Part 1
__________
Regulus has been sitting in his bed for the past hour, feeling completely idiotic. Currently, he’s staring at his phone, watching as Pandora slowly makes her way to his house. Of course, he was venting to Sirius. He knew Sirius had been having a similar crisis to what he’s going through, and thought his brother could be of at least some help. But Lupin had dragged him away before Regulus could say much. And trust him, he had a lot more to say.
And so maybe it would haunt him for the rest of his life, he would never be able to live this down, but he called Pandora. Called her and asked that she came over as soon as physically possible, that he needed to talk in person. Even though she lives half an hour away. However, she had not been in as much of a rush as Regulus had implied.
So now he’s sitting in bed, watching as she inches closer and closer. It’s pathetic really, how urgent he is to have her over. Just so he can gossip and giggle like a teenager over a crush . Maybe not even a crush, maybe just a physical attraction to someone. A father , of all the men he could have possibly had an attraction for. But this always happens, at least once a year.
He hears the doorbell, and honestly thank the Lord. He didn’t know how much longer he could have gone in
his own thoughts.
Begrudgingly, he gets up, slowly making his way to the door. He opens it, and there’s Pandora, smiling a little more than what’s normally appropriate for such an urgent matter. It’s as if she already knows what he was talking about, and honestly she was probably right.
“Well? Need to talk?” She asks, wiggling her eyebrows in a manner that suggests she knows exactly why she’s here.
“So much.” Regulus sighs, inviting her in. She sits down in the living room, already looking at home. Although, it makes sense. Regulus can’t even count just how many times she’s been here even within the last month. He comes and plops down next to her, leaning back into the couch. She dramatically turns her body to him, obviously trying to hold back a laugh.
“Now,” She says, messing with her rings, “I might be wrong, but could this talk potentially include that hella hot father that gets you all flustered?”
Regulus groans, tilting his head backwards, and that’s all Pandora needs before she’s laughing. And then Regulus hears the snap of a picture and he instantly looks down to glare at her.
“You’re red.” She states bluntly before snapping another picture.
Regulus rolls his eyes, shaking his head at her, “God, why of all people did I go to you?”
“Oh, would you have rather gone to Evan? Or Barty? Or, heaven forbid, your cousins ?” Pandora teases, and just like that Regulus is shoving at her shoulders, trying to push her away.
“Okay yeah I get it you were the most sensible choice, but still not a very good one.” Regulus grumbles, crossing his arms and feeling quite like a toddler himself. He can see Pandora struggling to hide laughter and can’t help but roll his eyes again. “I really need to get better friends.” He mutters to himself.
“Hey! I am a great friend when I want to be.” Pandora retorts. Regulus simply gives her a glance that causes her to throw a pillow at him, laughing. “Now, what was I here for again? Oh right, the utter mess that is you falling in love with a straight man.”
“I am not in love , I am attracted to him.” Regulus corrects, but he can feel his entire body start to heat up.
“Sure, not yet .” Pandora teases, which only causes Regulus to blush more. He sees the laugh she’s holding in. It’s infuriating to him, really.
Laughing about my pain?
“Yeah, my suffering is hilarious .” Regules says, sounding way too petty for his own liking, “Laugh all you want as I sit here wondering how I could fall for someone straight again . Completely ridiculous, you have all right to laugh, actually. Because I’ve done this before, and it’s ended the same way every time. I should just cut out my heart. Then, I wouldn’t be able to feel this stupid emotion.”
“Okay, Regulus, let's not do that.” Pandora suggests.
“Then what do you suggest? In 2 weeks I’m going to see his wife, then go home and cry myself to sleep and then not go into work that morning.” Regulus complains, “God I hate this. Why was I made like this? Why?”
“Because if you were a mentally stable hetero, your life would be so boring.” Pandora tells him, playing off his pain as a joke .
“I like boring!” Regulus yells.
