Return to Hogwarts
Lily gripped the handle of her trunk, standing in front of the entrance to platform 9 and 3/4, alone for the first year. It felt odd to be here without Severus, and a familiar ache pressed on her heart again. She had managed to pass the entire summer avoiding her parents' questions about why she never hung out with him anymore, especially since they were so occupied by Petunia and her new boyfriend. Her mum had definitely noticed something was wrong, but Lily didn’t even know how to begin explaining the events of her fifth year to her. So she kept to herself during the holidays, counting down the days until she could be back to Hogwarts.
The train station clamored around her, busy with people running from every direction. She took a deep breath, steeling herself before walking straight towards the brick wall.
This feeling truly never got old, she thought breathlessly. As she stepped onto the platform, the magic she had so dearly missed greeted her every sense. The same hustle and bustle from the muggle side remained, but with sparks flying across the tracks and owls fluttering through the air. She loved her family and Cokeworth dearly, but she never felt more herself than when she was amongst her own people.
Just as she began making her way towards the train, a familiar voice called her name from behind her.
“Lily, wait up!”
“Mary!” Lily exclaimed, whirling around. She was wearing a plain white top and jeans, curly hair bouncing along with her as she jogged to catch up.
“What’s got you smiling to yourself?” She asked, falling into step beside her.
“Oh, just glad to finally be back.” Lily answered, dragging her trunk onto the train behind her.
“Sister was that bad, huh?” Mary grimaced, climbing aboard behind her.
“Ugh, you don’t even know.” Lily sighed, making her way down the aisle. “She got this nasty boyfriend now, and they are just perfectly suited for each-“
A compartment door banged open suddenly, a girl with messy blonde hair grinning in the entrance.
“Thought we heard your dulcet tones, Lily!”
“Hello to you too Marls.” She tried to sound annoyed, but Lily smiled in spite of herself. Her and Mary stepped into the compartment, struggling to lift their trunks onto the overhead.
“Hey Lily, Hey Mary!” Dorcas smiled from her seat by the window. “Break good?”
Mary flopped into a seat opposite to Dorcas and Marlene, launching into a long rant about the number of times Benjy Fenwick wrote to her during the break. Lily finally managed to get her trunk up and took the seat beside her.
“-I understand I said ‘let’s be friends’, but I don’t think that warrants writing me pages of letters multiple times a week! Honestly, what’s the point in breaking up, then?”
“Well then why didn’t you just respond less than he wrote?” Dorcas pointed out, raising an eyebrow.
“I didn’t want him to feel bad, y’know?” Mary reasoned.
Marlene grinned from her spot leaning against Dorcas’s shoulder. “Oh, that’s absolutely the reason why.”
“Totally not because you miss him.” Lily added on sarcastically.
“I do not!” She scoffed. “And I resent the accusation.”
Lily glanced around the cabin, smiling- she had missed this more than she realized. It was so easy around her friends, when she could finally relax. It was exhausting having to tiptoe around her sister all summer, especially now that she had no real friends at home. Logically, she knew she was better off without him, but an irrational part of her missed her best friend- the old Severus.
The bitter turn her thoughts had taken must have reflected on her face, because Marlene was watching her with concern.
“Lily, you okay?” She frowned, turning from the conversation with the other two girls.
“Hmm?” Lily’s head snapped up. “Oh yeah, just zoned out.”
She forced a smile, trying to prove she was fine.
“Alright, good.”
Mary suddenly made a sound of remembrance, eyes lighting up. “Oh I almost forgot, what was it you were saying about your sister’s nasty new boyfriend earlier?”
“God, do not get me started.” Lily huffed, leaning forward. “It’s this absolute pig named Vernon Dursley, he’s-“
She was interrupted yet again by the compartment door sliding open. Remus Lupin stood at the entrance, sporting one of his trademark worn jumpers that were just a bit too large.
“Hi Remus!” Mary greeted in her usual bubbly manner.
“Hey Mary.” He smiled before turning to Lily. “Hi Lily, nice holiday?”
She shrugged in response. “Good as it could be. You?”
“Nice enough. I’ve just come here to tell you that Frank said all the prefects need to head to the carriage in twenty minutes.”
