Hidden Away At All Costs
T’inquiète pas, ma chérie. It will pass, it always does.
That was what Odelia’s mother would always tell her during one of her episodes. It will pass. And that was really all you could do - just wait it out. Wait out the bad dreams that woke her night after night to the point where she felt that it would be better to not sleep at all. Standing before the mirror each morning, she would rub at the shadows around her eyes until the skin on her cheekbone almost began to bleed.
And in the meantime, Odelia jumped at every opportunity to distract herself that came her way - trying her best to catch Professor Sharp’s attention in and outside of class too, causing disruptions with Sebastian between lessons, and seeing how far the limits of her persuasive abilities stretched when it came to Adelaide’s friends. Her ankle throbbed at the memory. The more exuberant she acted, the less chance that anyone else might catch sight of what was going on inside - herself included.
Sebastian, of course, was delighted by this development. He was of the opinion that a moment not spent engaged in some exciting new exploit was time misused. By that logic, school itself was a complete and utter waste of time. So far they had explored the entirety of the outer wall surrounding the castle grounds and on one memorable occasion even scrambled partway down one of the cliffs it stood on, sometimes returning to their dorms as late as 2 or 3 o’clock in the morning.
But the lack of sleep was beginning to take its toll. Odelia had known that the dreams would come back. If only it hadn’t happened in her second week of school.
First it had been her parents, sitting together before the fireplace in their cottage. They stood up to greet her as she ran to hug them, but the moment she stretched out her hand they crumbled like dust in the wind. Then the kind old boulanger from the village below who would let her sit in his bakery and help make the madeleines. Then the children she used to play with when she first arrived, before they had become too afraid to go near her. Odelia hadn’t thought about them in years. Pierre, Joséphine, and of course Coralie, whom Adelaide reminded her so much of. Finally it was her parents again but this time dressed in all of the finery which befitted their standing. Behind them stretched countless generations of Blacks, their faces shrouded in shadow. The jewels they all wore shone so brightly - too brightly - and as she covered her eyes a breeze blew right the room and they all fell apart.
By the fifth night Odelia knew what to expect. She ran as fast as her younger legs would allow up the sweeping staircase of the family manor house, but tripped, and fell among the soft folds of her dress.
“Is something the matter?” asked the boy sitting on the steps beside her. She pushed her hair away from her face and glared at him.
“No. Go away.”
“It sounded as though you fell pretty badly. What are you running from?”
“It’s difficult to explain…” she said with a sign, cupping her hands around her face. They were both only eight after all. Eight year olds would struggle to understand.
“Well I’m a good listener, that’s what everyone says.”
He reached out to take her hand. Fear spread through every part of her body - it was freezing cold and burned at the same time. How could the boy possibly understand what would happen if he tried to help? She sprang to her feet and jumped back.
“No! If you come near me again I’ll have you bound and left in the cellar!” Tears formed in her eyes but luckily he could not see them. “I mean it - GO AWAY!”
Sobbing, she sprinted up the steps, yet somehow missed one and fell through the carpet, only landing when she hit her bed.
-----------------------
“Odelia.” Ominis’ composed voice broke through her thoughts. “Is something the matter?” Odelia blinked. She was sitting at dinner with Ominis and Sebastian, the latter of whom was looking mildly annoyed at being interrupted during one of his stories.
“I’m fine. Why wouldn’t I be?”
“You’ve been acting strange all week.”
She gaped at him in disbelief. The audacity!
“First of all, what business is it of yours how -”
“Look mate,” Sebastian insisted, “she said she’s fine. Now about those Bubotubers -”
“It’s my business when how you are feeling is leading you to behave in reckless ways that could potentially have serious consequences.”
Odelia clenched her hands into fists and stood, not wanting to remain next to him. Her vision swam from fury and fatigue. “Who are you to get a say in my behaviour?” she hissed, leaning down to close the distance. “And what makes you think you know me well enough to decide what is ‘strange’, perhaps I’m always like this?”
Not wanting to hear a reply, she shoved the table back in anger and stormed out of the Great Hall.
My, my, what will people think of that little outburst…?
Shut up!
Past the chamber in which the house hourglasses stood proudly displayed was the Entrance Hall, and tucked away to the side of one of the flights of stairs was a less-known way into the Slytherin Dungeon. It was that entrance that Odelia took, ran down the spiral staircase, through a corridor and to the girls bathroom, slamming the door of a stall shut behind her. She crouched down on the floor, wrapping her arms around her knees.
For goodness sake. Did you really have to react like that? He just wanted to know if you were okay.
He’s gone and spoiled it all.
What gave it away? No one else had noticed.
How should I know! I HATE him!
You hate him because he is nice?
Yes.
Tears had begun to trickle down her cheeks, and left an over-salty taste in her mouth. Odelia knew how irrational this was, but how could anyone in this situation be expected to behave normally. Ever since looking into that stupid pensieve, nothing had felt right. She sat there, still, until the thumping of her heart began to hurt a bit less in her chest.
