Chapter 1
There was a thought, which had occurred to me before, When I wake up every night near dawn while I pant and breathe heavily and my lungs hurt, and I see flashes of the same nightmare over and over again even when I wake up and the blanket is all over on the floor and theres just one stray of the light on the white ceramic. I wish I could say I had dreamless nights maybe once or twice, but it happened since last year and didn't stop since. I see the car, a blurred image of the old grey car and then it flips over, crashes, and the windows crack down, over, and over again and it's like a mantra in my head and I hate it.
Last year the same happened, while me and mom and dad were in the countryside, and it happened in a rush, that I can't even remember any details. Just that everything was either thrown out or slammed in a second. And I woke up in the room of a white light and the bed with the railings, and nurses telling me about being ‘lucky’ to survive the accident, and they still pitied me. Lucky of what, I got no idea of, it's true that I hated the lot of my parents, which no one really even admits to if they do, but I do, I hated them even being a child, having grown up a bit, every time I was spoken to of my place by my dad, and glanced at by my mother.
Though I never felt lucky, I wished I went the same path my family died in, I still don't know why I thought that. Aunt Jill had to take my adoption after that, without really having the conditions to. And I had no one else really, my grandparents I didn't know of, and I had no siblings. Aunt Jill most probably had taken me in out of helplessness, which she might've not even done if I turned out a Muggle, but she, at first did know I was a witch from the first time she even traced out my cheeks in childhood, and I'm sure she didn't want me to turn out like my father, (because of his temper, I thought. but it was because he didn't know magic).
Aunt Jill told me she was proud of me when I got my letter, which excited me in many ways. I didn't know a lot about magic, I still don't, but being able to learn that and learning what I am supposed to do and is in my blood is fascinating, still feeling anxious about it, because of how others will see me. And what if I'll end up alone for seven straight years in there. Scared of not being one of them. I'm a half-blood, I thought, I don't know whyI'm scared.
So there's a plan, get on the express, answer questions in short vague answers, and remain somehow still, so that I couldn't be recognised, and bury my nose In a book. Which was a ridiculous idea. I still don't know what I'd do in school after that. So I get up, wiping my stained cheeks and making my bed, staring at the window for five minutes, and getting up to wear my dress robes, which aunt bought a day ago and didn't even bring me to diagon alley, which I was so excited to see. I grab the fluffy Jakie off her place on my chair who was covering her face with her little paw to avoid the light, and I, forcefully hold her in my arms, and trip down to the kitchen eating my cereal and staring at it, while I wait till it's 9:00 and aunt wakes up.
It wasn't a long ride exceptionally, and we had to turn down the windows since it was still weirdly hot at this part of the September, the trees were a dull colour of orange and the air fresher would sting on your face and the click of the cars door would burn your hand. I was nervous. Nervous in a good way, or bad, I don't think I'm old enough to say which. Thoughts would come abruptly, of how the school would look and how would the courtyard be and it the dorms beds would be stiff or not, and of the subjects that would be tought, of which I would like, and which I won't, if I'd stay, or not. Which I hoped, I would. The trunks where squeezed in the back of the car, I was ought to carry a wizarding cloak, ridiculously, and tons of books on crafting and animals and charms, which I didn't really get to look at since the day before, and since aunt Jill went to diagon alley later than she should've.
"...So, are you excited?" Asked aunt Jill and her smoky tone snapped me out of mind. She had a brown cigarette in between the index and middle finger of her left hand, rested on the window, her eyes by the roadside.
"Yes, pretty much." I answered shortly.
"Did you read any of the books for school?"
"I uh... didn't have the time, no."
"Shame. You still can read them in the first week, there's no classes, and I'll come to grab you to the diagon alley to get your wand these days. Classes will start on the second weekend, and you'll then get to know the classes and where they are. The castle is big you know, you'll grab a map around for days and be late for classes on grumpy old teachers. I know how it is."
She took a long drag of her cigarette.
Castle?? I think she said.
"...I see."
"You'll be great, I know that." She then said nicely, and reached to brush her finger to the side of my face, in a loving matter.
For reaching the station, I had to run through the platform between 9 and 10, and when I stumbled with the black cat in my arms, I felt the sound of the horn just like it was near my ear, And The station, was incredibly filled with a lot of people and the air was thick and fogged, and was filled with the sound of the iron of the cases being dragged on the floor, and parents were giving their children pecks on cheeks, some crying and saying farewells, and some older students walking hurriedly with cages of their owls that cleaned their feathers.