“Oh okay, thanks for letting me know.” She smiled.
Another slightly louder and more obnoxious voice spoke from behind him.
“Honestly Moony, I still don’t get how you’re a prefect.”
Sirius Black squeezed through the doorway by Remus. His hair had grown out longer than usual over the summer, and strands were hanging out of the loose bun he’d tied it up in. Most notably, he was dressed in muggle clothes like the rest of them, instead of the usual robes he showed up to the station with. Maybe his pureblood family had relaxed a bit over the summer, although Lily highly doubted it.
“Meadowes, Evans, Macdonald, how do you do?”
He didn’t wait for a response, turning to Marlene last, holding his arms open wide. “And my favorite ex-girlfriend!”
She rolled her eyes in response, but she still gave him a hug. “I don’t know why you have to bring that up so often.”
Lily too had mostly blocked out the memory of Sirius and Marlene’s very short lived relationship in third year. Honestly, the two were so similar they acted more like best friends than boyfriend and girlfriend for the three months they were together. And a more obvious point was that Marlene had long since realized her lack of attraction to men, making the whole ordeal that much funnier. Their breakup must not have meant that much to Sirius either, because he treated the whole thing with the same lightness.
“Because it’s hilarious, Marls.” He replied.
“Why are you here, exactly?” Mary questioned.
“Okay, that’s just rude Macdonald. I can't just want to see my dear friends after a long summer apart?”
Remus groaned, grabbing Sirius’ arm. “Can you get to the fucking point, Sirius?” He then turned to Marlene. “He’s been sent to inform you that James is having an optional quidditch practice tomorrow morning.”
“You’re kidding, it’s the first bloody day of term!” She exclaimed. “Tell him I’m not going.”
“He says optional, but he’ll resent you if you don’t show.” Sirius cautioned. “He’s gotten even more mental over the summer, trust me.”
“Great, so I can expect to be woken up at five am tomorrow?” Marlene complained, slumping in her seat.
“You’d better not leave me alone with him.”
“Where is Potter anyways?” Lily questioned.
“Yeah, and Pete?” Mary added on. It was rare to see any of the four friends without the others close by.
“Finding a compartment.” Remus responded. “Although I reckon they’ve gotten distracted by the trolley by now.”
“Wondering where James is, are we Evans?” Sirius smirked, leaning against the doorway.
“Yes actually, so I can avoid seeing his obnoxious face for as long as possible.” Lily snarked back. She usually meant that kind of thing as a joke, but after the events of last year she was actually eager to avoid seeing him for as long as possible. Partially out of anger, yes, but also because she was worried in the back of her mind that she’d made things forever awkward amongst their friend group by losing her mind on him the last time they had seen each other.
“Oh Lily, he’s got a lovely face!“ He gasped in mock hurt, clutching his heart.
“Sorry about him. Come on, you can profess your love to Prongs in our own compartment.” Remus tugged him by his hand exasperatedly as Sirius continued talking.
“Don’t be silly, Moonykins! I would never do that to you!”
“Do you ever shut the fuck-“
Their voices faded off as the door shut behind them.
“Those nicknames are so odd, are they not?” Dorcas shook her head at the closed door. “Like, Prongs ?”
“They’re all a little odd. Half of what they say is some inside joke I don’t understand.” Marlene dismissed with a wave of her hand.
“True that.” Lily scoffed.
~
Lily rolled over in her bed, pulling her blanket over her head and groaning because of the several loud thuds that sounded from somewhere to the left of her. When her blanket didn’t manage to fully block out the noise, Lily sat up in bed and threw the curtains back angrily.
“Dorcas, what in the bloody hell are you doing?” She hissed, blinking sleepily. The sun was barely peeking over the horizon, their dorm room illuminated in a pale light.
Dorcas looked up from the stack of papers she was rifling through, surrounded by clothes and various objects from her open trunk. She was still in her pajamas, braids gathered on top of her head.
“Sorry, Did I wake you?” She whispered, frowning. “I just can’t find that paper we had over the break for Transfiguration. Oh, McGonagall won’t believe I actually did it!”
