Anxiety
Clarke was sweating so badly she feared she was going to ruin her makeup. Raven had given away a piece of art she had drawn… Raven's only defence was saving it from the garbage when she moved out of the apartment her mother paid for during the first year of college and into a place that would later get condemned.
Abby had paid for her first year of what she believed to be medical school. Then she visited, which Clarke didn’t expect, and well… She soon found out she wasn't going to NYU persay….
Then she found herself cut off financially. The money she was promised from her fathers insurance to pay for school was being held back until her 21st. At least she wasn’t forced into an institution… That had been a fun couple years of homeschooling and medication until her hormones levelled out. Early presentation hormonal disorder…Topped with anxiety, and depression.
Not many people made friends in a place like that…. So she focused on the only thing that distracted her. Art. The pain of losing her father a year before she started to present. She didn’t blame her mother for her decision. She was safe there, and got to work with artists every week. She also got positive reinforcement and treatment. Her mother had been absent even before her fathers death.
Now she was in her final year of college. Had really solid friends, a stable job at the museum, and had a chance at showcasing her art in one of the biggest new talent galleries in New York. Big names would be here, and they all had curated pieces that could easily be transferred to a different gallery or be part of a modern art exhibit in a museum.
Pike… The museum curator that she worked for would be in attendance. He had danced around the idea of renting her work, but he wanted something in return. He likely wanted her work for less than she paid to create the pieces as well.
Since Raven told her she had sold her first piece, and it wasn’t part of her series, she had been in next level panic mode. It wouldn’t have been so bad if it was to be hung up in someone's home, or an office building. No… It was going to be an album cover for a pretty popular band. Which meant it would be featured in pop culture magazines.
Thank goodness she didn’t have a phone, or she would be freaking out more. Clarke had refused a phone, and refused to spend her time searching pointless things. It saved her a lot of money every month, and her sanity. She used to fret too much over how she looked and felt, and one therapist at a zero tek retreat she went on convinced her to get rid of it all. She kept her laptop for school and that was it.
Everyone knew of Trigeda though. Another Kiss like makeup band. Thankfully they had better hair, or in one of their cases no hair. All of them wore warpaint though, and she may have enjoyed a few of their tracks, and sketched them with weapons instead of instruments once for a highschool project because her teacher at the time loved the band.
Now according to Raven she was going to meet them. They were coming to her show. Her friend had also managed to get her and Octavia tickets to watch SNL this weekend. So her schedule was packed, and now that she had a few moments to herself she was freaking out.
She saw Pike coming for her across the gallery, but pretended not to see him and quickly walked over to get a drink. When she turned around to see if he was following that was when she bumped into someone who was taking a step back from the bar.
“I’m so sorry,” she said.
The woman smelt like a pine forest. It was just the scent she was trying to create for one of her paintings but couldn’t get right. She noticed her jeans first. Most people wore dresses or slacks, but she wore jeans. The Alpha caught her doing exactly the same thing and they shared a laugh, and Clarke felt her anxiety slowly melt away.
“Can I buy you a drink?” the laidback Alpha in a The Cure lovecats themed T shirt asked.
Clarke laughed softly, and tried to cover it up with a bashful smile. She didn’t want it to seem like she had been making fun of the woman for what she was wearing. She was a fan of 80s music. Her dad loved it and had a huge collection. The song was also featured in DEBS which is a must see for any sexually questioning females, according to Raven.
“I think you could buy me the bar and it wouldn’t be enough,” Clarke said. “Sorry. I’m nervous. I don’t know why I said that.”
The woman smiled. “Because you're nervous,” the woman with the most beautiful green eyes said. “Have you seen much of the art yet?” The Alpha asked as she leaned over the bar holding a 50 dollar bill. The woman looked between her and the bartender, and then smiled. She was clearly seeing who would answer her first. Her smile was teasing, and inviting. It showed her perfect teeth, and a plump pair of kissable lips.
“I have seen some pieces,”Clarke decided, and when the woman looked at her to get her order for the bartender Clarke leaned in. “White wine please,” Clarke said. It wasn’t her drink of choice, but it was the one that wouldn’t make her stand out in a crowd of potential buyers.
“If it’s alright with you I want to show you a piece I found. I could have stood there for hours, but… Like you I felt nervous and made a beeline for the bar.” The woman smiled. “But I didn’t run someone over on my haste for a drink,” she said and her left eyebrow raised at her in mocking judgement.
