chapter 2
Chapter 2:
Stark tower
Peter:
The excitement I'd slowly let sink in about a weekend away with my friends had all died the minute the Patronus had landed hours ago. Voldermort, or the dark lord as they were calling him now, contacting me again. He had eyes everywhere, it worried me.
He'd caught wind of this party, even thousands of miles away overseas. He knew I was here already, asked me to gather more Intel on the avengers, and if the ministry had any involvement here. I doubted they did, James was fairly clued in, he'd have said something. Fucking James. He was the reason I was in this mess, the lies and the sneaking around.
It was his fault for making me feel this way, for making me protect him in the worst way possible. I'd never felt weak, singled out by my friends in the seven years I was at Hogwarts, not once. Even If James and Sirius were popular, sporty and everything anyone wanted. Even if Remus and Sirius were naturally the smartest kids in the class. I'd never felt like the weak link. But I knew I was now.
A prophecy, James’s kid was destined to destroy Voldermort, I didn't doubt it. Anyone with James genes could take on the world. He'd sought me out, knowing I was weaker, his way in. He'd promised me James’ safety as long as I provided information on the war effort, the people involved in protecting the wizarding and muggle world from the few dark followers of Grindelwald that remained.
I'd panicked, making him swear, even if he went for Harry and Lily he'd spare James, he'd agreed. So that's how it was, I delivered the information, James stayed safe, unknown to him of course. The wizarding world believed the dark days were done. That the few lone supporters were of no concern, they had no idea of the forces building underground.
But I did. I told myself I was a double agent, collecting for both sides. But it did little to lift the crushing guilt that I was betraying my friends, my family. I was no double agent if I wasn't giving information back. I sighed shakily in the mirror, adjusting the shirt I'd chosen for tonight. James was bustling around in the other room. Of course we'd shared a room, we'd always shared a room.
I couldn't tell if it was the weight of my feelings or my guilt that had kept me awake all night. Listening to his soft snores and wondering whether it was all worth it. He'd hate me. I knew he would, but he'd be alive. Was it worth it? Could I live with that? I'd never been as brave as Sirius or as selfless as James. I wasn't sure him being alive and hating me was something I'd ever cope with.
“Pete you ready? Taxis outside.” James called, poking his head through the door, he must have seen the flicker of turmoil on my face as he stilled for a moment. “You alright? You've been awfully quiet these past few weeks?” Past few years would have been more accurate. Remus had gently prodded me many times about my slow change, I'd told him I'd grown up, he'd always wrinkled his nose but dropped it.
Remus was good like that. Waited for you to come to him, I wouldn't be so lucky with Mr James Potter. “Fine mate, you know I don't like these parties.” More lies spilled out of my mouth easier than breathing, is this really what I'd become? James frowned at me stepping a little further into the room, I could practically see the clogs in his head turning with worry, but never suspicion.
Because at heart James was naïve, too trusting. In his mind there was never any doubt that his close friend, that I, would ever need to be suspected. I felt like crying. “Fuck off Pete, your the life of the party. What's actually going on?” I paused, my eyes glued to his face. I wanted to look away, I needed to look away, I swore he could see straight through me. But I didn't, those gorgeous brown eyes continued to pierce mine.
“Honestly?” James nodded softly, never judging. “I just - Everything's changed. Well maybe I've changed, and I just feel so - I'm mourning what we used to be James.” He paused at that, it was the closest to the truth I could get. I didn't even register him crossing the room and putting his arms around me tightly.
“Things have changed, but we all still love you Pete, always will. I promise.” I could have cried. I think I did a little, squeezing him back tightly, my best friend. The word left a bittersweet taste in my mouth. “We're not the marauders if it's not all four of us Peter.” He said with a soft smile, I nodded the lump in my throat not letting me say anything more.
He gently moved back, straightening his glasses, glancing at his watch. “Come on, let's go enjoy this party like we did back then yeah?” He said, tugging my arm towards the door. Accept it was so unlike back then, when it had been us four against the world and that had felt manageable.
I sat silently as James chatted to the driver, always able to make conversation. People who didn't know James would say it was a gift, I knew it was because he couldn't stand the silence. Never had been able to. That one time in 6th year after James had eventually told Sirius he was dating Regulus and Sirius had ignored him for a week had been one of the worst of all our lives. I sighed.
Stark tower was definitely stunning. Tall, striking architecture the avengers logo half constructed on the very top, a symbol of the humans that had saved this side of the world. I'd been here once before, mostly to support James. He loved Lily I was sure of it, but I'd never seen him quite so in love as he had been with Regulus.
