James Potter had always considered himself a confident bloke. His wild hair, his easy charm, the way his pranks left Slytherins groaning in defeat—all of it spoke to a certain type of assuredness. He didn’t worry about much. Except, it seemed, Sirius.
It started innocently enough, like most things did with James and Sirius. They were best mates—practically brothers, as the saying went—and they’d spent countless hours together over the years, pulling pranks, sneaking around the school, and passing notes in class. James had never really thought twice about it. They were always in each other’s pockets, no one thinking anything of it.
But recently? Things were different. James noticed it first on a Tuesday afternoon, when Sirius was lounging by the fire in the common room, talking to Remus about something ridiculously unimportant. And James, for some reason, had noticed the way Sirius had leaned just a little too close to Remus, the casual touch of his shoulder against his.
It wasn’t anything significant, James told himself. Nothing worth getting worked up over. But then it happened again. And again. And before long, every time he saw it, his insides tightened. That was his best friend. He had known Sirius longer than anyone else, longer than Remus or Peter, and definitely longer than Lily Evans. So why did it suddenly feel like he had to share him?
That was when James realized—he was territorial. And worse, it wasn't just a passing feeling.
He wasn’t quite sure when it had started, but it was undeniable now: he felt like he had some sort of claim on Sirius. Like Sirius was his. And it wasn’t just about friendship anymore.
James didn’t want to admit it, but there was a twinge of jealousy whenever Sirius spent too much time with someone else. It didn’t help that Sirius was, well, Sirius—charming, disarming, effortlessly attractive in that way that made people gravitate toward him. But James didn’t want to share that with anyone. He didn’t know if it was fear or something else, but it burned every time he saw someone else trying to *connect* with him in ways he had always connected with Sirius.
It wasn’t like he wanted to feel like this. But now that he did, he couldn’t stop it.
The first time it all came to a head was in the Gryffindor common room, right before dinner. James was sitting with Peter, lazily flipping through a Quidditch magazine, when he looked up and saw Sirius and Remus again, deep in conversation by the window. They were laughing together, their heads bent close, and James could feel his heartbeat spike. Remus had his hand on Sirius’s arm, just for a second, but it felt like too much. Sirius was laughing like he always did, eyes sparkling, and James’s insides churned.
He couldn’t stop himself.
“I don’t get it,” James muttered to Peter, his voice tight.
Peter glanced up from his magazine. “What?”
“Remus and Sirius,” James said, his words tumbling out before he could censor them. “They’ve been like this all week—spending so much time together, like I’m not even here.”
Peter blinked. “Uh... you’re aware they’re best mates too, right?”
James’s frustration bubbled to the surface. “Yeah, I know they’re best mates, but—” He cut himself off, glaring in the direction of the two. “It’s like... he’s ignoring me. He’s been ignoring me all week. It’s... weird.”
Peter was silent for a moment, and then he burst into a chuckle. “Mate, are you seriously saying you’re jealous?”
James shot him a glare, not appreciating the teasing, but Peter just laughed harder. “Oh, this is rich. You, James Potter—jealous? This is going to be fun.”
Before James could respond, Sirius appeared beside him, plopping down onto the couch with a dramatic sigh.
“Prongs!” Sirius greeted with his usual grin, tossing an arm over the back of James’s chair. “You wouldn’t believe the gossip Remus has been telling me. Some of the things those Slytherins get up to—incredible.”
James’s chest tightened at the familiar closeness, and he couldn’t help but scowl. “You’ve been spending a lot of time with Remus lately, haven’t you?” he asked, his tone coming out more biting than he intended.
Sirius blinked, a teasing smile on his face. “What, are you worried, Prongs?” His eyes sparkled with amusement. “Didn’t realize you’d get so territorial about me.”
James shifted uncomfortably, trying to avoid Sirius’s gaze. “I’m not territorial,” he muttered, but even to his own ears, the words felt weak, unconvincing. “I just—”
“You are, mate,” Sirius interrupted, voice too light, too knowing. “You’re bloody jealous.”
James’s face flushed, and he shot to his feet, frustration spilling over. “I’m not jealous!” He ran a hand through his messy hair, pacing in the small space. “I just don’t get it. I’m your best friend, Sirius. Why do you keep—why do you spend so much time with him?”
Sirius raised an eyebrow, clearly not expecting the outburst. “Spending time with who? Remus?”
