It begins with a letter.
Kieron was now eleven. The adoption process was long and tiring but eventually had gone through and he’d been their boy since. His eleventh birthday was an affair, filled with laughter, balloons and cake and ending with a very messy house. Grant wouldn’t have had it any other way.
The morning the letter arrived, Grant, Marcus, and their kids were sat around the dining room table for breakfast. It was still relatively quiet, as half the table was still half asleep, sleepily munching on their food and trying to yawn themselves awake. Grant had just taken a sip of his tea over the newspaper in his hand when a loud screech outside the window startled him and he nearly spilled hot tea all over himself.
“Good God! Is that an owl?!” Marcus gasped. Grant’s head whipped to the window. Marcus was right. Right outside their window was a large brown barn owl. It perched on the sill, beak tapping at the pane glass like it was knocking to be let in. The owl looked grumpy.
“It’s got something on its leg, dad.” Atif called out. He was the first one up from the table, approaching the window in curiosity. Grant looked at the thick envelope tied to the bird’s leg and his heart beat picked up. There was only one person from that world he was still in touch with and he knew not to send an owl… so why?
“Careful, son. It might be feral.” Marcus warned, snapping Grant from his death stare at the letter. Marcus got up from his chair, presumably to go grab a broom or something to shoo the owl away with. Reaching out, Grant gripped his partner’s arm, stopping him.
“It’s alright.” He said and, god, he hoped his voice didn’t sound as scared as he felt. He could see Marcus’ curious eyes on him though so he continued. “Atif, love, mind opening the window and letting the owl in?”
“Letting the owl in?!” Jon asked incredulously. “Are you mad, dad??” Kieron looked back and forth between his family curiously, like watching a rather engaging tennis match. Atif looked excited at the prospect of bringing a rather wild animal into the flat and went to do as he was told.
The window opened and the owl hopped inside like he was used to doing so. It gave a hoot before making a short flight to the dining room table and landing in front of Kieron. Grant’s youngest son gasped, looking to Grant with scared eyes. Marcus made a move to protect the boy but Grant pulled him back and went around the table himself. He’d never actually received a letter by owl before, but he remembered seeing Remus get his mail that way. He hoped he remembered correctly, and wondered if there really was any sort of procedure to it at all. In the end, he went for it, reaching down and untying the letter from the owl’s leg. After being released from its holdings, the owl gave a hoot, stole a piece of sausage off Kieron’s plate, and took off back out the window.
The letter was thick, and green ink curled in professional script across the back.
To Kieron Chapman-Scott
From Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.
“Grant?” Marcus called out hesitantly. “What is that? And how did-”
“Later.” Grant cut off. He looked to his partner with eyes that told him he’d tell him everything later, then turned to Kieron and handed the letter to him. “This is for you, kid.”
Kieron took it hesitantly, like he thought it might explode. Honestly, Grant wasn’t exactly sure what it would do. He’d never seen any of Remus’ letters do anything but be letters but then again magic, like Remus, was unpredictable. As gently as he could, Kieron opened the envelope, pulling the letter pages out. He unfolded the top one and read,
“Dear Mr Chapman-Scott,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry. Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on 1st of September. We await your owl by no later than 31st of July.”
Kieron’s nose scrunched as he read, and as he finished, he looked up to Grant. “Dad? What’s this mean?”
Grant closed his eyes and took a deep breath. A lot of complicated feelings were resurfacing.
“It means, mate, that I need to make a phone call.”
—-
After a lot of protest from Atif and Jon, they finally managed to shoo the two older boys to their room with lots of promises that all will be explained later. Marcus, bless his heart, was patient. He asked no questions as Grant went to call Teddy. Instead, he handled cleaning up the table and making a fresh batch of tea for the remaining three in the dining room. Kieron alternated between rereading his letter and looking up at his parents.
Teddy Lupin arrived two hours later. It had been a while since Grant had seen him, but he looked even more like Remus as he’d gotten older, though his blue hair now had streaks of purple and green in them, making it almost look like mermaid scales when the light hit it just right. He gave a smile and handshake as he walked in and Grant took it, made vague pleasantries before leading him up to the dining room.
“Marcus, Kieron, this is my friend Teddy. He’s… here to help explain everything.” Grant introduced, gesturing through the introductions. Of course, Marcus knew of Teddy; Grant told him ages ago, but this was the first time they were actually meeting. Teddy walked over and shook Marcus’ hand, then Kieron’s.
“Nice to meet you both! Grant told me Kieron here got a letter to Hogwarts. That’s great!” He gave Kieron a big smile. “I went to school there too, you know?”
“You did???” Kieron asked, eyes wide in wonder. “Am I a witch, then?”