When Regulus had come back to Hogwarts from his summer at home, red eyed and covered in bruises we'd all known. James had begged him, sobbed for days to get him to run away. Regulus didn't. His parents had married him off, luckily to Barty. I dreaded to think of what some of the other candidates would have done to him, at least he was safe. Regulus had protected Sirius from having to do it, but in doing so destroyed James.
He'd had his engagement party here, courtesy of Alfred's connections. James hadn't wanted to go, Sirius and Remus had gone ahead, I stayed with James. Hours before it would have been too late he jumped up saying he'd brought tickets. I remembered that car journey, James’ nervous twitching and fidgeting.
But it had been different then, I was assured in myself, I knew them and they knew me. Now I was - a traitor? The word made me shift in my seat as the taxi pulled into the swarms of people trying to get in. James sucked his teeth. “I told Sirius he should have waited for us, how the fuck are we supposed to-” he'd barely opened the door.
“Potter! Over here.” Sirius was waving madly from one of the windows, a glass of some strong looking liquor already in his hand. I paid the driver before slinking after James, Sirius dropped two cards down from the small height. James caught them, turning them over in his hand. “Just push to the front and show those.” He said with a wide grin before disappearing again.
James's soft smile at his antics slowly transferred to my own. “He's fucking mental.” I grumbled as James casted a small repellent charm around us to allow us to wade through easier.
“Always is.” James replied, focused on the task at hand. I'd always admired James’s wand work. It was so subtle unlike him, he'd always been good at discreet and silent incantations. I knew my talents lay with plants, something the infamous James Potter definitely couldn't do, but still. James handed the cards to the security on the door, they allowed us through quickly, ushering us past large glass doors.
The place was heaving. Women in tight dresses, men with their shirts open. Some charity fundraisers alright. Drinks sloshed everywhere, balloons floated in the tall ceilings, music blaring so loud I barely heard James shouting he'd spotted Remus. I nodded following him closely so as not to be separated, the charm did us some good as we broke through the crowd seeing Remus lent against the wall next to a woman in office attire.
“Nice of you to show up.” Remus chuckled dryly, sipping the drink, I followed his and the ladies eyesight, my jaw practically dropping off. Sirius was on the bar, shirtless covered in alcohol as someone, I assumed Tony, was literally licking him clean to the shouts and cheers of the crowd.
“Shit rem.” James said, giving him a sideways hug and a quick sniff at the alcohol in his cup.
“They're both so stupid.” The lady said, slowly tearing her eyes away. “I'm Pepper.” James shook her hand, with a nod at her previous comment. I in turn also shook her hand, my eyes narrowing on her key card, keen eyes debating whether or not there would be valuable information deep behind public access.
“Yeah.” James agreed. “I’ll go talk to him.” He mumbled, I watched his eyes focus into mom mode, I chuckled softly, even Remus managed a laugh. Pepper gently excused herself from Remus and I, heading deeper into the crowd, I moved quickly, a simple acio, before standing next to Remus against the wall.
“She’s pretty Rem?” I teased nudging him sideways, he merely sighed, his eyes still intently focused on Sirius. “Why don’t you talk to him? He thinks you still don’t want to be serious. You know he’s oblivious.” I advised, seeing James practically drag him off the bar, only for Sirius to drag him back up there seconds later. I sighed.
“Maybe I’m sick and tired of being the one that calls all the shots.” Remus muttered, the alcohol already slurring his words.
“You told him outright, Remus, that you wanted a break.” Remus muttered something else incoherently, sometimes he was like talking to a brick wall. I grumbled something about getting a drink and drifted off too. The crowd was thinner towards a large set of metallic doors, two guards stationed either side, one bopping his head along to the music. I gently flicked my wand sending several plant pots off to the side to the floor, drawing their attention long enough to slip unseen through the doors.
The tower was a maze of corridors, taking me several minutes to find a lift. Stereotypically more important rooms were higher up. I felt around in my pocket, pulling James’s cloak free and pulling it over my head. Memories of us, all four of us somehow fitting under this cloak sneaking around the castle. Even though we were all too big now, it felt wrong to be under it alone. The soft ping of the lift reaching the private floors, snapped me from my daze. Focused, I started combing through rooms. Most seemed to be guest rooms, a gym, and a kitchen. I tried the next handle, locked. I whispered the charm and slipped through.
