THE ASTRONOMY TOWER
The weeks passed in a maddening rhythm. Regulus found himself both drawn to and tortured by James's presence, which seemed to linger like a shadow even when James wasn’t there.
There were moments that tethered him to this strange, fragile existence. Once, in the library, James leaned over Regulus to grab a book, his hand brushing Regulus’s shoulder. The brief contact sent a shock of awareness through Regulus, leaving him staring blankly at his parchment long after James had wandered back to Lily.
Another time, Sirius cracked a joke that left everyone laughing. Regulus, usually stoic, allowed a small chuckle to escape. James, who was across the common room, caught it, and their eyes met. James winked at him, and Regulus spent the rest of the gathering pretending he wasn’t replaying the moment in his mind.
But then the final weeks of term arrived, and everything shifted. James became scarce, buried in preparation for his NEWTs. The absence carved a hollow ache in Regulus’s chest, more excruciating than the tension of being near James. At least when James was there, Regulus could silently marvel at his laugh, his easy confidence, his kindness. But now, the silence left him with too much time to think.
Worse still, the thought of the future loomed heavy. Regulus couldn’t imagine a world outside the walls of Hogwarts—a world where James Potter wouldn’t be a part of his everyday life. The very idea of it left him feeling untethered, as if he might drift into nothingness.
One night, unable to bear the restlessness, Regulus slipped out of bed and made his way to the Astronomy Tower. The castle was quiet, the faint hum of magic in the air the only sound as he ascended the spiral staircase.
He stepped onto the tower and exhaled, letting the cool night air wash over him. The stars were brilliant, scattered like diamonds across a velvet sky. Regulus sat down, his back against the cold stone, and stared upward, letting his thoughts unravel.
The vastness of the stars reminded him of his old life—the weight of the Black family name, the suffocating expectations, and the hollow victory of sacrificing everything to destroy Voldemort. He wondered what other paths his life could have taken had he made different choices. Would he still have been miserable, or could he have found peace without the guilt and blood on his hands?
Lost in thought, he barely registered the faint sound of footsteps behind him. He froze, turning his head sharply toward the noise, but the tower was empty. The shadows stretched long, cast by the moonlight, and for a moment, Regulus thought his mind was playing tricks on him.
Regulus turned back to the stars, his mind still heavy with thoughts of what could have been, when another sound broke the silence—closer this time. He tensed, looking back sharply, his hand instinctively reaching for his wand.
“Boo!”
Regulus nearly jumped out of his skin as James Potter materialized in front of him, pulling off an invisibility cloak with a triumphant grin.
“You absolute git!” Regulus hissed, clutching his chest. “What the hell is wrong with you?”
James doubled over with laughter, barely able to catch his breath. “Your face—oh, Merlin, I wish I had a Pensieve to replay that. Priceless!”
Regulus glared at him, but the corners of his mouth twitched despite himself. “You’re lucky I didn’t hex you, you idiot.”
“Lucky? Come on, Reg, admit it—that was brilliant.” James plopped down next to him, still chuckling, his glasses slightly askew.
Regulus shook his head, though he couldn’t stop the small laugh that escaped him. “You’re insufferable.”
“And you’re predictable,” James shot back with a smirk, leaning back on his elbows.
Regulus rolled his eyes but didn’t reply, instead turning his gaze back to the stars.
“So,” James began, breaking the silence. “What are you doing up here, all broody and mysterious?”
Regulus shot him a sidelong glance. “I could ask you the same thing.”
James grinned, his expression as open and unguarded as ever. “Needed to escape Remus. He’s gone full dictator with the studying. I swear, the man’s planning to invade my dreams with flashcards.”
Regulus let out a soft chuckle. “Sounds like a nightmare.”
“It is.” James sighed dramatically, then looked at Regulus with a hint of curiosity. “But seriously, what about you? What brings you up here?”
Regulus hesitated. He couldn’t tell James the truth—that he’d been grappling with memories of a world James didn’t know, one where everything was darker, heavier. Instead, he tilted his head toward the sky.
“I’m looking for Regulus,” he said simply.
“Oh.” James followed Regulus's gaze, scanning the sky until he spotted the small but steady glow just above the horizon. He smiled softly and pointed. “There you are. As beautiful as ever.”
Regulus turned to look at him, startled by the comment. For a moment, he couldn’t tell if James was talking about the star—or him.
“How do you know where it is?” Regulus asked, his voice quieter than before.
James shrugged, his tone casual but his smile lingering. “It’s easier to spot when Sirius is behind the sun. He stops overshadowing you.”
Regulus felt his chest tighten, warmth spreading in a way he couldn’t quite name. He quickly turned his attention back to the sky, letting the soft glow of the star distract him from the confusing thoughts swirling in his head.
James leaned back on his elbows, gazing at the stars. “You know,” he started, his voice quieter than usual, “I don’t think I ever told you how much I missed this—having you around again.”