“Hmmm, Wizard, technically. But yeah.”
“Cool.”
“Now hold on.” Marcus interjected. By this point, all four of them were sat back around the table and Grant had a hand on Marcus’ knee, mostly because he needed the closeness more than anything. “Witches and Wizards… they’re real?!” A nod from Teddy and Marcus’ attention turned to Grant. “And you knew.”
Grant nodded. “Remus was one.”
Marcus’ mouth opened in a silent ‘o’ before he snapped it shut again.
“Right.” He said instead, turning away from Grant and back to Teddy. “And… And Kieron is one? Is it genetic, or?”
“Usually, it is.” Teddy replied with a patient nod. “But Muggle borns are becoming more and more frequent these days.”
“Muggle-?”
“It means non magic people, love.” Grant interjected. “Like us. We’re what they call muggles.”
“How much do you know about this?” Marcus asked. He sounded hurt and Grant internally winced. He hated keeping anything from this man.
“Not… Not much. It’s why I asked Teddy to come. I knew a bit from… From Remus but he never really let me in that world. He was… very private about a lot of things.” He looked Marcus in the eye. “I’m sorry I never told you. I didn’t think I had a right. It wasn’t my world to tell, and after Remus… After he died, I didn’t think I would have any contact with magic like that again.” He knows how Marcus must be feeling. Probably as overwhelmed as he had when he first learned. A quick glance at his son showed him looking more awed than overwhelmed, so he focused his attention back on his husband.
Marcus seemed to be trying to piece all the information together, and Grant let him. When he was finally satisfied, he gave a short nod and turned back to Teddy.
“And this school Kieron got accepted to, is it mandatory?”
“Well, no.” Teddy replied with a shake of his head. “But it’s highly recommended. There are other magical schools too, all across the globe, but Hogwarts is closest to you here. It’s in Scotland, actually-”
“Scotland?! So far. So that means it’s a boarding school?”
Oh, right. It would mean Kieron being away from them most of the year. Grant wasn’t sure how he didn’t think about that. The boy had, after years of therapy, finally adjusted to a new semblance of normal but he was still pretty clingy with Grant and Marcus. Would he be able to go to school alone for that long?
“It is.” Teddy continued, unaware of the worried turmoil brewing inside Grant. “Don’t worry! It’s safe, and the teachers are all great. They’re adept at magic too, so Kieron’ll be in safe hands.”
Grant wonders if there are any teachers there that taught Remus.
“I’m not sure…. Sending Kieron that far without meeting any of the teachers or seeing the school?”
“Oh! You can see the school.” Teddy’s eyes lit up. He reached a hand out and tapped on the letter sitting in front of Kieron. “I think there should be mention of it in one of those pages… We started this program after the war, actually.” He flicked through the pages until he found what he was looking for, pulling it out and sliding it to Marcus. Grant took a look at it over his husband’s shoulder. It was a letter in that same curly ink, indicating that all parents could have a tour of the school on the 16th of August, as well as an optional second tour while school was in session, on the 26th of November. “It’s to allow parents- especially muggle parents- to see where their kids go to school every year. A lot of them come each year and it’s lead by Headmaster Mcgonagall. She’s been at the school for ages, so really she’s the best to give this tour.”
There’s buzzing in Grant’s ears. He…. He gets to see the posh school Remus grew up in. It seems like an in to that part of his life that he kept from Grant. A part of him wanted to not go, let Marcus go on the tour alone. Another part of him craved to see it all.
“You mentioned a war?” Marcus piped up a small frown on his face. “Which war? World War II?”
“Oh, no. That was a muggle war.”
“Your wars are different?”
“They’re usually separate. But the wizarding world has been at peace for two decades now! Nothing to worry about.”
Two decades.
“This war… This is the one that..” He couldn’t finish the sentence, but it seems Teddy got it as he nodded.
“Yeah.” Teddy’s gaze was steady as he looked at Grant and Grant understood.
—-
August 16th rolled around in a blink of an eye and Grant found himself wrangling a nervous husband and three excited kids into their VW Golf, with the destination of King’s Cross station. Teddy was gracious enough to arrange a meet up there, so he could show the proper station Kieron would go to on the 1st of September. Grant still wasn’t sure what 9 3/4’s meant.
Teddy met them at the entrance of the station. He was wearing a simple t-shirt and cuffed jeans, showing off purple Doc Martens. Grant was kind of glad to see he wore similar clothes to what they were wearing. He’d forgotten to ask for a dress code and vaguely, he remembers Sirius and Remus would sometimes wear some type of robe fashion.
