The woods were decorated with fairy lights and glow sticks making it feel alive with some kind of magic. Malibu by Hole was blaring from a sound system and the girls were filling up plastic cups with cheap spirits.
Van grinned, raising a bottle of vodka in her right hand up to her lips, taking in the scene. they had won States. Jackie’s goal at the last second meant they would soon be heading to Seattle to compete at nationals. The only obvious celebration was to get black out drunk and try not to regret too many of their actions.
“Hey Van!” She whipped her head around to the corner of the room where Nat was staggering around with another bottle of vodka and the others on their team spread out with some of the girls huddled in the back of Shauna’s pick up truck and others sprawled on blankets strewn over logs in the clearing . “Get your ass over here!”
Van loped across the clearing and jumped over a particularly large log, landing with a large huff to the soundtrack of disgruntled murmurs of Lottie, Mari and Gen, sitting on the floor in front of her.
“What’s going on?” Van asked, making eye contact with Nat before glancing around everyone else sitting near the campfire. Unbidden, Van’s eyes dragged over to the window, stomach fluttering as she took in Akilah leaning on Taissa’s shoulders. Tai had a glassy sheen to her eyes that implied that she was already tipsy–a feat quite difficult for someone who was usually so regulated. Van’s stomach fluttered harder as Tai turned slightly and made eye contact with her, smirking while still deep in conversation with Akilah.
Between hours of studying both classwork and each other, Van had begun to notice things about Tai. She always pursed her lips when resisting the urge to answer every question in class. Her eyes always sparkled when the other teammates were practising their plays but couldn’t figure out the final piece to the puzzle - but of course, Tai had and was waiting for the right moment to introduce a new formation that would save the day. Or how she blushed so prettily whenever she noticed Van staring a bit too long at her. Van wanted nothing more than to make a move and kiss the blush right off of Tai’s red cheeks, but her fear of messing up her friendship with Tai, beautiful Tai, was stopping her and making her second guess everything.
“Vanessa my love” Nat leant forward, resting her elbows on her knees and ripping Van away from her thoughts. “We were just talking about that save today, the one where you almost took Mari’s eye out. That was fucking brilliant!”
Van grinned wildly and visibly preened under the praise. “Thank you, thank you Natalie. Probably my best performance to date, I should think.” She fluttered her arms in a bowing manner, making eye contact with Tai again on her way back up. Taissa had an eyebrow cocked at her and a glint in her eye that made Van grin, knowing that something cutting was going to escape Tai’s lips any moment.
“Alright Nat, you might want to stop inflating Van’s ego. After all, we’ve all heard enough of Van and her performance skills,” Tai interjected with an emphasis on the word performance, wiggling her eyebrows at her. The group burst into cackling laughter and Van rolled her eyes, sighing in mock exasperation.
Shauna snorted, “And the reviews haven’t always been stellar.” Van knew everyone was remembering her entirely unremarkable fumble with Melissa two years ago, before they both realized that they were just not into each other like that.
After a few moments of trying to stop her eyes from drifting over to Taissa and listening to her friends get progressively drunker and louder, Van gracefully unfolded herself from the makeshift couch. She walked over to a tree trunk where Tai was steadily sipping through another beer. Trying not to stare at Tai’s throat swallowing the alcohol, Van reached out to pinch her side. “Move over, will you?”
Tai wrapped her lips around the bottle, looking up at Van from underneath her eyebrows. “Or what, you’ll show me some of that legendary Van Palmer performance?” she giggled.
“You wish, Tai,” Van colored, trying to hide the effect that Taissa’s words were having on her. She pinched her side again, and Tai moved over a few inches, giving Van just enough space to squash up next to her, thigh to thigh, hip to hip, shoulders to shoulders.
Tai leaned in close to Van’s ear, lips nearly touching the shell of her ear and making every hair on Van’s body stand up. She exhaled loudly as Taissa slurrily whispered, “You really did do very well today, goalie.”
