge in his usual escapades; today, he was here for something he didn’t quite understand..

Sirius had never thought much of the library. Quiet wasn’t his thing, and books usually bored him. But that particular evening, he found himself wandering in, drawn by the hushed, almost forbidden silence—a rare calm in the storm of life at Hogwarts. He meandered through the stacks, aimless, only half paying attention to the rows of spines and dusty shelves, wondering what James would say if he saw him in here.

Then he saw him.

Sitting alone at a table near the tall, rain-streaked windows was a boy with shaggy, brown hair and a look of deep concentration. His tie was a little loose around his neck, the sleeves of his sweater pushed up just past his elbows, and he had this quiet intensity about him, like the whole world was held in place by his thoughts alone.

Sirius couldn’t look away.

It was strange, that feeling—he couldn’t explain it, even to himself. All he knew was that he wanted to keep watching, to notice every tiny detail about this boy. How his fingers absently twisted a quill, how his eyebrows furrowed when he read something he didn’t like, how his mouth curved slightly when he found a passage that pleased him. Sirius’s heart pounded. He’d seen plenty of people before, felt interest, sure—but this? This was something entirely new.

The boy was a Ravenclaw—Sirius could tell from his tie—but he didn’t know him. He wanted to know everything about him. But when he tried to imagine himself walking over, introducing himself, his mind went blank. The confidence that he usually wore like armor seemed to vanish. He was supposed to be a Gryffindor, after all, brave and reckless. But here he was, rooted to the spot, too shy to even say hello. He just stood there, half-hidden by a row of books, watching.

After a few minutes, the boy gathered his things, tucked a worn-looking book under his arm, and left the library without noticing him. As he walked out, Sirius found himself feeling strangely bereft, as if he’d just lost something he’d only just found.

From that moment on, he couldn’t stop thinking about him.

At first, it was innocent enough. Sirius found himself in the library more often, lingering by the stacks, pretending to study as he watched the boy from afar. He soon learned his schedule without meaning to—what days he was likely to be there, how he’d walk in just before dinner most nights and stay till nearly curfew. He learned other things too. The Ravenclaw had a habit of tucking his hair behind his ear when he was reading. He’d sometimes close his eyes and breathe deeply when he was trying to remember something, as if he could will the knowledge into his mind.

Sirius didn’t know what he was feeling, exactly. It was more than curiosity, but it wasn’t love—not yet, at least. It felt more like hunger. Like he needed to know every little thing about this boy, as if those details would somehow unlock something within himself.

The weeks turned into months. Sirius began to anticipate where the Ravenclaw would be without thinking about it, his own days quietly rearranged to bring him closer to this boy he still hadn’t spoken to. He knew the route he took to Charms, his favorite bench by the lake, the secluded corner in the library where he’d sit, cross-legged, nose deep in a book.

And yet, every time he thought about actually talking to him, he froze. He’d stand there, rehearsing in his head, imagining some clever or casual way to strike up a conversation. But each time, he’d feel his courage drain away, as though his words might break whatever invisible thread had tethered them together.

One evening, James caught him lingering by the library door, watching as the boy disappeared around a corner.

“Since when are you the bookish type, Padfoot?” James had teased, nudging him with a knowing grin. Sirius brushed it off, laughing along, but even then, he felt that strange, possessive twinge—like he didn’t want anyone else to know about this obsession of his. Like it was something fragile that only he could understand.

And maybe, in some twisted way, it was.

The boy’s name, he’d eventually learned, was Remus. Remus Lupin. Quiet, brilliant, reserved—everything Sirius wasn’t. And somehow, that only deepened his fascination, as if by knowing Remus, he might discover something about himself.

Days blurred together in a strange, silent routine. Sirius found himself following Remus without meaning to. He knew Remus’s schedule like it was his own—where he’d be, when he’d be there. He’d linger in the shadows, heart racing whenever he caught a glimpse of that shaggy hair, that thoughtful expression. And yet, he could never find the courage to speak to him.

As the first term drew to a close, Sirius realized that his feelings had changed. What had started as curiosity had grown, twisted into something more. He found himself dreaming about Remus, imagining conversations that hadn’t happened, trying to piece together his thoughts and fears and hopes like a puzzle. It was intoxicating and terrifying all at once.

One day, he was so close to finally take the courage and talk to him. With a determined breath, Sirius took a step forward, but hesitation gripped him. What would he even say? “Hello, I’m Sirius, and I’ve been infatuated with you from a distance?” That wouldn’t do. That sounded like a declaration made by a fool—perhaps a Gryffindor fool, which he surely was. He leaned against a nearby shelf, hiding his presence behind a thick volume on magical creatures, hoping to catch just a little more of Remus’s quiet magic.

Time passed, or perhaps it stood still. He could watch Remus forever, studying the way his fingers brushed against the pages, the delicate movements that spoke of a deeper passion. But soon, an undeniable urge stirred within him. He wanted to know Remus, to break down the barriers that kept them apart. But a knot of fear coiled in his stomach—what if he approached and Remus just Brushed him off, or thought that he was a freak or something.

Before he could linger too long on his self-doubt, Sirius turned on his heel, retreating into the maze of bookshelves, a mix of admiration and frustration boiling within him. Each time he found himself alone with his thoughts, he recalled Remus’s soft laughter, the way he would occasionally engage with a friend in the common room, though that was a rare sight. He yearned to be part of that world, to understand the mind that lay behind those thoughtful eyes.

