The leaky cauldron
“How did this happen and why wasn't I aware of this” Sirius made unintelligible hand gestures, Regulus simply rolled his eyes walking past him to greet Remus.
“Hey Regulus, how have you been?” Remus had to lean down to kiss his cheek and give him a quick hug. Sirius stayed still staring at the scene unfold.
“I´ve been good thanks, really happy with my new flat although the roommates are interesting for a lack of better words.”
Remus and James laughed at this. It was no secret that Regulus had followed his brother's footsteps leaving home but their similarities ended there, while one brother studied college with a sports scholarship and never looked back at school once he graduated. The other brother was pursuing a masters degree and possibly a doctorate.
But rooming at university was terrible, so Regulus had spent months looking at places near the school that weren´t ridiculously expensive yet he kept rejecting each and every one because of the people he would have to share with. Until he found one that he considered decent.
“Roommates can’t be worse than Kreacher,” James teased.
“You’d be surprised,” Regulus quipped, adjusting his perfectly pressed sweater. "At least Kreacher helped me."
Kreacher was the Black´s butler and that alone let you knohow filthy rich they were and what bith brothers had turned their backs on.
Sirius, meanwhile, was still frozen in disbelief. “I’m sorry, are you serious? That’s the baby whisperer? My little brother?”
Lily laughed as she walked in with a bottle of milk for Harry. “You didn’t know? Regulus visited us a few days after we brought Harry home from the hospital. He was amazing with him.”
Sirius put a hand to his chest, feigning deep offense. “And you didn’t think to tell me? I could’ve prepared for this betrayal!”
“Well Pads,” James said, rolling his eyes and shrugging at his antics “We figured you’d find out eventually.”
Regulus barely had time to register the comment before Sirius lunged, pulling him into a brotherly chokehold. “Come here, baby whisperer,” Sirius growled, ruffling Regulus’ carefully styled hair with his free hand.
“Get off me!” Regulus snapped, wriggling free and glaring at him, though there was a hint of a smile tugging at his lips.
The room watched with heldback laughs as Regulus fixed his hair, muttering something about him being younger yet the mature one out of them both.
“All right, all right,” James said, wiping tears of laughter from his eyes. “We should get going. Reggie, you good here?”
“Obviously,” Regulus deadpanned, holding up Harry’s favorite stuffed stag. “He’s in good hands.”
Lily silently smiled and hugged Regulus briefly on his way out.
The Leaky Cauldron was packed, as usual, but James managed to snag a cozy corner booth for the four of them. The air smelled faintly of whiskey and roasted nuts, and the dim lighting gave the bar an inviting warmth. Their drinks arrived almost immediately—a fruity cocktail for Sirius and James, whiskey for Lily, and a pint of beer for Remus.
Sirius raised his glass dramatically. “To Harry. One year down and many more to go. And to us—four adults who somehow survived it.”
“To Harry!” the others chorused, clinking their glasses together.
“Though I’ll admit,” James said after a sip, “I wasn’t sure we’d make it when Harry decided to scream non-stop for three nights in a row. I genuinely thought of taking him back to the hospital.”
“Don’t remind me,” Lily groaned, slumping in her seat. “That was the week I genuinely considered moving into a hotel.”
“And leaving us to deal with him?” Sirius said, pretending to be offended. “How rude.”
Remus smirked. “Don’t act like you weren’t the one whispering, ‘Just give him to the wolves,’ that time you had to babysit and he kept screaming at 2 a.m.”
James choked on his drink, laughing. “I forgot about that!”
Lily laughed before speaking “And that is why we are extremely grateful for Regulus. I don´t know how he controls Harry with such ease”
“He has magical powers love, he's great with babies and animals” James finished off his drink as he spoke.
Lily nodded and turned to stare dead serious at Remus and Sirius before she spoke “Really, If James was gay, I´d be obsolete, that's how good Regulus is.”
Remus threw his head back with laughter at Lily´s drunken statement but it was Sirius who answered after making terrible puking sounds.
“Thanks for that mental image Lil´s just what I needed tonight” he muttered as he drank.
“You'll never be obsolete babe. Come here.” James pulled Lily in close and they cuddled on their side of the booth. And as hard as Remus tried he couldn't help the pang of jealousy that hit him for a moment.
He wasn't jealous of Lily being married to James, God no, but he couldn't help but feel lonely or worse scared that the type of love his two friends shared was something that would never happen to him. And that truly hurt, so maybe that's why he happily ordered two more pints that he would definitely finish.
They slipped easily into reminiscence of their youth, and it didn’t take long for Sirius to start dragging out stories of his time with James at boarding school.
“You know, Lily, that´s just one of the many stories I have on James, I could go all night,” Sirius began, leaning forward with a devilish grin.
“Oh no,” James muttered, already regretting every decision that had led him to this moment.
“Do tell,” Lily said, clearly delighted. Her head leaning on her hand as she scorched forward.
“Remember the fancy boarding school we went to? Hogwarts?” Sirius asked, his eyes gleaming.
“Of course,” Lily rolled her eyes at that, she constantly teased James about it.
