Summer was coming to an end, but Hogwarts was still burning under the August sun. It was a warmth that seemed to flood everything with a bitter promise. *There is no eternal summer,* Regulus thought as he looked at the golden reflection of the lake under the last light of the day. But he was determined to savor every second left to him, every stolen whisper, every suppressed laugh. For a brief moment, he had James Potter. His, and only his. And it was so unreal, it hurt.
Regulus and James had never gotten along, and anyone who saw them knew it; they had never been close. James Potter was the bold Gryffindor, the golden boy who faced the world head-on, and Regulus Black was the shadow that followed his family's ideals, even when he felt there were no aspirations worth following. The first time they shared a real conversation, they were both alone on the Quidditch field after practice. James was hitting the Bludgers as if trying to rid himself of an uncontrollable anger, as if it were the only thing that could calm him. Regulus knew that look of pain well; he had seen it hundreds of times.
“Do you want to tell me what's wrong?” Regulus asked, barely conscious of actually saying those words out loud.
James looked at him, surprised to see him there. It was the first time someone dared to approach him in one of his “moments.” Everyone knew that, though James was kind to everyone around him, there was always a fierceness in his eyes that made others keep their distance when he got like that.
“None of your business, Black,” James replied, with a brusque tone, harsher than he’d intended. But then he looked at Regulus again and saw something that made him soften. Perhaps it was the loneliness they shared in that moment, or the melancholy they both felt but would never admit.
That was the first of many nights. Little by little, awkward conversations turned into secret encounters, and secret encounters became caresses, whispers, and promises they would never dare say out loud.
The August nights became their refuge. In the Astronomy Tower, hidden from everyone, James and Regulus looked at each other as if they were the only truth in the universe. James was a fire that burned in every touch, in every hurried kiss, and Regulus, like kindling, feared he would crumble, completely lost in the glow that James radiated. They shared their fears and desires in whispers, but there was a void that even the heat of August couldn’t fill.
One night, as they both lay on the stone floor, Regulus dared to ask:
“Do you still think about her?”
James fell silent. He looked up at the starry sky, as if he could find an answer there.
“She'll always be a part of me, Reg,” he admitted sincerely. “I don’t want that to hurt you.”
Regulus knew what that meant: he was an escape, something temporary. But part of him also hoped that, in the end, James would realize that there was something between them that could last. So he nodded, keeping to himself the words he would never dare say.
Lily's return at the end of the summer changed everything. Regulus felt it the moment James encountered her in the Great Hall. He watched from a distance as James smiled nervously and Lily returned his look with something bittersweet. Regulus felt his heart sink.
The next night, James didn’t show up at the Astronomy Tower.
The days that followed were a storm of emotions for Regulus. He tried to convince himself that he didn’t care, that he could move on, that he was enough for himself, that he didn’t mind being a second choice, a backup again. But every time he saw James and Lily together, every shared laugh, every innocent touch, crushed him a little more, only reinforcing what his family always said about him.
Finally, one night when he could no longer bear it, Regulus went looking for James in the Gryffindor Common Room. No one else was awake. In a soft whisper, he called him to the door, and James, surprised, came to meet him.
“Why did you stop coming?” Regulus asked bluntly, looking him in the eye.
James hesitated, then sighed and lowered his gaze.
“Reg, I thought maybe… I thought maybe it was better this way. I don’t want to hurt you more than I already have.”
Regulus pressed his lips together, feeling a wave of frustration and sadness.
“Hurt me?” he said with a bitter smile. “Why don’t you at least give me the chance to decide that for myself?”
James seemed trapped, torn between his own feelings. But in the end, he took Regulus’s hand and led him to a secluded corner, away from curious eyes. There, in the dim light, he hugged him, and for a moment, Regulus felt all his pain fade.
“You’re important to me,” James whispered. “But Lily… she and I have something I can’t ignore.”
Regulus closed his eyes, wanting to freeze that moment. He wanted those words to be enough, for the touch of his lips and the warmth of his hands to fill that emptiness. But he knew it wasn’t.
As the school year progressed, James and Regulus drifted apart. James was drawn back to Lily, and Regulus, though heartbroken, tried to find solace in his own world. One December night, James sought out Regulus for the last time.
“I didn’t want to leave you like this,” he said, his eyes filled with regret. “I want you to know that… what we had will always matter to me.”
Regulus nodded, but he couldn’t hide the pain he felt. They looked at each other in silence, and Regulus knew this was the end. Without another word, he walked away, heartbroken but determined not to look back.
Years later, on a quiet night as he entered the cave, Regulus remembered that summer, those warm nights under the stars and the shared secrets. He knew he would always carry that August in his soul, that he would always remember James as the love that never could be.
And though it was painful, it was also beautiful. Because in that brief summer, he felt truly alive, more than he ever had, and he could die feeling that radiant sensation as he saw the sun.