Something compelled her to stay close to this stranger who smelled like a crisp morning. Clarke nodded her head, and extended her arm out for the woman to lead the way. When she moved past her Clarke looked around for her friends, and noticed Pike trying to follow her, but Clarke mouthed sorry and pointed at the back of the Alpha who was walking towards the sunnier more lively displays.
To Clarke’s surprise the Alpha led her to her own painting. Seeing it through someone else’s eyes was something she hadn’t quite felt before. At least not like this. The woman hadn’t even told her her name, but she was telling her all about how the painting made her feel.
“Look. This box is adding sound, and there must be a diffuser in there as well, because I can smell salt. It feels like I am right there. On the beach it’s deserted apart from a beautiful blonde, and we are the only two people there, and not surrounded by a hundred other people trying to find a new piece of art to showcase at their next dinner party,” the Alpha said.
A warm hand touched her back. She felt when the woman hesitated upon touching her skin. Clarke felt a sudden jolt as well. Then she could smell the forest, and she wanted to take the woman over to her other painting. If she liked the beach, she may like the Woods.
“I think there are a couple more like this? Care to take a stroll through the woods?” Clarke asked.
“I’m Lexa by the way,” the woman said.
“Clarke,” she said, turning to face her.
For a few moments or a few minutes she was alone with the Alpha. She walked her slowly over to the other piece she had done. The one Lexa’s scent encapsulated perfectly. They spoke about the pieces they passed and she was surprised to know the woman actually felt something in response to seeing some of the artwork, and that made her heart beat faster as they approached her next few pieces.
“Wow. Look at that buck,” Lexa said.
It was nearly half of its actual size. The animal was taking a drink from the water of a rock lined creek. It was morning, the sun was trying to creep on through the fog. There was also actual fog rolling in with the scent of the woods. All the work used up a lot of green, but none of it was her new favourite shade.
“What do you think?” Clarke asked when Lexa moved on from the large middle piece.
Each one had some sort of wildlife on display. One had a woodpecker. A lower one had a beaver working on the dam further up the stream. In another there was a squirrel, and below there was a family of rabbits in a den underneath an oak tree. Moss grew heavily on the trees, and plant life was in abundance.
“I love it,” Lexa said. “I can’t help but notice there is no name of the artist,” Lexa said.
Clarke pointed over to a woman in a purple dress. “That is Diana Sidney. Head of the arts department. If anyone wants a piece for personal or gallery use they have to see her. The artists are on loan just as much as their work, and since they created them for a final project the school thinks they own them,” Clarke explained.
“That sucks,” Lexa said. “Do you know any of the artists?” Lexa asked her.
“One or two,” Clarke said.
“Do you know who created this piece?” Lexa asked. “I’d like to buy it.”
She looked Lexa up and down. She wasn’t quite sure if she could afford it. She had named a parting price for them. Raven had given her the advance for the piece of art she sold and she immediately bought back her artwork from the school. It was a shitty situation, but she would rather be the one renting out her own works than them.
“Anyone wishing to purchase has to see Diana Sidney. Purple dress. 10 o’clock,” Clarke said, pointing to her once more.
Lexa slammed back her drink, and then nodded to her. “I’m going to speak to her. Where can I find you? Can I get your number?” Lexa asked.
“I actually don’t give out my number. In fact my phone really only has the option of calling 911 and the uber app. I try to stay pretty off the grid,” Clarke said.
The Alpha had a confused look on her face, but shook off whatever it was she was going to say. “I don’t really need to see the person I came here to see. I mean… I met someone I would much rather hang out with. How about we do a final lap, you can see who you need to see and I can speak to Sidney about the pieces I wish to purchase.”
Clarke saw Raven speaking to a woman in a red dress. She was really talking to her. The woman wasn’t getting a word in. There was a familiar blonde haired woman in a crop top near them glaring at her friend, but Clarke ignored them, and looked for Octavia who she found sitting on a bench speaking to a man in Monk's garb and a bald head…. Well they did live in New York.
Would it be so bad to just leave? Raven had sold the piece. She got the money. She didn’t need to see her. Being with Lexa seemed to ease her anxiety a bit. Thinking about meeting the members of a famous band made her nervous, and her fight and flight was telling her to misbehave.
“Or we can leave now,” Clarke suggested. Her anxiety was speaking for her.
