Party Rock Anthem
[James Potter]: Party starts at eight!
[James Potter]: No you can not cancel this late I’ll cry
[Regulus]: I’m sick
[James Potter]: Liar
[James Potter]: Marlene saw you at the shift this morning
[James Potter]: I’ll see you in three hours Exactly <3
Regulus never responded to the text, but he finds himself looking at it on the ride over. He’s hiding his phone from Sirius’ sight. He’s in the back seat, so it’s not like he could really see what he’s looking at anyway, especially not while driving, but still. It would be better if he wasn’t looking at it at all, but he can’t look away from the heart. It’s stupid, as to why he didn’t reply to it in the first place. What’s even more stupid is it’s not the first time Regulus has been stuck on their text log.
It was James that started texting him, back when he was home. He sent Regulus of the lights he saw, and the cookies he was devouring over the entire week. Then it was Regulus who James complained to when he was in pain after eating all of them. Regulus doesn’t know what happened, or what he did to make it so James started texting him, but… okay he likes texting him. He gets so pathetic when his phone lights up now he practically launches himself towards it from wherever he is just to look at whatever stupid thing James sent him that time. Then he finds out it was a selfie or something and almost drools all over himself.
Pathetic.
He really doesn’t want to go tonight. He can barely control himself sober, but adding drinking into the mix? Plus he hasn’t seen James in like a week since their Christmas shift when he confessed he moved their shifts so they could spend more of them together. What is Regulus supposed to do with that? How is he meant to react to that? Put him in a room with James Potter and either Regulus will end up killing him or doing… other really bad things to him that he can’t get into with his brother right next to him even if it’s just in his head. Basically, long story short Regulus is fucked.
“Is this it?” Sirius asks, forcing Regulus to quickly shut his phone off and stuff it in his pocket.
He nods, “Yeah, this is it.”
He’s never actually been here, there was no reason for him to, but he knows what the outside looks like. James sent him a picture of his Christmas lights, he was very proud of them and debating keeping them up all year long. Regulus told him he was being ridiculous but he couldn’t be swayed, and he hates admitting now that they do look good.
Sirius parks behind a long line of cars in the driveway. Once they’re out of the car he says, “So why did we really need to come tonight?”
Regulus looks back to find Sirius reaching out for Remus’ hand, “Can’t I invite you to a party?”
Sirius scoffs, “You never invite me to things,” he says, dragging Remus to the door. “And you’ve never even gone to a work thing before.”
Regulus avoids his eye, walking in front of him to reach the door, “I didn’t have a choice.” Never mind that it was him who marched up to James on Christmas and told him he would come. That part is irrelevant and doesn’t matter.
He knocks on the door before Sirius can ask anything else, but all the response he gets is the sound of 2000s music bleeding out from the bottom of the door. Yeah, this is definitely James’ place. He tries the handle finding it open and pushes it open. There are not a lot of people, but there’s a lot more than he expected stuffed into what’s not really a big space. Though considering James was completely okay with Regulus inviting two extra people, maybe it’s not that surprising that this many people showed up.
“So,” Sirius says, shutting the door behind him, “Are you gonna introduce me to everyone?”
Regulus scoffs, “No.”
He has no want or need to introduce Sirius to anyone. This isn’t what this is about, Regulus doesn’t even plan on ever seeing any of these outside of work again after this. Maybe besides James, but he’s trying to avoid him as much as he can tonight anyway. That’s what Sirius is here for.
“Oh come on,” Sirius jumps forward slinging his arm around his shoulders, “You invite me out with your friends and you won’t even introduce me?”
Regulus shakes his head, slugging him off, “They’re not my friends.”
“Then why are we here?” Remus comments.
Regulus looks behind him, before rolling his eyes, “I’m getting a drink,” he goes forward only to stop when he realizes neither of them are following him. “Aren’t you coming?”
Sirius blinks, “Do you need a chaperone?”
Regulus pauses, he knows for a fact if James isn’t in the kitchen he’ll be close by. He’s basically walking into the lion's nest with nothing protecting him. “I can’t carry three drinks,” Regulus stumbles upon as an excuse.
Sirius brushes it off, “We’ll get something later,” he says.
