"I dream in phosporescence"
Saoirse groaned as she picked her head off of the pillow. She looked down at the grey and pink sheets, remembering how her mother had spent her entire weeks salary on the sheets alone when Saoirse could no longer sleep in the small bed they had gotten her as a three-year-old. She held her head as she sat up, a migraine running rampant as she slowly moved the covers off of her and slipped out of the bed. The floor boards of Spinners End were cold, as they always were. Saoirse ignored her bedside table, were she knew a journal sat that detailed her life up until that point in time.
Saoirse walked towards the door, making sure to undo the lock on the door that stopped her father from breaking in during the night. By that point in time, he had already learned of his daughters weird witchiness and was convinced she would take after her mother.
"Saoirse! Get down here you brat!" Speaking of the man. Saoirse didn't want to go down the steps. "Girl! Get down here or I swear I'll throw you out naked" Tobias shouted as he rummaged through the kitchen, most likely trying to find booze. Saoirse started towards the stairs, her legs shaking and the hair on her arms standing on edge. She knew what was going to happen when she walked down the stairs, her father would confirm he had lost his job at the mill and that her mother now needed to get another job to support them while she did meaningless tasks around the neighborhood to gain a little spare money.
"Girl, why haven't you started breakfast? After last nights failure of a dinner, I figured you would have been up bright and early to fix me something good!" Tobias spoke at the child who stood terrified in the doorway. It was slowly coming back to her, reminding her that she had burnt the food by accident and had almost dropped it all when she had moved it to the table. Curse tiny child shortness, I feel like the Longbottoms Saoirse thought to herself.
"I'm sorry sir, I meant to get up earlier but I hadn't been feeling well. I didn't- eek!" Saoirse spoke quietly, ducking with a squeak as a pan was thrown past her head. She quickly moved backwards and towards the wall as Tobias stomped towards her. Where are you Eileen? Just once, be a good mother! Saoirse thought to herself as she covered her face from whatever Tobias was going to do. Saoirse tried her best with her father, she had always tried. She fell unconscious in her fear, trying her best not to cry like the child her physical body was.
However, it was a known fact, Tobias Snape hated his only child. He hated her whole being, the fact she looked like Eileen. Her little chubby cheeks which made no sense for a child with malnutrition, that went red as roses whenever she was embarrassed or angry. Her hair, as black as Tobias' heart and as compassionate as a rock. Her black eyes that pulled people in like the sea, which seemed to call home to every dark thing in life. Her pale skin, so different from his own somehow tanned build. She was already tall for a child her age, being at his elbow already where her mother stood at his shoulder. There was no presence of love in the Snape household. There was only hatred and greed.
Eileen was greedy. Saoirse knew this about her mother. Her own black hair was always up in a bun, greasy and covered in dust while her eyes seemed to hide all the secrets in the world. Her eyebrows were large and bushy, unlike her daughters which were thin and slightly bushy. The woman was thin, with a little pudge she had never been able to get rid of after carrying her daughter for "nine torturous months". Eileen always reminded Saoirse that those nine months had been the worst ones of her life, from learning of her pregnancy to marrying Tobias and losing her inheritance and then giving birth alone without anyone as Tobias said she didn't need midwifes.
Eileen was greedy in the sense that she thought her daughter could somehow, someway, save her reputation when she would go to school. SHe had taught her daughter all she could when her mind was clear, which was very few times a year or whenever the shipment of booze was late.
Eileen and Tobias hated each other. Eileen hated Tobias for destroying her life and getting her laid with a child she had never wanted. Tobias hated Eileen for destroying his reputation in his hometown to the point they had to move across the country.
Saoirse hated them both. Hated them for not just killing her when they found out. For marrying even though they hated each other. For not drowning her when she was born. For not abandoning her, for forcing her to remain in this place she had to call hell for years and years. Saoirse hated them, because she couldn't stop loving them. Loving them for not doing anything to her as a vulnerable baby. She loved them even though her entire being and psyche told her to hate them. Told her to want them dead, to wish that they would just die and force her to be by herself for the rest of her life.
