Month 17 – Narcissa Malfoy
Month 17 – Narcissa Malfoy
Nine years ago, when the Dark Lord had been at the height of his second reign over the wizarding world, Narcissa made a conscious decision to protect her son over anything else. When she lied to the man who had forced her underaged son into servitude, telling him that Harry Potter was dead, she knew she’d done the right thing. Her son was everything to her.
After the war, she’d been heartbroken twice. When her husband was sentenced to life in prison, her son leaving the wizarding world - leaving her and everything he’d known behind. She had been placed under house arrest, so there was little she could do to fight him. She’d spent months resenting her actions as a protective mother. Although she would never regret lying to the Dark Lord. Her actions allowed Harry to defeat him. Not her actions alone, but it helped tremendously. Harry had testified to that at her trial. She was thankful that she didn’t have to spend any time in the dreadfulness of Azkaban prison.
Resenting her son, led her to feel guilt, then loneliness. She had an enormous home and no one to share life with. She luckily still had the house elves, who she’d promptly freed and offered jobs to each one with generous pay. Most of them stayed on when they learned that their old master would never return. A handful left and Narcissa had wished them all good luck with substantial severance to help them on their new life paths.
She was so lonely that she’d attempted to take her own life, before the first year was up. The elf that had raised her, and stayed with her throughout her entire life was her saving grace. Finding her, and rarely leaving her side.
Her house arrest started out tortuous. She thought time alone in her home would be joyous without the influence of the death eaters and their master. Yet the dark magic had seeped into the very cracks of the home she loved. Getting curse breakers to come help get rid of the dark magic and dark artifacts was like pulling teeth. No one was willing to help her and it took over a year and a heap of her vaults to get a group of curse breakers to come. At first it was Bill Weasley who came. He worked alone for months. Then he convinced another, then another. So, by the time she’d gotten her wand returned to her, they had 5 curse breakers on the payroll at the manor. She had talked with the oldest Weasley son during the time he’d worked alone in her home. She was starved for human interactions, so why would she give up the chance to talk with him. She’d been surprised at how lovely of a man he was. He had been anxious at first. After a few weeks, he’d admitted to Narcissa that he’d only come because Harry had testified for her. He thanked her for lying to Voldemort. She was shocked that any Weasley would thank her. Her family’s prejudice against the Weasley clan was generational. Rotting for years before she married into the Malfoy line. She then gave her deepest sympathy for the loss of his bother and all of the Order members, during both wars. The interaction led to developing a deep friendship with the young man.
Narcissa stayed by Bills side as he worked and learned a great deal about cruse breaking. Even though she couldn’t implement any of the things she learned, she was able to store away the information and as soon as her wand was returned to her, she started to help de-curse her home. By the end of her house arrest she’d successfully removed a fourth of her home’s dark magic and dark artifacts single handedly. She would often work into the night while the others were away to get the darkness from her home. The five curse breakers and herself had finally freed her home of darkness one month before her house arrest was over. Bill had approached her with a job offer, informing her that her actions and dedications spoke volumes, and their department would be lucky to have her on their team. She’d declined but thanked him for his offer.
That’s when she had set her wand aside and decided to take a page from her son’s book. She had lasted a week without magic, knowing her wand was at her fingertips. Forcefully living without her wand during the first two years of her house arrest, she’d gotten used to, but she couldn’t just set aside her wand now that she had it back again.
Being alone again was difficult, so she started making several aesthetic changes around the house. Things that she could quickly do with magic. It kept her busy, but the nighttime hours were the worst.
She’d long since moved from the master wing, the one she had shared with her husband. So much of it reminded her of him. Stepping back into the dust filled room, an idea rushed into her mind. She imagined making each wing into its own apartment. Each wing could fit four rather large apartments. She started planning that very night and imagined opening her home to invite more people to live there. She wouldn’t have to live so alone anymore. She longed to reach out to her son, asking him to move back home, but she ultimately decided to leave him be.
6 months after her house arrest, Narcissa had attempted to attend several social events, but was shunned at each. The wizarding world didn’t want her in it anymore. Even though she felt the loss of her old social life, she didn’t feel that it was a true loss. Although she had no clue how else she could live. She’d known no other way of living than being posh in the wizarding world.
