Chapter 8
“Was this why you insisted on keeping us a secret?” Sirius asked as soon as Harry was out of earshot.
“Yes.” answered Severus simply.
“And you are actually gonna go along with this crazy scheme?” demanded Sirius, knowing there was no point to asking the question.
“I am.” Severus’ gaze was unflinching, tone lacking emotions and for a moment, Sirius was taken back to a time when they loathed each other. It had been months since Severus had shut down this way around him.
“Why, Sev?” Sirius sounded pained, imagining all that could go wrong. “Do you have any idea how I’ll feel watching you walk into danger every day? Knowing I can’t stop it?”
“I imagine it is quiet like how I felt when I begged you not to go to the ministry last week and you almost fell through the veil.” Severus said. Sirius flinched, guilt flashing across his face, but Severus pressed on. “You asked me to trust you then, and I am asking the same of you now. This is a calculated risk, Sirius, one I am uniquely equipped to take. You know that as well as I do.”
Sirius swallowed hard, staring at Severus with a mix of anger and helplessness. “Then why? Why put yourself through this? Please, just say no!”
“I’m doing this for the same reason you went to the ministry: so that the next generation doesn’t inherit the war from us. The last war stole everything: our youth, our freedom and worst of all, our friends. If my actions now can spare others from inheriting that same pain, then they are worth the cost.” Severus explained.
Sirius had no response to that. He knew he’d do the same thing if he was in Severus’ shoes so he had no real leg to stand on.
“Darling,” Severus gently cupped Sirius’ face. “I know you are worried and I will address all of your concerns. We will have as many conversations as you need to get comfortable with this idea. But not tonight. It’s a rare night for you to have your godson with you and even more rare for the three of us to break bread. Let’s put this discussion away for the now and try to have a normal night.”
“Alright,” Sirius relented. “Fine. But we will be discussing that later and I will still try to talk you out of it with no avail.”
“I expect no less, love.” Severus gave an uncharacteristic smile. “Should I get started on dinner?”
“Yeah. I’ll join you after I check on Harry.” Sirius pecked Severus on the lips before heading up the stairs.
A few moments later, Harry and Sirius were chatting away on their bar stool while Severus precisely diced the carrots, celery and onions for the base of the soup. Severus was starting to understand what Sirius had meant by Harry being his own person. It took him a long time to get over viewing Harry as James’ son and even longer to stop viewing Harry as Lily’s son. Throughout the day, he realized that Harry’s jabs were meant to be light teasing, not the taunts he has grown accustomed to by Harry’s father. Somehow, this increased his fondness for the young boy and his desire to protect Harry even more. Perhaps this is the life they could have if they survived the war. Severus looked up at the two men chatting animatedly over quidditch. If worse came to worse, Severus would make sure that at least Sirius and Harry had a chance for this life.
The three men sat down for dinner. Silence passed over them as they dug into Severus’ meticulously prepared soup and ravioli. Harry looked up from his plate, sensing the tension between the two men. “Thank you, Professor Snape.” said the young boy earnestly.
“For the dinner? Don’t mention it. This is hardly a unique occurrence.” Severus said.
Harry shook his head. “No. For everything. For convincing Dumbledore to let me stay, for standing up for me when you didn’t have to, and…” His voice softened. “For bringing Remus back. I haven’t said it before, but I’m grateful.”
Severus was taken aback with the remorse and gratefulness in Harry’s words. “I-” Severus hesitated, not knowing what to say until he finally settled on “You’re welcome, Potter.” Sirius watched the exchange in awe and shock. His heart filled with warmth at the site of the two people who’d always complained about each other having such a gentle interaction.
“Call me Harry.”
“Very well, but I can only do so in private. At school, I must treat you as I always have. The integrity of…” Severus paused, choosing his next words very carefully, “... next assignment depends on it.” The two men noticed Sirius freeze, fork halfway to his mouth when he had been reminded of what’s to come. Severus placed his hand on top of Sirius’ which was tightly gripping the knife. Harry’s eyes fell on their connected hands when an idea came to him.
“So, Severus, what are your intentions with my godfather?” The two men looked at him in utter disbelief. Sirius burst into fits of laughter whereas Severus continued to stare in utter bewilderment at his student’s audacity.
“Keep laughing, dear.” Severus remarked dryly, “Since you are having so much fun with your godson, I can invite mine over. I’m sure you’ll find Draco’s interrogation will be just as riveting.”
“Draco is your godson?” Sirius asked, reeling back from his laughter as it was Harry’s turn to stare in horror. Severus nodded as Harry groaned at this new found connection with his childhood nemesis. “Well, it seems like Harry has a new step-god-brother.” Sirius chuckled, much to Harry’s annoyance.
“I’m not spending Christmas with him.” the younger boy declared.
“That is not something you need to worry about. The Malfoys do not know about our relationship and it should remain that way.” Severus assured him. “To answer your original question, Harry, my intentions are to build a life full of love and happiness with Sirius.”
“Do you two actually want to get married?” asked Harry, surprised at how fast their relationship was moving.
“Not right away. But that is a hope I have if we come out of the war unscathed.” the older man answered.
“When.” Sirius corrected. “When we come out of the war, not if.” Sirius said the statement with such conviction that Severus almost believed nothing would touch them.
Harry glanced between them, a small smile playing on his lips. As the three of them fell into conversation about their dreams for the future, the weight of the war lingered but felt a little lighter. Whatever came next, they would face it together. And for now, that was enough.