Here, Again
Remus boarded a boat and listened to the sounds of the water as he sailed towards Hogwarts castle. He heard the gasps of excited first years as they took in the breathtaking building that they would soon call home, just as he had all those years ago.
Before he knew it, the boat docked and everyone began to disembark. Remus walked a path that was all too familiar, this time ushering first years instead of being the one ushered.
As hard as he tried, Remus could barely contain himself. Regardless of all that had happened since his last time being here, Hogwarts was one of the only places he had ever felt at home. At peace. That wouldn’t just go away, even if he somewhat wished it would.
He walked into the Great Hall, this time approaching the very front of the room where faculty sat. Dumbledore stood and welcomed the first years, and the sorting ceremony commenced. Remus drowned most of it out, until Dumbledore rose again and began his speech.
At the end, Dumbledore introduced, “I am pleased to welcome Professor R. J. Lupin, who has kindly consented to fill the post of Defence Against the Dark Arts teacher. Good luck, Professor!” The tables in front of him erupted into cheers, and Remus stood. He didn’t particularly like being the center of attention, but he supposed he had to get used to being in the front of the room if he was going to be teaching.
After the feast, Remus made his way to his classroom. He wished he had the map, the halls at Hogwarts could be confusing, especially since he hadn’t been there in years.
Eventually, Remus entered his classroom. It was quite spacious. He took the stairs up to his office and began organizing immediately. Remus had always been a clean freak, except for the two years between autumn 1981 and when he and Reg moved in together.
***
Regulus knew that the train had to have arrived at Hogwarts by now. He’d been timing it, and it was now two hours after the anticipated arrival, so he decided to write to Remus.
Dear Remus,
I hope the train ride went well. How are you? What is it like to be back at Hogwarts? Have you seen Harry yet? What is Dumbledore saying about everything?
Sorry about all of the questions. I’m good so far. Haven’t been alone for 10 years now, of course, but I’ve already read a new muggle book. I quite liked it. I’ll have to lend it to you when you come home.
There haven't been any signs of him yet, but I’ve been keeping my eyes out. I don’t know if he’ll know how to find me, which is good.
Please update me soon about how everything is going!
Miss you a little bit (I guess) but it is all good here,
R.A.B.
***
Dear Reg,
I’m doing well so far. It’s weird to be back at Hogwarts, but I kind of missed it if I’m honest. I saw Harry for the first time on the train. He looks exactly like James, but he has Lily’s eyes. Seeing him makes me miss them. First day of classes is today, and I’ll be teaching him. Think I’m going to do a lesson on boggarts.
The train ride was peaceful for a while, but the dementors came searching for him and one attacked Harry. I stepped in, of course. Thought he was James at first.
Dumbledore hasn’t really said much about him yet, but there are dementors surrounding the castle, so I’m not too worried.
I’m glad you’ve been reading. It’s a good way to pass the time.
Anyway, what else is going on? Maybe you should get a pet to keep you company.
Miss you,
R.J.L.
***
The class filed in, and Remus recognized some faces from the halls, but didn’t know many names. He was happy to see Ron, Hermione, and Harry, and he immediately recognized Frank and Alice’s son. Remus also picked out Draco, Narcissa’s son. Regulus talked about him, in the beginning.
Remus had situated the classroom to have the desks pushed to the walls, and a large closet in the middle. He had gotten a boggart and placed it there, before quickly locking it.
He paced the classroom, in front of his new students, and began to give an introduction to the boggart.
Remus remembered the first time he had ever encountered one. He had just returned from Honeyduke’s through the secret passage, and he spotted Barty Crouch Jr, one of Reg’s close friends, on the map. He was walking alone in a hallway, and Remus wanted to avoid him at all costs.
Remus looped around and found himself in a narrow hallway. Suddenly, a full moon shone above him. Remus instantly freaked out. It wasn’t a full moon, right? The moon had only been a few days ago, and it was three in the afternoon! Remus couldn’t believe it. His stomach sunk as he felt the inevitability of the transformation.
Suddenly, Remus remembered learning about boggarts in his own Defence Against the Dark Arts class. He had been too scared to face one in front of his entire class, feeling quite certain that being scared of a full moon would draw suspicion, but he remembered the spell.
“Riddikulus!” Remus shouted at the boggart, and the fake moon immediately transformed into a balloon that flew around the hall.
Coming back to reality, Remus selected the Longbottom boy, Neville, to go first.
“Neville, what frightens you most of all?” Remus questioned.
“Professor Snape,” Neville mumbled so quietly that Remus had to ask him to repeat himself.
“Professor Snape, yes, he frightens us all!” The class erupted into giggles. Remus felt terrible for Neville, if he was honest. No one’s biggest fear should be one of their teachers. He supposed Snape felt the need to rebel from being bullied through his years at Hogwarts, but come on! Taking out nearly 20 years of frustration on children? He was just as cruel as he had been then. “And Neville, you live with your grandmother, is that correct?”
