The shitty siblings club
Remus was, by all intents and purposes, a shoddy prefect. Don’t get Lily wrong, he was one of her dearest friends. That didn’t mean she could understand why Dumbledore and McGonagall chose him for prefect when he and his friends were responsible for playing dozens of pranks and idiotic jokes on the entire student body. It wasn’t like becoming a prefect had suddenly whipped him into shape either- perfectly evidenced by the fact that Lily was still waiting for him in the hallway when they were supposed to begin their rounds five minutes ago.
Finally, just as she was about to start walking around on her own, he sped down the hallway, straightening his clothes and running his other hand through his messy hair.
“Sorry, Lily. I lost track of time.” He panted out an apology, catching his breath.
She rolled her eyes in response, glancing down at her watch as they set off on their rounds. “It’s fine, Remus. Honestly, I’d be more concerned when you started taking being a prefect seriously.”
He scoffed indignantly. “I take it seriously!”
“You and your friends have been single-handedly responsible for losing us the house cup the past five years!” Lily exclaimed. “I think you’ve actually taken years off of McGonagall’s life.”
Remus couldn’t help grinning at this. “Oh, she loves me. She’s the one who made me a prefect.”
“I still can’t believe that.” She shook her head.
“To be fair, her options were pretty slim. And you put me beside the rest of the lads, and I’m a model student- a regular Frank Longbottom.” He pointed out, glancing down the corridors as they walked by.
She turned to him ready to retort, when she paused to take in his appearance for the first time that night. His messed up hair, untucked shirt, loose tie, and the slight flush dying down in his cheeks.
“Remus John Lupin!” Lily stopped walking, holding her hand out in front of her. “Are you seeing somebody?”
“No, I-“ He hesitated, face turning more red. “Why would you think I was?”
His reaction was all the confirmation she needed. “Well, you look like someone just snogged the shit out of you for starters.”
“I do not.” Even as he said that though, Remus tugged on his shirt self-conciously.
Lily shrugged, turning around to continue walking. “Fine, you don’t have to tell me.”
It was definitely going to bother her, but she was smart enough to know you couldn’t force Remus to tell you anything. She was proven right almost immediately, they walked in silence for another minute before he sighed and stopped abruptly again, arms crossed.
“Look, I’d like to tell you, really. I just don’t know if I can.”
Lily fixed him with a look of confusion, before a thought that seemed glaringly obvious in hindsight occurred to her. She felt saddened at the thought that Remus would believe he couldn’t tell her something like that.
“You know I won’t care if it’s a bloke, right?” She said gently.
He looked down to meet her eyes, smiling gratefully. “I know you won't, Lily. He- he’s just not comfortable with a lot of people knowing just yet.”
“So,” She paused. “This guy you’re seeing-“
“Dating.” He corrected her.
“-Dating. He doesn’t want people to know?”
He seemed to hear the judgement in her voice, if the way his expression turned sour was any indicator.
“Don’t judge me, please.”
Lily reached out, putting a hand on Remus’ shoulder. “I’m not judging you. I just think you deserve someone who’s proud-”
“Lily, I get what you’re saying, but it’s-” He paused over his next words. “It’s complicated. And I don’t know how to explain it to you without saying something I shouldn’t.”
She nodded hesitantly, giving him a small smile. “Alright, I trust you. You just make sure this guy’s worth your time, otherwise he’ll have me to deal with.”
He grinned, shaking his head and pushing off the wall he was leaning on. “I’ll make sure to let him know.”
“How long have you been together, anyways?”
“Since May.”
She scoffed indignantly, swatting Remus’ arm. “What, were you just planning on never telling me?”
“Ow! And I told you, we wanted to keep it to ourselves for a bit.”
“I’ll bet you told Potter, Black, and Pettigrew the minute it happened.” She raised an eyebrow. He bit his lip, as if suppressing a laugh at something she’d said.
“It would’ve been impossible to keep it from them, even if I wanted to.”
She nodded, the four of them functioned like a pack would- you never saw one without at least one other member.
“Well, maybe not Peter. And James was relieved I didn’t fancy you, can you believe it?” Remus added, laughing. “I don’t know how long he’d been thinking that, the idiot.”
Lily giggled as she checked her watch. “That’d be insane, why would he think that?”
“I have no idea, but don’t worry, we are not letting him live it down anytime soon. Especially Sirius, he found the whole thing absolutely hilarious.”
“Finally, I agree with Black on something.”
Remus rolled his eyes. “Oh come on, he is not that bad.”
“Just mildly insufferable.” Lily shrugged.
“Potions not going well, then?”
“He’s fine, I suppose.” She waved her hand in dismissal. “Although, I’m finally starting to realize just how much he talks. My God, I could say two words the whole class and he’d still not shut up!”
He smiled fondly at this. “You’ve just got to straight up order him to stop, it’s the only way.”
“I’ll try that next time, thanks.”
