Chapter 12
If you'd told Remus that he'd be spending his Friday afternoon smoking weed with Sirius's estranged brother, he'd have laughed in your face—loudly, and without hesitation. However this is exactly what happened and he had no idea what to do about it.
Instead of heading to the library after class with Lily like he usually did, Remus made his way toward the greenhouses, his mind set on finding Barty and Evan. As he neared the third greenhouse, the familiar scent of weed reached his nose, and he let out a sigh of relief. At least they were here. But as he rounded the corner, his breath caught. There, leaning casually against the weathered stone of the greenhouse wall, were Barty, Evan, and—unexpectedly—Regulus Black. Remus had never thought he’d find himself in a situation like this. The three boys were laughing lowly, a faint cloud of smoke curling lazily into the air between them.
Regulus’s grey eyes flickered to Remus in shock, the joint between his fingers momentarily forgotten. "Well, well," Barty said with a smirk, breaking the silence. "We were wondering if you'd turn up again."
"You know him?" Regulus asked, his voice a mix of disbelief and something else—something that seemed to veer toward confusion, even distaste. Remus, still caught in the unexpected confrontation, turned his attention to Barty and Evan, his mind scrambling to process what was happening. He could feel the weight of Regulus's gaze on him, but it was the casual teasing from Barty and Evan that snapped him back into focus. The two of them were watching Regulus with amusement, clearly finding the situation entertaining. “We may have smoked weed with him before,” Evan replied nonchalantly, the faintest smirk on his lips. “Why, have you got a problem with it?”
Regulus let out a heavy sigh, his lips curling into a scowl as he turned back to face Remus. "Well, what did you want then?" he asked, his tone biting. Remus cleared his throat awkwardly, trying to ignore the tightness in his chest. He briefly looked over at Barty and Evan—at least they were a bit more accommodating. "Could I... buy some of your weed?" he asked, not quite meeting their eyes. There was a beat of silence, followed by the exchange of one of those looks—those silent, knowing glances that passed between Barty and Evan like some unspoken code. Remus shifted on his feet, waiting, trying not to feel like the odd one out in this strange circle.
"Sure," Barty said after a pause, and Remus couldn’t help but feel his shoulders sag in relief. At least that part was easy. But then Barty's smile grew, and Remus felt his body tense all over again. "Only if you stay here and smoke with us," Barty finished, his eyes gleaming with mischief. Remus blinked, thrown off. "Is that it?" he asked, his voice laced with confusion. He’d expected something worse—some kind of catch.
"Really, Barty? Can’t he just buy his weed and fuck off?" Regulus groaned, turning away from the group and taking another drag from his joint, clearly done with the whole situation. "Hey now, Reggie, that’s no way to treat someone," Evan teased, a mischievous grin tugging at the corners of his lips. It was obvious that both he and Barty found the whole ordeal entertaining. Remus watched them, feeling the tension rise in his chest again. He could almost feel the weight of Regulus’s disdain, like it was a physical thing. But now that he thought about it, he realised he didn’t actually know why Regulus seemed to hate him so much. Was it just because he was a Gryffindor? Or was it because he was friends with Sirius?
Evan, clearly tired of being ignored by Regulus, turned his attention to Remus and passed him the joint with a casual, almost bored flick of his wrist. “So, are you just buying the weed for yourself, or…?” he asked, his tone light but curious. Remus took the joint hesitantly, still trying to remember the trick they had shown him the last time. He took a small puff of smoke, holding it in for a moment before exhaling, his lungs burning slightly.
“No, it’s actually for… um, Sirius’s birthday,” he said awkwardly, his gaze flickering briefly over to Regulus. He quickly darted his eyes away, unsure of how the younger Black brother would react. He didn't want to be caught in some bizarre confrontation, especially not now. “He requested it, although… he doesn’t know where I get it from,” Remus finished, his voice quieter than he intended, but the words were out.
There was a sharp exhale from Regulus, a huff of dry amusement that caught everyone's attention. All eyes turned to him, but he didn’t look at anyone. Instead, he stared off into the distance, clearly uninterested in the others' reactions. "Smart move," Regulus muttered bitterly, his voice tinged with something Remus couldn’t quite place. "He wouldn’t accept weed from a bunch of Slytherins."
This was the first time Regulus had said something to Remus that wasn’t a direct insult, and in some strange way, Remus felt like he should be celebrating this instead of Sirius’s birthday. Instead of acknowledging it, though, he blurted out his impulsive question. “Why?”
Regulus turned, finally meeting his gaze, his face twisted in a scornful expression. “Why?” he repeated, as if the question itself was laughable. “Because he decided that all Slytherins were scum on Earth the minute he was born into the Black family.” Remus froze, the words hitting him harder than expected. He wasn’t sure what to say. There was an awkward weight to the air now, as if Regulus had just opened a door to something too personal, something none of them were equipped to handle. Even Barty and Evan shifted uncomfortably, their earlier amusement evaporating in an instant.
