The apartment was quiet, too quiet for a Friday night, save for the muffled sound of rain against the windows and the occasional creak of floorboards as James shifted on the soft, plush material of the couch. He was attempting to read his book, his eyes darting around the pages, but his focus kept drifting to his man, who still wasn’t home.
Regulus had been tense when he left early that morning, his shoulders next to his ears and his voice quieter than it usually was. He hadn’t said much, but what he did say was clipped, losing that normal spark it had. That little challenge that glinted in his eyes, had disappeared. He had left to “get things done”, and James’ hadn’t pushed, but James knew. Every now and again, Regulus got like this. He would zone out, go all quiet, hide into himself, and James knew that if he pushed, it would only get worse.
But it had been a few days of this, and James knew that if he didn’t give a push, Regulus would just hide further into himself, and not come out for a while.
He knew Regulus. Knew the way his mind worked, the way he carried the world on his shoulders, knew how he needed someone to take some of that weight off.
When the door finally opened, James snapped his head up, his eyes softening as the love of his life came through the door.
Regulus looked… well, he looked drained. He was always pale, even in summer, but now he looked almost grey, his dark curls clinging to his skin from the rain outside. He moved like a ghost, his steps slow and unfocused, his gaze stuck somewhere far away.
“Reg?” James called softly, sitting up and dropping his book onto the coffee table.
Regulus didn’t respond, not even a glance to show that he heard. He closed the door behind him softly, toeing off his shoes, his movements mechanical and detached, like a puppet with cut strings. He didn’t even bother hanging up his drenched coat, dropping it near the door as his thin frame crossed the room, sinking into the armchair by the lit fire place.
James leaned forward, resting his elbows on his knees as he tried to catch Regulus’ eye. “Hey, love,” he said gently. “You okay?”
Regulus’ hands twitched in his lap, his fingers flexing and curling in his lap. “I’m fine,” he said, but his voice was quiet, too hollow.
James frowned, tilting his head. He knew that tone like the palm of his hand, and hated that he did. Regulus was pulling away from the world and everything in it.
“You sure?” James said, trying to keep his voice soft, to not startle him.
Regulus didn’t answer. He just stared into the fire, his mind far away from the room, his shoulders curling higher up to his ears, as though he was trying to make himself smaller.
James let out a slow breath, pushing himself to his feet, careful not to do anything too fast. He crossed the space in a few easy strides. He crouched down in front of Regulus, careful to keep his hands away from him. It was a tough to know when Regulus wanted to be touched or not, and James had learnt the hard way that it was better to go with not.
“Regulus,” James whispered, his voice as gentle as he could make it. “Can I help you?”
Regulus’ eyes flickered to him for the briefest of moments before darting away again, not looking at anything. His jaw tightened, and his fingers twitched against his knees.
James stayed there, waiting, keeping his presence calm and grounding, like a Limehouse in the storm. “Love,” he tried again. “Can I touch you? Would that help?”
Regulus didn’t answer, but James hadn’t expected him to. He stayed frozen, his body taut as a bowstring, but his fingers stilled, and his head moved in the faintest of nods, and that was enough for James to understand.
Slowly, carefully, he reached out and rested his hands on Regulus’ knees, his black sweatpants cold against his warm hands. “Okay,” he murmured. “I’m going to pick you up, is that okay?”
Regulus still didn’t speak, but he moved his hands to the arms of the chair, as though he was bracing himself.
James smiled softly, and with a deliberate movement, James grabbed under Regulus’ armpits, lifting him up and cradling him close to his chest, wrapping his arms around him. Regulus weighed almost nothing, so it took no effort from James to keep him close to him, and James would keep him close to him from the rest of his days if he could.
Regulus was short enough and James was tall enough so that Regulus was completely off the floor, his toes not even close to brushing the ground. Sometimes, being 6”5’ and Regulus being 5”2’ helped with things like this.
James moved with all the care he could muster, careful to not keep his arms too tight. Regulus was stiff at first, his frame tense against James’ broad chest, but he didn’t push away. His hands hesitated before lifting them up to wrap his arms around James’ neck loosely.