Lily rolled her eyes as her friend continued panicking in whispers, grabbing her wand from her dresser.
“Accio.” A stack of parchment flew out from below a jumper on the floor, making its way straight to Lily’s hands. She held it out, staring expectantly at Dorcas.
“Oh. Right, Sorry.” She laughed sheepishly, grabbing the papers from her. “Forgot I was a witch, I suppose.”
Lily gave her a sympathetic smile, running her hands through her sleep-tangled hair. “It’s alright, Dorcas. It’s hard to get back into it after spending the whole summer with muggles.”
“God, isn’t it?”
While Dorcas was a half-blood, she spent the summers living with her muggle dad. In that way, she could understand Lily and Mary more as muggleborns.
She forced herself to get out of bed, grabbing her clothes and toothbrush before heading off to the bathroom. By the time she was done getting dressed, the sun was fully up, casting everything in the room with a warm glow. Mary had managed to stay asleep thus far, though. As Lily fruitlessly tried to shake her awake, Marlene burst into their dorm room gripping her broom and soaked in sweat.
“I hate James Potter.” She declared, marching over to her bed and throwing herself down on it dramatically.
“Now Lily has another member for her club.” Mary grinned, eyes still closed.
“Hey! I thought you were asleep!” Lily then turned to Marlene, wrinkling her nose. “And you need a shower.”
“I know, I know.” She grumbled, running a hand over her face. “Just give me a second.”
Dorcas must have found her state particularly gross as well, because she was staring at Marlene, uncharacteristically quiet.
Eventually (once Mary could be convinced that she did in fact have to get out of bed), they all managed to make it to the Great Hall for breakfast. They found seats by Remus and Peter, chatting about mundane happenings from break.
“Finally, there’s James!” Peter said.
You could always hear him before you saw him- Lily heard his booming voice before he sat down across from her, hair tousled in its usual irritating manner.
“At least someone’s glad to see me.” He directed this pointedly at Sirius, who had walked in with him.
Sirius huffed, sliding into the seat on the other side of Remus from Lily. “Maybe I’d be glad to see you too, if you didn’t insist on making me do twenty laps before the bloody sun comes up.”
Marlene made a loud noise of agreement through a mouthful of egg, glaring at James from across the table.
“Okay, but you guys are all going to thank me when we win the Quidditch Cup this year.” He threw his hands up in mock surrender, shrugging.
“We can win the Quidditch Cup without you making us all late for breakfast.”
“Padfoot, have you thought shortening your 20-step morning hair routine might make us less late?” James scoffed.
“Have you thought about even trying to fix that bird’s nest on your head?” Sirius snapped back.
“It runs in my family, and you know it you prick!”
Remus snorted at that. “Honestly, your dad invented Sleakeazy’s, James. If anything, that should run in your family.”
“He claims that gelling his hair back makes him look like,” Peter cleared his throat, putting on an exaggerated impression of James’ voice. “A stuck-up wanker.”
“Because it does, and I do not sound like that!” James insisted, waving the knife he was buttering his toast with in the air as he spoke.
“Nah mate, that was spot on.” Sirius grinned, reaching across the table to high-five Peter.
James rolled his eyes, then turning his attention towards the girls. His brown eyes found Lily’s, and he gave her a lopsided grin.
“Alright, Evans?”
“Yeah, I’m alright Potter.” She responded, smiling slightly stiffly. Even if she wasn’t as angry as she had been at the end of last year, she still wanted to make it clear that they were not friends. Acquaintances was all they had to be, even if their friend groups and house forced them into general proximity.
Maybe he sensed this, because instead of pushing her or goading her into a fight like he normally would, he just nodded and turned back to his friends’ conversation. Strangely, this annoyed Lily more despite it being exactly what she wanted.
She dismissed the feeling, turning her attention back to her own friends.
Dorcas was analyzing the time tables they had all grabbed on their way into breakfast, comparing who had classes with who.
“All of us have Transfiguration together, Charms as well.” She frowned down at one of the papers on the table in front of her. “Lily, NEWT level potions? That’s going to be awful alone!”
“I know, I know.” Lily sighed. “It’s going to be a Slytherin hell-hole.”