“Don’t mind Reg, he gets a little disdainful when he’s high,” Barty explained with an awkward laugh, clearly trying to smooth over the tension.
“No, it’s fine,” Remus muttered, taking another drag, his thoughts spinning. “It’s more information than I’ve ever gotten from Sirius.” At this, Regulus actually made eye contact—his brow furrowing in genuine confusion, the scowl that had been permanently etched on his face now replaced with something more vulnerable, unsure. "What do you mean?" he asked, his voice lower, no longer dripping with that familiar bitterness. “I mean… Sirius never really talks about… any of it,” Remus replied slowly, not quite looking Regulus in the eye as the words left his mouth. It sounded too casual, too offhand. But there was something about the way Regulus had asked that caught him off guard. Did Regulus think that Remus was privy to all their family drama? Did he think Sirius had ever shared anything meaningful with him about that? The thought felt strange, almost absurd.
Regulus didn’t say anything for a long moment, his gaze now distant, like he was lost in thought, trying to make sense of something. Remus felt an odd pang of sympathy, mixed with confusion.
“Maybe he doesn’t trust you like he does his other obnoxious friends,” Regulus muttered, the scowl quickly making its return. The words stung more than Remus cared to admit, a sharp pang of hurt lodging itself deep in his chest. His instinct was to defend himself, to push back against the accusation that felt both unfair and too close to something painful. “James and Peter also don’t know anything, only that something went wrong,” he argued, his voice a little more defensive than he intended. For a moment, there was silence. Remus watched Regulus carefully, his eyes narrowing slightly. And for just a heartbeat, he thought he saw something flicker across Regulus’s face—something fragile, something hurt. It was gone before he could even register it fully, replaced with the now-familiar frown that Regulus wore like armor.
“So, you don’t know why he hates me,” Regulus said, and it wasn’t so much a question as it was a flat statement, his tone almost dismissive. Remus blinked, still caught off guard by the exchange. He opened his mouth, ready to speak, but then a flicker of realisation dawned on him. “Do you not know why he hates you?” Remus asked, his voice barely above a whisper, shocked at the possibility. For a split second, Regulus’s mask slipped. Remus saw it—a flash of panic, an uncertainty that Regulus was desperately trying to hide. It was gone as quickly as it appeared, but it left a trail of something raw in its wake. “I have my theories,” Regulus mumbled, his voice quieter now, more guarded. He turned away, taking another drag from his joint, his back slightly hunched, as if trying to shield himself from something Remus couldn’t quite understand.
"Have you ever tried, I don’t know, asking him?!" Remus asked, his voice rising with disbelief. He was completely flabbergasted by this whole conversation. It was like the Black brothers had never figured out how to communicate with each other. How was that even possible? Regulus scoffed, rolling his eyes dramatically. "Yeah, because I’m just gonna go up to him and ask, ‘Hey Sirius, why do you look at me like I’m the devil incarnate?’” He mimicked the words in a mocking tone, clearly dismissing the idea before Remus even had a chance to think. Remus stared at him, completely stunned. "Umm, yes? That’s exactly what you should be doing." The sheer incompetence of the Black brothers to deal with their issues was almost too much to handle. How had things gotten so twisted between them?
Regulus shook his head, taking another drag from his joint, the smoke swirling around him as he exhaled it in frustration. "You do realise he would just tell me to fuck off, right?" Remus could practically feel the weight of Regulus’s words hanging in the air—that bitterness, the resignation in his voice, and the deep hurt that had been building for years. Still, Remus couldn't help himself. He couldn’t understand why Regulus was giving up before even trying.
"Look, Remus, we’ve tried very hard to convince him to do the same, and as you can see, it hasn’t worked." Barty's voice was matter-of-fact as he gestured in Regulus's direction, clearly trying to diffuse the situation, but the frustration in his voice was hard to miss. Remus blinked, suddenly noticing that Evan and Barty were still standing there, observing the exchange in silence. He hadn't noticed them, absorbed in his argument with Regulus. They were exchanging glances between each other, their expressions a strange mixture of sympathy for both parties and slight amusement at the spectacle unfolding in front of them. Remus let out a small, frustrated sigh, his shoulders sagging as the weight of the conversation settled on him. It was clear that he wasn’t getting anywhere with Regulus—why would he? Regulus hadn’t even acknowledged him until now, and Remus had the creeping suspicion that his attempts at reasoning were only adding fuel to the fire.
"Maybe we should lock them in a room together until they figure their shit out," Remus mumbled, the words slipping out before he could stop them. Barty and Evan both let out surprised laughs, their faces lighting up in amusement at the absurdity of it all. "I’m still here, you know," Regulus muttered, his voice lacking the usual venom. Remus raised an eyebrow, considering that an improvement.
