Chapter xiv
Sirius Orion Black
ur coming 2 remuss bday party u can bring ur friends
Regulus stared blankly at the text for a while, trying to decide whether or not it was proof that someone had stolen his brother’s phone. Sirius was smart, he knew Regulus would be loathe to go to any party.
Sirius Orion Black
he asked me 2 invite u so u have to come
Regulus decided this was extremely unlikely.
If he wanted me to come, he could have texted me himself, he would have no reason to ask you to text me. What’s actually going on?
It hardly took a second for Sirius to respond.
394 paige ave 9:00 pm
This was not the answer Regulus was asking for, but it was all he got, in true Sirius fashion. No answers, just unexplained expectations.
Sirius, if you don’t tell me what this is about I won’t come.
This time, the response took a little longer:
Sirius Orion Black
if u don’t show up at ming by 845 Jame will kidnap u and bring u 2 the party
…
Apparently, that threat was serious. Pun not fucking intended.
“Oi Reggie, hurry up, you’re gonna be late!”
Regulus took a second to let his complete and utter despair kick in before he spoke back through the gap of his chain-locked door. “I can’t be late to somewhere I’m not going.”
“You’ll break Moony’s heart, Reg, come on.”
“...what the fuck is a ‘Moony’?”
“You mean whom the fuck is a Moony,” James responded.
“Who the fuck. Not whom,” Regulus interrupted instinctively. “Who the fuck is a Moony?”
“Glad you asked.” James grinned, seeming annoyingly unphased. “A Moony is a Remus.”
“...then why didn’t you just call him Remus?”
“My, aren’t we inquisitive,” James shot back with a smirk. “Now come on. If we’re late Pads will kill me.”
Regulus felt his frustration grow along with his confusion. “Who the hell is Pads?”
“Your brother, obviously.”
Of course. Because why would his cisgender male older brother not share a nickname with a menstrual product?
James took advantage of Regulus’s momentary bewilderment, pushing harder on the slightly open door. If he pushed any harder, he was going to break the chain lock. Like a bastard.
“James, I swear to any higher being there may or may not be, if you break my door-”
“Relax.” And somehow James was pushing the door open, and the chain lock was undone but not broken. “Was just picking it. Now come on. We seriously are going to be late.”
Regulus didn’t move, still holding on tight to his doorframe. He didn’t know why he almost wanted to go. “James…”
And then the other man’s voice was different. It was quieter, seeming almost bittersweet. “Please. He really wants you there. He’s trying, you have no idea how much it matters to him that we get alo-”
Regulus interrupted once he realized whom the mysterious ‘he’ was. Because Sirius mattered more than his comfort. “Fine, let’s go.”
And so they did.
Soon after Regulus stepped into what he assumed must have been Remus’s condo, James begged off to go stop Peter from confessing his undying love to the third girl he’d just met that night.
Regulus had never loved parties. They were loud and stuffy and uncomfortable. And this one was no exception. But his brother wanted him there.
“Regulus! You made it!” Remus sounded unfairly happy at the fact.
“...yes. Happy birthday, Remus.” Regulus tried to make the period sound like an exclamation point, but he was unsuccessful.
Remus laughed at this, still far too excited. “Parties aren’t your scene, I’m guessing. Thanks for coming, anyway. Sirius really wanted you here.” There was an awkward pause, as if Remus was trying to remember something. “Oh! As did I, yeah. I’m glad you’re here.”
“...yeah. Thank you.”
“...so. Uh. …want a drink? Or something to eat?”
“He’s good,” Sirius interrupted, seeming to come from nowhere, quite obviously drunk. “Reg doesn’t drink.” He laughed a second later. “Or eat, for that matter. Should probably work on that, little brother.” Sirius laughed again.
Laughed at Regulus.
And Regulus was wishing he hadn’t come.
“Pads,” Remus said quietly, the nickname sounding like a warning.
“Yes, Moony? My moonage daydream? The moon to my stars?”
Sirius was extremely drunk.
Remus seemed flustered, which Regulus understood, because he had an obvious crush on the older Black. For all of Remus’s intelligence, he had terrible taste.
“I’ll just be-” Regulus gestured vaguely behind him, searching for any escape. He couldn’t breathe well.
“But I want you to be friends with my boyfriend,” Sirius whined.
Boyfriend?
Remus didn’t seem pleased, but he didn’t seem confused, either.
So they really were together.
And Sirius hadn’t told him.
Regulus felt cold.
He’d told Sirius.
He’d told Sirius he was Regulus, not Ursa.
But it didn’t matter.
Sirius hadn’t told him.
“I’ve got to get-” Regulus choked out. Out. Out. Out, I’ve got to get out. “-going.”
“Why? You a homophobe?” Sirius laughed. “Come on. You know I saw you kissing Tauria - Parkinson now, right? - at that party.”
What?
No.
No.
No, no, no.
That was the only straight kiss Regulus had ever had.
And he hadn’t wanted to have it.
And Sirius was using it as evidence of him being gay.
As if he was a girl.
Sirius still thought he was a girl.
No matter how fucking hard Regulus tried, Sirius still thought he was a girl.
“Sirius,” Remus said warningly. “Shut up.”
“Why? I’m right. But he’s trying to act just like our parents.”
Regulus heard what Sirius wasn’t saying. ‘He’s just like our parents.’
“Goodbye,” Regulus muttered, pushing blindly through the crowd. He just had to get away. Away, away, away.
The outside air hit his face, but it wasn’t a relief like he expected.
It was cold.
He was cold.
He was so cold.
He didn’t know how he got home. He didn’t remember walking or getting driven.
But he was there with Pandora.
And there was a grilled cheese sandwich - a toastie, as Pandora called it - in front of him, along with a bowl of tomato soup.
It was cold.
Pandora was asleep at the table.
The clock on the far wall said it was 3:19.
Regulus assumed that it was in the A.M.
It was dark out.
Usually that meant night.
But who cared?
His parents never had.
…
“Did you see? Your niece Andromeda tried to hang a pride flag in her room. Cygnus and Druella ended that insanity, of course.”
Walburga’s voice was nonchalant, almost bored, but Regulus saw through that. She was disgusted. She was full of hatred.
“No?” Orion responded, actually bored. He hadn’t cared about anything in a long time, least of all his family. “How disgraceful.”
“It is, isn’t it?” Walburga seemed not to mind her husband’s tone. “If you ask me, Cygnus and Druella are far too lax with their children. Comes from having all daughters, I suppose. Still, if one of our children chose to be a fa-”
“What? You’d make us hate our lives even more?” Sirius cut in. “Not possible.”
The lights in the room Walburga dragged Sirius into stayed on for a long time that night.