Despite what she said, Remus was right that Lily really didn’t find Sirius that bad. He was certainly obnoxious, but she could admit that he could actually be quite funny at times. Especially because their supposed friendship served to agitate Severus further, which gave Lily a secret sort of vindication. She didn’t verbalize any of these thoughts, however, not wanting to give Black the satisfaction.
The two of them did a few more laps, not really trying to find any students, but mostly just wanting to stay out long enough for Frank, the Head Boy, to be satisfied. Doing rounds didn’t feel like much of a chore when Lily was with Remus, though. It was some of the only time they got to catch up, just the two of them, and she had missed him deeply over the holidays. As she teased him about his new secret boyfriend and laughed at the way he grew embarrassed, a small voice in the back of her head drew a comparison of her friendship with Remus and the one she had with Severus. She couldn’t remember the last time she was this comfortable around Severus, and Lily was beginning to realize that despite all her worries, life was moving on.
~
Lily froze at the sight of someone by the fireplace as she descended the stairs to the common room, not expecting anyone else to be there. She had fallen into the habit of coming and sitting by the fire when she couldn’t sleep, which granted, was becoming almost daily. Having had another restless night, she gave up and grabbed a book to curl up by the fire. However, this time her usual spot was occupied by none other than Sirius Black. Just as she turned around, resigned to trying her hand at sleeping again, he broke the silence.
“Don’t leave on my account, Evans.” He didn’t even have to look back to sense her presence, grey eyes still fixated on the fire. “You can come sit here.”
Maybe it was her curiosity as to what was keeping him up, or just that she couldn’t take another minute of tossing in her bedsheets, but Lily obliged.
“I couldn’t sleep.” She sighed, pulling her knees up to her chest as she sunk onto the couch next to him. It had always fascinated her how soft they managed to get the sofas here.
“Me neither.” He tugged at a thread on the bottom of his shirt, staring into the fire. His hair was pulled up into a bun again, helping the firelight emphasize the sharpness of his features. Even if she didn’t know about his background, Lily thought she would be able to identify Sirius as the aristocrat he was just by his appearance. The oversized t-shirt and flannel pants he was wearing definitely softened the effect, though.
He suddenly turned to meet her eyes. “What’s bothering you?”
She instinctively felt the need to lie and dismiss his concern, but the memory of their run-in with his brother forced itself to the front of her mind. Maybe, however oddly, he would be able to understand her predicament like none of her friends could.
“It’s my sister.” She paused, not knowing how to explain it or why she was even telling him this. “It’s not anything new, we’ve had a bad relationship for years now. But sometimes, I just catch myself wanting to talk to her again- she’s not dead!” Lily clarified at the horrified look on Sirius’ face.
“Merlin, I was wondering what I’d missed.” He released a breath, leaning back on the sofa cushions.
“I just mean, she’s changed so much that I can’t ever have a talk with her like I used to, you know?”
“I do know.” He snorted. “You met my psychopath of a brother the other day.”
She grimaced at the memory, nodding.
“He-” Sirius paused. “We weren’t always like that. I mean, like you said, I still catch myself wanting to talk to him about things, but not even the him that’s here right now.”
“Sort of a version of them that doesn’t even exist anymore.” Lily finished for him, smiling weakly.
He smiled back. “You get it.”
“Is that what’s keeping you up? Your brother?”
“Basically.” He rolled his eyes. “My whole shitshow of a family, if we’re being honest.”
She let the silence sit for a moment before asking another question. “Can I ask you something? What did your brother mean by you ‘abandoning your family’?”
Lily had been curious about this since Regulus had said it days ago, but it hadn’t felt appropriate to ask until now. When Sirius averted his eyes, gazing back into the fire, she immediately felt guilty for bringing it up. “I’m sorry, that wasn’t any of my business.”
“Nah, I don’t really care if you know. I’m honestly more surprised you haven’t heard about it already.” He sighed, turning back to meet her eyes. “I was disowned in July.”
If she felt shameful before, Lily felt downright monstrous now. Slowly, several pieces of a puzzle began to fall into place, creating an image that sickened her. The way the Slytherins in their Potions whispered insults when Sirius passed, the way Rosier had spat at him in the hallway, and the way Potter had gotten so protective over him the other day. She helplessly stared, not knowing what she could possibly offer him in condolences. He seemed to get that, grinning at her shocked expression.
“Calm down, I’m bloody thrilled to be shot of them.”
“It’s still horrible.” She shook her head incredulously. For once, his ability to never take a situation seriously was admirable.
“Obviously it’s horrible.” Sirius rolled his eyes. “Doesn’t mean I’m not better off. One more summer in that house, and I think I would end up in the Prophet for double-homicide.”
“Wait,” Lily sat up. “Where did you live during the summer?”
“James’ place.” He said it like it was an obvious answer, and Lily supposed it was, considering the way the two were basically brothers.
“That’s sweet of Potter. I’m glad you have him.”
“Aw, Lily!” He beamed, winking. “He’s free for the next Hogsmeade trip, you know?”
She laughed, unable to help it. “Did you actually just ask me out for him?”
“Maybe, is that a yes?”
Lily shook her head, smiling still. “No way in hell.”