Remus stayed with the Slytherins a little while longer, chatting mostly with Barty and Evan as Regulus grew quiet. The tension between them had shifted slightly—Regulus wasn’t as openly hostile, but he didn’t seem keen on joining the conversation either. When he finally finished his joint, Remus decided it was time to wrap things up. He handed over James’s galleons for eight rolled spliffs, and was about to make his way back up to the castle when Regulus suddenly spoke, catching him off guard.
“Umm… I was wondering if you could give this to Sirius,” Regulus muttered quickly, his tone low as he handed over a folded parchment. Remus hesitated, looking at the paper in Regulus’s hand, his confusion clear. “It’s for his birthday,” Regulus added, still refusing to make eye contact. Remus blinked, momentarily thrown by the sudden shift in behaviour. After everything, this was... unexpected. He took the parchment slowly, almost uncertainly, the weight of the gesture making him pause. He hadn’t expected Regulus to do anything like this, especially after their awkward conversation. “It’s not going to curse him, is it?” Remus asked, mostly joking.
A faint smirk tugged at the corner of Regulus’s lips, but it disappeared as quickly as it had appeared, leaving his face neutral once more. "I promise it won’t harm him," Regulus said with a hint of dryness in his voice. "I wasn’t even sure if I was going to give it to him," he added, his eyes meeting Remus’s for the second time. There was something almost... vulnerable in the brief moment of eye contact, but it was gone too quickly to pinpoint. "But I guess you convinced me.”
It was now Saturday afternoon, which was also the afternoon of Sirius’s birthday. Remus had known the day would be full of antics, but he hadn’t quite anticipated how relentless James and Peter would be in their mission to make Sirius the center of attention. The first real public spectacle happened in the Great Hall when James and Peter, without warning, launched into a raucous rendition of "Happy Birthday." The entire room fell into a stunned silence, save for the booming voices of the two of them, off-key and completely unapologetic. Remus, already cringing, felt a wave of secondhand embarrassment flush through him. His fingers tightened around his mug, wishing he could vanish into the stone walls of Hogwarts.
He stole a glance at Sirius, half-expecting him to be red-faced and uncomfortable, but instead, Sirius was laughing. Loud, carefree laughter that drew attention and didn’t seem to care who heard it. His eyes shone with mischief, and his grin—wide and unabashed—seemed to say that he was thoroughly enjoying every embarrassing moment. It was as if this was exactly what he'd wanted all along: the attention, the chaos, the unrestrained affection from his friends.
James, never one to shy away from a good prank, had also somehow managed to charm the portraits lining the hallways. Every time Sirius walked past, without fail, the portraits would shout in unison, “Happy Birthday, Sirius!” The first few times, it was mildly amusing—Remus couldn’t help but chuckle at the sheer absurdity of it all. But by the fiftieth time, he found himself staring blankly at the enchanted portrait of a grinning knight, who had just bellowed another round of the same enthusiastic greeting. It was starting to lose its charm.
Remus sighed, rubbing his temples as they passed yet another frame. “Happy birthday, Sirius!” The portrait of a woman in a bonnet waved a hand at them, her voice high-pitched with excitement. “Right,” Remus muttered, his patience fraying. He glanced at Sirius, who, of course, was grinning like a madman, taking each declaration of “happy birthday” as if it were the best gift ever given to him. Remus, however, was beginning to feel as if he were caught in some twisted birthday loop—a never-ending stream of overly-cheerful portraits shouting at them from every direction.
Because it was Sirius’s birthday, he’d made it very clear that the only acceptable way to celebrate was with a full-blown game of Quidditch. Naturally, no one had the heart to argue—except Remus, who had been hoping for a quiet afternoon. But the moment Sirius called them together, it was clear his plan was already in motion. Even Mary had joined in, dragging a reluctant Lily behind her. There were seven players, which meant only one thing: Lily, ever the good sport, volunteered to referee. Remus groaned inwardly, glancing towards her with a half-hearted glare that she pretended not to notice.
"I should stay down here and keep Lily company," Remus said, feigning disinterest, hoping to get out of flying. The idea of soaring through the air with James and Sirius, who always seemed to have a death wish on the pitch, was not exactly appealing. Lily, however, waved him off with a lazy flick of her wrist. “No, don’t be silly, Remus. I’ll be fine.” Her tone was drenched in casual indifference, but there was a subtle, almost mischievous, smirk tugging at the corner of her lips. That smirk. It was a smirk that had driven him to the brink of madness more times than he cared to admit.
“See?” Sirius added, his voice dripping with feigned innocence as he flashed Remus a grin that mirrored Lily’s. “She’s fine, Remus. You can join us now.” Remus glared at both of them, feeling a growl of frustration bubble in his chest. He wasn’t going to be able to escape this. Not with that look in their eyes.