Regulus just looks back over at him, knowing if he pushes it’ll just be a bigger conversation than it’s worth. If he’s thinking about his chances of running into James… Well, James is probably talking to someone else. So even if he’s in the kitchen when Regulus sneaks in there there’s a chance he won’t go up and say anything to him, just thinking they’ll talk later. Regulus can just run back to Sirius anyway and then he’ll have a buffer. Plus, he’ll probably be able to find someone in the kitchen to cling to if James comes over to him. He knows he agreed to go here, and he knows he’s been the person texting James nearly every second of every day since the last time they saw each other. He just can’t trust himself when he’s around him.
“Fine,” he says, turning back around. He makes his movements quick, finding the kitchen and pushing past a group of people to make it to the drinks. Everything is set up on the island, every single drink you could possibly imagine all lined up next to each other. Regulus doesn’t really think before he’s grabbing things, his head on a swivel looking around at the people around him. Surprisingly James isn’t in the room, the only people from work here are Marlene and Dorcas hunched over together in the corner. Regulus grabs his drink, turning away from them before they can notice him.
He plans to just go right back to Sirius, but once he goes into the living room he hesitates, freezing in the middle of the doorway. In the far corner stands Pandora and Emmeline, or probably better put Emmeline is standing while Pandora is halfway wrapped around her while being pushed into the wall.
Well.
He guesses that confirms it.
An arm appears across his shoulders, and Lily is suddenly beside him, “They’ve been going at it for like an hour,” she says, taking a sip out of her cup. “I swear they were already drunk when they showed up.”
From the looks of it, Lily’s on her way to getting drunk too. Regulus really isn’t that late, maybe thirty minutes. He can’t really be surprised though. “I thought they said they weren’t together.”
Lily scoffs, “Right like anyone believed that,” she says, “I can tell when people like each other. They were not at all subtle.”
Regulus pauses, refusing to meet her eye as he takes a drink. They haven’t talked about it since Christmas and Kingsley came in. It’s not like Regulus was really excited to talk about it, and he’s been avoiding Lily since the whole thing happened. He hasn’t wanted to deal with it. He’s talked to Kingsley since Christmas and even went over there earlier today to help him back up his apartment for his move. There’s nothing to talk about there now. It just makes it worse thinking about it, and he knows for a fact Lily is thinking about it right.
He sighs, “Liste,n Lily…”
“No,” Lily cuts him off, dropping her arm just to move around to face him completely. “I know I’ve been an asshole. I know I’ve been pushing all that shit with Kingsley and making you uncomfortable.”
The music is loud around them, it makes his ears ring but Lily’s eyes are wide and open all he can see is her. “I’m not dating Kingsley,” Regulus says simply. “I’m never going to date Kingsley.”
Lily tilts her head, for a moment considering it before she shakes her head quickly, “Then I’ll drop it.”
She sounds like she’s being honest, but he’s honestly not sure if he can believe her. He knows he’s not the only person she’s done this with, he’s actually heard her talking to Pandora and Emmeline more times than he can count. To be fair it gets really boring on some of the lunch shifts Lily is put on, sometimes she has no other choice than to mess with other people’s business.
Regulus could explain everything that happened, and honestly, he’ll probably have to the next time they have a shift together, but right now he’s okay without saying anything. He just nods.
Of course, with the next thing Lily says he almost wishes he gave her a sob story so she’d leave him alone about it, “So Kingsley is out,” she says, “James on the other hand…”
“Oh god, no,” Regulus pushes passed her.
“Hey,” She jumps, grabbing onto his arm, “Come on!”
“I have to go find my brother,” Regulus tells her.
“ James, ” Lily repeats once she’s blocking his path again. “Come on, he’s so into you.”
Regulus gives her a pointed look, “No, he’s not.”
Lily tilts her head, “Are you fucking kidding me?” She laughs, “We’re not going through this again.” She gestures widely over to Pandora and Emmeline, “I was the one who knew those two were together. That was me!”
“Everyone knew something was going on between them,” Regulus deadpans, “It’s Pandora and Emmeline that’s not exactly impressive.”
Not to say that Lily wasn’t right about Kingsley. She saw something Regulus didn’t see there, so maybe there’s some truth in what she’s saying, but no way in hell is Regulus giving her that satisfaction. If anything it’s Lily’s fault for speaking that into existence, so he should actually be angry with her. He could hold that grudge forever.
Lily still doesn’t get out from in front of him though, instead, she scoffs, “I’ll prove it to you,” she says, “You’ll be with James by the end of the month.”