“I’ve got you,” James whispered in his ear, adjusting his grip so that one arm wrapped around Regulus back and waist, the other pulling Regulus’ thighs up so that they were wrapped around his own waist. “I’ve got you.”
Regulus let out a shaky breath,his head tipping forward to rest in the crook between James’ neck and shoulder. Slowly, he shifted his legs to wrap them securely around James, prompting James to move the hand on his back up to scratch lightly at the top of his neck and in his curls, the other moving to support both sighs, snaking under is plush arse. James’ biceps were as big as both of Regulus’ thighs pushed together and then some, so it was easy for to support Regulus on it.
“That’s it,” James murmured, his voice soft as he began to walk slowly. They had done this before, whether it was Regulus or James who needed it, but whenever the did it, it felt so intimate, so personal, so them.
The slow, steady motion of his steps filled the room with a quiet rhythm, a gentle counterpoint to the rain outside.
Regulus didn’t make a sound, but James could feel the tension in his body start to ease, little by little. His breathing, which had been barely there, began to sync with James’, each exhale coming steadier than the last.
“You’re okay,” James said softly, his lips brushing against Regulus’ temple in a gentle kiss. “I’ve always got you, love. You’re not alone.”
Regulus let out a faint hum, the first sound he had made all night, his head burrowing deeper into the crook of James’ neck. His legs tightened around James’ waist, and his arms wrapped tighter, pulling James closer.
James continued to walk slowly, a calming thing that jostled them slightly. He brought his head down slightly to bury it in Regulus’ neck, inhaling the familiar scent of lavender and books, calming his own nerves. He didn’t speak, letting the quiet settle around them like blanket.
After a few minutes, or maybe it was an eternity, James lowered them onto the couch closest to the crackling fire, keeping Regulus pressed against his chest on his lap, his arms still moving to wrap securely around the smaller man’s frame.
“You doing better?” James asked softly in his ear, his hand tracing lightly up and down the ridges of his spine.
Regulus didn’t answer, and James couldn’t read his face since it was still buried deep into the crook of his neck. Instead, he shifted as close as possible, melting further into his chest. His arms moved so that one stayed wrapped around his neck, the other moving to feel James’ heart beat, resting on his firm chest.
James smiled, bringing a hand up to card gently through Regulus’ hair. “You don’t have to talk,” he said quietly. “Just stay here as long as you need.”
Regulus let out a soft hum that vibrated through him, and James shifted so that he was sitting properly in the chair, rather than half slouched. The change in position caused Regulus to slide down, his head resting on his chest, right next to where his hand was feeling his heartbeat.
For the first time that evening, Regulus felt completely at ease, the only sound in the room the soft patter of rain outside, the crackle of fire and their gentle breathing.
They stayed like that for a million lifetimes, time passing, yet neither seemed to mind. But then Regulus pulled back, just enough to lift his head and look up and catch James’ eyes. His dark hair was almost completely dry now, falling in loose waves around his face, his once pale cheeks now tinged with the faintest hint of ping. His face was blank at first - guarded, as it so often was - but there was a flicker of something softer in those grey eyes, that little look that James rarely saw.
“Jamie,” he began, his voice quiet, but so much more present. So much more like him.
James hummed softly, his eyes warm as they searched his face. “Yeah, love?”
Regulus’ eyes darted away for a moment, but they didn’t go far away. He pressed his lips into a thin line, and he looked like he was searching for the right words, and James waited, his hands still tracing gentle patterns on Regulus’ back.
“I don’t…” Regulus started, then stopped, his brow furrowing slightly. “You know I’m not very good at this.”
James’ lips curved into a small, reassuring smile. He slid one hand up Regulus’ shirt, warm against his cold. “I know, but you’re trying, and that’s what counts. Take your time.”
Regulus huffed quietly, his cheeks flushing. “I just…” He paused again, bringing both hands down to grip James’ shirt. “I don’t know what I’d do without you.”