James nodded, his heart thumping in his chest. “Yeah, him. You’ve been glued to him all week. You don’t even talk to me anymore. You don’t even need to talk to me, do you?”
Sirius stared at him, and then, to James’s surprise, his face softened, and a strange quietness settled over him. “James…” he said, and his voice had an edge of something James couldn’t place. “Mate, I—”
But before he could finish, Remus appeared from the hallway, a quizzical look on his face. “Is everything alright here?” he asked, his gaze flicking between the two boys.
Sirius shrugged, an easy grin returning to his face. “Yeah, just getting a rise out of Prongs. You know how he gets when he’s feeling left out.”
James opened his mouth to protest, but Remus’s sharp eyes caught his. There was an understanding there, something unspoken.
“I think you’ve been very much included, Prongs,” Remus said quietly, though his tone wasn’t unkind. “Maybe you should cut Sirius a bit of slack.”
James stared at him, feeling his chest tighten even further, but then Sirius—Sirius of all people—took a step closer, a mischievous look in his eyes. “It’s okay, Prongs. You can have me back now. If it makes you feel better,” he said, voice teasing. But there was something else there. A flicker of something that James couldn’t ignore.
James scowled, still bristling, but there was a hollow feeling in his stomach now, one that wasn’t entirely from anger. “I don’t need you to ‘give me back,’ Sirius,” he muttered, his hands clenching at his sides.
Sirius leaned in, his grin widening. “Don’t worry, mate,” he said softly. “I’m not going anywhere.”
But as Sirius spoke, James felt a knot of unease in his gut. There was a sense of finality to those words, and part of him knew that this—the way he felt about Sirius—wasn’t just a phase. It was real, and that terrified him.
“Yeah?” James asked hoarsely, meeting Sirius’s eyes. “Well, maybe you should.”
The words hung in the air, and for a moment, Sirius’s smirk faltered. Then, just as quickly, it was back—soothing, unbothered, like it had never been anything but a joke.
“I’ll be right here, mate,” Sirius said, and this time, his tone was softer. “No one’s taking me away.”
James didn’t know whether that made him feel better or worse.
But for now, he couldn’t help the nagging feeling in the back of his mind that he had some sort of claim on Sirius—something he couldn’t shake. And he wasn’t sure if that was a good thing or a bad thing. But he was going to find out.
The next few days were a blur of conflicting emotions for James Potter. He couldn’t shake the feeling of being an outsider in his own friendship. Every time he glanced at Sirius, his stomach twisted. Every time he saw Sirius laughing with Remus or joking with Peter, there was that same, gnawing sensation in his gut.
It was stupid, really. He’d known Sirius for years—hell, they’d been through so much together, fought side by side, gotten in trouble together. He should have trusted that nothing could tear them apart. But the more he saw of Sirius with them, the more it felt like Sirius was slipping through his fingers, becoming someone else’s and not his.
It didn’t help that Sirius, while outwardly carefree and unaffected, seemed completely oblivious to how his actions were making James feel. Or maybe he wasn’t oblivious. Maybe he just didn’t care.
That thought stung. It shouldn’t, but it did. James had never felt insecure before—except, it seemed, when it came to Sirius.
***
It came to a head on a chilly Thursday evening. The four Marauders had spent the afternoon in the library, working on homework (or, more accurately, goofing off under the guise of studying). James had been half-paying attention to the conversation when he’d overheard something that stopped him dead in his tracks.
“I don’t know what it is, Moony,” Sirius said, his voice low, almost a whisper. James had been walking past the table, about to sit down with Peter, when the words reached him. “I just... I feel like James is pulling away. I don’t know what I’ve done, but I feel like he’s mad at me.”
James froze. He didn’t even realize he’d been holding his breath until his chest felt like it was about to explode. He turned slowly, trying to look casual, like he hadn’t just been eavesdropping on the conversation. But Sirius’s voice had caught him—had pierced him—and now he couldn’t unhear it.
“James?” Remus asked softly, looking up from his book. He must have noticed James’s stiff posture. “Are you alright?”
James quickly recovered, forcing a smile. “Yeah, just tired. Sorry, didn’t mean to interrupt.” He gestured toward the table. “I’ll sit over there.”
But before he could walk away, he caught the look on Sirius’s face. It wasn’t a playful smirk or a sarcastic grin. It was something softer, more vulnerable—a look James had never seen on Sirius before. It made his chest tighten in a way he didn’t understand.