I had to wait for something I'm sure was ten minutes to listen to Aunt Jill blurting out and advising me ‘not to run into goblins accidentally’ or something like that, I didn't even listen, focused on the train and the kids that were like me, at last I said thanks, hugged my aunt, and carried my way too heavy trunk in, which was filled with books, mostly.
I stumbled my way in the hall, with Jackie biting me here and then when I ran into someone. and eventually, I found a nearly empty cabin, and escaped from the crowd and dragged in my trunk, and sat with an exasperated sigh, to which I saw two other people sitting with me.
The girl next to me was an eccentric looking girl with white and long hair, her legs splayed Infront of her, sitting with a childish grin, and In Front was a slightly chubby boy, a toad in his hand, squeaking here and then and wandering it's pitch black little eyes.
“Funny cat you have.” Said the girl out of the blue.
“Name's Jackie.” I said with a sappy smile, she petted Jackie on the head, and it let out a purring hum.
“I'm Rafferty.” I introduced, holding out my hand.
“Sounds Irish. I'm Luna.” She responded, and shook my hand, a bit soft her hands. I thought.
“Oh I am Irish.”
“Did you know black cats are considered bad luck in Ireland?”
I didn't know, are they?
The boy In Front of me cleared his throat silently, the said a wiggly voice,
“I'm Neville.” He said.
Then the ashy toad squeezed out of his grip before he sneaked his hand out to me, jumped on the carpet with a snort and wedged its way out of the door forcefully, Neville poorly running after it with a gasp. Luna chuckled and I looked with a smile.
The ride continued for a mount of time, and the air outside changed to dry and then, there were small hills and rivers here and then, and garden birds travelling lately, and the earth bracing for the warm-cold of the fall.
And so, I did, in fact bury my face in a book till we got there.
The book was called Fantastic beasts and where to find them by Newt Scamander, a random book I picked, one of the books Aunt got for me that had a brown spine and pictures of funny magical beasts.
Luna seemingly have read it for countless times and made opinions every time I flipped the page. some of her ideas were interesting, Like how Grindylows are extremely dangerous but their fingers are just so easy to break, Or how Kelpies can take various shapes, turn into horses or dogs.
She practically knew about every sea monster, details and names, plants too, which amused me even if I saw the pictures, and didn't really read most of the details. Some most had tails and green skins, ears that were almost inexistent and facing the other side of the page.
Luna had a soft soul, expect of the things she sometimes blurted out that made no sense, of 'How hogwarts strawberry puddings must taste or what hogwarts house she preferred to be in.' Ravenclaw, she would say and talk about it in long term.
"What house do you think you'll be in?" She asked in a dreamy tone, snapped me out of my mind.
I stuttered on my words, never to say I didn't know the houses, except of the one Aunt Jill went to, Slytherin. Matches her personality, from what she describes of the house.
I flipped the page with my thumb.
"Slytherin." Then I mumbled, I didn't know any other.
"...mmm..." She said thoughtfully, looking the other way at the square window that showed the deserted view of trees.
I sigh heavily, looking back at my book. I know what that expression means. Narrow, or rather, ignorance at this point.
I kept staring at the same page of the book that was now layed on Jackie, sleeping loudly and not even annoyed by the weight of the book on it. Her fur covering some of the words nearly chipping the side of the pages and bending them.
There was a sound down the hallway, the trolley passing by with a sound. I shoved my hands in my pockets, finding nothing. Then Luna pressed her hand on mine, got up instead with a load of coins and got two sugar quills for the both of us. I took it with a mutter of thanks when she handed me one and unwrapped hers herself.
"Slytherin is fine." Luna continued, like it didn't matter again.
"... Riverclaw's fine." I said with shrug, and licked from the feather-like candy.
"It's 'Ravenclaw'"
And I turned pink.
Later we got up, changed into our robes and grabbed out packs when the horn of the express blowed, and the train stopped, and there became chattering out the cabins. I walked off the train with Luna, a large looking man (if you'd say so) standing with a drooling heavy dog by his side, and he leaded the way to the boats. From the place I was looking, I was simply bewildered, the 'castle' which I thought was like a simple pickup school, and it was a castle. Like a medieval one. Every first-year on the boats were too amazed to speak, and Luna and I were just staring at the view when we landed and reached the gates we stopped, when I nearly tripped over my long robe, the cat peacefully napping half-awake in my arms, not at all bothered.
One of the neat looking professors called professor Mcgonagall, with an edgy witch hat, started a speech.