“Then why the hell are you friends with the people your friends with?” Pandora asks. That’s the second time she’s brought up his incredibly confusing friendships. He himself is wondering why he’s still friends with these utter idiots.
“Because.” Regulus states bluntly, adding much quieter, “They can relate.”
Pandora laughs, “Because Barty and Evan fall in love with straight guys?”
“They think they do anyway.” Regulus answers, and then they both share a moment of laughter for their imbeciles of friends.
“I see what you’re doing, you know.” Pandora warns, “You’re trying to change the subject. And it’s not going to work.”
Regulus feels himself wanting to pout again. He pushes it away as he mutters, “Well it was working for a minute there.” Not much better .
“Anyway, what did you need?” Pandora asks, laying her hands on her lap and batting her eyelashes.
“I need for you to shut up and allow me to vent without being judged.” Regulus grumbles, “That is the only way I’m opening up to you.”
Pandora rolls her eyes, but makes a motion of zipping her lips together.
Regulus sighs, “Thank you.”
And he continues to tell her every single terrible, embarrassing, explicit thought in his mind about James. And Pandora doesn’t talk at all, no, but the look in her eyes says it all. There will be teasing. There will be Regulus getting even more embarrassed.
But he’s plenty prepared for that
***
Even the next morning, Regulus is shocked that he told Pandora everything. He knew it was risky, still knows even now, but he just couldn’t have said those things to Sirius, his brother . How utterly mortifying. No, Pandora is not much better, but at least he knew she wouldn’t coil up in disgust at every quite dirty thing Regulus had to say about James.
He’s welcoming children in, back at the class that started this in the first place. He’s mentally prepared, or so he assumes, for this next day to come.
That is until he feels a tap on his shoulder and turns to see Pandora smirking at him.
“Oh God, Pandora.” Regulus mutters, but Pandora is already off.
“Soooo… did your dream husband arrive yet?”
Regulus can feel his face heat up, and butterflies swarm around in his stomach. Oh, how he hates this feeling. “Pandora! Shut up, I’m at work.”
Pandora simply laughs, her smirk becoming more mischievous the longer she stands there.. “Oh, you don’t want him to hear about your little crush~”
“Panda! Stop it.” Regulus interrupts, face and practically his entire body hot as he pushes her. He can’t help but have his eyes dart around, making sure not a single person hears this incredibly embarrassing conversation happening right now.
Pandora seems to take that as simply nervous about James.
“And you’re definitely not glancing around nervously as if he’s just gonna pop up and automatically know everything.” She retorts, crossing her arms with an eyebrow raised.
Regulus rolls his eyes before fixing a harsh glare on her, desperately trying to ignore the rushing blood in his face, “Pandora I swear to God .”
“Oh, look, here he comes!”
“What?” Regulus whips around, turning to see James walking, smiling and waving at him. Regulus turns back around, because his face hasn’t even dialed down in color one bit. James can’t see him like this. “Oh shit I- You get out of here. I really don’t trust you.”
“Rude!” Pandora gasps.
“I know you’re just going to humiliate me.” Regulus mumbles, “More than you already have.”
“Mr. Reggie?”
Regulus shuts his eyes tight, and any hope of bringing his face down to a normal colour flies out the window. His voice, saying that name, does wonders to Regulus’ heart that he can’t even begin to describe.
When he opens his eyes, he watches as Pandora mouths, “Have fun.”
And of course, right as she starts to walk away Regulus grabs her arm, signaling for her to stay somewhat close as he turns around, plastering a smile on, “Mr. Potter! Pleasure to see you again. Harry.” He nods to James’ son, who has quite a lot of questioning in his eyes for a toddler, “How are we today?”
“Oh, all the better to be here.” James laughs, “It’s nice to see you.”
Regulus can feel his heart flipping at the sincerity in James’ voice. “It’s nice to see you too.” He gets out, still smiling. He can hear the soft chuckles of Pandora behind him, but pretends like it’s not there, and he can only hope that James does too.