It will pass, chérie, it will pass.
And so pushing her feelings aside and wiping the tears off her face, she made her way back to her dorm to get ready to meet Adelaide.
-----------------------
Richard Jackdaw had certainly not helped to improve Odelia’s mood. Having to listen to the inane stream of upbeat babble which poured out of his mouth was rage-inducing, and any attempt she had been making to put aside her anger for Adelaide was quickly swept away by pent-up frustration.
Okay, if she was being fair, then he wasn’t actually doing much wrong. Deep deep down, a logical part of her brain told her that there were many different things contributing to these tidal waves of emotion. But blaming one person at a time was easier than being logical. And at that moment it was easiest to blame the ghost’s sly, knowing smile.
So Odelia had walked off as quickly as she could, unsure of her ability to contain herself and not wanting Adelaide to be a witness should she fail. Only when Jackdaw was gone was she able to take a breath and compose herself, just in time to see her friend come down the forest path. Adelaide’s kind eyes were expectant; Odelia really didn’t want to have to explain herself. Far better to just move on.
“The waterfall,” she began, trying to school her features into neutrality. “For a thief, Jackdaw’s surprisingly as good as his word.” Wincing slightly, she waited for Adelaide’s reply - disparaging the ghost as a thief maybe wasn’t the best thing to do.
He is one though! He stole my family ring.
The Hufflepuff smiled, and lightly continued the conversation. Odelia liked that about her. They wandered along the trail until they reached the lake, fireflies dancing through the stillness over the shimmering water. One day, a shining stag would stand at the other shore - just visible through the haze. She watched as it pawed at the ground, then raised its head to look right at her.
Odelia reached out a hand as if she could touch it, then, blinking back tears, turned away. Whoever would one day cast it must have been so very loved. Suddenly not everything was as hopeless.
She grinned at Adelaide and skipped the rest of the way, overcome by the temptation to dance around the birdbath in delight when it finally appeared. There it was - just as Jackdaw had described it. And there was the entrance to the tomb too, once they’d whispered the password.
But it seemed that they were not the only ones who were interested in exploring Jackdaw’s tomb tonight. The moment the crack of someone, or even multiple someones, apparating nearby had sounded, Odelia had dragged Adelaide out of the clearing where they wouldn’t be seen. Looking into her friend's guileless face, it was clear that the other girl hadn’t noticed a thing. It would be far better if it remained that way.
So she leaned in and looked directly into - or rather - through Adelaide’s eyes.
“I have to make sure it’s safe.”
-----------------------
Gritting her teeth with the effort of keeping Adelaide’s consciousness fixed in place, Odelia crept through the trees around the edge of the tomb. It wasn’t at all as though she was stealing her memories. That would be wrong. This, however, was more like a pause. It was no big deal - she had done it many times before. Even for things as silly as making sure Imelda did not wake up before she had a chance to leave the dorm.
Yet it was more difficult now. Her own vision was overlaced by a memory of another night - another clearing like this one, but on the shore of a lake, thick black smoke moving through the long grass. Three different realities to keep separate.
A goblin made his way towards the tomb, then two more joined him. Odelia watched them, waiting. She had a pretty good idea of why they were here, however it couldn’t hurt to be sure.
Their leader sneered, and kicked the birdbath. “Come out, come out little girl! Aren’t you a little far from home? Ranrok knew you’d eventually lead us to whatever it is you’re hiding.”
She exhaled. There it is. You can’t risk those loyalists reporting back to Ranrok.
Raising her wand and stepping out of the trees behind them, Odelia allowed herself a sneer of her own. “What was that you called me?”
The goblins shouted, turning to face her and raising their long-fingered hands. The first one to cast a flicker of a spell was incinerated - instantly - by blue flames that burned cold.
At least all of that anger is proving useful for something…
The remaining goblins stopped in their tracks, dumstruck. Ranrok had obviously not told them what they were getting themselves into.
A smile stretched across her face. “This ‘little girl’ is not going to let you leave alive.”
-----------------------
Odelia followed Adelaide through the tunnels of the tomb in silence. Ranrok couldn’t be allowed to find out any more than he already knew about Ancient Magic - Professor Fig had said so. But this secret was beginning to leave a pile of corpses in her wake, wherever she went.
And the spiders they encountered down in the dark passageway were no exception. Looking down at the shells of the once - but no longer - living creatures she could not help but see other bodies lying broken in the dust along with them. Her parents, her childhood friends, the vague outline of the boy from her dream. Her grandmother. And others too, strange men in dark jackets and masks covering their faces. Odelia couldn’t remember who they were but she was certain that she had been responsible for their deaths.
Adelaide had surprised her though. Impressed her in fact. The Hufflepuff was made of far sterner stuff than she seemed. Odelia’s first instinct had been to run, but Adelaide had stood her ground and blasted them back one by one.
She’s incredibly brave. Much braver than you are.