The words were soft, barely above a whisper, but they carried a weight that made James’ chest tighten.
“I-I mean it,” Regulus added, almost defensively, as though afraid James wouldn’t take him seriously, but deep down, James knew that Regulus already knew. “You’re always here. Even when I don’t deserve it, and I don’t tell you that enough.”
“Reg,” James said softly, his hands stilling on Regulus’ back.
Regulus shook his head, his gaze dropping to James’ chest. “No, listen. I- You make everything feel… better. Less heavy. Less loud. I don’t - He broke off, his jaw tightening like he was frustrated with himself. “I don’t know how you do it, but I… I need it. I need you.”
James felt his heart swell, and his smile softened into something impossibly tender. He lifted one hand to cup his cheeks, thumb brushing lightly along his sharp cheekbone. These are the moments that James cherishes over everything, and though they were rare, that’s what made them so fucking special. “You deserve it,” he said firmly, ducking his head to look right into his eyes. “You deserve to feel all the love in the world, Regulus. You deserve to have someone who’s here for you, no matter what.”
Regulus’ breath hitched slightly, and his eyes widened a little, grey eyes wide and vulnerable in a way that made James want to pull him even closer.
“You don’t have to thank me for loving you,” James continued, his voice steady and warm. “It’s not something I have to work at, you know? It comes as easy as breathing. It’s just… it’s you, Reg. It’s the easiest thing I’ve ever done.”
Regulus let out a soft huff of laughter, his cheeks flushing just a little darker. “You’re ridiculous,” he muttered, though there was no heat in his tone.
“Maybe,” James said with a grin, his hand dropping back to Regulus’ waist. “But you love me anyway.”
Regulus’ lips parted slightly, his blush spreading all the way to the very tips of his ears, his helix piercing bright against the pink. “I do.”
James’ grin widened, a warm, boyish thing that made Regulus’ heart skip a beat. “I love you too,” he said easily, his eyes crinkling at the corners.
Regulus let out a breath, his lips twitching despite himself. “You’re a lot sometimes, you know that?”
“Yeah,” James said with a chuckle. “But you love that too.”
Regulus rolled his eyes, but his soft smile tugging at his lips betrayed him. He leaned forward slightly, resting his forehead against James’. “I really do,” he murmured, his voice softly soft it was almost lost in the quiet of the room.
James’ hands tightened gently on Regulus’ waist, holding him tight. “Good,” he said simply, his voice thick with affection. “Because you’re stuck with me.”
Regulus let out a quiet laugh, his breath ghosting against James’ lips. For a moment, they stayed like that, their foreheads pressed together, their breaths mingling in the small space between them.
Then, Regulus titled his head and closed the gap between them, his lips brushing against James’ in a kiss that was soft and unhurried. No tongue, no mess, just lips against lips - quiet, and tender, an unspoken promise held in the gentle press of their mouths.
When they pulled apart, his cheeks were still flushed, but there was a softness in his gaze that made James’ chest ache in the best possible way.
Thank you,” Regulus said quietly, his hands rubbing up and down the sides of James’ necks.
James shook his head, that smile never quite leaving his lips. “You don’t have to thank me, Regulus. I’m exactly where I want to be.”
Regulus’ nose twitched, as it always did when he was happy. He put a hand on James’ chest, pushing him down so that they were lying down, Regulus tucked securely against his chest, James’ arms wrapped tight and big around him.
“Talk to me?” Regulus murmured after a moment, his voice almost swallowed by James’ shirt.
“Of course,” James said, no hesitation. “What do you want me to talk about?”
“Anything. Everything.” Regulus said. “I just… I like listening to you.”
“Alright,” James said, sighing softly as he moved a hand to stroke Regulus’ hair, earning him a soft sound that sounded dangerously like a purr. “Let’s see… Did I ever tell you about the time I walked in on Sirius and Remus -“
Regulus cut him off with a groan, lightly smacking him on the chest, causing James to break off in a laugh.
They spent the rest of the night like this, laughing as memories filled the room, curled up against each other, and neither would have it any other way.