“Yes, but I don’t want it to turn into her either!”
“No, no, I want you to picture her clothes, just her clothes,” Remus stated.
Neville nodded, so Remus approached him and whispered, “I want you to picture Professor Snape in your grandmother’s clothes.” He smiled. “Okay, wand at the ready, and three… two… one!” Remus opened the closet, and Snape walked out.
“R-R-Riddikulus!” Neville shouted, and the class erupted in laughter as Snape suddenly appeared wearing a truly ridiculous outfit, decked out in emerald green and animal skins.
“Parvati! Next!” Remus called, and watched as she stepped up and the large snake became a clown, rocking back and forth.
After her, Ron faced the boggart. The gigantic spider began to approach him, but he quickly said the incantation. The spider suddenly had rollerblades and was struggling to move.
When it became Harry’s turn, Remus jumped in front of him, worried the boggart would turn into Lord Voldemort. He couldn’t let anything happen to Harry. For James and Lily. For himself. For Dumbledore. He had to keep Harry safe, he had to jump in front of him.
Remus watched as the boggart transformed into a full moon. “Riddikulus!” he called, and the moon became a quickly deflating balloon that flew around the room and put it back into the closet. Remus should be worried that students would catch on to his ailment, but all he cared about in the moment was protecting Harry.
“Well, sorry about that! That’s enough for today, if you’d all like to collect your books, that’s the end of the lesson. Thank you! Sorry, sorry!” Remus dismissed the class.
***
It was a Hogsmeade day, which explains why Remus was so surprised when Harry came to talk to him. He guessed that Harry did not have his form signed, and it wouldn’t be very smart if Remus told him about the passage to the Honeyduke’s cellar.
“Professor, can I ask you something?”
“You want to know why I stopped you facing that boggart, yes?” Harry nodded, so Remus continued. “I would have thought it’d be obvious. I assumed it would take the shape of Lord Voldemort”
“I did think of Voldemort, at first, but then I remembered that night on the train. The dementor.” Harry responded.
“I’m very impressed,” he started. “I’d suggest that what you fear the most is fear itself. This is very wise.”
Harry looked off into the distance before speaking again. “Before I fainted, I heard something. A woman. Screaming.”
Remus immediately knew. It had to be Lily he heard. “Well, dementors force us to relive our very worst memories. Our pain becomes their power.”
“I think it was my mother,” Harry said, sounding definitive. Remus knew exactly what it was. “The night she was murdered.”
“You know, the very first time I saw you, Harry, I recognized you immediately.” Remus finally decided to talk to Harry about his parents. He deserved to know about them, even if Remus wasn’t ready to share everything just yet. “Not by your scar, by your eyes. They’re your mother Lily’s.” To be fair, this was true. Remus was convinced Harry was James until he saw the color of his eyes. “Yes, oh, yes, I knew her.” Remus turned and walked to the other side of the hall. “Your mother was there for me at a time when no one else was. Not only was she a singularly gifted witch, she was also an uncommonly kind one. She had a way of seeing the beauty in others even, and perhaps most especially, when that person could not see it in themselves.”
Remus remembered all of the times that Lily would comfort him when he was feeling down. When he felt worthless after moons, when he had issues with Sirius, any problem he had, Lily would be there to help him. He could already see that amazing quality in Harry.
“And your father, James, on the other hand, he uh,” Remus laughed, “he had a certain, shall we say, talent for trouble. A talent,” Remus turned back to Harry, “rumor has it, he passed on to you. You’re more like them than you know, Harry. In time, you’ll come to see just how much.”
It felt good to tell Harry all of this. For so long, he had no one else, besides Regulus, to share his memories of his friends with. Although the wound still felt raw, he knew it would only be good for him in the end.
***
Dear Reg,
I had a really good conversation with Harry earlier. I think it’s good for me to be here. Exposure therapy I guess!
I had some of my first lessons, and I think that they went well. Except for one thing. I told you I was doing boggarts, right? Well, Harry’s was a dementor and I had to jump in front of him and end class. I also think I saw Narcissa's son. His name is Draco, right? Other than that, I’m doing well.
How is everything back home? Any progress on getting a pet? What’s going on in the muggle world?
Miss you,
R.J.L.
***
Dear Remus,
I’m glad you’re doing well. Yeah, Draco is Cissy's son. Talking to Harry is definitely a good thing. How much are they alike?
Everything at home is good. I think I might get a cat or something, hopefully that’s good. I kind of need the company. I was thinking about visiting Cissy at some point, or inviting her here. It has been a while, and she was always my favorite cousin.
There is honestly nothing going on in the muggle world right now. I can send you some newspapers if you want!
Miss you,
R.A.B.