~Lacy~
~Lacy, oh, Lacy, skin like puff pastry
Aren't you the sweetest thing on this side of hell?
Dear angel Lacy, eyes white as daisies
Did I ever tell you that I'm not doing well?
Ooh, I care, I care, I care
Like perfume that you wear
I linger all the time
Watchin', hidden in plain sight
Ooh, I try, I try, I try
But it takes over my life
I see you everywhere
The sweetest torture one could bear~
He was basically perfect. In every way. He dazzled in a group- shine like the star in the sky he was named for. How can one not be jealous? He is everything Regulus couldn’t be.
Regulus was just a spare. He was nothing to his mother. Nothing to his father. He is the spare- nothing but the heir. That’s his sole purpose. Sirius- while disowned- still has a family. He has James, Remus, Peter, and the others. Regulus had no one to call family.
Sure he had Pandora, Evan, Barty, and Dorcas who he was always with, but Evan had his other friends(Snape, Mulciber, Avery, Burbage, and Sinastra), Pandora Sybil, Barty his Ravenclaw friends, and Dorcas the Gryffindor girls. No one really needs him, do they? Everyone has other people to be with- Regulus not being a priority. He and Sirius don’t even talk anymore and basically anyone who likes him is either trying to avoid Regulus because of the Black family, or trying to avoid all Slytherins.
Regulus has considered it a passtime to just sit in the library. The librarian didn’t mind- though she probably thought he was actually reading. The truth is, he did read, however sometimes he just sat there just thinking. Similarly to how he was right now. Thinking. About what? He wasn’t even sure himself. He just sat there staring down at the book in his hands, his eyes absentmindedly glancing at the words as his mind is simultaneously full and empty.
—
‘Regulus? Can- May I speak to you?’
Oh yeah. There are other people in the library. Many people avoided it as if it was the title of a nerd. Ravenclaws- however- were usually always there researching about who knows what. Besides Barty of course.
‘Pardonnez-moi-’ Regulus stops himself as he finally looks up to see who it is. No wonder that voice sounded familiar. Remus. Remus Lupin- the person Regulus was sure his brother has always fancied since first year.
‘What do you want?’ He didn’t mean for it to sound that rude, but it still came out that way.
‘No need to be hostile. I just wanted to check in on you.’ Why was he being so nice? Why does he even care?
‘Why? I’m perfectly fine, thank you.’
‘Sirius told me that over christmas break things got a bit hectic at your house and you both had a bit of a,’ he pauses, ‘disagreement?’
Of course he did. Why would Sirius actually keep family business in the family? He is Sirius Black, if you can even call him that, the loudest star ever. Though Regulus resents him for that, something in him can’t help but be envious of Sirius’ confidence- feel admiration even.
There is a moment of silence before Remus speaks up.
‘You don’t have to speak to me of course… I just wanted you to know that if you ever need anything or any help, you can come to me. You’re in your fifth year and dealing with the testing and your family situation can’t be easy-’
‘Just- thank you for caring but I’m fine.’ Why do you care? Why bother?
‘Well, if you decide you want to talk, I’m usually in the Defense Against the Dark Arts class to study most days. If I’m not there then I’m here. If I’m not in either then I’m probably with the others- though you probably wont want to come up to me then.’
‘Okay… Thanks I guess.’
Remus smiles at the younger before walking away. Regulus is left to question why Remus actually cares though. In his mind, the Black family traditions and opinions are simply normal. Not to be questioned or countered. Regulus knows they’re wrong but would rather please his mother than disagree. If his only purpose is to be the Black heir, he might as well do it right. It wasn’t his fault that Sirius didn’t think the same.
—————————————————————————————————————
‘I’m not the one to blame! Maybe you shouldn’t be a fucking blood supremacist, Regulus.’
‘Maybe you should actually listen to maman for once. You were supposed to be the heir- now I must deal with the burden. Don’t blame me because I’m trying to actually fit into the role unlike you!’
‘Oh mon Dieu ! Pauvre petit Regulus ! Do you know how many times I got you out of trouble? How many times I sacrificed parts of myself for your sake? The best you could’ve done is left with me when I offered instead of being an insolent little mama’s boy. The role of the heir is one that shouldn’t be given to anyone. Maman is too harsh and I couldn’t take it, neither should you.’
‘Oh fuck off, Sirius. You were never cut out for it in the first place. That’s why I was born. Maman knew you weren’t meant for it. Why does it matter how harsh she is? You should’ve been good and actually listened to what she said for the sake of our family.’
‘I should’ve been good? I’m not her dog, Regulus. She is not family to me. I wish you would decide that too.’
‘Family is what you’re born into. I don’t choose what is put upon me and you’re a coward for avoiding it first.’
‘Well you need to realise that you have a choice. I miss the old you, Reggie. I hate whatever it is you’ve become. You’re a monster just like maman.’
————————————————————————————————————
If Sirius actually meant it, Regulus didn’t know, but deep down he felt that it was true. He felt that maybe Sirius does hate what Regulus is. Maybe he is just like his mother. Maybe he is what he always promised he wouldn’t become when he was young.