Sirius was scared of him. Remus didn’t know when it started, his senses have only recently gotten to this point as he grows, maybe it was an old fear, maybe being padfoot had made Sirius aware of the horror of the wolf, of Remus. Whatever it was, Remus was starting to believe his theory more and more. The optimistic James Potter voice in his head had put up a good fight, with a cheery “he’s your best mate, he isn’t scared of you, don’t be daft Remus,” but Remus couldn’t ignore it anymore. Sirius acted completely normal around him most of the time, but this werewolf thing was a blessing and a curse, and Remus could now pick up on things others could only dream of. Remus knew something subconscious James was ignoring: Every time Remus got close to Sirius, made eye contact for a second too long, or touched him, Sirius’s heart raced. The only other explanation was that he had a crush on him, which was crazy, right?
Remus shook his head to clear that thought. He’d been nursing a hopeless, massive crush on Sirius for nearly a year. It was, quite frankly, pathetic. Since fourth year, every time Sirius had looked at him, laughed at his snippy comments, called him one of his ever-growing variations of ‘Moony’, or pretty much existed near him, Remus had been left breathless, starry-eyed, and utterly hopeless. Sirius was a work of art in motion, effortlessly beautiful in everything he did, from pulling pranks with James to stroking his hand through Remus’s hair after the moons. He turned heads wherever he went, got into trouble with a deadly smirk that made Remus’s knees buckle, and out of it with a wide-eyed smile that staff and students alike melted at. Sirius had the kind of beauty that poets spent their lives trying to articulate and that painters itched to convey on a canvas, but never quite could. And as for Remus? He was odd. He had scars everywhere, able to hide most save for the crisscrosses on his hands and the ugly slash across his face. He was too tall, his nose too big, and his hair too shabby. He knew, theoretically that some people found him attractive, only because he had been told as much by his friends and some brave souls that had no clue how gone he was on his best friend. He knew that he had an odd sort of appeal to certain (probably insane) people, but he had no illusions that Sirius could be one of them. Sirius would find some stunningly beautiful part-veela and have a fabulous, beautiful life together in the south of France and hopefully, hopefully, there would be a small place in it for Remus to admire and pine from afar. As long as he could have a piece of Sirius, that would be fine by him. He just needed to show Sirius that he had no reason to be afraid of him.
“MOONY!”
“oof-” Remus felt the air knock out of him as a body barreled into him from behind. Speak of the devil. Remus stifled a smile as Sirius’s arms wrapped around him while James and Peter rounded them to face him.
“Pads, we’ve talked about this,” James admonished, smiling, always smiling, “We need our Moony in one piece, you can’t break him.”
“As if he could,” Peter scoffed, “he’s like half his size.”
Remus laughed at the gasp Sirius let out behind him, popping his head to the side to glare at Pete without letting Remus go, “Excuse you! I’m taller than you Wormy! And besides, it’s not my fault Moonlight over here is freakishly tall. I’m at least three-quarters of a Moony.”
“Ha! It’s like a riddle,” James laughed, “How many Padfoots make up a Moony?”
“I’ll throw a fit,” Sirius deadpanned, “Right here in the corridor, I will. It’ll be terribly embarrassing for all of you.”
Remus laughed and brought his hand up to engulf Sirius’s, still clinging to him, prying them off of him gently and moving to meet Sirius’s eye for the first time in their ridiculous conversation. He had a retort ready on his tongue but felt it die almost immediately. Sirius’s startling grey eyes, even more striking when paired with his long, dark eyelashes and jet-black hair, looked up at him the same as always: fond, warm, inviting. To anyone else, Sirius was acting like he always had, but Remus heard it. the tell-tale thump-thump-thump of Sirius’s too-fast heart the moment Remus touched him, the moment their eyes met.
“Moony? You okay?” Sirius frowned, noticing Remus’s change in demeanor. Remus forced a smile and dropped Sirius’s hand, moving his gaze to meet Peter’s curious one and nodding.
“Yeah, yeah, just tired. The moon the other day is still messing with me.” Sirius looked at him suspiciously, and Remus tried to pretend he couldn’t feel his throat tighten when he noticed Sirius’s heart return to normal once they no longer touched.
“Well, why don’t we head to the dorm then?” James suggested softly, putting a hand on Remus’s shoulder, “I could do with some down time, we can relax a bit.”
