It was nights like this that Eugene got into his head, cold bottle in his even colder hand, eyes burning holes into the same spot of the scratched up bar counter. He never moved from this seat when he entered, ordered bottle after bottle until he stumbled out of the bar and woke up in some back alleyway the next morning.
He'd be scolding you to death if he were still here.
Eugene's face scrunched together at the idea, bottom lip quivering as he fought against the burning sensation behind his eyes. Why couldn't he be here? Sharing a drink with him, mulling over past experiences. Yet instead here Eugene was, a pathetic mess of a man drowning himself in bottles on bottles of alcohol. He could remember similar times, when he was still stuck in his head about everything going on his life, and Severus would drag him out of the bar to his quarters in that big fancy school just to make sure he had a bed to sleep in.
He went out of his damn way to make sure he wasn't burning alive in the sun, if that wasn't dedication he sure as hell didn't know anything. The cold rim of the bottle he was holding graced his lips once more, Eugene grimaced at the taste of the burning liquid hitting his throat, letting out a heavy sigh. Now he sleeps outside, back at square one. Is this what he was like without him? A pathetic monster with no home? It ached his heart to think that's what Severus' death had reduced him to, an alcoholic, rabid animal.
"You ain't scared of me?" He had asked him once, when he seemed to be taking a closer look at the two holes in his neck, confusing the cowpoke even more than the Dark Arts classes he took back in Hogwarts. Severus looked at him as if he had shoved a gun in his face, screwing his brows together and frowning. "What a foolish question, you're about as harmful as a fly." He seemed so certain of that, returning back to staring at the two holes in his neck. He didn't see the way Eugene's eyes filled with tears and the way his bottom lip trembled, he only noticed hearing the quiet sob leave his throat.
The potions professor held him for what felt like forever as he sobbed pathetically in his arms, but he had never felt safer.
Eugene knew better though. He knew he wasn't what Severus truly loved, or what he longed for. He saw the way he looked at the Potter boy, a far-off look in his eye, longing almost. The kid reminded him of Lily, the only person he'll ever truly care for. Not him, never him. He told himself Eugene was the last person he was thinking of before he bled out on that cold floor, but he was lying. It was her, it always was. He gazed into her eyes one last time before he passed, and he was as happy as ever.
Eugene wondered if he was with her in the afterlife, acting like the sheepish little boy Eugene had met all those years ago. He loved him, even then, but he was kidding himself. The cowpoke was one of his only damn friends, at least the only person who cared enough to protect him. The least he could have done was loved him back.
Selfish. He wanted to be selfish for once, keep Severus all to himself. He couldn't even do that, not even a week after they had even became something he was ripped from his grasp. Was this world cruel enough to keep him from happiness? Seemed just as much.
Eugene lifted his head up, realizing he had accidentally dozed off. The bar was empty, leaving only him and the older woman behind the bar. She noisily cleaned a glass, the scrubbing of the material shook the sleep from his body. He huffed and finished off his drink, tossing way too much money onto the counter with a clatter and grabbing his hat. The cowboy wordlessly nodded to the woman, exiting the empty bar that had long closed. The nap he took had left him a little sluggish, it was the first time he had gotten a good amount of sleep in a while, which was saying quite a lot.
Not even he slept that little. Eugene remembered when they'd stay up late at night back in their former school years, Severus mulling over schoolwork and Eugene struggling to understand how to string a guitar he had snuck into the building. He used to play that guitar for him, taught him to play too. He still had the damn thing, collecting dust on the back of his horse.
The vampire lifted his head, searching for his horse at the post he had tied her to. Gone. The rope cut. A flash of panic flew through his body but it was quickly put to the side feeling strong hands push him to the ground. Eugene hit the dirt with a gasp, hat toppling off of his head. The strong hands that had thrown him to the ground flipped him onto his back, he struggled against them but was harshly picked up and slammed back down, knocking the wind out of his lungs. What did they want? His money? His horse? They already took her.
He learned quickly seeing the sharpened wood raised high above their head, barely visible in the faint light of the lamp a few feet away. As the stake plunged into his chest, he felt it rip through his shirt, bones, and straight into his heart. Eugene gasped, well, tried to. He couldn't breathe, and he could taste the rotten blood fill his throat and mouth. He clenched his teeth, now stained red. It hurt. So much.
He was going to die. Again. He would chuckle at that had there not been a piece of wood in his chest.
"You're staring."
"Mhm." Eugene leaned his cheek onto the palm of his hand, a stupid grin on his face as he stared at the man before him, who scribbled on tests with a large black quill. Snape stopped, glaring at the man on the opposite side of his desk. Eugene waggled his brows, grin growing. "Do you need something?" Severus asked, placing his quill back into the ink pot to properly look at the cowboy before him.
"Can't I admire? So cutthroat, Darlin'." Eugene teased, watching a faint blush dust the potion professor's face, feigning annoyance as he looked away. Eugene released a hearty cackle, rising to his feat and rounding the desk. Snape turned in his chair, staring up at Eugene as he stood before him. The cowboy slipped into his lap, throwing his legs over one arm of the chair and letting his back lean against the other.
Normally, Severus would be panicking, unsure of where to put his hands; but this was normal, he placed his hands over Eugene's legs, giving him a knowing look. A kiss, or two, or three. Eugene savored moments like these, even if he knew in the back of his head his feelings weren't as matched, he ignored it by loving with all of his heart.
All of his heart.
Tears clouded Eugene's vision, hoping for all of this to be a bad dream and that he'd wake up in Snape's arms again. But as the edges of his vision began going dark, he knew better. He always wondered if there was an afterlife for him, for monsters. He doubted it, but he hoped it would be peaceful, in comparison to this dumpster fire of a life he had already.
Eugene's head fell back, the air escaping his body in a deathly breath, allowing him to finally die one last time.
All he saw was him.