Chapter 1
September 1st, 1996
I stood on the bustling platform with an unsteady stance, my eyes absentmindedly boring into the scarlet red exterior of the train in front of me. I took deep breaths, attempting to take in all the clashing voices and sounds. The whistle of the train. The carefree laughter of a nearby student. Footsteps, incomprehensible chattering, squeaky wheels of luggage carts passing by.
Increasing my grip on my suitcase until my knuckles nearly turned white, I forced herself to take a step forward. And another, and another, and another, until I was boarding the train. Looking to my right and then my left, I saw a group of students making their way down the narrow corridor in both directions. With a heavy sigh, I hauled myself and my luggage into the empty compartment straight ahead of me, throwing my bag carelessly on the seat. I wasted no time in sliding the door shut and plopping down onto the seat.
I stared past the glass and into the corridor of the train, ignoring the occasional dirty glance from students passing by. All I did was stare, not paying any mind to them. Suddenly, the train jolted violently and we began to travel from the station at an excruciatingly slow pace.
Just then, I felt something I hadn't felt in a while. Peace. Though, it wasn't entirely peaceful. There was a pit in my stomach that I couldn't shake, but that was nothing new. This feeling was likely the closest I would get to peace for the foreseeable future.
[add]
Draco and I had always been best friends. Even though he acted like a jerk most of the time, I never held it against him. Besides, I could be a jerk sometimes too. Unfortunately, ever since he officially became a Death Eater, we hadn't really spoken. We had gotten in a big fight that same night and hadn't seen each other since. Living in such a big house, it wasn't hard to avoid him. But once I decided I wanted to speak to him, he had already left for the remainder of the summer. Nobody told me why, or even told me that he was leaving, so I assumed it had something to do with his newly bestowed Death Eater status.
Not being able to talk to Draco was eating me alive. Our whole lives, even with both of our typical sour attitudes, we never fought. Not about anything serious, anyway. I didn't even want him to apologize, or talk about it, or anything. I just wanted to forget it happened and go back to normal. However, there were a lot of things I wanted that just weren't possible. I wanted to have an ordinary life with an ordinary house, ordinary parents, and no godforsaken Death Eaters around.
My thoughts spiraling, I took a deep breath and threw my head back so I was staring up at the ceiling of the compartment. I began to tap my foot on the ground restlessly, trying to think about something, anything else.
I leaned my head against the outside window and allowed myself to doze off.
All of a sudden, almost as if no time had passed, I blinked my eyes and it was dark outside, light rain pattering softly on the window. Several hours must have passed, it had been a while since I got a good rest. I brought my hands up to my face and rubbed my eyes, stopping myself when I remembered I was wearing mascara.
"Shit," I whispered to myself, shifting so I could view myself in the window, wiping the fog off the glass with my sleeve and rubbing any smudged makeup from under my eyes. After getting all the excess mascara, I looked at my reflection for a moment longer, scanning my features. My light blonde hair that matched my twin brother's; though I had dyed the ends a shade of light pink just days earlier, my freckles that you couldn’t see unless you were about an inch away from my face that my mother had as well, and my eyes. My gray-blue, piercing eyes resembled my father's. I despised my eyes. I couldn't stand having the same eyes that have looked at me with so much hatred my whole life. It felt like a sick joke.
The only things I liked about myself were the things that were unique, at least compared to the rest of my family. For example, I have a small bump on the bridge of my nose that no one else in my family has. I've always loved my nose the most. I'm also left-handed, while the rest of my family is all right-handed. Well, that I know of.
Lost in thought for who knows how long, I was snapped back to reality when the train jolted to a stop and I began to hear compartment doors being opened. Taking a deep breath, I grabbed the handle of my luggage and exited the compartment, wasting no time getting off the train.
Almost immediately, I spotted Draco from a distance, looking through something in his suitcase. I felt a pit in my stomach that only increased when he looked up and noticed me as well. I felt it would be weird to go talk to him or wave, but it would also be weird to not do anything. Right? Before I could make a decision, I was knocked slightly off balance by someone walking past me, hitting my shoulder with theirs. I dropped my luggage as I got my balance and looked up to see who it was. Lo and behold, it was two out of the three that I was most dreading interacting with this year. However, my pride got the better of me and I couldn't just let them leave. I wasn't even sure which one bumped into me, but that didn't matter.
"Do you mind?" I fumed, just loud enough for them to hear. They turned around and I was graced by the presence of Ron Weasley and Hermione Granger. It wasn't exactly surprising that I never got along with them, though it was different with me than with Draco. Everyone thought I was a freak, not just them.
"Sorry?" Ron replied in a way that felt almost insulting.
I couldn't explain it, but that 'sorry' sparked something in me. Leaving my suitcase on the ground, I stormed up to them.
"I said, 'do you mind?'" I repeated, raising my voice a bit more this time. This wasn't typical for me. Sure, I was a bit rude, but I rarely raised my voice.
Ron turned to Hermione and laughed softly, Hermione suppressing a giggle and looking down to hide her face. Before he could even reply, I spoke up again.
"You think it's funny, do you?" Almost like I couldn't control myself, I immediately reached for my wand from my back pocket. However, before I could take it out, I felt something stop me, grabbing my arm.. Surprised, I turned to see Draco standing beside me.
Ron and Hermione had begun to back away from us. Ron turned to Hermione once again and whispered, "she's mental." I attempted to approach them once more, but Draco wouldn't let go of my arm. The two of them glared at us and took off.
Yanking my arm out of Draco's grasp, I gently rubbed the spot where his hand was. "I didn't need your help, dickhead." He huffed, shoving his hands into his pocket; a thing he did often in awkward situations.
“Really? ‘Cause it seemed like you were close to hexing Weasley and Granger.” I crossed my arms over my chest in response, taking a second before replying. However, he seemed to take my silence as a sign to say something else. “I like your hair.”
“So what if I was?” I said sharply, ignoring the comment on my hair. “Where have you even been for the past month?” Though I already knew the answer; he was off doing Death Eater bullshit. I still hurt for him, of course I did, but he was the one that decided to scream at me and tell me to grow up before disappearing for a month. ‘Grow up,’ as if I’m not 12 minutes older than him.