Sirius had been working as a spy for the order for almost 3 years now. And he absolutely despised the job, he understood, of course, why he had to be the one to do it.it was almost too easy to convince them he wanted back in to the black family, all it took was a simple ‘I’m sorry. I’ve grown up now. I’m ready to come home’ and the idiots actually believed him.it didn’t stop him from wanting to be sick every time the dark mark burned on his skin or when Voldemort ordered him to commit some horrific act. He understood though. Plus he rad Reggie to keep him company, the younger black seemed to hate to role of death eater even more than he did. And that’s saying something.
Almost nobody knew he was a spy, it was a sort of need to know basis kind of thing, and while he wouldn’t usually mind that he one quite large issue. Peter didn’t know. Almost all of his close friends knew, moony knew, obviously, he was also a spy, more in the wearwolf side of things though. Lilly and prongs knew because of their current….situation. And he’d accidentally told Marlene and Mary when he drank a bit too much at a party in seventh year, that conversation with dumbeldore is certainly one he would NOT like to have. So,basically all of his close friends knew about his position which the death eaters, except Peter, and the guilt of leaving him the dark are him alive, it was almost worse than being a spy for the death eaters itself. Almost.
he had almost told him several times this past year out of sheer guilt for leaving him out, but he was always talked out by dear old moony.it was most probably for the best anyway. But it didn’t dampen the guilt that stabbed him in the chest every time he had to lie to the shortest maruder about where he had been.
So Instead he’d compromised with him self and stepped down from his role as secret keeper and offered the job to wormy as an almost sorry for the secret he was keeping from him. Peter, to his credit, had taken up the role with ecstatic enthusiasm and seemed all to happy to have a part in keeping his friends safe.
He thought back to that moment now, even still feeling slightly guilty when the man himself walk timidly into the death eater meeting he was trying now to fall asleep in.
One of his best friends willingly offering up their best friend’s entire family for slaughter.
He needed to get out of here. NOW.