So, that’s how Remus ended up on a team with Marlene and Sirius. Unfortunately for him, he wasn’t allowed to play keeper again after what happened last time. Instead, he was stuck flying around with the Quaffle, juggling the uncomfortable balance of trying to catch and throw, neither of which he excelled at. As a chaser, Remus was a complete mess. He wasn’t built for high-speeds, darting around and attempting to throw the Quaffle into hoops while avoiding constant taunts from James. Every time he had the Quaffle in his hands, he felt like a bumbling fool—half of his throws didn’t even come close to hitting their target. It was a miracle he hadn’t crashed into a goalpost or run into someone.
Sirius, of course, was in his element. He flew with effortless grace, weaving in and out of opponents with the sort of confidence Remus could only dream of. But even with Sirius’s support, it was clear that Remus was in way over his head. The game had devolved into a comedy of errors on his part. By the end of the match, it was clear that no matter how hard Remus tried, the sheer force of James’s team was unstoppable. Even with two-thirds of the actual Quidditch players on Remus’s team, James’s relentless energy and competitive spirit managed to push them to victory.
Sirius, however, didn’t seem at all put out by the loss. In fact, he claimed that ‘watching Remus attempt to catch a ball’ made up for it. Remus shot him a pointed look, but Sirius only grinned wider, clearly enjoying his friend’s misery. Now, back in their dormitory, the boys had begun to make plans for the night—plans that seemed to be getting more and more elaborate.
“Remus and I will go to the kitchens to grab the food and drinks,” Sirius explained, lounging back on James’s bed like he owned it. His tone was casual, but his eyes twinkled with the mischief that always seemed to follow him. “And you and Pete can go get the alcohol from the twins,” he added, giving James a light pat on the leg. Remus blinked at him, still processing the implications. “How the hell do you know where the kitchens are?” he asked incredulously.
Sirius turned slowly, the smirk creeping across his face like a cat that had just caught a mouse. “Oh, that information was passed down to us after a particularly memorable prank,” he said, voice full of innocent charm. James and Peter both burst out laughing at the same time, a sound full of shared memories. Remus just groaned, setting his book down in frustration. “I don’t even want to know,” he muttered, already preparing himself for whatever ridiculous story would inevitably follow.
Ten minutes later, Sirius was leading Remus through the winding corridors of Hogwarts, a mischievous glint in his eyes. As they neared what appeared to be a dead end, Remus raised an eyebrow. “Do the Hufflepuffs have a hidden stash or something?” he muttered. Sirius didn’t answer. Instead, he flashed a sly grin and reached for the portrait on the wall. The painting depicted a bowl of fruit, its ripe pear gleaming under the soft light. Remus watched in stunned silence as Sirius’s fingers danced across the pear, tickling it. To Remus’s utter disbelief, the pear began to giggle—high-pitched and unmistakably amused.
Before he could react, the portrait swung open with a creak. A bustling kitchen sprawled beyond the frame, its long counters piled high with food, and the warm scent of freshly baked bread wafted through the air. “What the actual—?” Remus’s voice trailed off as he stood frozen, his mouth hanging open in shock. Sirius stepped aside with an exaggerated flourish, his grin widening. “Welcome to Hogwarts’ best-kept secret,” he declared with a dramatic sweep of his arm. “The kitchens.”
Remus quickly fished out the folded parchment he kept tucked safely in his robes and began sketching the newly discovered passageway leading to the kitchens. The map had grown impressively large over the last couple months, its corners crinkling with use. He had long since mastered the art of enlarging it with a charm, though he had to fold it in an increasingly complicated pattern to accommodate its expanding details—now covering all floors of Hogwarts.
“What’s that?” Sirius’s voice interrupted his concentration, and Remus felt a warm breath on his neck as Sirius leaned in, his curiosity piqued. “Oh, it’s nothing. Just a map,” Remus replied nonchalantly, as he carefully completed the last stroke of the new drawing. But before he could tuck it away, Sirius had already leaned over, his hand snatching the parchment from Remus’s grasp.
"Merlin's balls," Sirius gasped, his eyes widening as they scanned the detailed blueprint of the castle. "This is the entire bloody castle!" He flipped the parchment over, his finger tracing a hidden passageway. "And is that…" His voice trailed off as he followed the line, then stopped abruptly. "Is that a secret tunnel to Hogsmeade?" Remus didn’t answer right away, but the smirk that tugged at his lips betrayed his amusement. Sirius, meanwhile, was already lost in his thoughts, his gaze flickering between the map and the possibilities it held. “This is incredible, Remus,” Sirius said, voice hushed with awe. “Think of the potential.” His eyes glazed over for a moment, imagining the freedom the map offered, before snapping back to the present.