“Well, your dear husband was the mastermind behind some of the best—and dumbest—pranks that school has ever seen,” Sirius said.
“Not true,” James interrupted. “Sirius helped!”
“Sure,” Sirius conceded, “but you were the genius behind the frogs.”
“Frogs?” Lily asked, intrigued.
“Picture this,” Sirius said, gesturing dramatically. He was a great storyteller if nothing else. “It’s the day of our History exam. Neither of us has studied a single page of the workbooks. So what does James do? Smuggles just about a hundred frogs into Professor Binns desk the night before.”
Lily burst out laughing. “A hundred frogs?”
“Not my finest moment,” James admitted, his ears turning red.
“Oh, but the best part,” Sirius continued, “was the exam itself. Binns opened the desk, and the frogs just poured out. Croaking everywhere, jumping on people—it was chaos.”
“And we failed anyways,” James added sheepishly.
“Spectacularly, might I add” Sirius said, raising his glass in salute.
Lily shook her head, still laughing. “Why am I not surprised?”
“And don’t even get me started on the time Prongs here fell into the Lake,” Sirius added.
“That was your fault!” James shot back, pointing an accusing finger at him.
“Prongs, you’re the one who thought the ice was thick enough to walk on.”
“It looked thick!”
“You fell within two steps,” Sirius said, barely containing his laughter. “McGonagall had to dry you off herself until the nurse came with towels while you stood there, shivering like a wet cat.”
By now, Lily was laughing so hard she had to wipe tears from her eyes. “I can’t believe I married you,” she said, nudging James playfully.
James groaned, but his grin gave him away. “If you think that’s bad, you should ask Remus about the frat party.”
“Don’t,” Remus said quickly, his face already turning red.
“Oh, do,” Sirius said, leaning forward eagerly.
Lily grinned wickedly. “It was his first year at university, and he decided to sneak into a frat party—”
“Lily!” Remus hissed, but she ignored him.
“—where he made out with the basketball captain and did one of those upside-down beer-drinking handstands.”
Sirius’ jaw dropped, and James howled with laughter.
“That never happened,” Remus said, shaking his head vehemently.
“It absolutely happened,” Lily countered, pulling out her phone. “And I have proof.”
She held up a grainy video of Remus, shirt over his face, chugging beer upside-down while the crowd around him cheered.
“Oh my God,” Sirius said, his voice low with mock reverence. “Moony, you legend.”
Remus groaned, covering his face with his hands. “This is why I don’t drink with you people.”
“Too late for that,” Sirius teased, clapping him on the back.
They all took turns telling the most embarrassing stories they could think of the others and no one was left unscathed. At some point of the night The Leaky Cauldron’s back room had been turned into a karaoke stage, complete with microphones, a screen, and a lineup of enthusiastic patrons.
Sirius, naturally, was the first to grab the mic. “This one’s for anyone who’s ever had a terrible ex at some point in their life!”
The opening chords of So What by Pink blasted through the speakers, and Sirius strutted across the stage, belting out the lyrics with rockstar-level confidence. By the time he hit the chorus, the entire bar was clapping along.
James leaned over to Remus. “He’s been waiting his whole life for this moment.”
“You can tell,” Remus laughed then added “Although he’s surprisingly good,” Remus admitted as his lips twitched. “Please don´t tell him I said that, his head might explode.”
James nodded amused and extremly serious, though Remus highly doubted they´d even remeber this conversation tomorrow.
Next up, Sirius dragged James onto the stage for Hammer to Fall by Queen. The two of them turned the performance into a full-on air guitar battle, jumping around and pretending to be rock gods.
Lily laughed so hard she nearly spilled her drink. “You married that,” Remus said, gesturing to James’ enthusiastic headbanging.
“And I have no regrets,” Lily replied, raising her glass.
When it was her turn, Lily convinced James to sing Don’t Go Breaking My Heart by Elton John with her. Their duet was sweetly off-key, earning cheers and whistles from the crowd.
Finally, it was Remus’ turn. He hesitated, but after some coaxing from Lily and shots from James he took the stage.
He honestly hated karaoke but as drunk as he was he truly didn't care. He took the microphone grinning as the opening chords of Rebel Rebel filled the room.
Remus’ voice was surprisingly smooth. The way Remus moved, the way he smiled when he hit the chorus—it was effortlessly captivating.
By the time he finished, Sirius was practically vibrating with energy. “Moony, you absolute star!” he shouted, clapping loudly.
As the night wound down, Lily convinced Remus to join her for one last song: When I Kissed the Teacher by ABBA. Their harmonies were hilariously mismatched, but their enthusiasm more than made up for it.
By the time they stumbled out of the bar, arms slung around each other, they were exhausted but happy, already planning their next adventure. Lily loved with all her heart nights like this for a multitude of reasons: first off they had become rare since Harry appeared (not that she cared much, her son was her world, universe and air she breathed), two it reminded her that being a mother didn't mean she couldn't have fun and of course she loved having her friends around.
It made her feel like it didn't matter what happened to her parents or that her only sister turned her back on her or that she had no living relatives to call family, because she had formed her own little and maybe a bit dysfunctional but lovely family.
