wonderwall

James woke up tangled in the warmth of Regulus. He looked up and saw that he was awake and already looking down at him.

“You hungry?” Regulus asked. God, his morning voice was hot. It was like if you melted down everything good in the world and poured it directly into your ears.

“Um,” James was absolutely starstruck, “Yeah- yeah I could eat.”

“Okay,” Regulus started, “Remus and I are going to go get bagels. We’ll be back in a little.” Regulus tried to stand up but James wasn’t giving up his spot that easily. 

“Mmph,” James grunted and clinged on to Regulus, wrapping his arms the rest of the way around his torso.

“James,” Regulus laughed, “I have to go, Remus is already waiting for me downstairs.”

“Okay, fine.” James rolled off of him and he stood up. Regulus shuffled out of his room. 

He heard the two of them talk downstairs and the front door opened and closed. James hauled himself up and into Sirius’ room.

He walked in without knocking. Sirius was sitting upright on his bed and scrolling on his phone.

“Sirius I have major lore,” James exclaimed excitedly.

“Is this just going to be you sitting in my bed and pining about my brother for an hour?” Sirius asked with a look on his face.

“Yes, absolutely,” James answered, “You don’t get it Siri, I need him biblically.” James threw his head into the pillow next to him.

“Are you serious?” He laughed.

“No,” James tried to control his laughter, “You are.” He failed. They both laughed for a while. 

“I mean you might actually have a chance this time,” Sirius sat up so he was sitting criss-cross applesauce. James mirrored him.

“What do you mean?” He felt electricity buzz throughout him.

“Do you not see him constantly looking at you and touching you?” Sirius asked, “If anyone else tried that they would be dead.”

“I mean,” James was disappointed, he already knew this, “It was probably all platonic. He could do that to anyone.”

“Trust me,” Sirius said, “I’m his brother, he would not do that to anyone.”

James gave Sirius a stare, “But you know that if I ever said something about it and he didn’t feel the same way then he would never talk to me again. I would rather be friends than nothing.” 

They were both silent for a minute.

“You could just tell him while you’re a little drunk?” Sirius suggested half-jokingly.

“Amazing plan.” James agreed wholeheartedly, “Can we do something for the Fourth of July here?”

“Yea that makes sense.” Sirius said thinking, “We should just invite a small group of people. That way if anything goes wrong you can still go to hang out with other people and you don’t have to clean up much in the morning.”

“Okay. I’ll text people.” James got up and left the room, closing the door behind him.

James: Lets do something for the fourth here

Mary: whats the invite situation

James: I think probably just this gc and reg can invite pandora barty and evan

Regulus: i can text them

Marlene: can i invite dorcas

James: Yes

Lily: marlene do you have anything you would like to share with the class

Marlene: shut up

Regulus: all of them said yes and barty asked if we want him to get anything

James: Tell him yes and that he can pick up the money whenever our next shift is

Regulus: got it

James: Cant wait

James could hear Sirius shout from the other room, “Real smooth, Romeo!”

He responded with, “Shut up!” and let out a loud chuckle.

~*~

James was on his bike. His board was strapped next to him and he was heading to the beach.

He was going to surf alone, to clear his head. All that James could think about was Regulus. It’s like it was consuming him. He couldn’t do anything without thinking of him. Any time he saw something green, which was the color that James had subconsciously associated with Regulus, he couldn’t help but wonder about what he was doing at that moment.

He needed to get over this. Regulus couldn’t like him. There was no way. 

But maybe Regulus did like him? That's what Sirius thought at least. But really, how would he know? They only grew up together and were almost inseparable most of their childhood?

Okay, maybe Sirius would know.

Everything still had the potential to crash and burn.

What would James even say? 

“Hi Regulus, my best friend’s brother who lives with me and my family, I’ve been in love with you ever since Sirius brought you to the playground with us that one time in fourth grade. I think about you all the time and am severely obsessed with you.”

That wouldn’t work. He would scare Regulus off.

James got to the beach and locked his bike to the rack on the boardwalk. He unstrapped his surfboard and walked down the stairs onto the sand. He let his mind wander.

James thought about the time they went to see his favorite band together, Cage the Elephant. They had a really fun time. Regulus and he got separated from the group in a merch line and were together for the majority of the concert.

James’ favorite song was being played but he missed it. He spent the whole time staring at Regulus, who was looking at him with a look of pure admiration. Or at least that's what James likes to think the look was.

Dancing around to that song got tiring and eventually James grabbed Regulus and leaned on him. He maneuvered the two so that Regulus was in front and James was behind him, wrapping his arms around him and resting his chin on Regulus’ head.

They spent the rest of the concert like that, pressed up against each other and swaying to the music. 

James doesn’t remember what songs they played or what the band did on stage after that. All he could remember was the feeling of Regulus.

Regulus.

Regulus.

Regulus.

James tried to shake the memory away. He realized that if he wasn’t going to stop being a wuss about this, then he had to get over it.

James noted that both were an impossible task.

If James was the Sun, then Regulus was nuclear fusion. That’s what keeps the Sun burning. James didn’t want to stop burning.

He caught a couple waves and did some tricks but eventually went home after an hour or two.