“Morning!” Teddy called out, jogging to meet them halfway. “Everyone ready? There’s a lot of ways we can travel to the school, but I figured the train was the best. Bit long of a ride, though.” He chattered on as they walked through the station. They arrived at a large brick pillar separating platform 9 and 10. For how busy the station was, there was a suspicious lack of people around them now. Teddy turned to them, giving a sheepish smile. “Er, they’ve opened the platform up for muggles for this tour, so we have charms around the place so non-magic related muggles can’t accidentally stumble in.” He explained, probably seeing the questioning look on Grant’s face.
“But where is the station?” Kieron asked. His neck was craned as high as it would go as he searched the numbers. “I don’t see a three-quarters anywhere!”
“Er, it’s through there.” Teddy’s head jerked toward the brick pillar. “It’s easier for first timers to take a run at it.”
“A run?! At the wall?! Are you mad, mate??!” Atif accused, looking at Teddy like the boy had a knob loose or something. Honestly, all of them were looking at Teddy that way, even Grant.
Teddy shrugged. “I know it sounds mad, you just have to trust the process.” And with that, he took a few steps back and seemed to melt into the wall. Kieron gasped and Jon let out a swore that got an instinctive ‘language’ from Marcus.
Then, without hesitation, Kieron took off running at the barrier. Grant’s heart picked up and he took off after his son, worried the boy was going to hurt himself.
This was a bad idea. This was a bad idea. This was a bad idea-
Kieron disappeared into the wall and Grant couldn’t even think before he was following. A second of pitch blackness before they were back on the platform.
No. Not back on the platform, but on a new one.
A large, red locomotive sat before them, rumbling softly in wait. An expanse of greenery spanned behind it, despite the fact that the platforms they were just on was inside. On the platform itself, were a myriad of families; some looking as nervous as Grant felt, while others seem a bit more used to it. Children were chatting excitedly with each other, making fast friends in that way only children could.
Kieron was staring at the train with awestruck eyes and Grant quickly made his way over and wrapped a protective arm around his son. A glance over his shoulder showed him that the rest of the family had followed them through the barrier. Atif first, then Jon, and finally Marcus stumbling after them, muttering bewilderment in Italian.
Looking around, Grant spotted Teddy helping another family.
They milled around until others started piling up into the train, then they followed suit. Finding an empty cart was easy enough. They let Kieron lead the charge until he found one was a good view of the country side. Grant wondered if Remus sat in these very seats years ago.
Teddy was right. The ride was a long one, with Teddy himself popping in for a few minutes before he was called elsewhere. Apparently, the young man was a volunteer for the tour, and not just there out of the goodwill of his heart.
The rest of the way there was a blur Grant hardly remembered. He’d mentally checked out, letting his kids and husband talk amongst themselves as he placed his head against the window and watched the country blur by.
For the first time in nearly two decades, he let his thoughts be consumed by Remus. It was like he could feel Remus’ presence all around him, like a cloud he couldn’t touch. Wisps of memories that he never knew, but could imagine. He thinks if he closes his eyes and tries hard enough, he could smell Remus like the man was once again next to him.
Again, that feeling like this was a bad idea arose in him.
He was too close. Too close to unleashing feelings he closed off years ago.
He doesn’t remember getting off the train, or getting on a horseless carriage. He comes to at last as they were being crowded into the entrance of a large castle along with the other families. There’s awed murmurs buzzing around them.
“I didn’t know it was a castle!” A little girl Kieron’s age loudly exclaimed. Her small hand was fisted into the folds of her father’s pant leg. There was a murmur of agreement from most of the other people there. Grant had to agree. Whenever Remus had talked about his school, he’d always simply pictured a posher St Edmund’s. Never in his wildest dreams did he think the school would be an actual castle.
Footsteps echoed off the walls as a tall, elderly woman in dark green robes walked down the stairs toward them. Her posture was rigid straight and she carried herself with an air of authority. Next to her, was a younger man. His dark hair was impossibly messy, a scar shaped like lightning stretched white across his tan face, and out of date round glasses perched upon his nose. He had an easy going smile on his face that contrasted deeply with the tired look in his emerald green eyes.
“It is a pleasure to have so many of you attend this tour.” The woman greeted as she stopped in front of the crowd. “I am headmistress of this school, Minerva Mcgonagall. This here next to me is Harry Potter. We will be your guides today on this tour.”
The tour was, simply put, magical.
The halls were wide and filled with those moving portraits. There were even a few ghosts that roamed the halls and greeted them all friendly like. The headmistress described each class in detail as they went room to room. Kieron seemed excited about transfiguration.
Most of the talking was done by the Headmistress. The other guy, Harry Potter, seemed content to just follow the tour and occasionally make a quip or two about his own time as a student at the school.
