SIRIUS
I woke up to my phone buzzing with an incoming text next to my ear. I groaned and rolled to my side, checking the time on my alarm clock. I had slept in a couple of hours so James was already at work and I didn’t particularly need to work.
My Uncle Alphard had left me all of his money in his will, and a couple of years after I ran away, he died, passing it all to me — and it was a lot. Our family was always a wealthy one, very proper and annoying. Uncle Alphard was the only person in my family that really understood me and really appreciated my worth. When I told him my plan of running away, he was supportive and even helped James and me figure out flight plans and what time to leave.
There were days when all I could think about was Uncle Alphard. He was the only one in my family who liked my rough-around-the-edges-ness, my long hair, my friends. He was nothing like my parents.
You must sit up straight, Sirius. Straighten your hair, Sirius. Cut your hair, Sirius. Stop going around with that Potter boy, Sirius, he’s poisoning your mind.
Every hour of every day, my mother and father were constantly reminding me of how much I disappointed them because I wasn’t as proper as Regulus. Sure, I was going out of my way to annoy them and look improper but they were keeping me in a box and I couldn’t breathe anymore. It felt like I was drowning in France. Meeting James was like taking my first breath of fresh air. He was the only person, other than Uncle Alphard, who extended his hand to pull me out of the water and offer me a life vest.
The first time I brought James home, my mother threw him out because his hair was too curly and too dirty and because he was wearing a t-shirt and shorts which, as always, is improper.
I sighed heavily and rubbed my eyes. Thinking about my family first thing in the morning was never a good sign for the rest of the day. I picked up my phone and scrolled through my notifications. Most of them were James telling me about people on the train or pictures from his commute, some were from Remus, but there was one from an unknown number. I read the contents and the world stopped. Time stopped moving, the people on the sidewalk below me stopped walking, cars stopped honking, it was just me and the text from my brother.
I read the text over and over, while I was getting changed, while I was making and eating breakfast, while I was going out for a walk, it was all I could think about.
I made my way to the park and sat on the same bench I had called Remus from. My fingers hovered over the keyboard, my mind grasping desperately for something to say. Was I supposed to thank him? Or should I be more concerned? How did he even get my number? I didn’t have any texts from James about Regulus so I was properly freaking out.
REGULUS!!!
I deleted the message. Way too bright.
Regulus! I’m so glad to hear from you —
I deleted the message again. It sounded like I was replying to an email.
Can we meet up?
It was exactly what I wanted but would Regulus want that? My thumb hung in the air above the send button. I looked up and stared at the fountain not too far away, thinking about how much Regulus would probably love that fountain. I shook my head and swiped out of the app without pressing send. Instead, I called Remus. After a couple of rings, he picked up.
“Bonjour, Sirius! I hope you slept well but before you start talking I must let you know that I’ve reached a 25-day streak on Duolingo today for French!” he laughed.
“Bonjour, Rem,” I smiled despite my mind running wild with thoughts of Regulus. “C’est vraiment génial, je suis tellement fier de toi. Peut-être qu'un jour tu parleras couramment!”
“Okay, Sirius, I said 25-day streak, not 19-year streak. I have no idea what you said.”
“I just said that I’m proud of you and maybe one day you can speak fluently.”
“Oh sure, sure, I will be fluent by tomorrow,” he laughed. “Anyway, what’s up? You don’t usually call at this time.”
“Regulus texted me this morning,” I said quickly, as if saying it as quickly as possible would somehow resolve the whole thing.
“Oh.” Remus paused. “Did you respond?”
“No fucking way. I don’t even know what to say. You know what he said?” I put on a deep, monotone voice. “Sirius. It’s Regulus. I’m okay.” I dropped the voice. “What the fuck is that?!” I continued. “That’s all he has to say after six years?!” Remus paused for a couple of seconds before answering.
“Well, maybe he doesn’t know what to say. Just like you don’t. It’s been six years since you’ve talked, he was probably so scared to text that.” I was about to respond but I heard someone calling his name in the background of the call. “Listen, Sirius, I’ve gotta go okay? I’m still at work and we have a massive deadline coming up in a couple of days so it’s super hectic here right now. I’ll call you when I get out, yeah? Maybe we can get some coffee.”
“Yeah,” I nodded. “Sure. See you then.” I hung up and immediately went back to my unsent message.
Can we meet up?
I re-read my unsent message a couple of times and pressed send, watching the text turn blue and shoot out into space and onto Regulus’s phone.