Regulus ignores how his chest warms up at the idea of it. He hates himself. “Considering how the Alice and Frank bet is going you have a very low chance at winning that.”
Lily pulls a face, “Oh no, Alice and Frank are going to kiss at midnight tonight.”
“Right,” Regulus scoffs. He could believe her, if Alice and Frank hadn’t been weirdly distant from each other over this week. Not that he thinks they broke up or anything, but clearly they’re not ready for everyone to know about their relationship. So it helps that everyone knows about their relationship.
“Honestly,” Lily says, going quiet for a moment of consideration. “You and James will too.”
Regulus stares at her, before shaking his head, “I’m gonna go find my brother now,” he ignores her, pushing past until he can break into the next room over.
Little did he know the most ridiculous twenty minutes would occur afterward as he blindly walks through the entire house three times trying to find Sirius and Remus only to find them nowhere. He spent the entire time avoiding the kitchen thinking that’s where most people would be (James). Even if they were getting a drink though they wouldn’t stay in the kitchen. Remus would need to find a place to sit down eventually, or so Regulus thought. Hell ,maybe they decided to fuck off and ditch him, not that Regulus would be surprised his brother is a dick.
He ends up in the kitchen, mainly because his drink is empty but also because he’s about to pull his hair out, and if Sirius isn’t in this kitchen he’s going to find a gun and shoot him in the head.
He doesn’t find Sirius in the kitchen.
He finds James.
Before he has the chance to turn right back around James has already seen him. He completely ditches the conversation he’s having with Benjy and throws his hands up, “Regulus!” he exclaims, “You’re actually here!”
“I told you I would be,” Regulus tells him. If it were anyone else Regulus would say they were drunk, but he knows better that this is just how James is on a normal basis.
“I know,” James walks over to him, “But it’s been forever and I still hadn't seen you.”
Regulus looks up at him, and this is the closest he thinks they’ve ever been. James’ eyes are so big, even in this shitty lighting he looks pretty. Regulus wants to hit his head against the wall, and suddenly there’s no one else in the room besides the two of them.
“Did you want another drink?” James asks.
Regulus blinks himself out of the haze he’s placed himself in, he hums, “Yeah,” he walks passed James over to the counter.
“I’ve got it,” James plucks it from his hands, “Anything in particular?”
Regulus looks over at him, and finds himself shrugging, “Surprise me.”
James starts pouring in drinks, and maybe Regulus should watch what he’s doing but he doesn’t, his eyes are stuck on James’ face instead. The entire room is coated in a haze that only includes the two of them, and Regulus can feel himself falling back on it. Stupid. Only a week of texting this guy every day and suddenly he wants to stay in this bubble with him forever. The worst part is he knows James planned for all of this. The little fucking mastermind, he made it so they worked all the same shifts and could actually have a chance to talk to each other. Maybe Regulus should be angry about it. It should fill him with a rage that makes it so he leaves here and never looks back. He can quit his job so he never has to so much as look at James’ face again, but he loves his job, and hell he even loves working with James. He looks at the schedule before each shift and gets excited when he sees he’s on too.
Suddenly a full cup is in front of him, “See how it is?” James says, before hopping onto the island, careful not to spill any of the open bottles.
Wordlessly Regulus joins him, sitting right beside him, their thighs brushing. Regulus takes the drink, letting the burn travel down to the bottom of his stomach. It feels strong but doesn’t taste like it, he looks over at James even with the awkward angle of it all. “Are you trying to get me drunk?” he asks, before taking another sip.
“Hey, I made myself the same thing,” James argues, picking up his cup, before clicking it against his. Not that it makes any noise, it is plastic. “So at least we’ll be in it together.”
Regulus rolls his eyes, looking back away outwardly to the party in front of them. He’s never really been to a New Year's Eve party before, even during college he never ended up going to one. He was never with anyone besides Kingsley and he never complained about staying in. Looking back now Regulus can’t be sure if Kingsley really wanted to stay in or if he was just doing it because that’s what Regulus wanted. He’s not even sure what Kingsley’s doing tonight, he asked but got a half answer. If none of it happened he would’ve invited him tonight, but it’s for the better that he didn’t come. He looks back over to James, just to find him already looking over at him.
“What?” Regulus whispers.
James shrugs softly, “It’s just been a while.”
Regulus rolls his eyes, trying to let his words slip down his back, “You text me all the time.”