“Sounds good,” Remus replied, smiling genuinely at James. Cheery, sunshiney James, always ready with a solution. Remus wondered if Sirius had confided in James about his fear, if James knew that one of his best friends was scared of another. Remus swallowed, turning his head to see Sirius still watching him. Was he weary of his change in mood, or weary of him? Did he fear Remus now, in human form, or was it lingering from the moon? Remus made a vow then and there that he was going to fix this. Whatever had made Sirius so afraid of him, he would counter with being the kindest, best friend a person could be. Whatever he’d done to scare Sirius would be nothing compared to how happy and safe Remus made him feel now. Remus had worked so hard to find a group of friends who accepted and loved him, and he couldn’t let this ruin it. He had earned that small spot in Sirius’s future, and dammit he was going to keep it.
Over the next few days, Remus spent a lot of time formulating his plan. In the end, hours of agonizing over the situation had led him to a small piece of parchment containing his ‘brilliant’ ideas that he had labeled “Operation make Sirius feel safe again/ not fear me.” It wasn’t a great title, but hey, he was working solo here, and Pete was the one who always came up with clever names for their plans, so it’d have to do.
Remus read over the parchment, sighing and running a hand through his already messy curls at the frankly pathetic content.
Operation make Sirius feel safe again/ not fear me:
1: make him happy (bring him things?? Compliment him?)
2: be as friendly as possible (MINIMUM SARCASM)
3: small physical touch again to show I won’t hurt him
4: don’t mention the wolf
5: convince him not to come to the full
6: listen for his heart rate and hope it stops racing.
Honestly, where his friends got the idea that he was smart was beyond him.
For the first few days, his plan mostly went unnoticed. Remus began by bringing Sirius treats from the kitchens whenever he had the chance, a blanket when the night got colder, and even some fire whiskey from his secret stash when Sirius mentioned wanting a drink. Other than curious glances from James and Lily and complaints about favoritism from Peter, nothing changed. If anything, Sirius’s heart raced even more. Remus couldn’t understand it. Sirius would thank him and smile that signature head-turning smile of his, even blushing under the attention, but still, Remus could hear his fear. Undeterred (okay, slightly deterred), Remus doubled down on efforts to compliment Sirius, and even though he tried to keep his sarcasm minimal, Sirius seemed to think his “Nice hairstyle Padfoot” or “You’re really smart Pads, that’s a great idea” were merely Remus teasing him. Desperate, it got to a point where Remus straight-out shouted at Sirius that he looked nice, causing Sirius to miss a step, fall down a full flight of stairs, and Peter to have a full-on fit laughing at him. Red-faced and stammering, he had helped Sirius up, noting to his despair that Sirius’s heart was out of control, though begrudgingly, he admitted that could have been due to his tumble down a moving staircase. His small, casual attempts at physical touch seemed to still be enough to, judging by his heart, terrify Sirius, as anything from a hand on Sirius’s knee while leaning across him to an arm around his shoulders while walking made his heart beat a mile a minute. And even more infuriating was the fact that Sirius would not stop touching him. Sirius walked around acting like everything was fine, grinning and laughing and, if anything, being more friendly than usual. And despite his heart still betraying his fear, he was touching Remus all the time, which was really inconvenient for Remus’s everlasting crush.
Consulting his list, Remus looked at item number 4, “Don’t mention the wolf.” Surprisingly, the item had been the most difficult, besides number 5 which was immediately shut down when he suggested it. The mere mention of his friends not joining him on the full was met with an outcry from James and Sirius to not take away their “time with precious moony you cruel, cruel man” and a flat-out “no, thanks though,” from Pete. He didn’t even look up from his essay. It was quite insulting, honestly.
Item 4, though, was proving to be hard when despite all signs pointing to Sirius being afraid of the wolf, it remained his favorite joke, topic of conversation, and way to torment Remus. For Merlin’s sake, Remus’s nickname revolved around the bloody thing; there was no escaping it. Remus sighed and tossed the piece of parchment onto his bed. The wolf was going to be mentioned, and Sirius was going to fear him forever.
“Moon of mine,” Sirius sing-songed across the table in the common room from his spot on the couch, lounged artfully across it with his feet draped over James’s lap and a mischievous grin on his face. Remus hummed in acknowledgment from his spot on the floor near the fireplace, not looking up from the muggle book Lily had lent him, attempting to cover the pathetic fact that his attention was already, as always, fully on Sirius.