"Welcome to hogwarts." She said with a heavy tone and all of us went quiet.
"The start-of-term banquet will begin shortly, but before you take your seats in the Great hall, you will be sorted into your houses. The Sorting is a very important ceremony, while you are here, your house will be something like your family within Hogwarts. You will have classes with the rest of your house, and sleep in your house dormitory."
"The four houses are called Gryffindor, Hufflepuff, Ravenclaw, and Slytherin."
Nope, didn't remember that.
Then just a tiny toad ran out the crowd and Infront of the professor.
"Trevor!" Shouted the same boy from before, Neville. And ran to pick the grey toad up, muttering a sorry.
The professor sighed and turned to the giant man that ran a hand over his beard, spoke and turned to open the gate.
Suddenly, there was a voice by the rails. an arrogant one, and a boy stepped forward from the railings, faced someone I had to get on my tiptoes to see who.
"It's true then." Said the boy, with the blond hair. Two other bigger boys following him. "Harry Potter has come to hogwarts."
Harry Potter? Who's Harry potter? I eyed the other boy, named Harry, wearing a crooked glass and his hair in his eyes, his robes too big for his size.
"This is Crabbe, Goyle, and I'm Malfoy." He said.
"Draco Malfoy."
The name sounded funny for some reason, I smiled, another first year chuckled too, standing near Harry, but shorter. which the Malfoy boy now looked up and down meanly.
"Think my name is funny do you? No need to ask yours, red hair, and a hand-me-down robe-" And he went on insulting him.
"That boy sounds stupid." I whispered to Luna, who was walking gardens in her head, not paying attention.
"Who?" Asked Luna. It seemed like my voice wasn't so quiet after all, and the blonde boy gave me a glance, frowning, and I stared back at him when there was a pat on his shoulder and professor McGonagall announced that we should go in.
_______________________________________________
Luna was peacefully standing beside me when the sorting started, not bothered by the slightest, as it looked. Her expression was neutral but I was at war in my head, silently hoping to sort in Ravenclaw with Luna as well (if she did), she would describe Ravenclaw to be the clever and creative house. I was. Sort of, clever, around many topics. In art. And round the science, as aunt Jill liked to highlight and talk how good my mind was for solving equations and writing neatly and being amazing at learning new matters, (as she tutored me a bit herself over the years and teached me how to write), and told that I would be ready for going to hogwarts for good, and although I wished she taught me some subjects about magic and spell crafts too, I believe it was because she is always too put up in her own Muggle job (that she said and described to me daily, was a rubbish and good-for-nothing paper job she never really wanted to take but was ought to), I don't think she had any time left to prepare me for more what she did.
The gingered hair boy in the front row was now whispering about the sorting being sort of a quiz to test out your magical skills and acknowledge, which made me question things in my head, and regret staying up on Friday nights reading fantasy books instead of reading a thing or two about wizardry. And I don't really think I'd get accepted if there is a quiz.
The thought made my skin itch.
“RAFFERTY PRICE.” shouted the professor, I swallowed the dry saliva in my mouth and took a loud breath, stepped up the stairs and sat on the small wooden chair, as Professor McGonagall placed the wonky hat on my head and stepped away.
“Mmmm…Another half-blood…” the hat mumbled, contemplating.
“Now aren't you artistic…not afraid to stand up for yourself either…loyal, thoughtful…”
The hat continued, as if reading me like an open book as the students stared at me.
“Hufflepuff might do you good…”
I bit my lip and waited for the hat to decide and finally run its small leather head. Then it was, the hat shouted, rigidly and loudly.
“GRYFFINDOR!!”
I shut my eyes for a bare moment and got off the chair and walked to the plain table in the front, with the red and brown cloths and students with their ruby and light house-badges, and sat in the front where they were clapping and smiling blithely. Which made me crack down, then my eyes fell on Luna who was now getting sorted, and felt oddly bad. She was sorted in Ravenclaw.
“DRACO MALFOY.” McGonagall then bellowed right after, and the same boy ambled up the board and sat on the chair and swung his feet off the ground. He had an irritated face structure, which made him look different and brutal, and so his ashen short hair along with his pale white cheeks made his youngish features stand out, lightly and trickily, to make him look soft. But he was not anything soft, that much was clear.
The professor sorted the hat on his head, and when it was barely even a time, shouted the hat.
“SLYTHERIN!!”
And then, as if he expected, he walked to the table behind us proudly and grinned ear to ear.