Chapter 10
There were many times Remus hated his lycanthropy; the glaringly obvious of which would be when he was bitten at the age of five. Because of his affliction, his parents kept him away from the wizarding world for fear of discrimination, though it made no difference when he was bullied relentlessly for his scars in muggle school.
Entering Hogwarts was an unknown dream come true for Remus, and he did everything in his power to ensure that he would never be asked to leave. He listened well, he studied hard, and most of all, he followed the rules; until his secret was exposed to the Marauders.
He had been afraid that they would be afraid of him, he had been afraid that they would tell on him, and most of all, he had been afraid that he would lose the first friends he had ever made. So, Remus did the obvious, he forced himself to fit in with them.
He played pranks on his schoolmates, he skipped out on lessons when they asked him to, he stood by and watched as his friends bullied the other students. He enjoyed himself, the majority of the time, but sometimes, he too, knew that they had crossed a line. Anyhow, Remus never stepped in, not even while he was a prefect, and to this day, it was a guilt that never left him.
For the past five years, he juggled his parts as the perfect student, the perfect friend, the secret werewolf, that he forgot what it was like to be Remus Lupin. He lost himself in the process of playing a part, and it took the least expected person to bring the real Remus Lupin back to him.
Barty Jr. Barty, whose fingers were perpetually ice cold despite the warmth of his lips. Barty, who was equal parts deranged and gentle, that it boggled with his mind ever so often. Barty, who was the loudest twat he had ever encountered, but yet so silent when he needed it most. It was Barty Jr. that finally brought Remus Lupin back to the surface in Sixth Year.
He had only ever been himself in front of Barty. Maybe it was attributed to the initial dislike against the other, but Remus had never once seen the need to hide himself from the other, perhaps lycanthropy aside. He could swear at him, he could curse at him, and still, Barty was there. They fought, without regards for each other’s safety, for each other’s feelings, and still, they remained in each other’s company.
Barty was the first in Hogwarts to see the real Remus. He was the first of whom Remus was comfortable enough with to let loose, to bend the rules just slightly enough that he still got a thrill, but didn’t need to fear the repercussions. He didn’t push for answers, didn’t question his actions, and he simply accepted Remus for Remus.
Remus watched, in pitch black darkness, as Barty ran his fingers along the scars on his arm. It was one of those times that he didn’t detest his affliction, when his sense of sight were still heightened enough to see in the dark immediately after the Full Moon. The biting cold touch of his fingers soothed the fiery burn from beneath his scarring skin, and Remus wondered if Barty knew how much he had actually done for him that year.
He followed the finger that was running up his arm, watching as his brows creased and furrowed as the scars branched out into diverting routes. Whenever Remus would flinch from the touch, Barty’s eyes would widen in surprise as he bit down harder on his lower lip, and it was only a hint of how far his emotions ran behind closed doors.
It brought a smile to his face, watching the other’s face twist with emotions under the shadowy veil of the night, and Remus’ heart swelled in his chest. He had found a friend, a companion, and most of all, he had found himself, in the unlikeliest of people, and he hoped that Barty got to be Barty when he was with Remus. It was the least he could do for him, for the boy who brought him back to himself.