"Yes, we can look at it later," Remus said with a small chuckle, glancing at the now-closed portrait. "But first, let's get the food." Sirius grinned and nodded, his eyes already scanning the portrait as he leaned forward once more to tickle the pear. But just as his fingers brushed against it, Remus spoke up. “Wait, can I have a go?” he asked, taking a step closer. Sirius smiled, shifting aside with a dramatic flourish, giving Remus the space to reach for the fruit. Remus’s fingers hesitated for a moment before making contact with the pear. It was a strange experience, and Remus found he quite liked watching the pear giggle in delight.
Inside the kitchens, the air was warm and filled with the hum of activity. A group of house-elves scurried about, clearing away the remnants of the evening meal, their small hands expertly stacking plates and wiping down counters. To one side, a second doorway led to long tables that mirrored the grand house tables in the Great Hall—though it was much less ornate. As Remus took in the sights, his gaze moving from the bustling elves to the cozy warmth of the room, he noticed Sirius had already walked up to one of the house-elves, eagerly listing off an assortment of food he wanted prepared. The elf, with its large, round eyes, nodded quietly, making notes on an invisible pad in midair.
It was then that Remus caught the tone in Sirius’s voice. He wasn’t outright rude, but there was something off about the way he spoke. It wasn’t that he was demanding, exactly—but it felt as if he saw the house-elves as no more than servants. It was a subtle thing, but Remus could sense it—something in the cadence of Sirius’s words, the casualness with which he made requests. It left a sour taste in Remus’s mouth, reminding him of how Sirius could be so different from his family in some ways but still possess some of their traits and behaviours.
The house-elf seemed unbothered by Sirius’s manner, and about fifteen minutes later, the two of them emerged from the kitchens, arms laden with a staggering pile of food. They made their way back to the dormitory, where James and Peter were waiting eagerly. As the door swung open, James’s eyes lit up with excitement. “Bloody hell, look at that!” he exclaimed, rushing over to help them unload the hoard of treats. Cakes, cookies, slices of pie—everything a hungry student could dream of.
Peter, already peering into one of the jugs, gave a skeptical frown. “Did you get pumpkin juice for the fire whisky?” he asked, his voice hopeful as he looked at the bright orange liquid. Sirius recoiled with an exaggerated grimace, shaking his head. “Absolutely not. That stuff’s revolting,” he said with such distaste that even James winced. “No, I got orange juice instead. Much more civilized.” James laughed, ruffling Sirius’s hair in mock exasperation.
"Is that the alcohol?" Remus asked, raising an eyebrow as he approached James’s bed, where a bottle and a few cans were scattered across the blankets. "Yep," James said with a grin, eyeing the stash eagerly. "Should get us pretty pissed." Remus hesitated, his skepticism creeping in. "Have any of you actually drunk alcohol before?" His tone was cautious; he knew he hadn't, and wasn't sure how to feel about the idea of diving into it now. Peter was the first to respond, a little sheepishly. "Well... earlier this year, for my birthday, we found some wine in my mum’s pantry. We got incredibly drunk off it," he said, a nervous laugh escaping him. Sirius chuckled at the memory. "Yeah, my mother was livid," he added, cracking open one of the beers and taking a long gulp.
A few moments later, a knock echoed through the dorm. “I’ll get it!” James announced, leaping off his bed with unrestrained enthusiasm. He swung open the door, and in trooped the girls, casting curious glances around the room as they entered. Remus, trying not to look too embarrassed, couldn’t help but notice how much tidier the room suddenly seemed—thanks to the frantic, last-minute scrambling of the boys. He hated to admit it, but it seemed like it took the presence of actual women to motivate them to clean up.
Alanza wasted no time, heading straight for Peter. She wrapped her arms around him, showering him with kisses, while the other girls moved more cautiously around the room, taking in the unfamiliar space with quiet curiosity. “It’s not much bigger than ours,” Marlene whispered to Mary, glancing around with a critical eye. “Yeah, it’s the same layout too,” Mary replied, peering into the bathroom with a raised eyebrow as if she were inspecting every detail.
Lily, however, walked over to where Remus was standing, her smile warm and friendly. “So, which one’s yours then?” she asked, glancing around at the beds. Remus turned around and pointed to the one behind him. “That one,” he replied, a little uncertain of how this was all going to unfold. Without missing a beat, Lily walked over to the bed and flopped down onto it, making herself at home as if she’d done so a hundred times before. “It’s nice,” she said with a soft giggle, her eyes lighting up. Remus rolled his eyes, a small smile tugging at his lips.
"Alright, where’s the alcohol then?" Marlene asked, finally done with her cautious tour of the room, curiosity piqued. Sirius grinned, gesturing toward the bed where the stash was spread out. "Over here," he said, and everyone made their way over, eager to see what they were working with. Mary squinted at one of the cans, her brow furrowing in confusion. "Is that Muggle beer?" she asked, eyeing it with confusion. It was only when she mentioned it that Remus realised, with a jolt, that yes, it was indeed Muggle alcohol. One he recognized from his mother’s occasional indulgence. "Yeah, the twins swear it’s better than wizarding beer," James said with a casual shrug, picking up a can and inspecting it.