“You idiot, you’re so almost drunk, aren’t you? You’d never compliment me normally,” Van exclaimed, raising her pointer finger to tap Taissa on her sweaty cheek.
Tai shrugged, giggling softly again. Van felt the redness rush to her cheeks again, feeling so very fond of her teammate and her quick witted remarks and soft smiles and tight tops and denim jackets that she wanted to burrow in. She moved closer to Tai, draping her arm around her back and rubbing the hair at the nape of her sweaty neck. Tai leaned her head back into the touch and Van gulped, feeling the rush of her emotions for Taissa nearly overwhelm her.
“Tai, I-”
“Hey Tai, what’s that song you were playing in the locker room again? I wanna make a dance to it,” Jackie hollered, interrupting Van. It was probably for the best, anyways, Van thought to herself as Tai got up to help Jackie with the music and the dulcet tones of Portishead started drifting through the glade. She didn’t know what she would have said if she hadn’t been interrupted, just that it would have been entirely too telling, especially with how drunk and sweet Tai was acting.
The party continued well into the night with music blaring, bottles of drink littered all over the forest floor. In the clearing, bodies were gyrating sweatily on the makeshift dance floor, and Van was panting, searching around for a drink that wasn’t pure alcohol.
Looking around, she saw Tai stumbling towards Lottie’s Jeep. She was wearing a tight short sleeved shirt that emphasized her beautiful body and a red zipped hoodie, on a closer glance, may have actually been Van’s.
“Tai!” Van hollered, trying to be heard over the music. Taissa didn’t make any acknowledgement of her exclamation, continuing to try and open the car door. Van ran up to Tai, expertly dodging her drunken flailing limbs, and nearly stumbled into Tai’s back with her effort.
She placed a hand on the small of Tai’s back, shuddering at the warmth that she felt there. “Tai, you doing alright? D’you need help sitting down?” Tai turned her head slowly and looked at Van confusedly.
“‘M fantastic!” Tai exclaimed, tossing her hands up in the air. The action caused her to lose her balance, tripping over her own feet and stumbling into Van. “Whoa there,” Van laughed, gripping onto Tai’s elbows to hold her up. “Someone had a little too much fun tonight, hmm?”
Tai giggled and moved her head closer to Van, widening her eyes comically. “Guess what?” she slurred. Van made eye contact with Taissa, fondly rubbing her thumbs against Tai’s elbows. “What?”
“‘M in loooove,” Taissa said, drawing out the word to last several syllables.
Van felt her heart stop. She had no idea that Tai had her eyes on anyone, let alone that she could be in love with anyone. She swallowed down the nausea that had erupted in her stomach and thought back to the guys who also spent all of class staring at Taissa Turner. “Oh, are you now? Who’s the lucky guy?” Van said, dreading who could have stolen Taissa’s heart. She felt goosebumps travel down her neck and shivers down her spine as Tai leaned in close to her ear for the second time that night.
“Shhh, it‘s Van, but you can’t tell anyone,” Tai slurred, leaning heavily against Van.
Heart pounding, Van winced at Tai’s volume and shook her head. “Tai, when have I ever spilled your secrets? Just tell me who it is” she prompted, moving her hand up to grip Tai’s shoulder. she shook her head, getting distracted by the lean muscles under her palm and refocused on Tai’s hazel eyes.
“Van.”
She shook her head and smiled again wryly. It would be hard getting anything out of Taissa when she was ther drunk.
“Yes, that’s me, but who is it?”
Taissa claps her hands around Van’s face.
“I’m in love with Van.”
Van froze, realizing she had made a very big mistake with pushing Tai. Clearly Tai was either drunker than she originally believed and was making things up, or she was drunker than she originally believed and didn’t realize she was spilling her secrets to Van.