Again, like in the train, Grant imagined a young Remus wandering these halls. He wondered what classes Remus took. What was his favorite subject?
They made their ways through each of the ‘houses’ dorms. Grant rather enjoyed the hufflepuff dorms. He wondered what house Remus was in. He’d wished he’d asked before… before he couldn’t.
Their next stop was the courtyard. It was a huge field of green grass and criss-crossing pathways that connected different parts of the castle to each other. In the middle was a enormous statue of… The Harry Potter guy? The stone Harry Potter stood proudly, arm raised high above his head, holding a wand toward the sky. The eyes on the Harry Potter statue was heroically determined, unlike the tired ones on the real Harry Potter.
The others in the crowd glanced at the real Harry Potter in wonder, eliciting a blush across the man’s sheepish cheeks.
Around the statue, was a ring of dark stone about 10 feet in height. Tiny words were etched in gold on every outwardly facing surface of the stone wall. As they got closer, Grant realised the etchings were names. Hundreds and hundreds of names.
“This is the memorial of the fallen.” Headmistress Mcgonagall announced, stopping in front of the statue. “Twenty years ago, the Wizarding world was plagued in a devastating war. We won, thanks to Mr. Potter here.” She nodded toward Harry, who looked very put out for being put on the spot like this. “This wall has the names of each and every person who lost their lives in the war, as a remembrance of their bravery and sacrifice.”
She allowed them to go and look at the names. Grant’s steps trembled. He knew; knew Remus’ name was on there. His eyes glanced over each name hungrily, searching for the name like his life depended on it.
There it was.
In the sea of names carved into the dark stone, was the one Grant was searching for.
Remus John Lupin 1960-1998
Battle of Hogwarts
The pain in his chest intensified ten fold and two decades of tears welled up and spilled over. Oh, it was so much more painful to see the proof of Remus’ death.
[ Remus, Remus, /oh Remus/.
Why did you have to die? What was going through your head in your last moments? Would you have survived if I’d stayed? Did you get to reunite with Sirius?
Oh, Remus.
I miss you so much.
My soulmate who wasn’t meant to be. ]
Grant didn’t realize he’d sunk to his knees, sobbing. A gentle warm hand clutched his shoulder and when he finally managed to look up, he saw it was his husband. Marcus knelt down next to him, pulling him into a tight embrace. It was the same kind of embrace Grant had pulled Marcus into in their first year of the relationship, when John’s death day had rolled around. Grant’s lips wobbled and he let out a wrecked sob, burying his face into Marcus’ shirt and letting him rock him back and forth until his crying stilled.
A bit embarrassed, Grant pulled back and wiped his eyes with the sleeve of his shirt. He looked around and noticed no one was with them in courtyard.
“They all continued the tour. Don’t worry, you weren’t even crying when they left.” Marcus informed him. He placed a soft kiss to Grant’s cheek. “I told them we’ll catch up. The Headmistress seemed to understand.” Grant gave a watery chuckle and nodded, glad no one saw his break down.
“Mind if we just… stay here a bit longer?” Grant asked.
“Baby, we can stay here as long as you need.”
That’s the reassurance Grant needed and suddenly he was tired. So tired. He continued to hold Marcus’ hand but leant back on the memorial plaque. The cool stone seemed to quell his headache just a bit and, ironically, if he turned to the right, he saw he was eye level with Remus’ name.
Oh, Remus.
A soft, awkward cough caught their attention.
Harry Potter was standing there, hands deep in his pockets making him look more like an awkward teen and not a full grown adult.
“Sorry.” He apologized. “Didn’t want to bother you, but I’m to bring you back to the tour when you’re ready.”
“Oh, right. Sorry.” Grant cleared his throat, feeling increasingly embarrassed. He scrambled to his feet. “I didn’t mean to- Oh god. This is so embarrassing.”
Harry shook his head. “Nah. I know how you feel. You’re a muggle, right? Didn’t know you would know anyone.” He nodded at the names. “I’ve… memorized them all. Mind if I ask who it was?”
“Oh. His name was Remus. Remus Lupin.” Grant replied.
Harry’s smile tightened.
“… You knew Remus?” He asked, voice unreadable.
“He was my… My friend.” Grant said. “Did you know him too, then?”
“Yeah. He was my dad’s best friend.”
“Oh.”
“Yeah.”
There was an awkward silence.
Unlike Teddy, who seemed to not have grown up with much turmoil, Harry carried himself a lot like Remus had. Haunted, guarded, and tired. He didn’t ask about Grant’s stories on Remus, and Grant didn’t ask Harry for his. They both understood each other’s grief.
Harry cleared his throat.
“Shall we go back to the tour, then?”
Grant nodded.
“Yeah.”