“Ooh, my older brother’s had these before,” Marlene said excitedly, grabbing a can for herself. “He showed me something called a ‘shotgun’ once.”
“What’s that?” Sirius asked, intrigued. With a swift motion, Marlene pulled out her pocket knife, stabbing a hole in the side of the can before popping it open at the top. She positioned the can to her mouth, and with a flourish, began drinking from the hole, downing the entire can in one go.
The room went silent for a moment, and then everyone was staring, wide-eyed. "Bloody hell," James muttered under his breath. The others, eager to try, immediately followed suit, passing the knife around. Remus, however, didn’t have the same success. As soon as he tried to drink from the hole, he spluttered, spilling most of the beer down his front. The taste hit him like a brick—a bitter, foul concoction that made his stomach churn. He grimaced, wiping his mouth, and tried not to think about how much worse wizarding beer might be. James, Sirius, and Peter weren’t much more successful. By the grimaces on their faces, it was clear they weren’t exactly enjoying the drink either.
“Maybe the firewhisky will be better,” Peter coughed, still recovering from the assault of the beer, his face scrunched in distaste. Sirius shot him a grin, unfazed. “I’m sure it will be, especially once we mix it with the orange juice,” he said, reaching for the jug he’d brought from the kitchens. Remus, glancing around for something to drink from, pulled out his wand with a sigh. “I’ll conjure us some cups,” he said. With a flick of his wrist and a quiet incantation, he transfigured some spare parchment paper into cups, Lily assisting by holding them steady as they took shape.
They walked back to the others, cups in hand, and began passing them around, each of them eyeing the bottle of firewhisky with a mix of excitement and hesitation. "Alright, how much of this should I put in each cup?" Sirius asked, holding up the bottle with an unsure frown. "I think I should do it," Lily suggested. She reached out, taking the bottle from Sirius with a steady hand. "I feel like I’ll be the most responsible one here."
Her declaration was met with zero objections. The others merely shrugged or grinned, too eager to argue. Lily moved around the circle, carefully pouring a modest amount of fire whisky into each cup, then topping it off with orange juice, the mix of the two giving the air an odd, tangy scent.
"I think we should dedicate this drink to Sirius," James declared, raising his cup high with a grin. Remus followed suit, lifting his own cup into the air alongside the rest of the group. "To Sirius!" James called, his voice loud and full of enthusiasm. Remus glanced over at Sirius, who, to his surprise, looked a bit sheepish. It was as though he was trying to hide the fact that he was secretly pleased by all the attention. But as the others shouted in unison, “To Sirius!” his smile grew wider, and he tilted his head back, downing the entire drink in one swift motion. “Now,” Sirius said, his eyes locking onto Remus’s with a mischievous glint. “What do you think? Should we get properly pissed?”
Remus didn’t hesitate. “Absolutely.”
And everyone did get pissed. The firewhisky went down far smoother than the beer, the orange juice masking the sharp bite of the alcohol. Laughter and easy conversation filled the room as the effects of the drink settled in. Peter had started the record player, and soon the sounds of The Who filtered through the air, the music a faint backdrop to the chatter that bounced around the dorm. People’s voices grew louder, more animated, blending with the rhythm of the music, and for a moment, it felt like the world outside of their little circle didn’t matter at all.
Remus stood off to one side, casually leaning against the wall, his attention caught by the lively debate between Marlene and Sirius about Quidditch. It was a topic that normally bored him to tears, but with a little alcohol and a lot of playful shit-talking, it suddenly seemed much more entertaining. If he was being completely honest, though, the conversation was mostly just gossip—ninety percent of it, at least. And that was probably why he found it so captivating. The mix of exaggerated drama and insider information made it impossible to tune out.
Marlene was mid-sentence, dramatically explaining the latest cheating scandal between the Ravenclaw chasers, when Lily appeared at Remus’s side, her expression tinged with annoyance. "What’s up?" Remus asked, sidestepping Marlene and Sirius to walk over to her. Lily lowered her voice, speaking with a mixture of frustration and exhaustion. “James has been flirting with me this entire time, and I need a fucking break.”
Remus glanced over, noticing James casually looking in their direction every so often whilst he chatted with Peter. He raised an eyebrow. "Is it worse than usual?"
"Gods, yes," Lily groaned, her eyes rolling as she turned to look at James. He, of course, caught the glance, and waved enthusiastically, completely oblivious. Remus couldn’t help but chuckle, waving back at James with a mischievous grin. Meanwhile, Lily grimaced, clearly exasperated, and quickly turned back around.