“Prongs,” Sirius called after him, voice quiet but earnest. “You... you haven’t been yourself lately. What’s going on? Why are you avoiding me?”
James opened his mouth to brush it off, but the words didn’t come. Instead, he felt that familiar heat rising to his cheeks. He was caught, and worse, he didn’t know how to explain what he was feeling.
“You really want to know?” James finally said, his voice gruff. He turned back toward Sirius and didn’t care that the whole library had gone quiet. “I feel like you’ve been spending all this time with everyone else—Remus, Peter, even bloody Lily—and you haven’t looked at me once. Like... like I’m not even here. And I can’t help but feel like... like you don’t need me anymore.” The words rushed out in a tangled mess, but they felt like they were suffocating him. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with that, Pads.”
Sirius blinked, stunned into silence. For a long moment, he didn’t move, didn’t even seem to breathe. Remus was watching the exchange intently, his brow furrowed, but he remained quiet.
Then, Sirius stood slowly. There was something in his eyes now—something so intense that it felt like it could burn James alive.
“James,” Sirius said softly, his voice a little rough. “Are you serious?”
James winced at the pun, but it was the way Sirius said it, so genuinely serious, that made his chest ache. “What are you saying?”
Sirius stepped closer, lowering his voice even further, though they were the only two standing. “I thought you knew,” he said, his eyes searching James’s, as if trying to read him. “But maybe I’ve been an idiot, too.”
James didn’t know what to do with that, and he shifted uncomfortably on his feet. “An idiot about what?”
Sirius reached out, his fingers brushing James’s arm, making the hairs on the back of James’s neck stand up. “I didn’t realize how you felt, mate. I didn’t see it. I thought... I thought you were just messing with me. But now I think I know.”
James frowned, completely lost. “What are you talking about? What’s going on, Sirius?”
Sirius took a breath, his gaze flickering between James’s eyes and his lips. “I like you, James,” he said quietly, but there was no mistaking the weight behind his words. “I’ve always liked you.”
James felt like the room had tilted sideways. His mind short-circuited as he stared at Sirius, his chest tightening painfully. The words didn’t make sense. Sirius—his best friend—liked him? Liked him how?
“W-what?” James stammered. “What do you mean? Like… like how?”
Sirius smiled, but it wasn’t his usual cocky grin. It was softer, almost vulnerable. “Like I’m in love with you, Prongs. I’ve been trying to work out how to tell you for ages, but you’ve been so... distant lately that I didn’t know what to do. I thought maybe you’d pick up on it, but...” He shook his head. “I’m an idiot.”
James’s heart was pounding in his chest now, and all he could do was blink at Sirius, utterly dumbstruck. “You’re—wait—you like me?” The words felt foreign on his tongue, and it took him a second to even process what was happening.
Sirius’s expression faltered just slightly, but he didn’t break eye contact. “Yes, James. I like you. I’ve liked you for a long time. And maybe I’ve been a bloody fool for not saying it sooner. But if you’re still—”
He was cut off by James suddenly grabbing his shirt and pulling him closer, before their lips collided in a messy, startled kiss.
It was short. It was sloppy. But it was real. And when they pulled apart, panting slightly, James couldn’t quite suppress the smile on his face.
“James?” Sirius asked, a little breathless, but his voice was teasing, light, like they were both in on the joke now.
“Shut up,” James muttered, grinning. “You’re bloody lucky I’m not hexing you for not telling me sooner, Black.”
Sirius chuckled, his arms wrapping around James’s waist, pulling him in tighter. “Yeah? Lucky, huh?” His lips brushed James’s forehead, and there was no mistaking the warmth and affection in his gaze. “Well, I guess we’ve both been idiots.”
James leaned into the embrace, feeling a rush of relief wash over him, even as his heart still hammered in his chest. “Yeah,” he said softly, the words filled with an emotion he couldn’t quite name. “But you’re my idiot, Pads.”
Sirius grinned, his hand gently tilting James’s chin so that their foreheads were pressed together. “And you’re mine, Prongs.”
And for the first time in a long while, James didn’t feel like he was fighting for something that was slipping away. He felt like he was exactly where he was supposed to be.
With Sirius. And this time, there was no need to fight for him.
Because Sirius was already his.