The room was set up like a meeting conference, Screens littered one wall, a round table in the centre, scattered with papers. I gently looked through them, notes and odd things they’d seen during the battle, some of the work Tony had done to counteract magic in his suit even if he didnt know quite what that was. Then I saw it, an image, blurred and almost unidentifiable. Voldemort, his wand sending green sparks straight into the heart of the battle - on civilian police? I dropped the cloak, picking the picture up with shaking hands. Of course I knew what he was capable of, but causing cities to burn? Had he been responsible for making sure no wizards or witches responded to the threat?
“Peter?” I spun round, wand raised, Bruce was standing in the doorway, soft sweatpants and a shirt I knew he wore when thinking.
“Bruce? What are you doing here?” Last I’d heard he was still in India. He slowly lifted his hands in surrender, I dropped my wand, shoving the cloak back in my pocket.
“I live here. I should be asking you what you're doing here. You're pretty far from the party Pete.” He said, tilting his head to one side as if he could see through my façade, like he was trying to work me out. God if he found the answer I’d love to know.
“Looking for a bathroom.” I lied tiredly, running my hand down my face, the slight stubble I hadn't been bothered to shave catching on my hand. Bruce chuckled, peering over my shoulder at the picture.
“Do you know who that is? I haven't been able to identify him, even with all Tony’s tech. He’s like you though isn't he?” Confused at his lack of anger for breaking in, I nodded slowly. “You told me you were doing something bad in your world, to protect your friend, selling information?” I swore lightly, I should have known better than to tell someone, let alone a muggle about the deal Voldemort had made with me. I nodded again, it was strange. Bruce didn't know me half as well as my friends downstairs, but for the first time in a long time, standing in the dimly lit room, I felt seen. More importantly, I felt understood.
“That's him, the man I’m selling the information to.” I admitted the weight lifting from my chest as the words fell from my mouth.
“And you're digging around Stark tower, why?” Bruce inquired, more worried than angry. I swallowed thickly.
“He believed there may be something he needed to know here. I’d say he's right, you have all been busy.” I gestured to the other plans laying scattered around the table. Bruce hummed his agreement, pulling out a chair and sitting. I blinked at him before doing the same.
“We won't be caught off guard like that again.” Bruce agreed. He paused for a moment. “I met James when I was in India. I told you didnt i?” I nodded. Harry had run off, Bruce had sat with him until James had bumped into them. “He’s a lovely man, I see why you like him.” I was about to retort with you can't even imagine, but from the soft look in his eyes he did. I nodded briefly, not sure what else to say.
“He's an amazing father too, Harry is a very lucky little boy.” The words caught in my throat. Selfish, I was selfish. I was protecting James with no thought as to how he'd cope with the loss of his son, he'd never forgive himself. I rested my head on my hands.
“I have to stop this.” I grumbled, Bruce nodded softly, gently taking the picture from my hand, I let him. I could feel the tears burning my eyes. “I didn't- I don't want - it's just.” He shushed me softly.
“I know your intentions were in the right place, but we can't always protect the people we love indefinitely. I think the best thing you can do to protect James is to love him, be his friend and fight with him. He wouldn't want you to do this, to put yourself through this.” Bruce's words seemed to slice through me, waves of emotions I'd pushed down, bubbling over the surface as tears rolled down my face.
“You think he’ll be mad? I can't tell him.” I sobbed, bordering on hysterical. Bruce scooted the chair forward, his hands gently coming onto my shoulders, he slowed his breathing, trying to help me mirror him.
“Listen, you have time to figure that out, your secret is safe with me until then, but something tells me he will understand and forgive you.” He said calmly, his hand rubbing a smoothing circle on my shoulder. I forced myself to breathe a little, in through the nose and out through the mouth. Just like I'd seen Remus do with Sirius. Just like Sirius had done with James. Panic attack, I was having a panic attack.
Bruce seemed to understand, his eyes level and calm and he continued to help me mirror my breathing, soft and steady. It took a while but eventually it slowed. My hands were still shaking with the remains of pins and needles. Bruce offered me a small smile, offering me water. I hadn't even seen him stand to get it.
“I sense it's going to be no easy task to stop what you're doing, I want to make sure you're safe Peter.” Bruce said softly, his eyes held so much genuine concern, he was such a soft man considering who and what the Hulk was. I gulped, nodding slowly.
“I'll be alright while I'm here, he's back in England the last I heard.” I didn't want to think about apparition, how quickly he could find me, kill me, torture me. I took a steading deep breath, I'd be alright, I'd find a way to tell my friends, we'd be okay.
“I'll speak to Tony about inviting you and your friends to stay for a few days, give you time to plan something.” He said his hand still gently rested on my shoulder.
