The Morning After
Remus wakes up to the sound of dishes clinking in the kitchen. He frowns, the minor movement of his face muscles shooting a blinding pain through his head. Another loud sound follows, as if someone has placed a pan on the stove. It doesn’t make sense – he has lived alone for years now. No one but he uses his kitchen.
Then the realisation hits – James has his spare key. He must have come in to surprise him for some reason. It all comes back to him, slowly. He had a migraine last night, that’s why his head is hurting so badly. He can still taste the medicine in his mouth. At least he took it.
He covers his face with his pillow. It’s still dark out, but even with his eyes closed, he knows the lights are on in the other room. As loud as he can, he calls out, “Morning.” The sounds coming from the kitchen stop, and then he hears approaching footsteps. “I feel like shit,” he murmurs. “Could you bring me some water, please?”
“There’s a glass on the nightstand.”
Remus freezes. It’s certainly not James by his bedside.
Very slowly, he peels back the covers. Even in the darkness, he can just make out Sirius’s face. He sits up quickly and immediately feels nauseous.
“Careful,” the other man says, instinctively reaching towards him, then faltering. “Are you feeling okay?”
“What—why are you here? I thought you were James!”
“Sorry to disappoint.”
“How did you get in?”
“Uhh...?”
“He let you in with the key?”
“No, Remus, I let myself in with the key. My key.”
“Wha—you don’t have a key!” He looks past Sirius and into the kitchen. Expect, he can’t see into the kitchen from his bedroom. And his bedroom certainly isn’t this big to begin with. “Where are we?” he asks, feeling panicked all of a sudden.
“Alphard’s place,” Sirius says. “You got a migraine yesterday at work, and I didn’t want you to walk home alone, so I brought you here.”
“Right,” Remus says, meekly. How could he forget? “Sorry, my head’s a little... uh...”
“It’s okay. I’m making breakfast, sorry if I woke you up.”
“What time is it?”
“Half past five, almost.”
“Really? How long was I out for?”
“Maybe nine, ten hours.”
Remus is surprised, definitely. He’s never slept so well during a migraine.
“Are you hungry?” Sirius inquires. “You can also just warm it up later, if you prefer. I made some coffee, too.”
It feels a little overwhelming. He can hardly remember last night’s events, although the blurry image of him struggling up the stairs comes to him now. He has no clue how he managed to sleep so long.
“Are you feeling any better?”
Remus tilts his head from side to side. His neck hurts, his head even more. “A little,” he says. “There’s nothing wrong with my vision anymore, at least. Head’s hurting a bit.”
“Good,” Sirius says. “Can I get you anything?”
Remus straightens up a little more, testing his luck with rolling his shoulders and stretching his arms overhead. He lets his legs slide off the bed, planting his feet against the ground. He feels grimy, wearing yesterday’s clothes and having sweated bucketfuls in his suffering state. “I’m okay,” he croaks. “Thank you.”
He places his hands on the edge of the mattress and stands up, but it’s stupidly optimistic. He immediately feels like throwing up, and he quickly sits back down. Sirius reaches towards him again, but Remus swats his hand away before promptly bending over and emptying the contents of his stomach into the empty bucket. He wishes the other man wasn’t there to witness this part.
“Sorry,” he murmurs, wiping his mouth on the back of his hand and grimacing. “Oh, god.”
Sirius frowns, placing the cool back of his palm against Remus’s forehead. How he’s willing to voluntarily touch him in this state is beyond Remus. “Don’t apologise. Was that everyth—”
Remus keels and vomits again, coughing as he tries to catch his breath. It’s been a while since he last threw up – he’s managed to forget how much he hates it.
“I’m sorry,” he says again, flopping onto his side and closing his eyes. He feels dizzy. “God, that’s disgusting.”
“Stop it, Remus. It’s not your fault.” Sirius makes to pick up the bucket just as Remus reopens his eyes.
He shakes his head, frantically. “No, no! Please, don’t,” he says. “I’ll clean it myself.”
Sirius looks at him and, thankfully, pulls his hand back. “Okay, alright. Don’t worry.”
“I could do with a shower,” Remus says, sitting up again. “Sorry, I know you made me breakfast. I’ll just eat after, if that’s okay?”
“Of course, Remus.”
“Thank you. For... everything.”
Sirius waves him off. “I already left you a towel in the bathroom. And I brought some shower gel and shampoo from the house, and I bought you a toothbrush and—”
“Sirius.” Remus buries his face in his hands. He can’t decipher it, why the other man is being so hospitable. “You didn’t have to do all this. It’s—it’s way too much.”
“It’s the least I can do. Don’t fret it, Remus, really.”
Feeling ashamed, Remus stands up shakily, refusing Sirius’s efforts to help him. He takes the vomit bucket with him and pads his way slowly into the bathroom. He feels Sirius’s eyes on his back the whole time, as if he thinks Remus might go down any second.
