Two.
Two.
November 12th, 1977.𖥔˖ִ ࣪𖤐
It was early morning. Regulus was tired. He had barely slept a wink the previous night, he couldn’t remember much. He remembered crying after an argument with his mother. And, Bellatrix, being the nosy bitch she was, just had to get involved.
“What are you doing up, Regulus?” His mother had questioned,
“Reading.” He had mumbled, not wanting anyone to overhear their conversation.
“Hang on a moment, when I asked you, you said you were doing nothing.” A wry smirk curled at the corners of Bellatrix’s lips, she knew what she was doing. She just wanted to see Regulus get in trouble, as usual.
“Yeah, because I wasn’t doing anything then--“
“If I didn’t know any better, I’d think you were lying. You know what happens to liars, don’t you? They go to hell.” Bellatrix’s taunting voice made Regulus’ blood boil, he couldn’t hold back from lashing out,
“I said I was doing anything then!” He had gotten so angry, it felt like he was another person entirely.
“Regulus! How dare you raise your voice?!” His mother’s stern, cold voice sent chills down his spine. It made him feel small, he wanted to shrink into the covers and hide away.
“I’m sorry, I--“
“Hand over the book.” His mother’s hand was outstretched, there was no room for argument, but Regulus wasn’t backing down,
“What?” He scoffs, disbelief lacing his tone. He wasn’t going to let her win, not this time.
Yet, this was Walburga Black we were talking about; she always got her way, even if she had to use force..
The memory was still fresh in Regulus’ mind, only fuelling his inner turmoil. He couldn’t write now, not that he was good at it, but writing gave him something to do. Something to pass the time, where he didn’t have to worry if his parents would approve because this was only for him.
He had considered going out again today, a walk would be nice. After much contemplation, he gets ready and heads out. He wasn’t sure where exactly he’d like to go, probably walk around for a bit to clear his head.
It felt nice going out, he wouldn’t admit it to anyone - or himself, for that matter - but he liked talking, enjoyed talking to people, but he always got so shit faced and nervous whenever faced with the prospect of holding a conversation. His mind would go blank and his throat dry. He wasn’t like Sirius; who could lure anyone in with his charm, or like James; who was a sweetheart when he wanted to be.
No, Regulus was none of those things. He was an ungrateful fucker who would shut out everyone that loved and mattered to him when things got hard. That’s who Regulus was.
It was a habit he hated himself for, one that ruined everything, then and now. But he couldn’t let anyone see him at his worst, see how fucked up and shitty he is.
He had Barty, sure. Barty was batshit crazy but would kill for the ones he loved. Regulus couldn’t kill for anyone, he was too cowardly. He could love someone to death and yet, he wouldn’t bring death upon another for them.
Sigh. Regulus didn’t know what he was, what he wanted to be, and he wasn’t sure he ever would. James wanted to be a quidditch star, and this wasn’t because Regulus was studying his likes and dislikes, no - ! Of course not. This was only because James told it to anyone and everyone who cared to listen, it was hard to miss. Not that Regulus cared, well maybe he did a little, but.. no! Fuck. He’s delusional again. Okay. Focus.
The walk. Right. He’d do that.
The walk was tense, filled with an unwelcome silence. The sights and views did little to ease Regulus’ growing unease.
He had eventually decided to just sit at the park for a couple of hours. He sat on the swing, as per usual. He pulled out a pen and a spare sheet of paper from his pocket and begin to draw, aimlessly.
A little girl standing a bit away from him had caught his eye and she just stared, and stared. Like she was seeing something unnatural or weird. It made Regulus overthink, but this was just a kid, right? Kids had no filter, they just do and say whatever appeals to them.
His time at the park was somewhat decent, it could’ve been better. The walk home was slightly more pleasant than the walk to the park. He had stopped at a small convenience store and bought two packets on crisps. Thank Merlin he had remembered to bring money.
By the time he was half way home, the sun was beginning to set, and it was nothing short of beautiful. He had half a mind to just stand there and watch as the golden pink hues melt into the horizon. But it was getting late, and he had to be home sooner or later. He took a quick shortcut to make things easier, on his way passing by the most wonderful sights that were ever so pleasing to the eye.
As he walked, he felt pleased. He had nothing planned for the evening, he had finally finished unpacking and he could just relax with a good book in hand.
He walked up the cobbled steps to his home house, fishing his keys from his back pocket and unlocking the door. He steps inside, his parents were out so he had some time alone. Only then does he remember that he had to do the dishes, he groans internally, dreading it already.
Maybe he could get some reading time and get the dishes done before his parents returned. He could only hope.
Reading was hopeless as he found, his attention span was smaller than that of a goldfish and it frustrated him to no end sometimes. Sometimes he also hoped that Sirius would be here, Sirius made reading so fun and Regulus didn’t have to worry about finishing a chapter, it was okay to just read a page. Hell, sometimes he’d only read a paragraph, and that was okay. Sirius was the glue, though, and without him, nothing was okay. Everything was broken.
The next few hours were spent doing pointless and trivial tasks, until finally he was laying in bed. Comfortable and unwilling to get up.
He found himself wondering what it would be like to be a star, hanging above the world, watching everyone and everything move by in a blur, while he himself hadn’t a single worry. He can’t imagine that the life of a star could be perfect, though. All stars are destined to burn out eventually, even the best ones.
A sharp knock at the front door startled him out of his thoughts. Fuck! The dishes. It can't be that bad, right? Plus, he was much to comfortable to get up. He had promised to do it, and a promise was a promise, but.. ugh. Why did things have to be so complicated, why did people have to ask for help? He’ll never understand, probably due to the fact that he himself hated asking for help.
He’d do the dishes. He’d do it. His eyelids begun to feel heavy and a stifled yawn escapes his lips. He’d do the dishes tomorrow. Sometime.
‘Maybe in the morning.’