Lexa looked between her and Sidney and groaned. The Alpha pulled out her phone and she heard the telltale sign of a message being sent. Then Lexa pocketed her phone and extended an arm out to her.
“I haven’t been to New York in awhile. Is it still cliche to take a romantic stroll through central park?” Lexa asked.
Clarke laughed, as she smiled. The Alpha was hitting on her, and had one of the prettiest faces Clarke had ever seen. She wouldn’t be able to sleep later, she would be busy drawing it, and then mixing paints to get the color of her eyes just right. Damn it she was beautiful.
“Only if there is ice cream,” Clarke winked.
She laughed as Lexa grabbed her hand and led her out the back entrance. The Alpha looked around outside, and frowned. Clarke grabbed her hand and tugged her along towards the nearest subway station.
“I don’t have a card,” Lexa said.
She opened up her purse and pulled out her transit pass, and pressed it twice against the scanner. Clarke grabbed the Alpha’s hand and pulled her along. Lexa kept up with her hurried pace.
“What’s the rush?” Lexa asked with a smile on her face.
Clarke laughed. “I’m leaving my gallery opening, and blowing off some important people who will probably be pretty pissed off.”
“Then let’s go back,” Lexa said, stopping her.
“No,” Clarke smiled, and felt happy about her decision. “I’ve never felt more free and I want to figure out if it's because of you, or if it's me. I will also probably never see you again so… I wish to live for the moment,” Clarke said.
“It’s not just you,” Lexa said and stepped down a step and then leaned down to kiss her. Clarke heard the train coming in, and broke off the kiss.
“Come on. We have to hurry,” she said, pulling the Alpha along.
When she got a seat on the train the Alpha looked at how much further they had to go before sitting down beside her. Lexa pulled her legs up onto her lap turning her in her seat. She always tried to sit near an end seat. It was a quirk of hers. She liked always being near an exit wherever she was. She did the same on buses, and normally within buildings she hadn’t been in before.
This time she leaned in to kiss her. One stop had them breaking apart, and when the train started again so did they. Clarke felt her heart rate pick up as she devoured Lexa’s lips. Every touch of Lexa’s fingers over the bare skin of her back had her body heating up. If they weren’t in such a public area she would be begging the Alpha to take her.
“We need to stop,” Lexa said, pulling back from their kiss. She was panting, and out of breath. Or was that her. She felt Lexa’s hard cock beneath her feet and looked up to see Lexa watching their path along the subway. Her eyes were big, and she could smell anxiety coming from the Alpha which wasn’t at all how she smelt earlier.
Oh… They really did need to stop. They were nearly there. Clarke wiggled so that she was on top of Lexa, and then stood up when the train came to a stop and pulled Lexa with her. Clarke kept right in front of her, and Lexa kept a hand on her hip.
She spun Lexa against the wall and then stepped in the space between her legs and rested her head against her chest. “Sorry,” Clarke said. “I got carried away.” She really wasn’t sorry about the reaction she got from the Alpha. Lexa was still hard a few minutes after the train left the station.
“You make me want to drag you back to my hotel. But I mean we should have a proper third date don’t you think?” Lexa asked.
“Third date?” Clarke was confused. If anything this was a first date.
Lexa smiled at her, and kissed her softly pushing her away from the wall. “On our first date we went to the beach and watched the waves crash against the sand. One our second date. We went hiking. You clearly expected to go out for dinner, since we didn’t do the cliche dinner on the first date. Now it's the third and we are going on a walk through central park.”
Clarke smiled. No one had ever made her feel the way that Lexa was making her feel. It was like she already knew her so well. She was silly, attractive, a great kisser, and her smile made her want to smile.
“We always seem to stay so active on our dates. I mean we had to walk all the way down the beach to get to the best viewpoint. Then the hike through the woods. Maybe we save the marathon for the fifth date?” Clarke asked.
“Depends on the kind of marathon you have in mind,” Lexa winked, and then caught sight of a man selling ice cream. “I’m buying,” the Alpha said, pulling out another $50 bill from her wallet.
“Mint chocolate chip, with a scoop of chocolate on top,” Clarke said to the man.
“In waffle bowls,” Lexa said.
“I prefer the sugar cone,” Clarke said, stopping the man.