Narcissa decided she wanted to learn more about the muggle world. She ventured into muggle London and became overwhelmed. She had been alone for so long and she chose to go to the center of one of the busiest cities in the world. After 30 minutes, she hid in a nearby alley. She stood in the darkness, watching the people going by. Quickly taking her wand out, she’d apparated to Diagon alley. There she watched the busy streets of the wizarding world. While it was less busy than the streets of muggle London, she was still overwhelmed. She sat on a bench close to Gringotts and tried to breathe.
A familiar face passed her heading into the wizarding bank, and she craned her neck to see if she had truly seen who she thought she had. Unfortunately, the person moved too quickly through the crowd and entered the bank before she could follow them. Narcissa remained on the bench, continuing to breathe and make a plan of her next steps. Suddenly, a young dark hair woman was standing in front of her, covering her in her shadow. The sun was directly behind the woman, and Narcissa couldn’t see her face clearly.
“Missa?” the woman exclaimed excitedly.
Narcissa smiled broadly. The term had been used by her son’s closest friends since childhood. It was a mix between Mama & Cissa. Many of them had discontinued it’s use as they got older, especially the boys, but Pansy had always continued to use it. Mostly when she was alone with Narcissa.
Standing up, Narcissa put her hand on the young girl’s face. They hadn’t seen each other for years. She’d grown into such a beautiful young woman. She kept her hair slightly longer than the bob she’d had grown up with. Her makeup was gentler and not as striking as her teenage years. What Narcissa noticed the most was the change in her facial expression. The girl was smiling. A true smile. Not the fake smile she had used for most of her formative years. Nor the scowl she would wear as a mask. Grabbing both of Pansy’s cheeks, she saw one tear fall down her cheek. She’d always felt protective over the girl. Pansy’s parents had treated her so poorly. Narcissa tried to show her a motherly love that she wouldn’t receive at home. She’d heard about the atrocities Pansy and so many of the young pureblood girls had to go thru at the hands of so many death eaters. There had been nothing she could have done. When Pansy looked deeply into Narcissa’s eyes, their silent communication spoke volumes. Despite her upbringing, she gathered the young woman in her arms, allowing her to cradle into her body. They both needed the embrace.
Pulling apart they continued to hold onto each other when Narcissa finally spoke. “You look so well, my dear. How have you been?”
Looking around the street, Pansy suggested that they catch up somewhere else. They quickly exchanged options and then agreed to go back to Malfoy Manor.
Pansy caught her up to everything the Slytherins had been up to the last few years. Narcissa reveled the details of their lives. She watched as Pansy pulled out a small rectangle device, sending a typed message to Theo, letting him know where she was. Narcissa marveled at the clothes Pansy adorned and she felt like her son when she’d taken him to his first candy store. (He had asked for three of everything.) She wanted to know everything about their muggle lives. She wasn’t disgusted by it and realized how far she’d come from the woman who had lived in this very house with the darkest-lord-of-muggle-haters.
There wasn’t enough time, and they scheduled to get together more often to discuss their lives. Narcissa insisted that they keep it between themselves and leave Draco out of it.
The next meeting, Pansy had brought Theo who shared all the entertainment parts of living like a muggle. They set to working on making the Manor muggle friendly by adding electricity. Theo had learned several charms to morph muggle technology to be in a magical home. The expanse of the Manor caused the timetable of accomplishing the task to move into months, rather than days or weeks. But Narcissa was able to watch the first show in her own apartment within a month after they started. She stopped feeling so alone.
When she received word that her husband had passed away, she struggled. Too much. Her hatred towards her husband was the juxtaposition of her love for him. Even though he led their family down a dark path, she couldn’t stop loving him. Losing Draco for a year hurt her deeply. He’d abandoned her and she started to resent her own son again. She refused to reach out to him after how he’d treated her.
She started to relax in her attire. Muggle clothing was a god send. She read so many romance novels and secretly admitted that she loved muggles and their creativity. She started up with watercolor painting. Her gardening, luckily, was still one of her favorite hobbies. Some things would never change.
The elves were happier, and her home was brightening into a place she had always wanted to live in.