“It’s not the same,” James argues quickly. “We go from working pretty much every day together to nothing.”
“For a week, ” Regulus tells him.
“What? So you’re saying you didn’t miss me at all?” James questions with a pout.
Regulus just keeps looking at him, he can’t look away, “Well, there’s no obnoxious music at work anymore.”
James' smile only grows, he knocks Regulus’ knee with his own, leaning in, “Admit it, you like it.”
Regulus leans in even closer, “Never,” he whispers.
For a moment Regulus swears he sees James’ gaze flickers down, but it might just be the light catching from the light above them. Regulus really isn’t drunk enough for this, there’s nothing to justify the fact that he doesn’t move away from James once the moment expires. He stays in the exact same position, leaning awkwardly over the counter putting a strain on his neck. James’ eyes are directly on him, where else is he meant to look?
“Regulus?” James whispers.
Regulus swallows thickly, “Yeah, James?”
It’s almost like slow motion as James moves his hand closer to him, before tucking a piece of his hair behind his ear. He doesn’t pull back right after, he keeps his palm against Regulus’ cheek, slowly tracing against his cheek. Regulus finds himself leaning into it.
“What are you doing?” he finds himself asking.
James' eyes flicker between his, “I don’t know,” he murmurs, before leaning in again. They’re so close, almost touching, Regulus can feel James’ breath against his lips.
Regulus ends up being the one with the final push, or maybe it’s James, he can’t be sure. All he knows is James' hand goes around to cup the back of his head, dragging him in again. Regulus pulls away for only a second and it feels like a gasp of fresh air. Almost like he’s been drowning his entire life and this is the only taste of air he’s ever had. It rushes over his body in shivers and there is no one else in this world. Without another thought, he leans back in chasing after James’ lips. What more does a drowned man crave than that feeling of coming up for air?
James brings his hand over to hold his cheek again, and Regulus moves his own to fiddle with the bottom of James’ shirt. Not that he can do anything with it, not here, not around all these people, but he’s thinking about it. It brings a warmth to spread across the bottom of his stomach. For a moment he is not Regulus Black, and he’s not kissing James Potter, they are embers flicking out at the edge of the universe. They are collected pieces of stardust and nothing more.
When James pulls away fully he’s laughing softly, it coats Regulus' chest with the sound of it. “Woah.”
Regulus tilts his head, “Really, woah?”
James’ smile widens, and he hums, tracing against Regulus’ cheek, “I just…” he stammers, “I’ve liked you for a long time, Reg.”
“James…”
“And I never wanted to rush you or anything,” James quickly cuts him off, continuing his rambling. “I mean we work together and you have to see me every single day, which yeah, was partially-” “Fully,” Regulus corrects him.”
“Okay, fully,” James agrees, “My fault, and I just would’ve never wanted to make you uncomfortable or anything. I was so scared if I told you you’d want to bolt or quit and I never wanted to be the reason for that.”
“James…”
“And then everything with Kingsley happened,” James continues, shutting Regulus right up. “I felt like I was rushing you, and forcing you into something or I don’t know by changing our schedules around. Then I thought, oh god, it’s just like Mary again and I thought I was going to lose you and I didn’t want to. I really didn’t want to.” He takes a gasp of air, “I know we’re not that close and we’ve only just started seeing each other outside of work but I don’t want to give that up.”
“ James, ” Regulus finally shuts him up.
James looks back with a guilty expression, “Probably too much for what just happened huh?”
Regulus laughs breathlessly, “A little bit.”
It’s not like it’s surprising for James to come on really strong. He feels with his entire chest, anyone can see that. Regulus wouldn’t have to be around him long to figure that out. James is the person who bought all new Christmas decorations just to cheer Regulus up without even being asked to. For anyone else, Regulus would feel like they were invading but not James. He eases his way into every place he finds himself in like he was always meant to be there.
“Sorry,” James says, starting to take his hands down but Regulus quickly fixes them back on his face.
Regulus sighs, “I’m not good at words. I…” he shakes his head.
“You don’t have to say anything,” James reassures him.
“You should know,” Regulus looks at him as if he can communicate what he’s feeling with just his eyes. He’s not even sure he can properly think what he’s thinking. He can’t say it even within the confines of his own mind, but he does know there’s a reason he so badly wanted to ignore James tonight. There’s a reason why he’s been so terrified of sitting alone with him, and why he smiles so wide when he sees he’s the one who texted him.