Tai continued, “she’s so infuriating and she’s just my absolute best friend but she’s just so pretty and I don’t think I’ll ever stop loving her. I just want to kiss her so bad, especially when she does that pouty thing when she’s studying and she scrunches her nose. Ugh she just makes it so hard for me to concentrate on anything except for how beautiful she is,” Tai sighed, trailing off, sniffling, and resting her head on Van’s shoulder. Her hands began inching their way up Van’s back to hook around her neck. On impulse, Van’s hands came up to rest gently on Tai’s waist, heart fluttering wildly at her best friend’s confession and barely able to focus on any of her surroundings.
There was no doubt in her mind that Taissa was telling the truth about liking her, which made her feel as if she were soaring, knowing that her feelings were reciprocated so strongly by the girl in front of her, but the circumstances were less than ideal.
Van removed Tai’s hands from around her neck and held them firmly in her own hands, running her finger over her palms.
“Tai. Taissa. I am Van,” she said adamantly, trying one last time to get Tai to understand who she was talking to and what she had just confessed.
Tai’s eyes widened and she grinned loopily. “You are Van. You’re so beautiful.”
“Fuck, you’re going to be so upset if you remember this tomorrow,” Van said frantically, moaning as she remembered her best friend’s avoidance tactics when she was embarrassed. “I’m going to get you to bed and let you sleep this off okay.”
Taissa grinned lecherously. “Take me to bed, make all my dreams come true tonight.”
Shit. Van stood for a moment, mouth open in shock and trying to get her heart rate under control. Taissa was going to be the absolute death of her.
She shook her head again, focusing on the girl in front of her. Wrapping an arm around Taissa’ back and grabbing Taissa’s arm to stabilise her, Van began the slow task of trying to haul Tai onto Lottie’s plush car seats. Taissa continued to stumble as Van tried to sit her up straight, tucking her into one of the many blankets stored her for such drunken occasions. This was not helped by the fact that Taissa kept trying to burrow her face in Van’ neck, causing Van to close her eyes tightly and try to resist the urge to just give up and let Taissa do whatever she so wanted with her.
Having managed to get Taissa adequately tucked in, Van bent down, pushing Taissa to rest her head on a makeshift pillow (Van’s hoodie folded up) . Looking down, Van gulped as she watched Taissa try and wriggle out of her jeans, tossing them to the floor and scooting up against the car door. Van sat on the edge of the seats and leaned forward, wrapping the sleeping bag high up on Taissa and shifting her hand to comb through Taissa’ curls. Taissa’s eyes fluttered shut at the motion and a soft smile appeared on her face.
“Goodnight baby,” Van said softly, thinking anxiously of the morning to come. Taissa nuzzled into her hand and Van felt herself melt looking at her beautiful girl. Giving a little pat to Taissa’ head, Van made a move to rejoin the group outside, when Taissa’s eyes shot open and her hand whipped out from under the sleeping bag to grip Van’s wrist tightly.
“Don’t leave me,” she pleaded, a spark of vulnerability in her eyes as she looked over at Van.
Van groaned, feeling absolutely helpless to deny her but knowing that Taissa would absolutely regret her actions if she remembered the whole evening upon waking the next morning.
“Alright, budge over.” She lifted the corner of the bag as Taissa scooted towards the other edge of the backseat, making room for Van to join. The yellowjackets had all slept in the back of each other's cars after parties in the woods when they were too drunk to face their parents or more importantly drive. Being in such close proximity to Taissa felt more weighted given her confession that evening and Van’s own feelings towards the sleeping girl.
Van wrapped her arm around Taissa’ shoulders, shuddering heavily as Taissa burrowed her head into Van’s neck.
“I love you,” Taissa murmured against Van’s throat. Van worried her lips, looking up at the ceiling of their dormitory. She glanced back down at Taissa’ soft features and began tracing slow patterns down Taissa’s back.
“I love you too, Tai. I just hope you don’t hate me tomorrow,” she whispered, resting her face on Taissa’ soft hair and breathing in the scent of her best friend. Slowly, she drifted off to sleep.
“Oh no. Oh no.”
The next morning, Van was awoken by Taissa groaning into her chest. The pair hadn’t shifted position all night, still cuddled up with each other. Van grinned at the nauseated expression on Taissa’ face, thinking of all the Red Stripe that Taissa had consumed the night before.
