Chapter 5 - Feelings
Chapter 5 - Feelings
Harry Potter stood at Kings Cross station and waited patiently for his children, who were due to get off the train at any moment.
Harry folded his hands nervously. In the summer he had had the feeling that Albus was slipping away from him more and more. He wanted to do something about it, but he didn't quite know what.
The only thing that was going through his head was that he would spend the winter holidays completely concentrating on Albus and giving him his attention. He had already spoken to Ginny about it, and she completely agreed. It would be the best thing.
He could already see James, who was just saying goodbye to his friends. Lily was jumping around, smiling broadly and pulling a few of her friends into a hug.
And then he saw Albus coming off the train.
He nervously reached for his wife's hand, who was now also paying attention to Albus. He was walking next to Scorpius Malfoy and the two were engaged in a conversation.
Then it looked like the two were saying goodbye to each other. A slight smile was visible on both of their faces before they went their separate ways.
Harry's heart was racing with nervousness and he felt somehow betrayed.
Albus had told him that he and Scorpius had nothing to do with each other, hadn't he? So why were the two walking next to each other and talking as if they were friends and trusted each other?
Maybe Harry was just reading too much into it.
Maybe the two were just talking about school things.
Maybe.
Ginny kissed all three of her children on the cheek when the teenagers finally reached the two adults.
-
Albus had felt exactly how his father had looked at him. That scum in his eyes, that disgust. It had been so predictable.
Ginny looked at him, with a loving smile on her face. "We wanted to go to a cafe in Diagon Alley before we go home," Ginny explained to the group and Harry nodded in agreement.
"Okay," Lily replied and linked arms with Albus and James. Albus and James exchanged a confused expression but then just dismissed it.
The family didn't speak much on the way to the cafe, but it wasn't an uncomfortable silence either. Well, except for Albus.
He felt like he was going to suffocate at any moment. He was just waiting for Harry to protest and for Harrys speak.
The cafe was filled with a calm atmosphere and the Potters weren't the only family who came to the cafe because the holidays were starting.
It smelled strongly of cinnamon and candles were scattered everywhere, magically floating around in the air. Ginny took a deep breath of the air before taking off her jacket and hanging it over one of the armchairs.
Lily moved quickly and took the left chair next to Ginny. Albus looked around the room unmotivated before moving and sitting next to Lily. Harry had James engaged in a conversation and while he was doing so, Harry sat down next to his wife and James sat next to Harry so as not to interrupt the conversation.
Albus was concentrating on Scorpius, whom he had just spotted at the other end of the room.
He looked so beautiful with the candles lighting him up and the smile on his face as he spoke to his grandmother.
"Who are you staring at, darling?" Ginny asked curiously, leaning towards him a little before turning around to find out who he was looking at. But there were so many students and families that Ginny wasn't sure.
With a grin, she turned back to Albus, who suddenly turned completely red in the face. He was hot and picked up the napkin to play with it. Maybe that would ease his nervousness.
"Uhhh, is our Albus in love?" James spoke now, and he had a big grin on his face.
Albus caught his father's eye. He had a gentle smile on his face. "And," he began, leaning his arms against the table.
"What's her name?"
Albus' heart sank. He felt nauseous, his hands were shaking a little now and Ginny noticed this. She gently put her hand on his and held it. She squeezed for a moment.
"Harry, darling," Ginny said a little more seriously now and glanced at her husband. "Please let's not forget that it could be a boy," Albus obviously tensed up, and immediately Ginny squeezed his hand again.
James and Lily watched Albus carefully and their heads visibly began to rattle.
Harry's eyes grew wider and he cleared his throat. Then he put his right hand on Albus' left hand, which was not being taken by Ginny.
"Oh yes, sure," said Harry. "So, what's her or his name?"
Albus pulled away from his parents' grasp. His hands were getting sweatier and his heart was starting to race uncomfortably. He wasn't in love with Scorpius, was he?
"I'm not in love," Albus clarified, and his voice was so firm and serious that Ginny almost believed him.
"Okay, that's fine too," Harry replied, giving him a quick smile. Albus wasn't sure if his father was serious about his smile.
At least he hoped so.
Albus allowed himself a quick glance at Scorpius, who was now talking to his father. Albus felt that he was being stared at and looked for the culprit.
He met the gaze of Zabini and Nott, who were looking at him with raised eyebrows. Albus swallowed. They both saw exactly how he had stared at Scorpius. Shit.
He looked at the two of them with a serious look before turning back to his family.
》♡《
Days passed, hours passed. And yet the thought of being in love never escaped Albus's mind.
It would soon be Christmas, and then he would be sitting with his whole family again. So he had no choice but to finally get rid of this thought and concentrate on his surroundings.
Most of the time, Albus stayed alone in his room until Ginny had had enough and was at her wits' end.
There was a knock on the door while Albus was lying in his bed, moving his wand back and forth in his fingers.
Ginny slowly entered the room. "Hey, darling," she began, turning to the door to close it again. Then she moved to the bed and frowned before touching the blanket with her fingers. Then she looked up and her gaze flew to the window.
"Have you aired the room at all in the last few days?" Ginny kept her voice gentle as she magically opened the window. A cold draft came through the room, but that was still better than the smell itself.
"What do you want?" Albus asked, grimacing when he smelled the smell for the first time. Okay, yes, that was disgusting. Why had he let himself go like that over the last few days? - Okay, why was he even still asking himself that? In the last few days, his head had had no room for any other thoughts than the thought of being in love.