“Well, I’ll get going then.” James looks down at his son, and honestly fuck him because of the way he handles Harry, “I’ll see you in a couple of hours, alright?”
Harry nods, beaming as he sees Luna behind in the classroom. James smiles at Harry’s happiness, and Regulus practically melts. James beams, then waves a soft goodbye while Harry runs away. And then he looks at Regulus.
And Regulus truly thinks he's seen no greater beauty than the man standing before him. God, fuck him and his stupid hair. How badly Regulus wants to touch it.
Oh fuck me . Regulus thinks vaguely.
“Well, I'll see you too, I guess. Bye Mr. Reggie.” James waves with a smile, backing up.
“Bye.” Regulus murmurs, almost in a daze in the way he makes Regulus feel. It's sickening. He can feel the smirk Pandora has on, before he even turns and looks at it. Cunning and perfectly lopsided. Stupid.
“‘Bye…’” She whispers, reaching a hand out and looking quite desperate in her attempt to re-enact Regulus.
If Regulus’ face has somehow gotten better it’s a mess the second he sees that, “Shut it, will you? God.”
Pandora shrugs, that stupid victorious smirk back on her face, “I’m just showing you how you looked.”
Regulus scoffs, “Oh, I know for a fact I did not look like that .”
“Do you?” Pandora cocks her head, raising an eyebrow in question. She looks almost pitiful, “Your voice was breathy, Regulus. Eyes unfocused, face longing. Don’t tell me that’s a lie. You know it’s not.”
Regulus buries his head in his hands, forbidding anyone to see what a bloody mess he is. “Just shut up and leave . Class is about to start and I would like to look presentable.” He can hear Pandora giggle as she leaves, without
another word. It takes Regulus an entire extra minute before he can lift his face, only to see Harry staring at him in confusion.
“What’s wrong, Mr. Reggie?” He asks, tilting his head to the side.
Regulus shakes his head, “Nothing, Harry. Just… deep in thought.”
“What are you thinking about?”
“Nothing. Uh, you wouldn’t understand, anyway. Adult thoughts.” Regulus tries, although with the way Harry looks sometimes, it feels as though he would know exactly what Regulus was thinking.
And he does. “Are you thinking about Papa?”
Regulus has to stop his face from showing the complete shock and humiliation of being asked that. By James’ son. How bloody terrible. “Now, why would you think that?” Regulus asks, trying to keep his voice from rising.
“Well, the way you were looking at him. Like you never wanted to stop looking at him.” Harry comments, as if it’s a totally normal occurrence to talk to a teacher about feelings.
“That is very insightful of you, Harry. But no, I am not thinking about your father. You may have looked too closely.” Regulus tries to joke, begging his heart to calm down. He fears he may have a heart attack from how fast
it’s pumping out blood.
“Well, it would be fine, if you wanted to.” Harry says, before gesturing for Regulus to lean over. And him, being him, he has to comply, “Because my father thinks you’re pretty.” Harry whispers.
The thought alone causes both heat waves and shivers all over Regulus’ body as he forces out a laugh. “That is quite the thought, Harry. What ever happened that would cause your creative mind to think up something like that?”
Harry shrugs, “He said so himself. I heard him.”
Regulus lets out another startled laugh, trying not to let the thought go to his head. “Harry, maybe you mis heard him. I doubt he said that.”
“You don’t know him.” Harry says rather defensively.
Regulus laughs, “Alright, Harry. Whatever you say. Now, go sit down so I can start today’s lesson.” Harry runs off, eager to sit with Draco, Luna, and Ginny — the ginger girl. They instantly get to talking and laughing, and a paranoid part of his mind thinks of if Harry is telling them about his father. As well, if Luna is contributing. He can never trust the people in his life, he supposes.
Sighing, he goes up to the front of the classroom, putting on a smile to hopefully hide the insane amount of feeling in his chest.
God, how he hates crushes.