Lexa’s expression softened when she looked at her. “The lady would prefer the sugar cone. So I guess I will have one as well. Strawberry and Vanilla in layers please,” Lexa added and she looked so child-like it was adorable. “Yeah. Just like that,” she said to the man when he took small scoops of each flavor and slowly stacked Lexa’s ice cream cone. The Alpha left him with a fifty and smiled when she took the first bite of her ice cream.
“The sugar cone is just classic. The waffle bowls tend to get a little stale. Sugar cones are always fresh. Well… Full or preservatives,” Clarke said.
“I trust you,” Lexa said and Clarke felt like she meant it.
“How long are you in New York for?” Clarke asked after a few minutes of walking to break the silence.
Lexa took a minute to respond. She wiped away the ice cream and took a sip of the water she also purchased before offering it to her. She should drink some water. She didn’t finish the glass of wine, but she hadn’t drank in a while so water was her friend.
“A few days,” the Alpha said. “Until Monday morning at least.”
Okay so until monday… Somehow thinking about how little time they had made her dread the weekend. Lexa seemed to sense her anxiety and pulled her in for a kiss. “I can make time to see you. We can schedule something right now, or you can just give me your number,” Lexa smiled as she pulled out her phone.
“If I had a cellphone number I wouldn’t give it out until at least the fourth date,” Clarke said.
Lexa laughed and smiled again. “Good. I wouldn’t want to lose you as we run our marathon.”
“Who said anything about running,” Clarke smiled as she leaned forward to kiss Lexa. She pulled away remembering the Alphas earlier problem and put some distance between them. She enjoyed some of her ice cream and watched as Lexa followed her. Clarke paused and then Lexa walked ahead of her and did the same. It was like some sort of game. Both of them couldn’t keep their eyes off of one another.
“Ah. The zoo. Have you been?” Lexa asked when they got near that part.
“I am not really a fan of animals in captivity,” Clarke said honestly, not afraid of her own opinion.
“How do you feel about carriage rides?” Lexa asked and then hailed down a driver pulling out more money from her wallet and helping her up into the carriage.
Clarke really didn’t get to voice an opinion on carriage rides. She got in and Lexa wrapped her arm around her and kissed her slowly. The Alpha didn’t push for more, and it was soft, slow, and perfect. They broke apart a few times, and Clarke smiled as she looked at the Alpha in her band t.
“Who wears a band T to an art gallery opening,” Clarke teased.
“You got me back clearly. Since you dressed so fancy for our hike in the woods, you told me casual,” Lexa said, playing into the earlier scenario they built up.
“No… Seriously,” Clarke said.
“I couldn’t decide what to wear. And I like the shirt. The song is iconic, and the shirt is soft. I also didn’t feel like wearing a suit.”
“Do you wear suits often?” Clarke asked.
“No,” Lexa laughed. “I hate wearing suits. I much prefer jeans. So I guess to answer your question. I dressed in comfortable clothing, because I didn’t know how serious this gallery opening was.”
“Have you been to many?” Clarke asked.
“Some,” Lexa said with a smile.
Music was playing at Bethesda Fountain and Lexa leaned up and tapped the man on the shoulder. “Here is good,” the Alpha said, and then helped her out of the carriage.
Lexa brought her over to sit and watch the artist playing. There was a small group of them strumming away for the night crowd. Herself and Lexa weren’t the only ones glued to one another.
“They aren’t bad,” Clarke said.
One of them looked their way and Lexa turned to face her. “One more song. I’ll just go tip them,” she said.
Clarke watched her speak to the band for a moment and then focused on a group of older children feeding the ducks. A couple older men played chess beside a lantern, a man selling pretzels stood a little bit away and Clarke looked at Lexa who was still talking to the band.
Her stomach growled and she realized she likely hadn’t eaten all day. Clarke went over to the cart and purchased 2 pretzels and a water. She had ended up drinking the rest of Lexa’s water during the carriage ride, and the Alpha didn’t complain, merely adding a gentle finger to the bottle making her finish the last little bit instead of handing the almost finished bottle back to her.
To her surprise the opening chords of Lovecats by The Cure started to play. Clarke expected to see Lexa walking over to her, but instead she noticed her with a guitar wrapped around her neck. The guy who was singing before held some shakers and started to play, singing along.
The entire crowd was watching the band. Lexa was a lot more active than the last guy who was singing. She moved around, and slinked like a cat at times, and jumped up on the fountain. Lexa was all over the place, smiling, singing, and putting on a show.