“Seeing as you’ve taken to bringing me things lately,” Remus looked up and glared at him for the comment before remembering his promise to be his nicest possible self and quickly looking away, “I’m really craving some honey-dukes chocolate, and I know you have in that stash of yours. Spare a bar?”
James and Pete rolled their eyes good-naturedly and chuckled at their friend’s usually fruitless endeavor. But that was before. Remus bit his tongue before his usual “fuck off and buy your own chocolate rich boy” or something to that effect could leave his mouth. Instead, he swallowed and took a deep breath before moving to get up.
“Sure, pads.” His bones cracked as he heaved himself off the floor, but the sound was immediately drowned out by Peter’s incredulous “WHAT?” and James’s disbelieving laugh. Even Lily and Mary looked at him like he’d grown another head from their spot working at a nearby table.
“Um, are you okay Remus?” Lily asked tentatively when he walked past them, leaving his friends in stunned silence.
“Perfectly fine, Lils. Are we on for the library tomorrow?” He said pleasantly.
“I- uh, yeah, yeah we’re still on.”
Remus smiled at her, “Good, see you then,” he said, trying to cover his embarrassment at all his friends’ eyes on him. He knew this was uncharacteristic, but surely it wasn’t earth-shattering that he would share a chocolate bar? Perhaps it was the drastic influx of kiss-assery from the past few weeks towards Sirius that was finally reaching a boiling point. Remus grabbed the chocolate quickly from the dorm and tossed it to Sirius when he went back down, noticing his heart beating slightly faster despite Remus not being anywhere near him. Just from a chocolate? Did Sirius think he would poison him or something? He had to step up his complimenting, gifts and physical touch were obviously a no-go.
“You look nice in that jumper by the way Pads,” he said in a hopefully-but-probably-not casual voice as he sat down, and again Sirius’s heart picked up. Remus was going to cry. What, did Sirius know about his crush now? Did he think he’d make a move and attack him if he rejected Remus? Remus was spiraling, well and truly. It had been almost 4 weeks of him trying anything and everything to just get Sirius to like him again, and nothing had worked. Remus felt his throat tighten and his eyes prickle. He had to get out of here fast. He scrambled to stand again, despite having just reopened his book, and felt everyone’s eyes still on him.
“I- uh, bed. I’m tired. Night.” With that lackluster excuse, he walked briskly up to the dorm, praying to any available god that no one followed, that he could just mourn the loss of his best friend in peace. Unfortunately, it seemed the gods had other things going on, and soon after he sat on his bed to take several deep breaths, the dorm door slammed open and shut again. Only one person entered a room that loudly, announced themselves wherever they went; Sirius.
“Alright, out with it,” Sirius demanded from behind Remus. Remus didn’t stand, didn’t turn, didn’t meet those striking eyes.
“Out with what?” he tried to keep his voice light as he took off his shoes, but he feared the cracks were obvious, especially to the one person who had always been able to read him better than anyone.
“Don’t give me that Moony, you know what. What’s going on with you?” Sirius had rounded his bed and was now standing in front of Remus. Remus stood, trying to make a break for the bathroom, but Sirius pinned him in place with one look.
“Nothing’s going on Pads. I’m fine. I don’t even know what you’re talking about.” You’re scared of me.
“Don’t know what I’m talking about?” Sirius laughed incredulously, “Let’s see, shall we?” He started counting on his fingers, checking off Remus’s odd behavior as he went along, “You never rant about anything that annoys you anymore, you let me choose all the music with no arguments even when I know you hate the songs, you haven’t gotten annoyed at me and James when we fight in the room and we even knocked over your books the other day! You haven’t made a snarky comment about Pete’s fun facts in ages and you listened to him talk about bugs for an hour the other day. Bugs. An hour. And don’t even get me started on this.” He pulled the chocolate Remus had given him out of his pocket and threw it at Remus who caught it swiftly, failing to hide his discontent when he saw it.
“It’s all smushed,” Remus wrinkled his nose, “Did you have to sit on it?”
“Moony!” Sirius laughed, shaking his head, “That is so not the point! What’s going on?”
Remus panicked. Sirius was making him sound terrible. No wonder he was afraid of him, he was an awful person, it was a wonder he had any friends at all.
“I’m sorry Sirius, that stuff isn’t me, I’ll be this now, I swear. The other shoe isn’t going to drop, I won’t snap at you, I’ll stay like this. Nice and stuff,”
“Moony, I don’t want you like this forever,” Sirius huffed, stepping closer to him.