“You don't have-”
“Don't. Please let me try and help in the only way I can.” I nodded, my mouth shutting on instinct. “You should head back down, your absence will be missed.” Bruce said standing. “Jarvis? Delete this footage as soon as Peter leaves, understood?” The cameras around the room blinked into life, a voice echoing through seemingly the air.
“Yes sir.” The voice replied. I blinked at Bruce but he didn't seem to even process my confusion, he ushered me to the door. I scurried past him pulling the cloak from my pocket once more. He didn't seem to be fazed as I disappeared under the material. A small smile that told me he was more thinking of the mechanics of how it worked than why.
“Goodnight Peter.” He said to the thin air before disappearing off back the way he'd come. I shook my head fondly before sneaking back down the dark corridors. I peeked my head into the main room I'd have to sneak through to get to the lift, god awful noises filled the space. The dim light showed Sirius arse naked on top of Tony, both of them moaning loudly. I internally cringed as I slowly edged past them.
“Your friend was watching you the whole time.” Tony muttered with a pant, meeting Sirius movements with eagerness.
“James? Nah he's married. And he fucked my brother so I couldn’t-”
“No, not James.” Tony scoffed, pausing as his head fell back with a groan. “Remus.” Sirius' movements faltered a little before both seemed to reconnect on the pace.
“Yeah - he's he told me we're breaking, so.” Tony raised his eyes but Sirius was obviously hitting a spot as the argument was lost to an orgasm. I half wretched under the cloak moving towards the lift. Poor Remus, needed to get a grip. They both did.
The soft click of the door behind me into the bustling party was enough to snap me back to focus. Self-deprecating thoughts and guilt quickly shoved behind the loud music and the stench of people. I shoved the cloak away, drifting back into the crowd. James sat with Remus happily talking away to a group of people. One I recognised as the blonde Sirius had been trying to set me up with.
Super soldiers weren't my type. I drifted over anyway, James’ eyes lit up as he saw me. “Pete! Where'd you go?” Remus, who was clearly smashed, chuckled.
“Think he got some.” James shoved him a little but wriggled his eyes suggestively at me. I just shrugged, it was easier than lying. “He looks all-” Remus twirled his hands round madly. I ran my hand through my hair self-consciously. James seemed to notice my discomfort as he drew the attention back to him.
Steve, as I discovered his name was, was mid way through scolding in disbelief some of the pranks we’d pulled as kids. I zoned out listening to their voices. The soft pull in the back of my mind of the danger I'd be in if I ignored the meeting. The swap of information, maybe it was better to attend? Tell them that I could no longer complete this, maybe I could lie and say they'd stopped trusting me. Give me time.
“Peter?” James said my name a second time, I blinked at him. “Are you sure you're alright?” I stood up a little skittish. I nodded my head slowly.
“Yeah, yeah I think I just need some air-” I watched him open his mouth to come with, I shook my head. “I'll be alright alone Prongs.” James’ brow creased in worry but he nodded.
“Don't be too long mate, we've been offered to stay here for the night, wouldn't want you lost.” I nodded, bless Bruce. I wove through the steadily thinning crowd towards the doors. Once I felt the cold air on my face, I snuck away to apparate. The pull on my insides as I twisted uncomfortably before landing in solid ground again.
The spot he'd chosen this time was an abandoned car park, hidden behind old derelict buildings. I was expecting to see his usual informant, but a different man was standing there, long brown hair tangled down his back, a mask covering his face but more distinctly a metal arm.
I gulped a little, did he know already? I stepped forward, this man didn't seem magical. My wand gently eased its way into my hand, he didn't seem to register it. “Who are you?” I asked slowly. The man's eyes blankly washed over me, like he was scanning for something.
“Peter. Speak the information you wish to be taken back to the Dark lord.” He was acting like a robot. I gulped.
“I wish to withdraw myself from our agreement, I will not be providing any more information.” I waited for it, for the smoke, the fight, death. Nothing happened. The man nodded, turned and walked away, the soft glint of the moon catching the metal of his one arm. Surely it couldn't be that easy? Right? I let out a shuddered breath, the air smoking in front of me. I closed my eyes as another gentle sob eased its way from my mouth. Relief? Fear? Guilt it all felt the same. I lent against the wall, pulling free some cigarettes, a terrible habit I’d developed from Sirius. The nicotine seemed to dull my nerves enough to stop a second panic attack. My instics still on high alert, waiting for the repercussion of my choice. Nothing happened, and I eventually apparated back to the tower, ready to face my loyal and loving friends once more.