unsent letters:
James,
I think that was it now. My true great love, was always only you. I will never be able to love someone like you. Even if your heart now belongs to someone else, you will forever be the only person for me. My heart belongs only to you. I am aware that this is now very selfish of me but I wish yours would also still belong to me.
love always,
regulus.
Hello love,
Sirius told me you’re getting married soon. I wish it was me that you’re marrying. I could have expected you to the red head though. Fucking disgusting if you ask me. I hope lily can give you what i couldn’t, i’m sorry that i wasn’t enough for you to stay. I love you James, im sorry.
with love,
regulus.
James.
I heard you have a kid now. I’m so proud of you for getting this far. It’s not fair that you get to just move on while i’m still in love with you. I know you’ve always wanted children, so i’m glad you can have them with someone who’s made to be a parent.
Love,
regulus.
Hello,
i’m so sorry, i wish i could be happy for you. But every time i just know that i wasn’t enough for you my heart starts crumpling, i feel like i can’t breathe anymore, can’t think anymore. You are were the air in my lungs, the thoughts in my brain. The only thing you are now, that’s actually mine to have, are the poems in my book. I wish i could tell you how i didn’t mean a single word i said that day, but i can’t because you’ve already moved on. I wish i could feel you one last time, your lips on my skin and your hands in my hair.
regulus.
*******
Regulus is putting the letters back in a box, under his bed, when theres a knock on the door. He rises back to his feet and walks over to the door, when he opens it he can see Sirius standing on the other side.
“i’m coming in” Sirius says as he is already pushing inside.
“Have you ever heard of boundaries?” Regulus mutters as he slams the door shut.
“Boundaries? whats that?” Sirius says giggling, finding himself way too funny for an awfully bad joke.
Regulus sighs and speaks up again, “So, why did you decide to ruin my day off?”
“Oh right! i need to tell you something. You won’t believe what happened.”
Regulus face twists into confusion, “What is it?”
“James and Lily are getting divorced-”
After that everything else blends away.
Divorced Divorced Divorced Divorced Divorced Divorced Divorced Divorced Divorced Divorced Divorced Divorced Divorced Divorced Divorced Divorced Divorced Divorced Divorced Divorced.
Suddenly Regulus can’t breathe anymore, his legs are getting weaker. He can feel his back hitting the wall, sliding it down until he sit there with his back against it.
He can hear someone calling his name and suddenly there’s an arm around him, he registers Sirius pulling him up so that Regulus is now sitting with his back against Sirius’ chest.
Finally he snaps out of his trance, air fills his lungs again.
“I’m sorry-“ Is all Regulus can croak out.
“It’s okay don’t worry, you’re fine, we’re fine.”
“I-“ Regulus begins sobbing. Great like this isn’t embarrassing enough.
“It’s okay, take your time” Sirius whispers comfortingly.
“I need to tell you something, I- I can’t keep it a secret anymore.” Regulus whispers through sobs.
“Hm, what is it?” Sirius asks, a hint of curiosity in his voice.
“I love him” Regulus croaks out.
“Who? wait James?” Sirius asks, now seemingly very confused.
“Yeah, James. He was my first love, and will forever be my only one. I- we dated for 4 years in secret, we- we really wanted to tell you but when we did, i guess it was too late.”
“Oh, okay” Sirius whispers.
“Wha- are you not mad?”
“Oh love, Reggie no i couldn’t be mad at you. At james yes, at you, Never.” Sirius reassures him comfortingly.
“I’m sorry, Sirius, i don’t know what to do.”
“With James?”
“Yeah” Regulus says the sobbing slowly stops.
“I think you should talk to him you know. They said the reason they broke up was because they never actually loved each other. Lily is already together with Mary.”
“Do you think it’s a good idea to call him?”
“Yeah, if it feels right to you” Sirius answers.
Instantly Regulus pulls his phone out, and clicks on the contact [James💕].
It starts ringing. One. Two. Three-
“Hello?” There it was, that voice that feels like home.
“James” Regulus said breathlessly.
“Reg,” He coughs out, “Hi, Hello, Hey, Hi, Hi, how are you? why’d you call?”
Sirius has to hold back his laughter, he has never heard his best mate this stressed.
“I- can you come over? i need to talk to you”
“Of course do you still live in the same apartment?”
“Yeah”
“Okay, i’ll be there, love…-ly yeah lovely! uhm bye!” James rants before quickly hanging up.
“Well that was fucking embarrassing, jesus” Sirius cackles. “Anyways i’m gonna go now so you two can talk in private hm?”
“Yeah thanks Siri” Regulus says finally standing up and hugging him one last time before walking him to the door.
*****
About 10 minutes later theres a knock on the door again, Regulus quickly rushed over and pulls the door open.
“hi” james says a bit shyly.
Regulus takes James appearance in, there he is, as beautiful as always his hair is messy like always, his eyes are warm like always, his skin looks soft like always there are those gold rimmed glasses like always. He’s wearing a red sweater that looks so soft, Regulus wishes he could burry his face in his chest and take in James’ scent.
He’s wearing those ridiculous red converse, that match his ridiculous personality. Fuck he loves him.
“I love you” it comes out without thinking about it “i’m sorry” Regulus quickly adds.
“No don’t you dare apologise for that” James says with a genuine tone.
Regulus doesn’t dare to look up, doesn’t dare to meet James’ eyes. suddenly there’s a hand on his cheek tipping his head up. He finally meets James’ eyes, all the fear off rejection leaves Regulus as soon as he sees James’ expression his eyes are filled with love.
“I love you too” And suddenly there are lips connected to his
At first the kiss is sweet and soft but over time it’s growing hard and full of desire, its not long until Regulus legs wrap around James’ waist. before he walks the both over to regulus’ bedroom.
*****
Now they are laying there both very much naked, skin against skin.
Regulus is laying with his legs around James’ and his head on James’ chest.
“I love you” Regulus mumbles into his chest.
“I love you too” James says, pressing a kiss to Regulus’ curls.
*****
They are now walking back to James’ place, James moved back in with Sirius and Remus after his and Lily’s break up.
They knock on the door, and after a few seconds the door opens revealing Sirius.
“James.” Sirius says sternly.
“Hey, pads” James says his tone is nervous.
“You disgusting pervert, my baby brother? really?”
“Stop being dramatic Sirius, fucking hell” Regulus says pulling james into the apartment with him pushing past Sirius.
They sit down on the couch and as soon as James sits next to him Regulus climbs into his lap. Regulus kisses James, who doesn’t waste a second to kiss him back.
He can hear Sirius gag and Remus laugh at Sirius for being so ridiculous.