Lily’s gaze landed on Remus’s almost full cup, and she didn’t hesitate. “Give me that,” she demanded, holding out her hand. “What? I thought you weren’t drinking?” Remus asked, puzzled by her sudden interest in his drink. “I’m going to need it if I’m going to survive the rest of tonight,” she replied, snatching the cup from his hand. Without further hesitation, she took a few large gulps. Remus couldn’t help but laugh in delight, and soon Lily joined him, her giggles bubbling up after she swallowed.
"This stuff is truly awful," she said, grimacing at the taste, though she quickly finished off the rest of the cup as if it were nothing. Remus raised an eyebrow, still grinning. "Am I going to have to look after you now?" Lily gave him a teasing smile, handing the empty cup back to him. “Potentially.”
"Remus!" Sirius shouted, practically leaping over to him and throwing an arm around his shoulder. "Can we smoke the weed now?" His excitement was palpable, like a kid waiting for a treat. Remus couldn’t suppress a smirk. "I think that can be arranged," he said, turning toward his trunk where he’d stashed the supply. He pulled out the bag and gave it a small shake before walking back to the group.
"Alright," Remus began, eyeing each of them, "who here has smoked before?" The response was a series of blank stares, and Remus couldn’t help but laugh. "Ok, then. I think we should start slow—share a couple joints around to ease into it," he suggested, pulling three neatly rolled joints from the bag and holding them up.
Remus handed one joint to Sirius and another to Mary. "So, uh, how do we do this?" Sirius asked, his usual confidence wavering slightly now that he had the joint in his hand, unsure of what to do. Remus chuckled, taking his own joint and holding it up. "Alright, so you light it with your wand first," he explained, demonstrating the motion with a flick. "Then you just suck in, deep enough so the smoke reaches your lungs." He took a smooth drag, exhaling slowly to show them how it was done. Sirius and Mary followed suit, but it wasn’t long before both of them burst into coughing fits.
"You’re going to want to hold the smoke in your lungs, then breathe it out slowly," Remus explained, recalling the tips Barty and Evan had shared with him. He took another slow drag, demonstrating the technique. Sirius, after a brief recovery, tried again. This time, he managed to take the full puff without coughing, his face lighting up in delight. He grinned, instantly going in for another drag before passing it over to James with a triumphant look. Mary, on the other hand, was still struggling. She barely managed to get any smoke into her lungs before doubling over, coughing violently. She wiped her eyes, trying to catch her breath, her face flushed from the effort.
“I can’t do it, Remus,” Mary said, her voice tinged with disappointment as she stared down at her joint, clearly frustrated. Remus watched her for a few moments, trying to think of a way to help, when something Barty had said suddenly came to mind. Back when he had first smoked with Barty and Evan, Barty had mentioned how terrible he was at smoking weed when he first did it—so bad, in fact, that the person he was with had to blow the smoke directly into his mouth to help him get high. Remus had laughed at the time, but now... it didn’t seem like such a bad idea.
"Would you be okay with me blowing the smoke into your mouth?" Remus asked with a casual shrug, though the moment the words left his mouth, he realised how intimate it sounded. He’d have to be pretty close to her, nearly at the point of kissing her. He almost regretted suggesting it, but before he could take it back, Mary’s face lit up, her eyes sparkling with excitement. "Ooh, yes, that sounds fun!" she said, her giggle infectious as she nodded eagerly.
Remus suddenly found himself very thankful for the alcohol coursing through his veins, because sober, he wasn’t sure he would have been willing to get this close to Mary. He cleared his throat, trying to shake off the awkwardness. "Alright then," he said, his voice a little steadier than he felt. He moved closer to her, taking a slow drag of his own joint. When he noticed how hesitant she looked, he gently lifted her chin to get a better angle. With a small exhale, he leaned down, blowing the smoke softly into her open mouth.
Mary managed to inhale and exhale the smoke without coughing this time, and to Remus's surprise, she looked genuinely pleased by the whole thing—her cheeks even flushed slightly, a faint pink tint creeping up her neck. As Remus straightened up, he was met with a chorus of wide-eyed stares from the group. They all seemed frozen, mouths agape. “What the fuck was that?” Marlene asked, her voice tinged with confusion as she looked between the two of them. Remus gave a casual shrug, trying to play it cool. “I was just trying to help with the coughing,” he explained nonchalantly, though in the back of his mind, he was grateful for the alcohol. If he were sober, he had a feeling he'd be much more embarrassed by the whole situation.
Marlene still looked skeptical but shrugged it off, taking Remus’s joint from his hand instead. James and Sirius were still staring at them, eyes wide in disbelief, while Mary just rolled her eyes and took another drag from her own joint, this time managing it much more smoothly. Remus turned to look at Lily, and found that she was watching the whole situation with a smirk, her amusement clear. She took another sip from her cup, which Remus assumed was filled with more alcohol.
