Rapid knocking on the door awoke Remus from his restless sleep, this time he had actually drifted to sleep, he wasn't sure how long it had been since he had a real night's rest, but sleep seemed meaningless when you had nothing to wake for. He pushed himself off the couch he had been sprawled out on, it was one of the only pieces of furniture in the sparse room, the only other thing was a worn out telly that he kept running at all hours, a vain attempt to drown out the deep sense of loneliness that consumed his every waking second. Remus had been alone before, he had spent his childhood from ages five to eleven isolated from children his age, but this hurt more, so much more, it made him wish he had never known love, for then at least he wouldn't have it to miss. His wand gripped tightly in his hand, he crossed the small apartment he had been renting for the last two months. It was a shitty, old apartment in south london, the neighbours were loud (and muggle), the ceiling leaked when it rained, there was no fireplace to light a fire, and it being late december that could be a real inconvenience at times. He looked through the peephole, Mary. He unbolted the door, and there she stood, the expression on her face mimicked how he felt, exhausted. The past couple months had taken a toll on both of them, aged them far past their years. The loss was consuming, the “what-ifs” haunting. Mary greeted Remus with a curt nod before walking in. Remus closed the door behind her and led her to another room, a small, also sparse, kitchen with only a rickety table and two mis-matching chairs, he pulled out a chair for her though she didn't sit, she stood at the edge of the room tightly gripping onto her purse that hung from her shoulder, she looked as though she’d rather be anywhere but here. This room was much like the last, messy and dull, the table was stacked with bills he would never pay, and newspapers going back months that he didn't ever read. The sink piled high with old dishes that spilt over on the nearby counters, never to be done. Remus crossed the kitchen and filled up the kettle and put it on the stove. He took out two clean mugs from a top cabinet and extended one towards her, silently offering her some tea. She shook her head. Remus faced away from her and leaded on the stove in front of him, the intense heat from the fire burned his hands, yet he didn't pull away. Instead, he found the warmth strangely comforting.
“Why aren't you with your family? It's Christmas after all.” Remus questioned, he was glad he wasn't looking towards her as he knew his face would give away his feelings, his envy that she still had someone to go to, not even his own father had sent him a letter, perhaps he too had given up on him.
“Oh, yeah. I'm on my way there now, well after this. I just wanted to talk to you, one last time.” Mary replied in a voice Remus imagined she thought was steady but in reality was broken.
“One last time?” He asked as he turned to face her, she was looking down at her feet to avoid his questioning stare, likely trying to hatch a plan to escape his cruddy apartment as fast as possible.
“I'm going home. And staying.” She revealed, now looking at the mess of a table that stood between them.
Realisation hit Remus, she was giving up magic. He had thought about it, leaving society and joining the muggles, but obviously it wasn't realistic, not for him at least.
“Leave.” He said at once, with no explanation though he was really craving a cigarette like he always had when he got stressed but he couldn't smoke anymore, not since that had happened, cigarettes reminded Remus too much of him, and he tried avoiding thinking of him as much as possible. Everything was still so raw and painful as when Mary had first called him to tell him what happened.
“Oh Remus!” She shrieked and took a few steps towards him, tears streamed down her face,
“Get out now.” He demanded, anger boiled up inside him like a volcano waiting to explode, anger that was surely unjustified, he knew that she didn't deserve this, it had to have been jealousy, likely due to the fact that she was able to make such a drastic choice as giving up her whole life, a choice he’d never be able to make because of his lycanthropy.
She looked defeated in a way that immediately made Remus want to apologise and beg her to not leave him alone, but he couldn't. The kettle whistle and hissed loudly as Mary glared at him with a look of such deep sorrow and anger, her eyes glistened with tears, and Remus knew. Knew that she wouldn't survive if she stuck around, he knew he had to let her go. The two glared at each other silently, the only sound was the kettle that Remus had yet to remove from the stove, something had broken between them, something he knew would never be fixed. Had it been different circumstances it would have seemed completely unexpected, Mary spun on her heels and rushed out the apartment, slamming the door behind her, leaving Remus alone once more.