“You-what?” Remus furrowed his brows. He didn’t understand what Sirius wanted from him.
“I don’t want you like this forever, I mean the gifts and stuff were nice at first but I miss my best friend! You haven’t made a snarky comment or told me to fuck off in weeks, Re. You barely even touch me anymore. Did I do something?” If Remus didn’t know any better, he’d say Sirius looked anxious.
“What? No! No Sirius, I thought you didn’t want me to!”
“To touch me? Why on earth would I not want you to touch me?” Sirius looked outright confused now. Remus groaned, rubbing his palms into his eyes, not meeting Sirius’s gaze.
“Because, you know…” Remus couldn’t say it.
Sirius threw his hands up, “No, I really don’t. Help me out here, Re!”
Sirius was going to make him say it. “Look, I know, alright?” Remus snapped. It was like all the air had been knocked out of Sirius. He stepped back, eyes wide.
“You- what?” he whispered, horrified. Remus felt the tears threatening to fall. Sirius didn’t want to be scared, he thought he had been hiding it so well. Remus had to get this out in the open if they could ever move on.
“I know you’re afraid of me, of the wolf,” he choked out. Sirius whipped his head up, pure confusion written all over his face.
“Sorry, what?”
“I can hear your heart, I didn’t want to make you uncomfortable. It’s a new thing, but the enhanced werewolf senses are getting stronger as I age, I guess, and I can hear how your heart picks up whenever I touch you, or sometimes am just around you,” thump-thump-thump, “god, I can hear it now, you don’t have to be scared Sirius,” Remus’s voice broke, and he angrily wiped at his eyes, “I won’t like- attack you or something. It’s not your fault, I’d probably be afraid too, and I still want to be friends, but I understand if you don’t and I’ll keep my distance-”
“Remus!” Remus froze. Sirius never called him his real name. It really was over. “Just, hold on, would you? Merlin, that brain of yours really works against you sometimes, huh? You think I’m scared of you?”
“You- aren’t you? Why else would your heart beat that fast?” Remus whispered. Sirius stepped closer, within arms reach, and then again, voice dropping.
“You listen to anyone else’s heart, or just mine?” he asked, keeping his gaze locked with Remus’s. Remus couldn’t breathe.
“I mean, I can hear everyone’s, but I only pay attention to a few. Mainly yours.” He whispered the last bit, scrunching his eyes closed, sure it was much too obvious why. But Sirius didn’t recoil, if anything he leaned in closer.
“So, the other day when Lily complimented James’s smile, what did his heart do?”
“Sped up? But he likes-oh.” Oh.
Sirius smiled and stepped even closer, taking Remus’s scarred hand in his own.
“Yeah “oh”. Tell me to stop, and we can never talk about this again.” Sirius intertwined their fingers. Remus felt like he was trying to see through a thick fog.
“Your hearts racing,” was all he could think to say.
Sirius huffed a small laugh. “Is it now?”
“Are you afraid?” Remus whispered, brown eyes meeting grey, finding nothing but warmth.
“I can pretend to be if that’s what you want.” Sirius smiled.
“Pretend?” Remus’s gaze searched Sirius’s face, catching on his lips, which quirked up into a smirk.
“Yeah Moons, pretend. ‘Oh Moony, you’re so scary with those big knit jumpers and folded socks! The horror!’”
“You know that’s not what I think you’re afraid of.” Remus was talking so softly he was sure Sirius wouldn’t be able to hear him if he wasn’t so unbelievably close. And he was so unbelievably close.
“No, you think I’m afraid of the puppy that played tag with me last full moon. Remus, moony, moon-of-mine, I’m not afraid of any version of you. I think I’ve never felt safer with anyone in my life.” Sirius swayed closer still, so close Remus could feel his breath on his face, could almost lean forward and catch his lips with his own, “So walk away now, or use that big brain of yours to figure out why my heart might possibly pick up a little when you touch me.” Sirius squeezed his had softly, bringing his awareness to the fact that Remus was gripping their hands a little too hard between them.
“Pads?”
“Yeah?” Remus let Sirius’s hand go, moving his to cup Sirius’s jaw and tilt his head up ever so slightly, leaning down close enough to feel the ghost of Sirius’s lips on his own. He smiled slightly as Sirius’s hand settled on Remus’s waist, the other gripping his jumper.
“I’ve never heard it this fast before, I’m a little worried for you” he mumbled, voice deep with want. Sirius scoffed against him.
