Arthur
So this was it, Arthur thought to himself. Left here to starve, and wither, and die by his Merlin. While he may have been exaggerating slightly about starving, Arthur thought with a grimace, remembering the starving town he had come across in his search for Merlin, he was not about being left here to die and wither away. Arthur had counted the days. 13 days since Merlin had locked him in his chambers, and 3 days since Merlin had stopped visiting. Had Arthur truly hurt Merlin this badly?
Did Merlin truly think Arthur to be like his father? A terrifying thought, really. It had consumed Arthur’s nights since he became king, and now it did his days. Arthur could not stop replaying what Merlin had told him. Arthur did not doubt Merlin’s love for his people far outweighed Merlin’s affection for Arthur. Arthur knew, even though he wished it would be different, that Merlin would not hesitate if it came to it. Merlin had always been like that. He’d rather sacrifice his life, and his happiness for anyone else, than let someone else feel slight discomfort.
Merlin would rather lose his friend than the magical realm. Arthur understood. Well, in the way the a diplomat could sympathize an ally’s loss after years of manners training. Arthur would give up everything in a heartbeat for his family and friends.
Arthur had always known he was much to emotional to be a king. His emotions led him everywhere, including to the point where he broke out of his confinement, and retook his castle.
When Merlin would return, Arthur would be ready this time. He’d show Merlin that he could keep them all safe. And then Merlin would come back as Arthur’s advisor, and they would go back to how they always were. Arthur would tease Merlin, and prod at him, just to feel the heat of his love’s skin. Merlin would laugh, unknowingly entrancing Arthur even further. And Arthur would live like that.
Arthur kicked down the door to his rooms, accidentally knocking out one of the guards. The other stood in a mix of shock and horror as Arthur stared, clothes wrinkly, hair a mess, and a manic look in his eyes.
It did not take long to take back Camelot. Merlin was wrong. Arthur wasn’t under a spell. He wasn’t. Arthur knew that he loved Merlin.
Arthur seldom listened to rumors, but occasionally they would drift into his court as he waited for Merlin to come back.
The king’s gone insane!
I always knew the man was a bit neurotic.
Do you think it’s possibly Merlin cast a spell? The boy is sweet, but you must admit, everything’s gone haywire because of him.
King Arthur is ill.
The Druids have done it.
It’s Dragon Flu.
Blah, blah, blah. Arthur was king, it didn’t matter what peasants thought. Arthur just needed to prove to Merlin he was competent. And then it would be fine. It would all be fine.
It took another three days for Merlin to return. The guards, at Arthur’s orders, attempted to drag the man to face the king. They were flung away with a flick of the wrist. Before Merlin reached Arthur’s court, Arthur saw him through one of the many glass windows in the throne room.
Arthur’s knuckles went white as he gripped his throne. Merlin was with someone else! How could he? Merlin abandoned Arthur, just to pick up some common whore?
No, no, no, Arthur reasoned with himself. Merlin would not do that. Merlin has pride.
Still, Arthur was incredibly tempted to send his guards out to arrest Merlin’s little friend. But no, Arthur would not do that. Arthur had gotten into this mess because Merlin did not believe Arthur competent enough. Merlin did not believe Arthur in a lot off regards, the manic king realized. Merlin didn’t believe Arthur could run a kingdom. Didn’t believe Arthur could love him.
No, that was wrong as well. Arthur tried to remember what Merlin had told him that night. He used to have it memorized, could replay it at will. But now it was all fuzzy. Arthur only felt anger, desperation, pleasure, sorrow, and love. They all blurred together until Merlin’s words were nearly unintelligible.
But Arthur was sure about one thing.
“Arthur, you don’t know what it means to love me. No one does.”
Merlin did not think he could be loved. Arthur would prove otherwise.