James should know all of this, okay maybe not all of it. Maybe there are still some things Regulus wants to keep close to his chest, but James should know some of them at the very least. Regulus can’t say it though, it’s all trapped in his throat, and he didn’t even plan on any of this happening today. It wasn’t in the plan. In fact, it was very much against the plan; this was what he was trying to avoid. He’s not ready for it, but Kingsley did tell him to stop wasting time. Regulus is good at refusing to prepare himself for things. He keeps putting it off saying it won’t work and letting his anxieties completely control him. Maybe he really does need to stop wasting time.
“We’ve got time,” James murmurs, because of course he does, it’s like he’s inside Regulus' head.
Just as Regulus opens his mouth to speak he hears a voice scream out from a distant room, “Only five minutes until midnight!”
Regulus shrugs, “Five minutes?”
James hops off the counter, grabbing ahold of Regulus’ hand, “I don’t know,” he says, “I kinda wanna go into the new year with you.”
Regulus isn’t nearly drunk enough to feel so okay with it, or to hold James’ hand back so firmly as he hops off the counter. “I could be persuaded.”
“I’m good with persuading,” James says, leaning towards him again.
“Oh, are you now?” Regulus questions, with a tilt of his head.
Before Regulus can even react, or jump away more like, Lily is rushing into the room, hanging off the side of the door frame, “Hurry the countdown is….” her voice drops off as a smile rises on her face. “Couldn’t even make it an hour could you?”
“Oh shut up,” Regulus drops James’ hand, just for him to pick it right up again.
“Just admit it, Reg,” Lily says, “I’ve got skills.”
James looks between the two of them before saying, “Lily, I told you I liked him.”
Lily pauses, “No, I guessed it before that.”
“No, you didn’t,” James scoffs.
Regulus’ mouth drops open, “Oh?”
“Wait, what?” Lily tilts herself out of the room, “Oh sorry, I think I hear someone shouting my name I’ve gotta…”
“Lily!” Regulus breaks forward, trying to grab onto her arm but James’ grip is sturdy on his hand dragging him back in again.
“You’ll yell at her during our next shift,” James shouts over the music, “Now come on.”
Regulus follows him willingly, dashing into the living room with the big group of people, all circled around the TV showing the ball dropping. Regulus can’t help but notice Pandora and Emmeline wrapped up in each other’s arms, and weirdly enough Alice and Frank doing the same on the other side of the room. Regulus would’ve thought they’d at least wait until the ball drops. At least then there’s a chance people are too distracted to notice them on top of each other, but they’ve clearly given up that rouse a few drinks ago.
Regulus hits James’ chest with the back of his hand before gesturing over to them, “So who won the bet?”
James laughs, ducking his head into Regulus’ neck, “I’m pretty sure that would be Lily.”
Regulus groans.
James lifts himself back up, keeping his hands wrapped around Regulus’ waist, “I think they’re sweet.”
“Frank and Alice are fine,” Regulus says, “It’s Lily. ”
“You’ve got to stop letting her get to you,” James shakes his head.
Regulus opens his mouth to speak but before he can someone already starts counting down. Of course, it’s at sixty, which is completely ridiculous but everyone joins in anyway, James included but that’s not really a surprise. Regulus doesn’t start saying anything until they’re at ten.
Then it’s a bunch of drunken slurred speech, but a part of Regulus thinks it might be beautiful, maybe he put more in that first drink than he thought he did.
“10! 9! 8! 7! 6! 5! 4! 3! 2! 1! HAPPY NEW YEAR!”
Within the next moment, Regulus is being spun around and James is kissing him again. There are no fireworks anywhere close by and yet Regulus feels them against his back, lighting him up. James’ hands are in his hair and he feels like he’s flying, he’s grown wings, and it’s cheesy and cliche and quite awfully stupid, but Regulus lets himself fall for it anyway. Fuck it! Let’s stop wasting time!
James pulls away smiling and Regulus thinks he’s smiling too.
“What do you say?” James murmurs, “Here’s to next year?”
Regulus laughs softly, with a shake of his head, “Okay, James,” he says, “Here’s to next year.”
Regulus has spent his entire life just trying to get through the holidays and nothing more. If he could he probably would fast forward through the entire thing. Skip through his entire life just so he wouldn’t have to deal with any of it, but he’s not going to do that anymore. No, he’s gonna keep going.
No more wasting time.