“What happened last night?” Taissa asked, looking ill as she opened her eyes and squinted up at Van.
Van’s grin faded a little bit, looking hesitantly at Taissa.
“You don’t remember?”
Taissa looked confused, thinking back through her blurry memories of the night before. Suddenly her eyes widened with shock and she ripped himself out of Van’s arms.
She wrapped her head in her hands, shaking and rocking back and forth.
“Oh Fuck, Van, I’m so sorry. I’m so sorry,” she repeated several times, keeping her head in her hands so as to not make eye contact with Van.
Van shook her head with exasperation. Taissa had confessed her feelings last night and she was apologising as if it were somehow something bad. She scooted up next to Taissa, slowly wrapping her long fingers one by one around Taissa’ slender wrists and pulling them down to her lap.
“Tai, baby, what are you talking about?”
“The things I said last night,” Taissa shook her head, not meeting her eyes. “I understand if I made you uncomfortable and I ruined everything with our friendship. I should leave,” she said, making an aborted move to get out of the parked car.
Van rushed forward, bringing her hand up and moving her fingers under Taissa’ chin, lifting it up and forcing her to make eye contact.
“I think you just sped things along, to be honest. God knows I would have been too much of a pussy to do anything myself,” Van said, thinking that honesty was the best way forward with how much of a flight risk Taissa seemed at the moment.
Taissa’ brow furrowed with confusion. “What-” she barely had ground out before she registered Van’s hand on her chin. Her eyes flickered down to Van's hand on her chin before looking back up to her eyes and then settling somewhere in between, near her lips.
Van licked her bottom lip, smirking when she saw Taissa inhale sharply. she moved closer, bringing Taissa’ face closer with the hand on her chin.
“You did ruin our friendship,” she whispered and Taissa’ eyes glanced up unblinkingly. “But only because now that I know you love me too, I’ll never be satisfied with being just your friend ever again,” Van breathed out.
Suddenly, Taissa’s hand came up to Van’s long wavy hair and tugged and the next thing she knew was that Taissa’ lips were against her. Oh God, it was better than she imagined. Taissa’ lips were soft but slightly chapped, gently moving against her, tongue asking for entrance to Van’s mouth.
Van would Tai have anything, feeling tingles run through her whole body as Taissa shifted closer, playing with the loose waves of hair at the back of Van’s neck. Van emitted a low noise of pleasure and the two separated, staring dazed at each other with eyes half-lidded and lips swollen and red.
Taissa opened her mouth as if to say something and Van’s eyes flicked down to glance at her lips again, when they were interrupted by a loud “Get a room!” from Natalie and the sound of something smacking against the car door before falling to the floor.
She turned her head to see Taissa with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, trailing her fingers up Van’s arm and eventually tugging her back into her warm embrace.
Van followed obediently, all annoyance at Natalie's interruption forgotten as she curled back around Taissa and smiled sweetly as Taissa traced her fingers around the curve of Van’s jawline, wrapping around the jut of her chin and bringing her closer to Taissa’ lips again. Taissa inhaled suddenly as their lips met, and pressed one, two, and three chaste kisses to Van’s mouth before reaching her arm out to the front seat to grab some chapstick.
The pair stared at each other for a second before Taissa smiled bashfully, looking down and blushing slightly as she caught sight of Van’s red lips. Van smirked and wrapped an arm tightly around Taissa’ shoulders, bringing her other arm to rake through Taissa’ dark brown curls. Her thumb traced the hint of rouge on Taissa’ cheek and she brought her face close to Taissa’ again, foreheads touching.
“Say it,” Taissa whispered. “I’ve already embarrassed myself, I wanna hear you."
Van touched their noses together, closing her eyes again as she whispered, “If it wasn’t already stsupidly clear, I love you too. So, so much, Tai.” Their lips pressed into each other over and over again, hands beginning to wander over each other’s bodies, touching and touching and those were the last words exchanged in the backseat for a while.