When it was done Clarke was on her feet cheering with the rest of the people. Lexa waved at some people, and others took photos, and videos of the performance. When it was done the Alpha stood on the large speaker, and then did a backflip. She couldn’t hear what Lexa said to them all without the mic. She was too far away, but wow.
“I think you earned a pretzel for that performance. You didn’t tell me you were that diehard of a fan,” Clarke said, handing her the pretzel and opening up the water for Lexa, who reached out for it.
Something about being with her felt like second nature. Like she knew what Lexa wanted, but the Alpha also knew that she needed it. There were a lot of people looking at them now, and she didn’t enjoy that. Lexa quickly led her away, and they walked quickly away from the fountain.
“I haven’t done that in years,” Lexa said, stretching her back as they walked.
“The backflip or playing in front of an audience. I could tell that wasn’t your first time,” Clarke said.
Lexa’s voice dropped. “It’s been many years since my first time, but I can tell you I will never forget my first date with you. Or the second. The third has been quite memorable. Maybe my favourite so far, and there is no telling how the night will end,” Lexa flirted.
They walked towards fifth avenue, and Clarke drank in the pheromones Lexa was pumping out. The Alpha was so cool and collected. Clarke leaned against her as they walked to the busy street. She wasn’t sure what to say. They were nearing traffic, and as much as the night had been great, it was coming to an end.
Clarke was suddenly jerked away and then she felt a weight being pulled off of her arm. She looked down. “My purse,” she said looking down. When she looked up Lexa was already up and running after the man that had taken her purse.
She followed as quickly as she could in heels calling after her to stop. It wasn’t safe. The man likely had a knife if not a gun and she didn’t want Lexa to die before she got a chance to truly know her. Monday… That was all the time she had to get to know her and she was busy Saturday evening, and would likely sleep in a little on Monday because Octavia and Raven would for sure want to go out after.
Her body froze as she saw Lexa dodge a knife, and then deliver a kick to the man who stole her purse. She knocked him down and then kicked away the knife. She retrieved her purse, and Lexa started to pump out her pheromones. She pushed them out so much it was like she had been holding them back for years.
The people nearest the Alpha started to back away and bared their necks. Clarke took one step after another getting closer to her. Lexa looked between her and the man. She growled at him a final time and walked quickly towards her.
Lexa wrapped an arm around her and pumped out her scent marking her, and pushing her scent out as they walked warning people off. She growled and snarled all the way into the cab.
“Park Central Hotel,” Lexa said.
“That’s just around the block,” the man complained.
“Drive,” Lexa growled, throwing money into the front seat.
Clarke knew better than to question an Alpha in such a state. She also didn’t want the night to end, and having Lexa give the driver the name of the hotel she was staying at was as good as an invite to spend the night.
Lexa grabbed her hand and led her inside of the hotel. She growled at a man who tried to get in the elevator with them, and sighed wrapping her up in her arms. “I’m sorry,” she said softly.
“I’m safe. Thank you for protecting me Alpha,” Clarke said gently massaging Lexa’s back.
They didn’t speak after that. Lexa unzipped her dress as soon as they got in the doorway. Clarke pulled up her band t and they both removed their own underwear before stepping into a hot shower.
Lexa fucked her hard against the tile. Her pussy begging for more, but at the same time she was so sated. Lexa had first eaten her out, and now she was fucking her senseless. When she could not longer stand Lexa lifted her up and brought her to the largest bed she had ever laid in, and fucked her some more.
When she woke up in the morning the Alpha was gone, but there was a note hastily scribbled beside the bed. There was also water, and a bowl of fruit beside the bed. Further into the suite Clarke found coffee in the kitchen, and poured herself a cup as she held onto the note that Lexa left.
-Please Stay<3
But she couldn’t… She had places to be. Clarke needed to check in with Octavia and Raven. Even if she just showed up outside of their apartment they would know she was alive. Then she needed to get dressed and go to work. She was already late.
So instead she wrote a note for Lexa.
-Museum of Natural History 9PM
The best part about her job was working with the restoration team. Which didn’t have the same hours as the museum. Hopefully Lexa would get her note and decide to perhaps go on another date with her. The night before had been amazing, and she was sure she wasn’t the only one who didn’t want the night to end. She wanted to make the most of their time together until Monday if possible.