Days turned into weeks, and as the autumn leaves began to fall outside the castle, Sirius found himself following Remus more and more. . Each step he took was shadowed by an invisible thread, pulling him closer to Remus, a fascination that morphed slowly into something more obsessive.

The library became their unspoken meeting place. Sirius would always choose a seat near Remus, pretending to be immersed in his work while really absorbing every movement the other boy made. He’d watch as Remus would jot down notes, occasionally glancing out of the window with a look of deep contemplation, as if the world beyond the glass held answers to questions he hadn’t yet voiced.

Despite his bravado, Sirius struggled to muster the courage to approach him. What if he stumbled over his words? What if Remus didn’t feel the same spark that ignited within Sirius’s chest? He thought himself brave in every other aspect—he could face a dragon or a duel, but confronting this quiet boy was something altogether different

One specific Day him and James were walking, under the Invisibility Cloak, They were Famished And They Head down to the Kitchen It was well past curfew, and the castle was shrouded in silence, the kind of quiet that only fell over Hogwarts in the deepest hours of the night. Sirius and James, both grinning like fools, huddled under the Invisibility Cloak, sneaking their way down to the kitchen with rumbling stomachs and a shared craving for a late-night feast. They knew this routine well enough; the path was second nature, and their footsteps barely made a sound against the stone floor.

“Honestly, Pads, if we get caught because you wanted to try and charm the house-elves into making you treacle tart…” James whispered, his voice a mix of amusement and mock exasperation.

Sirius grinned, elbowing him lightly. “As if you’re here for any other reason, mate.”

They laughed softly, their steps echoing down the long corridor, but Sirius felt a strange sensation prickling at the back of his mind, like a distant alarm that wouldn’t stop ringing. They rounded a corner, and then he saw him.

Remus.

Remus was standing near one of the castle’s arched windows, bathed in faint moonlight. He looked otherworldly, framed by the dark shadows of the stone walls and the silver sheen of the night sky Sirius Nearly Forget that this is the Times for his rounds because he was a prefect. For a second, Sirius forgot to breathe, his gaze fixed on the boy who had so thoroughly consumed his thoughts. A pang of something unrecognizable—and almost painful—twisted inside his chest, freezing him in place.

James, perhaps sensing the shift in Sirius, stopped too, shooting his friend a confused look. “What’s up with y—?”

But then he, too, went silent, his gaze drifting to Remus. And before Sirius could even process what was happening, they stumbled over each other, limbs tangling awkwardly, causing the Invisibility Cloak to slip right off them.

Remus turned at the noise, his eyes widening as he took in the sight of the two boys suddenly appearing before him. For a long moment, he simply stared, clearly surprised. But then Sirius noticed a subtle shift; Remus’s gaze slid past him and settled on James with an intensity that made Sirius’s stomach churn.

“Remus,” James greeted, his voice low and amused. Sirius could practically feel the grin in his voice, the flirtatious glint that rarely left his eyes. “Couldn’t sleep?”

Remus raised a brow, a slight smile tugging at the corners of his mouth as he looked at James. “No.. Just Making My rounds around The castle ,Prefect thing,” he replied softly, his tone carrying a hint of amusement. His gaze lingered on James in a way that made Sirius’s heart clench. Was he imagining it, or was there something… knowing in those glances?

“Oh, we just couldn’t resist a little nighttime adventure.” James’s voice dropped a notch, the playful edge unmistakable." so..., Fancy a walk.?"

For a moment, Remus hesitated, his gaze flicking between them both, but it seemed almost locked on James. Then, as if deciding against something, he offered a small, almost enigmatic smile. “Maybe next time.”

With one last look, Remus turned and continued down the hall, leaving the two boys alone, the silence suddenly heavier.

“Well, that was unexpected,” James murmured, his expression still amused, though Sirius could see the light in his eyes had taken on a slightly different, softer quality.

Sirius forced a smile, a tight feeling pressing against his ribs. “Yeah. Didn’t see that one coming.”

They continued on to the kitchen, the thrill of their adventure dampened by the encounter. Sirius tried to brush it off, but something about the way Remus and James had looked at each other stayed with him, a small splinter of doubt that he couldn’t shake, no matter how hard he tried.

He glanced At James While They Were Eating In The Kitchen And He Try to sound causal. "so.., you Know Remus?". James swallowed another mouthful of food, his eyes flickering up from his plate, a hint of curiosity in his gaze. "Yeah, I know him."

There was something in his tone, soft and almost wistful, that made Sirius's stomach twist. He leaned back a bit, trying to appear casual despite the flutter of unease in his chest. "How well?"

James paused, his hand hovering over a plate of treacle tart like he was considering something. He gave a slight shrug, his voice unusually nonchalant. "We've had a few classes together here and there. Talked sometimes."

Sirius narrowed his eyes, his pulse racing. “And…?” he pressed, needing more information but unsure why he was even asking.
James’s gaze finally met Sirius’s, his expression turning serious for a moment. "Why the sudden interest?"

Sirius tried to wave it off with a flippant gesture. "Just curious, prongs" But he couldn’t keep the edge from his voice, his heart thudding hard in his chest.

James regarded him quietly for a moment, his eyes searching. Then he sighed, putting down his knife and fork. "Remus is... Funny And smart, He's A nice Person....”

Sirius felt a pang of something sharp and unpleasant at the easy way James spoke of him. It made him Feel an ugly feeling, bubble up Inside him, but eventually He Brush it aside, as They Walk back to the Gryffindor tower