“Prick” he muttered, before finally connecting their lips. They crashed together, stumbling until Sirius’s back hit the wall, Remus caging him in, kissing him for all the times he had wanted to, had dreamed about it, had thought he would never have it. Sirius sighed and deepened the kiss, causing a moan to leave Remus that he couldn’t even be embarrassed about. Not when it caused Sirius to make the prettiest sound he had ever heard, not when it had Sirius clinging impossibly harder to him, not when it had Sirius pulling him closer until every part of their bodies touched.
“Moony, moons, moony,” Sirius panted, breaking their kiss slightly, which was fine by Remus, as it meant he got to finally kiss the spot where Sirius’s neck met his jaw, his collarbone, everywhere in between. “Moony, bed.”
“Impatient, Pads?” Remus smirked against his neck, kissing back up to his mouth, instantly deepening it and lifting Sirius in his arms easily, carrying him over to Remus’s bed as Sirius wrapped his legs around Remus’s waist.
“Yes,” Sirius mumbled into Remus’s mouth.
“Mm, me too,” Remus replied, licking into Sirius mouth and coaxing another of those pretty sounds from him. How had this been in front of him for so long and he’d just missed it? Just spent all that time not kissing Sirius when this was right here. Remus set Sirius down on his bed and crawled over him until he completely engulfed him, waving his wand to shut his curtains and casting a quick silencing spell before turning to look at Sirius, who was smiling wide, unabashed and wholly happy.
“Hi,” Remus said stupidly, sure a very similar smile was on his own face.
“Hi,” Sirius giggled, actually giggled, and oh, if Remus wasn’t gone before, there was no way anyone could hear that sound and not fall in love with Sirius Black. He kissed him hard, and Sirius arched his back to meet him, kissing just as enthusiastically. Sirius started tugging at his jumper, and, understanding immediately, he tugged it and his shirt off in one go. He settled back over Sirius to find him staring at him with wide eyes.
“Merde, how are you so hot,” Sirius leaned up to reconnect their lips but Remus stopped him.
“Uh-uh, your turn Black,” He mumbled, tugging on Sirius’s own shirt. Sirius had pulled it off and kissed him before he could even blink, and he smirked into the kiss, full of a confidence he didn’t even think possible for himself. Sirius wanted him, he wasn’t afraid of him. He could barely hear Sirius’s heart over his own but he knew how fast it would be going, and he knew now exactly what that meant.
After, when he and Sirius lay intertwined on his bed, Sirius’s head on his chest while he played absentmindedly with his hair, Sirius spoke against his skin, words slightly muffled.
“Did it ever cross your mind that you were wrong?”
Remus hummed, kissing the top of Sirius’s head as he thought, which made Sirius snuggle up closer to him.
“I don’t know. I don’t think I would let it. I couldn’t afford to get my hopes up, not about you. And fear and lust are hard to differentiate, surprisingly.”
“Love.” Sirius interjected.
“Hmm?” Remus questioned. Sirius loosened his grip on Remus to tilt his head up and meet his eyes. He looked perfectly at ease, but Remus could hear and, he thought giddily, feel his heartrate increase slightly. He was nervous, for real now.
“Fear and love, Moony. Not lust.”
“You love me?” Remus asked softly.
“I mean, duh,” Sirius responded, grinning at him, “I’ve been in love with you for, like, ever, it’s not my fault you never figured it out.” Remus gaped at him.
“What? How on earth was I suppose-”
“Oh please!” Sirius turned his body so he was fully lying on remus, chin resting on Remus’s chest. He was sure this was a very unflattering angle, but he couldn’t find it in himself to care. “I was so obvious about it! I was all over you for years, I craved your attention like a child and I flirted with you constantly.’
“I always thought you were just joking,” Remus laughed incredulously.
“I never joke about how hot you are,” Sirius replied, well, seriously.
“Oh, fuck off,” Remus chuckled, shoving him halfheartedly.
“There it is!” Sirius sighed happily, falling dramatically to lie next to Remus, “Oh I missed that!” he turned onto his side so he was nose to nose with Remus, who laughed at his antics, turning to lie on his side as well and pulling Sirius closer with an arm around his waist until they were flush against each other.
“Being told to fuck off? You’re psychotic.”
“I’m in love.” Sirius shot back, kissing Remus softly.
“Yeah, me too,” Remus admitted quietly. Sirius shot up, forcing Remus to sit up too and lean against his headrest.