After two years of living with muggle items she decided to take the next steps to remodel the Manor. Due to the legality of ownership, she was required to reach out to her son. She couldn’t do anything without his permission. Their correspondence led to Narcissa giving her adult son an earful. All her feelings came out and she sent the first howler she’d ever written to her only child. After she saw the owl take off, she instantly regretted it, but there was nothing more she could do. Finally, she settled on the fact that she might lose her son forever. The next 24 hours had been the longest of her life. When she finally received her son’s apology, she shed the final layer of her posh persona. She was no longer the Narcissa of old. She was a new woman, and she knew she would never go back. Her son would have to accept the new woman she’d become. Yet she needed time to successfully process all the feelings she had been repressing.
The few months were a whirlwind of remodeling. She brought in contractors to oversee the changes. Pansy and Theo had given her so many ideas that she couldn’t keep up. There was so much to do and so little time to do it. Finally, Narcissa had a purpose and she would not give up on it.
Three months after her son’s apology letter, she finally felt it was time to extend the olive branch. She reached out to invite her son home. Tea was the best option, even though she’d grown more accustomed to drinking coffee, she still had the occasional tea. He had declined, pushing her off that he was busy at the time, but maybe later. Finally, he reached out regularly, and acquiesced to meeting for tea, telling her about Hermione’s father Phillip, and how he’d been the one to encourage him to reach out to her again. She’d insisted they meet at a muggle café she’d fallen in love with. Also insisted he bring Phillip. She was anxious to see her son again, and she knew Phillip was someone Draco trusted, and he would be a good safeguard for them. Truthfully, she was unsure if she would be able to relate to her son again. She’d changed so much since the end of the war.
As Narcissa waited in the alley across the street from the café, she watched for the arrival of her son. She’d arrived 20 minutes before they said they’d meet. She wanted to take him in without him seeing her. She needed time to see how he’d changed. She had admitted to herself that she was petrified of seeing him again. She was unsure whether or not she could handle it, but knew the build up had been the worst. Her anxiety was of her own making. The changes she’d gone through would shock him, but she needed to reach for the confidence she’d had in her younger years.
A beautiful older car pulled up with a man driving who seemed to be around her own age. She couldn’t see the passenger, but she knew her son was in the car. As it pulled up outside the café, she waited with bated breath. The two didn’t move from the car right away. She watched as the driver turned to the passenger, seeming to say several reassuring words. As the passenger door opened, she watched a tall, broad man exit the vehicle. Her son had grown up. He had become so beautiful. His hair was nicely cut, but not hoity like he’d worn it as a child. His attire was dark, yet inviting. As he looked anxiously up and down the street, she realized he was just as nervous as she was. Looking down at her own attire, she started second guessing herself. Giving herself a couple of minutes, she shook her head, stood up straight and tall and ran across the street, blowing into the café with a relish.
As soon as her eyes settled on her son, he stood and ran to her, abruptly stopping in front of her. He went to reach for her hand. His upbringing pushed him to do so. She wouldn’t have it and gently moved his hand away in leu of the hug she’d longed to give him.
As they sat down and basically caught up, she was surprised to see how quiet he was. She conversed with Phillip more than her own son.
When she finally had the courage to invite him to the Manor, she realized she’d mis-stepped when she invited Phillip and Hermione. They look the two gave each other was communication enough. She felt her loneliness creep back in as she wrung her hands with nervousness.
When Phillip started to explain, her mind had begun to drift at how to salvage the situation. Then she heard her son say the words she’d only heard as a small child. She has the gift. It’s a rare… She couldn’t stop herself from saying the word she’d sworn to her grandmother she’d never repeat, as she whispered. “Donum.” With a gasp.
Draco’s eyes and mouth were wide, he thought they’d frozen in place. He had no words. His mother just revealed that she knew about ‘The Gift.”
Phillip looked between the two, not knowing if either would speak up. Narcissa looked sick and Draco looked frozen.
Finally, Phillip glanced at Narcissa and asked. “You know about the Donum?”
Narcissa’s eyes left her sons to meet Phillip’s. Her eyes narrowed at him while she slowly started to nod.
“How?” He urged.
Narcissa broke eye contact and looked around uncomfortably.
Watching his mother’s face morph, Draco saw the woman he’d grown up with. While she had shown him love and adoration, she was the epitome of stoic grace in the public eye. She never allowed her face to tell anyone what she was feeling. She was a skilled Occlumens and could protect her thoughts from those around her. It helped his family tremendously during the war, and it is what led her to protect Harry Potter when the time came to defeat Voldemort.
