Chocolate & Hope
Outside, the bitter cold frosted the windows, the bright lights of the city refracting over the crystalline lines of the frozen condensation. Severus watched out the glass panes, contemplating how his life had changed so much in a year. He supposed he should have been used to it—his life had been in constant upheaval for decades—but this was different. Instead of everything falling down around him, something unexpected was growing, flourishing even.
He didn’t hear her step out of the kitchen, but he felt the warmth of her as she stood at his side. The air around Hermione always felt warm to him, in more than a physical sense, as if her presence thawed his cold demeanor and made him feel things he didn’t think he was capable of.
“Are you ready?” Hermione asked him, holding two cups of steaming hot chocolate in front of her. They were filled with marshmallows, which he found absurd, but this was her tradition, and he was going to partake in it her way.
“I am if you are,” Severus answered as he nodded, reaching out to take the cup she offered, and followed her out onto the balcony. The air was sharp as it rushed into his lungs, forcing him to cough softly.
She flicked her wand at the garden settee, dispersing the snow, before she sank onto it, holding her cup in both hands. Her lips curved up, her cheeks rounding in delight as she gazed up at him. “Thank you for coming tonight.”
“I have nowhere else I would rather be,” he confessed, before realizing the weight of his words. His face felt hot as he sat beside her, cradling the cup between his hands. Part of him was afraid he’d just revealed too much, this was still new to him. After an accidental first date that he hadn’t been aware was a date and not just dinner between coworkers, their relationship had steadily grown. It was only recently that he’d confirmed with her that they were actually dating.
“I feel the same,” she breathed out, her hand resting on his knee.
Her warmth seeped through his trousers, giving him reassurance to settle into the settee as he glanced at her.
“Get comfortable, it’s almost time,” she told him with a soft smile.
Severus’ gaze shifted to the city skyline across the river, seeing the crowds of people along the boardwalk. He understood that her tradition was to sit on her balcony for New Year's, drinking hot cocoa, but he wasn’t sure if there was more to it than that. He’d agreed to come before asking for more details, worried that a delay in his response might signal a lack of interest. Taking a drink of the sweet beverage, letting it warm him on its way down, he tentatively placed his hand on hers on his knee. “So, for this tradition, we sit here, drinking cocoa until—”
Hermione turned her hand under his, entwining their fingers. “Until the fireworks start.”
His heart rate ticked up slightly and he took in a deep breath of the frigid air. “And is that all?”
“I was rather hoping you’d kiss me at midnight,” she replied, her voice filled with soft laughter.
“I assumed that might be the expectation, but I wanted to be clear.” He wanted to be sure that was what she desired, rather than miss the mark completely.
A light snow fell lazily, draping over them. Hermione, shivering slightly, set her cup down on the garden table and then scooted closer to him on the bench, tucking herself under his arm. “You’re warm.”
Severus tensed on reflex and then relaxed, letting his arm curl around her back. “We could watch the fireworks from inside the house,”
“It wouldn’t be the same,” she told him as she rested her head against his shoulder, her hand laying flat against his chest.
“If you are sure,” he said, unwilling to do anything that would alter the experience for her. There was something so right about the feeling of her weight against him as if they’d been doing this forever, and she was meant to be there. He tugged at his coat, pulled it open, and wrapped her into it with him, wanting to share as much space with her as she would allow. It was impossible to think about the cold when he was sure he could feel her heartbeat against his ribs.
The echo of the crowd counting drifted up to him, and he joined her in counting down the last seconds of the old year. As the fireworks began to erupt over the city, Hermione slid her warm hand up his chest, cupping his face. He leaned down into her, their lips meeting somewhere in the middle. It was tender, soft, and filled gaps in his cracked soul that he had never known were there with warmth. She tasted like chocolate and hope. Everything narrowed down to her, the rest of the world ceased to exist as he held her in his arms.
When the kiss broke, he felt a loss so strong that he had to lean in again, pressing a peck to her lips.
“Happy New Year,” she breathed against his mouth, her fingers tracing along the line of his jaw.
Her brown eyes reflected the city lights like the whole universe was in her gaze. “Happy New Year, Hermione,” he replied, his voice softened with the affection he felt for her. He smiled, his hand moving up and down her back.
Hermione slid her head back against his shoulder, her hand reclaiming its rightful place over his heart. She watched the fireworks, but Severus couldn’t stop looking at her. These were new feelings, new sensations, and he tried to categorize and understand them.
Was this what it was like to be smitten, to fall into love?
Was he falling in love too quickly?
He didn’t know.
He thought he’d glimpsed love once before, but that was like seeking a candle for warmth, and Hermione was a blazing fire in a hearth, welcoming him home and telling him to warm his bones.
“So, what are your resolutions?” she whispered against him, the words vibrating against his chest.
“Resolutions?” he asked, shaking away his waxing poetic thoughts for another time.
“Your goals and hopes for the new year?” she asked again, lifting from him slightly to look up at him.
Severus mourned the press of her against his ribs as he searched his thoughts for what to say. He'd not made any resolutions. It wasn’t something that he ever did, even with encouragement from others. It had always felt trite, but he wasn’t going to say that to her. Not with how happy she looked in this moment.
She must have sensed his unsure thoughts. “Do you want to hear mine?”
“Of course,” he told her earnestly. He was far more interested in what she had planned for her year than to dare to hope for more than he had at this moment.
“This year,” she pushed some snow from the top of his head. “I want to devote more time to my relationships and show the people I love the most how much they mean to me.”
“I’m surprised,” Severus confessed, “I thought your goals would be more academic or career-related.”
“My priorities have shifted. Work will always be there, but I would be a fool not to see what is right in front of me. I know that if I don’t seize the moment, I could lose it,” she told him, their eyes meeting. Hermione gazed at him with so much focus that he knew she was referring to him. “What about yours?”
His throat felt tight as he tried to formulate his thoughts into coherent words. “I cannot say I had thought about what mine would be. My life has not been one that lent itself to hope.”
“And now,” she urged, her fingers tracing down the side of his face.
“And now,” Severus paused, closing his eyes briefly as her fingers warmed his cheek. “I am trying to not make a fool of myself because I don’t want to lose what is right in front of me.”
A sparkle of laughter escaped her as she leaned up, pressing a tender kiss against his cheek. “I don’t think you have to worry about that happening.”
“Then that will be where my hope for this year lies,” he breathed out, almost choking over the emotions swelling in his chest.
Hermione kissed him then, and it was not like the tender kiss they started the year with. Her fingers were in his hair, as she poured her passion into him. Severus was swept away by it, his hand cupping the side of her face as he rose to meet her fervor. The fireworks and the hot chocolate were forgotten in the wake of these feelings—of this kiss.
Suddenly, Hermione broke away, panting and halfway on his lap. “Would you like to go inside?”
“I would,” Severus nodded, breathing just as heavily as she was.
They gathered their mugs and made haste for the warm interior of her flat. Severus couldn’t help but feel more than a little optimistic about what the new year would bring him.