The night had worn them all down, their earlier energy replaced by the warm, cozy haze of tipsy exhaustion. By the time they stumbled back into the Potters’ house, Sirius and Remus were leaning against each other more out of laziness than camaraderie.
“You know what?” Lily announced as she dropped her bag on the counter. “It’s late, and you two are not driving anywhere in that state.”
“Agreed,” James chimed in, kicking off his shoes and immediately collapsing onto the sofa.
“We’re fine,” Sirius protested, though he was leaning on the back of a chair like it was the only thing keeping him upright.
“Sure you are,” Lily said with a knowing look, pulling out a stack of pillows and blankets from the linen closet. “Just stay here. We’ve got plenty of space.”
Sirius didn’t argue further, flopping onto the sofa with a groan of gratitude. Remus, however, hesitated. “I don’t want to impose—”
“Oh, shut it, Moony,” James said, waving him off.
Lily handed the blankets to Sirius, who made no effort to actually take them. “One of you can take the guest room,” she said. “The other can have the couch. Or…” She paused, her lips twitching into a smirk. “If you don’t mind sharing, you could just take the bed in the guest room together.”
James shot them a suggestive glance, his eyebrows waggling mischievously like a cartoon would.
Remus snorted, but the blush creeping up his neck betrayed him. “Very funny, James.”
“Just saying,” James said with a grin, pushing himself off the couch and heading for the stairs. “It’s a pretty big bed.”
Lily rolled her eyes, tugging him along. “Goodnight, boys. Try not to kill each other.”
“Or do,” James called over his shoulder. “Just clean up after!”
The moment the Potters disappeared upstairs, silence descended on the room. Remus and Sirius exchanged glances, neither of them eager to make the first move.
“Well,” Sirius finally said, breaking the tension. “The choice is obvious. You take the bed.”
Remus raised an eyebrow. “Why?”
“Because you’re taller, and your knee sucks,” Sirius replied, flopping onto the couch dramatically. “I’m a gentleman like that.”
Remus couldn’t help but smile. “Fair enough.”
He pulled out his phone, idly checking his notifications and scrolling through a few messages. Sirius watched him, his head propped on one arm of the couch, his gaze trailing up and down Remus’ figure. The low lighting made the angles of his face sharper, more defined, and Sirius found himself biting his lip without realizing it.
“So,” Sirius said, his voice casual but low enough to draw Remus’ attention. “Tonight was fun, wasn’t it?”
Remus looked up from his phone, smiling softly. “Yeah, actually. It was.”
“See? I’m not all bad,” Sirius teased, his grin lopsided.
“Debatable,” Remus replied, returning his focus to his phone as he set an alarm for the morning.
Sirius pushed himself upright, his heart picking up speed. He didn’t think; he just moved, crossing the room with that same reckless energy he carried into everything. Standing just a little too close to Remus, he smirked.
“You know,” Sirius said, his voice dropping into a lower, flirtier register. “It’s kinda hot in here, don’t you think?”
Remus didn’t look up, still distracted by his phone. “A bit. Though the house is pretty cool most of the time. Great insulation.”
Sirius rolled his eyes but didn’t back down. He reached out, plucking the phone out of Remus’ hands.
“Hey—”
“Shh,” Sirius said, his eyes wide and gleaming with mischief as he looked up at him. “I’m just saying… I had fun tonight. And I was thinking—what if we, you know…”
Remus blinked, confused. “What if we what?”
“You know,” Sirius said, gesturing vaguely between them. “Let’s just… do it. Once obviously.”
Remus froze. His brain caught up about two seconds too late, his eyes widening as the realization hit. “I’m sorry, what?”
“Look,” Sirius said, his grin lazy and confident, “you’re hot. I’m hot. And honestly? I get pretty horny when I drink. So, why not?”
Remus stared at him, his expression a mix of disbelief and barely concealed amusement.
“We could use each other,” Sirius continued, oblivious to—or ignoring—the growing irritation in Remus’ eyes. “Just this once. We fuck and never talk about it again. You go back to your little bookstore, I go back to my life, and boom—problem solved. Although,” he added with a wink, “I can’t promise you won’t dream about it after.”
For a moment, Remus said nothing, deeming Sirius intentions crystal clear: he wanted meaningless sex and Remus was just the closest one around. Then, slowly, he stepped forward, his lips quirking into a small, almost dangerous smile. Leaning down, he brought his mouth close to Sirius’ ear, his voice dropping to a whisper.
“Oh, I would love that, honey,” he murmured.
Sirius’ face lit up in surprise, his cheeks flushing a deep red as he took a step back. “Really?”
Remus straightened, his smile turning into a scoff. “Of course not, you pig. We’re in our best friends’ house, with their one-year-old asleep upstairs. Now go to sleep and enjoy your couch.”
Sirius blinked, too stunned to reply as Remus turned on his heel and walked away, the door to the guest room slamming shut behind him.
For a moment, Sirius just stood there. Then, slowly, a grin spread across his face.
“Bloody uptight,” he muttered, shaking his head as he threw himself onto the couch. Still, as he stared up at the ceiling, he couldn’t help but think about how good a fuck Remus would be—if only he weren’t so insufferably principled.