Saoirse awoke hours later, the house was dark and the kitchen light was off. Tobias was knocked out on the couch, beer bottles spread around him like there was nothing else to drink. She could hear the light snoring of her mother upstairs, meaning she was also wasted. Saoirse did not try to wake either of them, instead grabbing something small as she headed up to her room. Saoirse walked carefully, avoiding the creaks in the floorboards as she crept up the stairs. She paused occasionally, making sure both adults were still out cold before continuing. Her brain had gone back to survival mode during her unconscious state, making sure she was always in fight or flight mode. When she finally arrived outside her room, she walked past it and towards the cupboard were Tobias had stored Eileen's trunks from her years at Hogwarts. She carefully undid the latch, catching the trunk that had almost fallen on top of her. She put it on the floor, carefully opening it to reveal her mothers wand, just like it had before. She grabbed out the wand, tested it in her hand and then stuffed it into her mouth. She closed the trunk and grabbed out the other one, casting Diminuendo to shrink the trunks before putting the smaller one back inside and locking it once more. She checked to make sure no one was up as she hurriedly went back to her room and shut the door. She checked once more as she locked her door. She backed away from the door, scared it would suddenly open to reveal her father trying to kill her.
She barely relaxed as the night continued on, only in the wee hours of the night did the girl finally enlarge her trunk to get the books she needed. She learned of Magical Law, making sure to focus on Emancipation and when she could possibly ask the Headmaster for safety at Hogwarts from her parents. She also made sure to look at the minimal section they had on magical creatures. She wanted to see if there was anything she could do to perhaps prevent the prank from ever happening or if it did, from affecting her so much. She felt vulnerable after the prank, constantly looking over her shoulders to make sure Black or Potter weren't to sneak up behind her to try and drag her back. When they had finally graduated and she was free of them, Saoirse remembered the quick sigh of relief before she had delved into her mastery along with her work with him.
Saoirse stayed up late, thinking of her old life with only the light of her mothers faulty wand to guide her. It reminded her of those few good Slytherins, like Barty and Regulus, who had gotten her through her years at Hogwarts. She remembered standing next to Barty and Evan, both had been Regulus's best friends but neither had been as close to him as Saoirse. None had understood their friendship, but there was no doubting that if they had gotten together they would have been a power couple. Even if Regulus did swing for the other team and Saoirse would never date Regulus.
She remembered being there for him in his second year, when Sirius had left for the first time in the summer and the weight of his family weighed heavily upon him. When Sirius had left the house for good one rough Yule season, after a harsh 'lesson' from their extremely less than stellar mother. When his grandfather, Arcturus, had passed away of a sudden and horrible illness none of the mediwitches had detected in time. When his grandmother, stricken mad with grief, almost killed him for coming to check on her.
Yet, Regulus in his naivety, believed his brother had loved him. How he cried every few months, in pain and misery, for his brother to come back. To take him away from the hell he had left him in. Sirius would never learn though. Would never learn of the hell he had left his brother behind in, as Sirius was the Black Sheep and Regulus was their Golden Child. Regulus most likely even cried for his brother during his final moments, thought of him as he drifted off into Deaths oddly warm arms.
Saoirse hadn't realized that she had been sobbing until the faulty wand flickered out. She finally pulled herself out of her stupor just as the sun began to rise, making her jump out of bed before shrinking the book and trunk once more. She hid the pieces of her world in the drawer, behind her underwear and changed into her school uniform. She threw her hair into a rough braid, trying to make it seem not as greasy as usual and then grabbed her socks. Saoirse was efficient in making it down the stairs with little to no noise and getting into the kitchen.
Why can't magical children use magic again? Saoirse thought to herself as she looked upon the barren cabinets. She groaned lightly before taking out a bag of toast and just eating that, making sure her shoes were on the right feet as she did so and grabbed her bag, walking out the door with her mothers set of keys for the house.