"I want to talk to you. Something is bothering you. Tell me," Ginny explained gently and sat down on the bed. She looked at Albus intently.
Albus sighed loudly and chewed on the inside of his cheek.
"How do you know if you're in love?"
Albus' hands were shaking, so he hid them under his green blanket. He felt uncomfortable under Ginny's gaze, even though it was so loving and non-judgmental.
"Darling," Ginny began, putting her hand on Albus' knee. She moved her thumb slightly. "Believe me when I say that you'll definitely notice. You'll love the person no matter what they do. Even if it's something bad: your feelings won't go away immediately. And maybe they're the most important person in your life for you."
She almost whispered, and Albus didn't want to believe it. He felt the same way about Scorpius. That couldn't be true.
His heart was pounding in his throat and he was starting to have trouble breathing.
"Hey," Ginny looked at him gently, but concern was in her eyes and wouldn't disappear anytime soon. "It's okay if it's a boy."
Albus' eyes flew to Ginny in one second. His expression hardened.
He was scared, so his first reaction was anger.
"Why are you so sure that I like a boy?" he snapped, regretting it the next second. Ginny just wanted to help him and be there for him, but his feelings just wouldn't allow that.
Ginny's eyes widened for a moment, Albus swallowed. "I'm sorry, Mum. I didn't mean to," Albus whispered, his gaze dropping to the floor as Ginny wrapped an arm around him.
"It's okay. I'm here if you want to talk," she added before standing up and leaving the room. She glanced at Albus one more time before closing the door.
》♡ 《
As the voices in the living room grew louder, Albus slowly moved down the stairs. He finally had to face his family, he couldn't just hang around in his room all the time.
Downstairs he immediately noticed Ted, who was hugging Harry with a broad grin. Ted recognized Albus in less than a second, broke away from Harry and walked towards Albus. "Hey, Albus!" He smiled and hugged him, Albus let him. Even though he didn't like hugs.
"Merry Christmas!" Ted said with a smile and Albus nodded. "Merry Christmas," he whispered and smiled a little before nervously turning his gaze to his father.
Harry hadn't brought up the Malfoy topic yet and that worried Albus a lot.
Harry glanced at Albus, then walked over to Molly and Arthur.
Albus' shoulders slumped in the same second. He had disappointed his father and that was the last thing he wanted.
"Is everything okay?" Ted asked and wanted to put an arm around Albus' shoulders, but Albus leaned away. "It's all okay. I just have to go to James and Lily," Albus began to tell her, and then he looked for his siblings, whom he found right away. Sighing, he made his way to them.
He hoped that this day would be over as quickly as possible.
-
The family laughed and played games together. Albus was forced to sit next to Rose.
"Why aren't you two talking?" Ron interrupted the pleasant atmosphere and Albus winced inwardly.
"Oh, that's no problem. Just a small difference of opinion on a certain topic," Rose looked at Albus and had a serious expression on her face.
Albus sighed and folded his arms. "It's not my fault that you think that some things are okay or that I'm definitely in favor of switching to the other side," Albus replied, speaking the last words quietly to Rose. He didn't want to start a discussion in the family if they found out.
"Okay, okay. We should talk about something else!" Lily, who knew everything inside out, intervened.
"Ron asked," said Rose, leaning back on the sofa. Lily nodded hesitantly. "Yes, but still. Some things can wait to be discussed. Especially when others are present," said Lily sternly. She didn't want Albus to be put in the spotlight. She knew full well that this would only make things worse for Albus, and she was his sister: it was her duty to protect and defend Albus.
Even if she hadn't done it a few weeks ago.
But she regretted it. Extremely.
The adults were all quiet, not quite understanding what was going on. George gestured to the teenagers and then to the other adults, and mumbled something with his mouth.
At this, Hermione shook her head.
The further the conversation went, the more Albus' heart started racing and he became more and more agitated.
"Hey, I didn't start-" Rose was interrupted when Albus stood up abruptly, drawing everyone's attention to him. He glanced at everyone very briefly before walking to the front door and slamming it.
Outside, he took a deep breath. He watched the starry sky for a moment before sitting down on the patio. There, he rested his chin on his knees and wrapped his arms around his legs.
He wished so much that Scorpius was here right now.
Even more nervous than before, Albus swallowed the thought. Wrong time.
Albus was illuminated by the stars before he saw an owl flying toward him.
He furrowed his brow. Could that be-?
The owl dropped a letter in front of him, then flew up to the roof.
With shaking hands, Albus picked up the letter. It had no seal on the top.
His heart was in his throat as he remembered how he had asked Scorpius to write to him if anything happened. Nervous as hell, he slowly opened the letter.
Hey, Al.
I just wanted to write to you that my family wasn't very happy when they saw me get off the train with you.
I'm assuming you're not feeling any better.
But yes, I'm curious to see if the no-seal thing worked.
I ask you not to write to me. My grandpa is a bit stricter than your family when it comes to letters. He would intercept it immediately.
I hope you have a nice holiday and vacation. I hope you're doing well.
Your best friend,
Scorp.
Albus grinned and his stomach started to tingle when he read the nickname: Al.
Only Scorpius could have thought of that. Albus had forbidden his family to call him that. And Scorpius knew that. But it was so clear that Scorpius himself wouldn't stick to it.
And somehow, it made Albus happy.