Regulus blinked, caught off guard by the sudden sentiment. “Having me around?” he echoed, keeping his tone even.
James smiled, a touch of sadness in it. “Yeah. You might not remember, but before you ended up in the infirmary, we were… I don’t know, close. Always together. I guess I didn’t realize how much I missed you until now.”
Regulus tilted his head, trying to mask the wave of conflicted feelings that surged inside him. “I can’t imagine us being ‘always together.’” He said it lightly, but his heart was beating faster. “What were we like?”
James’s grin widened, softening as he leaned forward. “Oh, you were a terror,” he said with a laugh. “There was this one time. We were out by the lake, skipping stones. You bet me I couldn’t skip one all the way to the opposite shore.”
Regulus raised an eyebrow, a faint smirk tugging at his lips. “Sounds like something I’d do.”
“Oh, it was exactly something you’d do,” James said, laughing. “I spent hours trying. You just sat there with that smug look, going, ‘Not even close, Potter.’”
Regulus chuckled despite himself. “And?”
“And then,” James continued, shaking his head fondly, “I finally caught on that you’d enchanted a bloody rock to skip perfectly. You were nearly rolling on the ground from laughing so hard.”
Regulus couldn’t help it—he laughed. “You must’ve been furious.”
“I was!” James exclaimed, grinning. “But… I don’t know, you just have this way of making it impossible to stay mad at you. Even when you were being a little git.”
Regulus looked away, his laughter fading. He couldn’t tell if the ache in his chest was from longing or guilt.
James sighed, his voice dropping to something more intimate. “I really missed that—you. Having you back now… it’s good, you know?”
Regulus’s throat tightened, and he looked back at the stars, unable to meet James’s gaze. What was he supposed to say? The James in this world had no idea about the real Regulus—the one who had altered everything.
He forced a small smile. “Well, I’m here now,” he said softly, unsure if the words were for James or himself.
The silence stretched between them, James watching him with that same warm, open expression. Regulus wanted so desperately to believe in this friendship, to take the comfort it offered. But the weight of the timeline he’d rewritten held him back, a constant reminder of the truth only he carried.
James shifted slightly, moving closer to Regulus as the cool night air wrapped around them. The stars above shimmered brightly, casting a soft light over their faces. Regulus could feel the warmth radiating from James, their shoulders nearly brushing, and it was making it increasingly hard to focus on anything but the boy sitting next to him.
“You know,” James began, his voice low “sometimes I come up here to clear my head. Helps me remember there’s more to life than… all the noise, you know?”
Regulus turned to him, his expression softer than usual. “And what noise is bothering you tonight, Potter?”
James smiled faintly, running a hand through his hair. “I guess… just the future. NEWTs, what comes after, figuring out who I want to be. It’s a lot to think about.”
Regulus hesitated, then said, “You’ll be fine. You always figure it out. You’re… annoyingly good at that.”
James laughed, a quiet, heartfelt sound that sent a strange warmth through Regulus. “Annoyingly, huh? That’s a new compliment.”
They sat in silence for a moment, the quiet broken only by the rustle of leaves and the distant sound of the lake. James tilted his head back to look at the stars, and Regulus’s gaze lingered on him, taking in the curve of his jaw and the way his glasses caught the starlight.
“You know,” James said suddenly, turning to meet Regulus’s eyes, “I don’t think I’ve thanked you properly.”
Regulus frowned slightly. “For what?”
“For being here,” James replied, his voice softer now. “I don’t know what it is, but… having you around again feels like something I didn’t know I needed.”
Regulus’s breath caught in his throat. He looked away, trying to mask the flush rising to his cheeks. “I’m not doing anything special,” he muttered.
“You are, to me,” James said quietly, and the weight of those words hung between them, heavy and charged.
Regulus’s eyes snapped back to James, but before he could say anything, James reached out and gently took his hand. The touch was warm, grounding, and yet it sent a jolt of electricity through Regulus’s entire being.
James’s thumb brushed over the back of Regulus’s hand, lingering for a moment too long. His gaze softened, the intensity of it making Regulus feel utterly exposed. “Goodnight, Regulus,” he said, his voice barely above a whisper, and then, before Regulus could react, James leaned down and pressed a kiss to the back of his hand.
The touch was fleeting, but it left a searing impression. Regulus’s heart thundered in his chest as James pulled back, a small, almost shy smile playing on his lips.
“Sleep well,” James added as he stood, his movements slow and deliberate.
Regulus couldn’t find the words to respond. He simply watched as James walked toward the stairs, his silhouette outlined by the faint glow of the stars.
As James disappeared down the staircase, Regulus let out a shaky breath, his hand still tingling where James’s lips had been. He turned back to the stars, his thoughts racing, unable to shake the lingering feeling of James’s touch or the way his name had sounded in James’s voice.