The unspoken implication hung in the air, that Severus would no doubt be in that class.
Mary smiled sympathetically at her. “Maybe there’ll be an alright Ravenclaw for you to partner up with or something.”
“I really do find potions very interesting, though. I just wish nicer people took the class.”
Remus suddenly turned to face Lily. “Wait, did you just say you’re doing NEWT Potions?”
“Don’t tell me you are too?” Lily smiled, straightening up. Remus’ worst subject had always been potions, so she didn’t fully understand why he would want to take it, but she wasn’t about to complain. She would have a buffer between her and Severus, as well as a friend.
He snorted in response. “Are you kidding? No, not me. Sirius.”
The aforementioned turned to look at the two of them at the mention of his name. “You called?”
“Good news, Lily’s doing Potions too. You won’t be all alone.”
As Sirius grinned broadly at her, it took everything in Lily to not scream right there in the middle of the Great Hall. There was almost definitely going to be no one else she knew in the class, meaning she would likely be forced to be partners with Sirius for the entirety of the year. While he wasn’t necessarily a bad person, his brash, immature personality made him just as unlikeable as Potter. That, combined with a bunch of Slytherins, Severus, and Slughorn was sure to make this the worst class ever.
“Lily!” He called, leaning around Remus so she could see him fully. “Isn’t this great?”
“Lovely.” She gave him a strained smile in response, which made Remus stifle a laugh.
Marlene grinned widely, glancing back and forth between her two polar-opposite friends. “This is going to be fucking hilarious.”
~
Lily only had one class left in the day, and it was Potions. She had parted ways with Mary following Charms, making her way down to the dungeons by herself. Many people found this part of the castle creepy, but Lily had always found the dark and mysterious parts of Hogwarts intriguing. The pale green lighting and intricate stone carvings down here always made her imagination run wild, wondering what kind of stories these walls would tell if they could talk. She reached the bottom of the stairwell, about to turn the corner when a voice interrupted her.
“Lily.” Her skin crawled as a familiar figure emerged from a corridor near her.
“Leave me alone.” She spat, pausing only for a second, forcing herself to keep walking as he hurried to catch up with her.
“Lily, if you could just listen to me!”
“I don’t owe you anything.” She stared straight ahead, her pace quickening as the potions classroom came into view.
“I know I messed up really badly. If you would give me a chance to apologize, to make it up to you-”
As they reached the entrance of the classroom, she whirled around to face Severus.
“You can’t make it up. You can’t take back what you called me.” her voice was angry, but the underlying hurt was evident in her words.
He stared back at her, eyes wide like a wounded animal. As he opened his mouth to respond, another person called Lily’s name.
“Lily! There you are.” Sirius was gesturing her over from inside the classroom, where he was clearly saving a seat for her.
Severus spluttered over whatever it was he was going to say next, sneering. “W-what, him? You’re friends with the likes of Black now?”
As much as Lily disliked Sirius, she disliked Severus more. And when she saw an opportunity, she wasn’t one to refuse it.
Smiling as wide as she possibly could, she waved back at Sirius. “Thanks for saving me a seat!”
Leaving him fuming in the doorway, Lily made her way to her seat smugly.
Sirius grinned at her as she sat down. “Did you do that just to piss him off? Because I think you and I will get along a lot-”
She cut him off, dropping her bag down on the table loudly. “Look, I still think you’re rude and immature, Black. My options in this class are just low.”
He seemed unphased by this, evidenced by how his annoying grin didn’t waver.
“Thought you might feel that way. I’ll grow on you, don’t worry.”
“Doubt it.” She muttered, glancing around the classroom, watching as Severus took a seat ahead of them by Mulciber. There was a Ravenclaw pair behind them, but apart from them the whole class was Slytherins.
Somehow, Sirius was still talking.
“Y’know, he didn’t say it, but James was so annoyed I had a class with you and not him. Look at that, we already have something in common!”
“What,” She scoffed, turning to him. “Pissing off Potter?”
“Precisely, my keen friend!”
Lily rolled her eyes, turning back to the front of the class as Slughorn began talking. This was going to be a long year.