“Don’t lock the door,” Sirius calls when Remus finally makes it to his destination. “Please. Just... just to be sure.”
Remus nods and enters the bathroom, shutting the door but not locking it. Sirius is right – what would happen if Remus suddenly lost consciousness and got stuck behind a locked door on top of it all? He’d only be a bigger burden to his boss.
Oh, Jesus. His boss. He did all that in front of his boss! His boss who he’s supposed to hate! Now he’ll forever be in debt to Sirius.
He gets undressed and steps into the shower, trying to forget about it.
Sirius has placed the shampoo and soap on the small shelf, and a clean towel hangs on the hook. He could cry. At no point did he plan for something like this to happen. He tried to remain cold and uninviting, but now Sirius has seen him at his worst, covered in sweat and puking his guts out into a bucket in his dead uncle’s bed. It couldn’t possibly get any worse – except that Sirius has already cooked him breakfast too, and made him coffee, and bought him a toothbrush, and...
He turns the shower on, hoping to drown his thoughts before they’re even fully formed. He knows he just needs to thank Sirius properly, to show him how grateful he is, and then they can both hopefully forget about the events of the past twelve hours and get back to hating each other.
Only, he’ll never live down the embarrassment.
***
Sirius has cooked the eggs just the way he likes them.
Remus shoves food into his mouth quietly, wanting to be angry but knowing he has no right to be. Sirius went out of his way to help him. It just makes things so complicated.
Although he was nervous to eat at first, too scared of throwing up again, he finds he’s actually ravenous. He immediately feels better, getting some food inside his stomach, and even his headache has started to subside. The sun is yet to rise, but Remus has forced Sirius to turn on one of the overhead lights now. It still hurts his eyes, but he doesn’t want to seem pathetic. He can manage it, and besides, they can’t very well eat in complete darkness.
“You feel better?” Sirius inquires, tentatively, sipping on his coffee.
Remus nods with his mouth full. “Yeah,” he manages after swallowing. “Thank you.”
His companion huffs a quiet laugh. “Stop thanking me. It’s nothing.”
He shrugs, taking another bite of toast.
Sirius stands up. “Coffee?”
“Yeah, thanks.”
Humming quietly, Sirius begins preparing his coffee for him. He has a nice voice, and Remus closes his eyes for a second. His shoulders still feel tense, and his head is throbbing, but he has felt worse after a migraine. His shift starts at eight, so he still has a bit of time to rest, anyway.
“You use milk?”
“No, just black, thanks.”
Sirius nods and hands him the cup. The smell alone helps cure Remus’s headache a little. He takes a sip and sighs. “That’s good,” he says.
“I’m glad.”
“I’ll clean this all up, you don’t have to worry about it.”
“No, don’t—”
“It wasn’t a question.”
Sirius smiles wanly. “It’s my apartment. My rules.”
Remus shakes his head. This is the most absurd situation to be in. He’s having breakfast with his boss after just being tended to by him for the past however many hours. He almost wants to laugh.
“Dorcas is coming in to do your morning shift,” Sirius says then, sitting back down. “Poppy’s coming in at twelve, and Benjy promised to take the evening shift. I’ll be there the whole day in case they need anything. I’ve also called someone to come and install new sinks and floor tiles into the toilets later.”
Remus stares at him with wide eyes. “But—but Benjy’s on holiday for another two days!”
“He agreed to come back early. Said it’s no big deal.”
“H-how? You haven’t even met him!”
Sirius snorts. “I’m his boss, Remus. I have his number. And I asked nicely.”
“I’m perfectly fine to go in! I still have over an hour until my shift starts, and I’m already here!”
“I’d rather you rest today. You still don’t look well.”
“I’m fine!”
“You were just knocked out cold for ten hours, and then you woke up and puked your guts out. You flinch at the smallest sound. I don’t think you’re fine.”
“It’s normal after a migraine.”
“A bit more rest won’t hurt.”
“But—”
“Ah-ah! You’re not working today, my orders. In fact, I don’t want to see you at the pub at all. You’re free to go home or stay here, but don’t even think about stepping a foot in there.”
“Sirius, I—”
“I’ll kick you out myself if you attempt it.”
Remus huffs, sinking lower in his chair. “Fine. But I’ll die of boredom.”
“Boo-hoo.”
Remus opens his mouth to respond, but then a thought suddenly occurs to him. A thought he should’ve had way earlier. “Sirius, did you spend the night here?” He glances at the sofa, a single book sitting on it. His stomach twists nastily. That would make things a hundred times more awkward.
“No,” Sirius says, much to his relief. “I went to the guesthouse after you fell asleep and came back before five. Poppy checked in on you after her shift, but I take it you didn’t wake up?”