“Wait, really?!” Sirius asked excitedly, clambering over to straddle Remus. Remus settled his hands on Sirius’s waist holding him in place.
“How could I not be?”
“Say it,” Sirius demanded, “Properly.”
“I’m in love with James.”
“Moony!” Sirius whined. Remus laughed and lifted Sirius’s chin gently with his index finger so their eyes met.
“I’m in love with you, Sirius. Entirely, completely enamored. If you changed into padfoot, you’d realize that my heart beats just as fast as yours whenever you so much as look at me. I love how you bring light wherever you go, even coming from such a dark place. I love how you heard I was a werewolf and immediately threw everything you’d ever been taught about them out the window and stood by me instead. I love how fiercely loyal you are, how you laugh when Peter goes on his rants until you can’t breathe and you’re red in the face, and then turn around and tell him he’s not funny as soon as he calls you out on anything, how you care about everyone in your life, how you would without a doubt kill someone for James and talk non-stop about his parents, how you heard I was friends with Lily and immediately made an effort with her, how you read books you hate so I have someone to talk about them with, how you became instantly as obsessed with muggle music as I did and how you seem to be the only person alive who truly understands every ugly, twisted part of me. Not to mention you may be the most beautiful person I’ve ever seen, not to inflate your ego. I am so wildly in love with you, Sirius Black, that it actually terrifies me, but I wouldn’t trade it for anything.”
Sirius looked shellshocked, and for a moment Remus panicked that his word vomit was too much too soon. But then-
“I- shit Remus. How do you do that? That was- I can’t- oh my god I love you so much. I need a speech like yours. Give me like a couple hours to organize my brain but- Moony, that was- how do you make me love you more? You have to stop or I’ll explode and it won’t be a pretty sight. You talk like that and you act all sweet but then you’re all mean and it’s so hot and you’re so hot, but like, I love you for your mind and all that, and how nice you are even though you go through hell every month and how you tutor firsties and read to me when it’s all too much and listen to Prongs talk about quidditch even though you kind of hate it but also every time you take off your shirt I almost choke and I’m kind of obsessed with your hands in a way that’s so concerning youmight have to be scared and Moony. I can’t believe I get to say all of this I’ve been keeping this in for so long. I love you Moonshine, so much. You are never allowed to leave me now I hope you know that. Like ever. Its me and you now.” Sirius surged forward and kissed him deeply, before sighing and resting their foreheads together.
“I wouldn’t,” Remus promised, “Leave, that is. Ever. I’d have to be dragged away kicking and screaming, and I’m a werewolf, so it wouldn’t be easy.”
Sirius groaned. “Ugh the wolf strength, so hot.” Remus laughed softly.
“Are you just going to say everything I do is hot now?” he asked kissing along Sirius’s collarbone.
“Yes, because it is,” Sirius tilted his head up and Remus eagerly took advantage of the extra access. “It’s been killing me, you have no idea. Re, I can’t think straight when you do that.”
“Good,” Remus mumbled against his neck, sucking a bruise onto his pulse point, “Don’t.” Sirius moaned at his words and grabbed his face, kissing him fiercely.
“See? Hot. I need to tell Prongs, he’s going to freak when he finds out I finally got you,” Sirius mumbled.
“Of course you’d think about James right now,” Remus muttered against his lips, chuckling. “He knew? Wait, dumb question, of course he did. And I’m pretty sure it’s me who got you, baby.” Sirius practically vibrated, humming happily.
“You like that?” Remus laughed, kissing Sirius as he nodded vigorously.
“Mhm, do that more,” Sirius kissed him harder, “And I beg to differ, Moony-mine.”
Remus smiled at him, still laughing softly, half in amusement, sure, but half wonder at the boy in his lap.
“I love you.” Sirius smiled at him, and oh, that was never getting old.
“Love you more,” he replied easily.
“Impossible,” Remus whispered against his lips, pulling him down and flipping them in one motion, breathing Sirius in.
And years later, when Sirius gets married, it isn’t to some part Veela in the South of France, and Remus gets a bigger part in his life than he’d ever dreamed of. As Remus grows and his powers grow with him, he learns to differentiate between fear and lust and looks back baffled at his young, insecure self, wondering how he could ever see the way their Sirius acts, has always acted, around them as anything other than the utter devotion it has always been. Sirius never fears him, and Remus never wonders if he does ever again.