And now Adelaide was the one who had immediately gone to investigate the archway. Odelia joined her, somewhat reluctantly, though trying her best not to show it. There was something strange going on, focussing on it gave her double vision. She had not been surprised in the least when the doors swung open and the realities resolved themselves.
But then it had all gone wrong. Adelaide stood there, so alive with her cheeks and nose still pink from the cold.
Not another dead body. Not her.
So Odelia shoved her through the arch, then slammed the invisible doors shut.
Now she’s safe.
You’re not…
Drawing in a long and painful breath, Odelia turned and walked slowly across the bridge. It was evident that whatever it was that had killed Jackdaw would not do the same to her. Not while her magic had a say in the matter. But it didn’t stop the dread.
Is this going to be like Gringotts?
No. This time you're prepared.
The chamber that the bridge led into was dazzling - bronze patterns snaking through the crystal blue. Enormous columns stretched into the ceiling and stationed by their bases were statues of warriors, as if waiting to escort her along.
And there was Jackdaw! Or what was left of him rather. Wrinkling her nose, she passed her hands over the skeleton feeling for the pages. They were indeed there, as promised, but nothing else of interest. A shame, that.
Brushing off her tunic, she stood, and surveyed the rest of the room. The doorway had vanished - it was too late to turn back - surely another exit could be found. A curious structure, like a spiral, was positioned at the opposite end. Oh well, the only way was forward. Odelia began to step forward, the statues following her every movement.
Another exit, sure. But only once you’ve passed through this twisted trap.
“Perhaps it would be better if you did not return? Better, safer for other people… and I doubt anyone would even notice.”
She sucked in a startled breath. Who said that?
“Everyone says that behind your back. Or haven’t you noticed yet?”
Noticed what?
“That people only pretend to like you, of course.”
No, you’re wrong. I have friends.
“Oh really? Let’s take a look shall we. Sebastian - only wants to be around you because you are the new, interesting thing, and he is bored. Soon he’ll grow tired of it and leave.”
Covering her ears with the palms of her hands, Odelia focussed on putting one foot in front of another.
“Adelaide is kind to everyone. But she’ll go as soon as she knows who you really are.”
The voices were calm, reassuring. They spoke like someone you could trust.
“And I don’t even need to mention Ominis. He barely tolerates you as it is, and now that you’ve shouted at him I doubt he’ll keep up the act for much longer.”
She stopped in the middle of the room, tears pouring silently down her face. The statues were right, everyone hated her. A belt was tightening around her chest, constricting her lungs. Every gasp drew in nothing but emptiness.
“Professor Fig is a teacher, you are nothing more to him than part of his job. And if he knew where your parents are at this moment, if he knew what you did to -”
Red sparks shot out of the end of her wand, burning the hand which was gripping it. Odelia shrieked and dropped it, the wand rolled along the cold, polished floor. It was as though she had been underwater where everything was distorted and moved in slow motion, and had now reached the surface. Without waiting to give them the chance to get back into her head, she scooped up her wand from where it lay and sprinted as fast as her legs could carry her to the sculpture. One touch, and she fell backwards, landing on the floor of a chamber much like the previous one except for the four enormous frames which adorned the wall. And that was not all. A double set of stairs led to a door. A door! As Odelia got to her feet and ran towards it, only one thing was on her mind.
Adelaide.
-----------------------
It was pitch-black outside by the time she found Adelaide, just outside the main entrance to the castle grounds. As it turned out Odelia had been allowed to leave the room with no problems, though she had half-expected the door not to open. And the passage had led straight to Hogwarts.
But Adelaide sobbed, and sobbed, clutching her as if in disbelief that she was really there.
“I don’t understand,” she whispered, shaking all over. “Delly, you have to explain!”
“It was nothing, really.” Odelia tried to guide her gently back towards the school, but all of a sudden Adelaide pulled sharply away.
“Delly.” Her voice was stronger now. “Explain.”
They stood in silence, both waiting for the other to speak. Odelia ran through all the choices in her head, all the ways this could end. The voice floated through as well, intertwining with her own thoughts.
She’ll go as soon as she knows who you really are.
“Okay,” Odelia breathed. “Okay, I’ll tell you everything.”
And taking Adelaide by the hand, she pulled her across the grass and into one of the storage areas in the castle wall that she and Sebastian had unlocked earlier in the week. They sat down together on the damp ground.
Odelia looked intently at her. “You know how when we were exploring Jackdaw’s tomb we found that archway?”
Adelaide nodded, tears still shining on her face. “Yes of course.”
“Well, that didn’t happen.”
There was a horrible pause. Adelaide began to protest. “What do you mean -”
“No, Adelaide.” Odelia grasped her friend by the shoulders, forcing them to lock eyes. “It didn’t happen.”
All the life went out of the girl, Odelia caught her before she hit the floor. Cradling her head in her lap, she whispered, “We left the tomb. We didn’t find anything. We came back to the castle. You are my friend.”
At the last sentence, her voice broke. She cleared her throat and tried again.
I’m so so sorry. I had no choice.
“You are my friend.”