“No, I didn’t...” He feels a little better, knowing he at least didn’t keep Sirius up all night. Still, it’s way too much. He feels bad about Benjy, too. He’d really been in need of a holiday, but it hasn’t gone too well for him. First, he received news of Alphard’s death while back home in Wales, and now he’s forced to return to work earlier than planned.
“Well, I should get going,” Sirius says, standing up and beginning to collect items from the table. “Are you still going to eat these?”
“Leave it,” Remus nods quickly. He’s still a bit hungry, and he wants to clean it up himself. Sirius has already done way more than necessary.
“Yeah?”
“Yeah, it’s fine. I have nothing but time, ha.”
“Call me if you need anything, okay? I’ll be downstairs.”
Remus swallows. “Yeah... Sirius, I can’t thank you enough. You didn’t have to do any of this. It’s too much.”
“Hey, you would’ve done the same,” Sirius says easily. He grabs his phone from the table and slips it inside his pocket. “I’ll text you. And remember, I don’t want to see you at the pub today. Not hanging around, not having a beer, and definitely not working.”
He sends his boss a scowl. “Point received. I’ll see you tomorrow.”
“Okay,” Sirius smiles. He takes a step towards the door. “You’ll be fine?”
“Yes, I’ll be fine.”
“Okay. Bye, then.”
Remus watches as he walks to the door and opens it. “Bye, Sirius,” he says. The door swings shut.
He folds his arms over the table and drops his head against them, his cheeks burning. These past twelve hours will go down in history as the worst of his life.
***
Sirius sits down at the table with a huff and takes a big gulp of tea. He doesn’t think it has ever tasted so good – Poppy certainly knows what she’s doing.
It has been a long morning, working behind the counter with Dorcas. She’s done most of the work, though, having also had to mentor Sirius, and it’s been busier than they anticipated. Now that Poppy is there for her shift, they’re finally able to take their breaks, each in their turn.
Sirius likes Dorcas a lot, even if she hasn’t completely warmed up to him yet. Perhaps she doesn’t need to, either. He’s happy as long as he somewhat gets along with his employees. He’s curious about Benjy, who he’s yet to meet. He’s arriving at eight, hopefully full of energy and motivation after his holiday.
The people from the renovation company came over at nine to redo the toilets. They’re still very much in progress, and although it’s highly inconvenient, Sirius is happy about getting it done now. Just redoing the toilets alone is going to elevate the pub’s appearance, and the rest of the things on his list are slightly less troublesome.
He’s deep in thought when he hears the door behind him open. He turns around, surprised to see Remus standing there. “Remember what I said about stepping foot in the pub today?” he asks.
Remus sighs, giving the faintest of smiles. “Left my keys here. I kind of need them to get home.”
Sirius gestures for him to step in. Remus does, going to the dresser in the corner, on top of which his keys lie. He grabs them and heads for the door, freezing in the middle of the room. It takes him a moment to turn around and face Sirius.
“Sirius,” he says.
“Hm?”
“I’m... very grateful for what you did yesterday. I was in horrible condition, and—well, you could’ve just sent me home, but you didn’t. You went out of your way to help me—hell, you even made me breakfast!”
“It’s nothing.”
“It’s not nothing. Just… thanks.”
Sirius shakes his head. “Don’t fret it, Remus. I was glad to help.”
“Okay.” Remus nods his head but doesn’t move anywhere. He straightens his back. “I just want to make sure it’s clear... this doesn’t change anything between us. Last night, I mean.”
Sirius lifts his brows. “What would it change?”
Remus hesitates. “Nothing,” he says then, “Like I said.”
“Well, don’t worry. Everything’s exactly like it was before.”
“Good. Uh, and if we could just—I don’t know, forget about it altogether? It’s just that you saw me throw up and everything, and then you...”
Sirius looks at him, and although Remus doesn’t finish his sentence, it’s clear what he’s implying. Perhaps some lines were crossed last night. Rubbing his shoulders, making him breakfast... Everything Sirius did was purely to make Remus feel better in his agony, but it certainly makes things a little awkward.
“There’s nothing to be embarrassed about,” he says, not wanting to dive too deep into it. “Throwing up, accepting my help... don’t bother yourself with it.”
Remus swallows. “Yeah. Okay.”
“Now, chop-chop,” Sirius goes on, forcing a smile. “You’ve already been here for too long. You only came for your keys, eh?”
“Yeah, yeah. I’ll be on my way.” Remus turns around and walks to the door. Before stepping out, he stops once more, as if he’s about to say something more. But he doesn’t turn around, merely reaching for the doorknob and opening the door. Sirius watches him step out.