The woman in front of him began to occlude. Unlike Hermione, he only saw a twinge of the effect. His mother knew how to control it. Wondering why she felt the need to occlude such an important piece of knowledge, he looked at her eagerly.
Again, it was Phillip who broke the silence. “Will you tell us what you know?”
Narcissa looked down at her hands. Her gaze following the movement as she brought them up to rest, clasped, on the tabletop.
“Mother, please….” Draco pleaded softly.
The kindness of his request brought Narcissa out of her occlusion. She looked up at Draco with a force that caused him to sit up straighter. He’d never been kind in his requests as a boy. He had been a demanding prat growing up and his maturity and kindness shook his mother. He saw the turmoil in her gaze, and he understood that she was dealing with an internal struggle.
“If it’s too difficult, you don’t….” He began.
“No, no…. It’s not that. I made a promise years ago and I have never been tempted to break it until now.” She said softly, shying away from meeting either of their gazes.
“And unbreakable vow?” Phillip assumed.
“No, nothing that severe.” She shook her head, continually looking away. She was deep in thought. Draco knew she needed time and he placed a steady hand on her clasped ones. He heard her sigh deeply, then looking up at him with tears, ready to spill down her cheeks.
“My grandmother was a Donum.” She began.
Draco heard Phillip’s seat scrape as he leaned further into the table, rapt with attention.
“I grew very close to her before she died. Closer than my sisters. Closer than my own father. My mother commented that the bond I had with her was unlike any other.” She smiled to herself. “I loved her fiercely and she loved me just as deeply. When she became ill, just before her death, my father brought her to live with us. I was 11 at the time, about to start my first year at Hogwarts. I spent all my free time with her. Just before she died, she shared her biggest secret. That she was a Donum. I didn’t understand at the time but was able to find out more during my time at school. Severus helped me research. (He thought I’d found the term while reading, so I didn’t have to share my grandmother’s secret with him.) She told me that a Donum was shunned in Britain pureblood society, so she kept it a secret. When her parents discovered she was one, they followed the protocol to get her mentored, but when she returned home from her first year, they asked her to suppress her gift. They’d scoured the world to figure out how to rid her of what they believed, was an affliction.
“She agreed, to appease them, but didn’t suppress it, simply occluded her amplified abilities. She kept in secret contact with her mentor and was able to build a deep control and understanding of her gift.” Narcissa looked up at Draco with a furrowed brow.
“She didn’t tell anyone, not even her husband or children. When she saw the end coming, she decided to tell me. She didn’t want to be forgotten. I have a trunk full of her journals, letters from her mentor and all the research she did. Including some of my own.”
This news gave Draco more hope than he’d had in recent weeks. He saw a light at the end of a dark tunnel. Hermione was going to be okay. He knew that his mother came back into his life for more reasons than to rekindle their fractured relationship. She would be a crucial part to save the woman he loved.
“She made me promise. She knew she could trust me, and I did. I have never told another soul until now.” She looked between the two men. “Hermione is really a Donum?”
They both nodded. Phillip speaking up first. “Apparently her talent is mind magic. When she obliviated my wife and I, it was too powerful to be reversed. Never mind, she didn’t know to not obliviate two people at once. Then when she started to occlude, it seemed to overtake her own mind. She’s in a trance. Her actions are robotic and she’s more of a husk than the daughter I know. I’m losing her again and I don’t know what to do.” Phillip looked toward Draco and then back at Narcissa.
“Mother, do you know how to help her? Does any of the research you have tell you how to temper the strength of the gift?” Draco pushed.
Narcissa shook her head. “I’m not sure, darling. My grandmother’s talent was charm magic. She could do almost anything. She created many new charms and her understanding of the structure to build charms was well known throughout the wizarding world.” Looking down with concentration, she returned her gaze to Draco. “She told me that she’d train in stages. If Hermione hasn’t had the stepped training, then she’s jumped into using her gift without the structure she needs. Her talent is rare. Mind magic can be hard to pinpoint with its broadness. I need to go through my grandmother’s trunk.” Pulling one of her hands out to place it over Phillip’s and then looking between the two men she continued. “I’m going to do everything I can to help. You have my word on that.”
Her smile calmed Draco’s racing heart.
It always fascinated him how things could work out. How people and places happened, intersecting in life just when they needed to.
Thinking back to his cousin, he laughed to himself…. Well, isn’t this nice….