“Barty he’s dead. Mr Black is dead”
I hear in my head.
“Shut up!” I hear someone scream.
No. It’s me.
I’m screaming.
I hear distant voices and urgent footsteps.
I hear someone yelling but it’s muffled and I can’t make it out.
My ears have this high-pitched constant beep in them.
“Barty!” Someone shouts.
It sounds familiar yet strange.
I look up and see people staring at me.
Someone touches my face and wipes something off my face.
Tears.
I’m crying.
Why am I crying?
“Barty, can you hear me?” Someone asks.
The familiar voice again.
“Breathe Barty, just breathe” The voice says softly in my ear as I feel someone right beside me.
I look at the person but don’t recognise the features.
Everything’s blurry.
It’s all a mess
I breathe in
15..
14..
13..
12..
11..
“He’s dead”
A sob leaves from my lips again.
I hold my breath
10..
9..
8..
7..
6..
“He wouldn’t want you to die for him” The voice next to me says.
And I breathe out
5..
4..
3..
2..
1..
It isn’t helping.
I can’t breathe.
I hear people talking but can’t understand the words.
When I look up, I can’t recognise their faces.
“Regulus” I mumble as my eyes starts to feel heavy.
Someone grabs my shoulder and shakes me.
My eyes open.
“Barty stay awake!” the person says loudly to me.
I feel my head getting lighter, like everything is lifted off.
I feel someone grab my arms and clean them from something.
Regulus.
He’s dead.
I’m starting to remember what I did.
I look down at my arms, my vision blurry from the tears.
There's red everywhere.
Oh.
I have relapsed.
After I promised Evan not to.
Someone is trying to stop the bleeding, but I don’t think it’s stopping.
I close my eyes and let the darkness fill my head.
“Barty! No! Don’t you dare bleed out!” I hear someone shout.
I try to open my eyes but I can’t.
I can’t focus on their voices and they fade out.
I can’t feel my body.
I try to move my hand but it doesn’t.
Wait.
Am I dying?
Have I killed myself?
I’m sorry.
Goodbye.