Remus disappears down the hallway as the door swings shut, and then he’s alone again. The past night and morning’s events have been on his mind, too, despite the constant hurry he’s been in at the pub. What he said was true – all he wanted was for Remus to feel better, their work relationship aside. Nor did it have anything to do with the continuous flutter in his stomach that he has whenever he’s around the other man.
But he can’t deny the fluttering, or the slight feeling of disappointment at Remus’s words moments before. Obviously, last night won’t change anything. They may have crossed some professional boundaries, but it’s not like they’re part of a large corporation.
He can’t let it roam freely, though, that growing feeling inside of him. He hates admitting his father is right, but sometimes, it’s all he can do. Orion has always been a firm believer that feelings, no matter how innocent or puny, can ruin what would otherwise be untouchable. Be that business deals, friendships, or something completely different.
Luckily, he has learned a long time ago that it’s easy to put one’s shield up. A lot of things can hurt you, but nothing will hurt forever.
***
“The plan,” Sirius says as a way of greeting.
Remus looks up at him, setting down the waterglass he’s just taken a sip from. “Did they approve of it?” he asks.
Sirius sighs, placing his hands on the counter. He was eating breakfast when he received the phone call, which kind of ruined his morning. “There were a lot of things they liked,” he says. “But they said it was underwhelming.”
Remus raises his brows. “Underwhelming? Have they any idea how quickly three fucking weeks go by?”
“They want the walls painted, they want the tables changed, they even hate the windowpanes.”
“God, who are these people?”
Sirius ignores the question, not exactly eager to join in on bashing his father’s business partners. He doesn’t like them either, but he knows where they’re coming from. The pub simply isn’t what it’s supposed to be, at least not for their purposes.
“What are you going to do?” Remus asks.
“They didn’t sound like they were entirely opposed to everything that was in there. I reckon I can push it a little, make them meet me halfway. I mean, I have to. There’s not enough time.”
“No, you’re right. You know, what with the Christmas party and everything.”
Sirius halts. “The Christmas party?” he repeats.
“Yeah,” Remus nods, innocently. “The annual party held at the pub...?”
“That... wasn’t in Alphard’s records. I haven’t even heard of an annual Christmas party.”
“Well, he organised it each year ever since he opened the pub.”
“Oh?”
“Mhm.”
“Well, maybe if I’d heard about this earlier...”
Remus frowns at him. “You’re planning on cancelling the party?”
“There is no party! I just heard about this now!”
“Everyone will be so disappointed.”
Sirius huffs. “I’m sure they can find another party to go to.”
“Hm... maybe. But it’s a long tradition. I don’t think they’ll take it well.”
Sirius averts his gaze, thinking about it. He’s afraid that if he leaves the people in the village too discontent, they’ll never step foot in Alphard’s again after it has been remodelled. And worse still, they might even start spreading a bad word around, which will be detrimental to the new owners and, of course, Sirius himself.
“And when is this party, usually?” he asks, turning to look at Remus again.
“A week before Christmas Eve, without exception.”
“Oh?” That’s less than two weeks away! There are so many other things to worry about. He’ll never be able to pull it off, even if he tries.
“Yeah... Anyway, I’ll go and take my break. I’ll ask Dorcas to come up.” Remus turns around and takes a few slow steps towards the doorway.
Sirius gapes at him and then utters, hurriedly, “Wait, wait! What—what exactly is this Christmas party like? What should I take into consideration, if I were to... you know, continue the tradition? Just for this year.”
Remus tilts his head from side to side, considering. “Just make it... I dunno, something that the whole village will enjoy.”
Sirius blinks. Frankly, he doesn’t know what the whole village will enjoy. He knows it seems like they all love Christmas lights and cheap beer, but that doesn’t sound like much of a party at all. He’s thrown a get-together or two, of course, for his father’s company, but he has a hunch the people here won’t appreciate nice wine and small nibblers as much as they will something slightly more laid-back. But how does one make ‘laid-back’ into a party?
“I’ve never organised a party in a pub before,” he admits, slightly panicked. The pub itself looks like a group of five-year-olds have had free access to it, and he would also have to take care of catering, and order enough drinks, and make the flyers...
“Last year, he outdid himself,” Remus adds, unhelpfully. He takes another step towards the corridor. “You should’ve seen it, it was amazing—”
“Remus,” Sirius says, pleadingly, “Please, help me out here. I don’t know anything about throwing a Christmas party, at least not in a setting like this. And I have so many things to take care of here before Christmas, and—”
Remus shrugs, a small smile budding on his lips. “All you had to do was ask.”
“Oh. I mean, thank you. Thanks, that’s... helpful.” He nods, clearing his throat. “Not that you’re not busy too, ha, but...”
“I’m happy to do it. Really.” He nods and then disappears into the corridor. Sirius deflates. For a moment, he’d felt like a fish on dry land. But now there’s one less thing for him to worry about.
He’s going to have to give Remus a grand old Christmas bonus.