“Did you know that Muggles call that a shotgun, too?” Lily said casually, as if the conversation were about the weather. Remus blinked in surprise. “How did you know that?” he asked, genuinely curious. Lily simply shrugged and flashed him another smirk. Sirius, looking somewhat put out, suddenly piped up. “Wait, that’s not fair. Why didn’t you shotgun me, Remus?” Now it was Remus’s turn to choke, coughing as the words caught in his throat. “I didn’t know you wanted me to,” he spluttered, still trying to wrap his head around the question. “I didn’t know it was an option,” Sirius replied, still sporting a slight frown, his tone oddly serious despite the playful atmosphere.
Lily looked even more amused now, trying to hide her laughter behind her cup, while James appeared just as confused as Remus felt. He was looking over at Sirius with a furrowed brow, clearly trying to make sense of the situation. The others weren’t paying attention, busy helping Peter with one of the joints, leaving Remus and Sirius in a sort of awkward silence. “Would you like me to now?” Remus asked carefully, suddenly feeling a lot more nervous than he had with Mary. He wasn’t sure what had changed, but something about this moment felt different. Before Sirius could respond however, Mary suddenly bounded back into the conversation, her eyes sparkling with excitement. “We should play a drinking game!” she suggested enthusiastically, looking between the four of them like she had just come up with the best idea of the night.
“Yes, let’s do that,” Remus said quickly, not entirely sure why he was feeling so nervous about the whole situation. He shot a quick glance at Sirius, who looked a little disappointed but agreed easily enough. Once everyone had settled into a circle on the floor, Mary, her eyes alight with excitement, began to explain the rules of the game.
“So, in this game,” she started, “you’re going to whisper a sentence to the person on your left.” She glanced around the circle, making sure everyone was paying attention. “The sentence can either be innocent or dirty. Everyone else has to guess which one it is, based on the reaction of the person you’re whispering to.” She paused dramatically, clearly enjoying the suspense. “If the majority gets it right, the person you whispered to has to drink. But, if the majority is wrong, then the person who was whispered too gets to choose someone else to drink.” She looked around at them all with an eager grin. “Everyone got it?”
Remus nodded along with the others. It sounded like a fun game, and he was curious to see how it would play out. Mary went first, leaning in to whisper into Peter’s ear, who was seated on her left. The moment the sentence left her lips, Peter’s face turned an unmistakable shade of bright red, making it painfully obvious. “Oh, Peter, you’re not subtle at all,” Lily said, amusement dancing in her voice. A couple of other people chuckled too, while Alanza sat off to the side, her expression more annoyed than entertained.
“Right, well, it’s obviously dirty,” Remus said with a smirk, and a ripple of agreement ran through the group. “Looks like you have to drink, Peter,” Mary said, beaming with satisfaction. Peter only turned redder at the sound of his defeat, and with a reluctant sigh, he grabbed his cup and downed the contents, his face a mixture of embarrassment and resignation as everyone laughed.
Peter went next, followed by Alanza and then Lily. The group was laughing and getting into the rhythm of the game when it was finally Sirius’s turn. He turned to face Remus, flashing a quick smirk before leaning in a little closer. Remus’s heart skipped a beat, and before Sirius even whispered in his ear, he felt a flush creeping up his neck. As Sirius drew nearer, Remus could feel his breath against his ear, sending a shiver down his spine. There was a brief pause before Sirius whispered his sentence. “You’re almost as red as Peter was,” he said, and Remus could hear the smirk in his voice, “and I haven’t even said anything dirty yet.”
The comment hit Remus like a wave, and he felt himself blushing deeper, cursing inwardly. Sirius’s words, and the way he had said them, seemed to make his heart race even more. Trying to hide his flustered state, Remus forced himself to tune back into the conversation, but it was harder now, his thoughts distracted by the lingering warmth of Sirius’s breath and the smirk that Remus knew was still lingering on his face.
“Well, it’s obvious Sirius said something dirty if Remus is blushing like that,” Marlene teased, and to Remus’s dismay, everyone else quickly agreed with her. He immediately ducked his face into his drink, trying to hide the flush creeping up his neck. As if on cue, Sirius leaned over, his voice dripping with smugness. “Remus, who do you want to pick to drink?” Remus winced as the group erupted into laughter, everyone teasing him and accusing Sirius of lying. “Have you considered that maybe I’m just a really good actor?” Remus muttered lamely, his face still burning. He could hear Sirius snort beside him, clearly entertained by his discomfort.
Determined to get back at him, Remus pointed at Sirius with a grin. “Alright, you can be the one to drink then,” he said, filling Sirius’s cup with more fire whiskey then he probably should have. The others laughed again as Sirius groaned in mock outrage and grabbed his drink, downing it as payback. Remus, feeling a bit better, turned to James to figure out his next move.
Remus couldn't help the sly grin that tugged at the corners of his mouth as he came up with a sentence. "Alright, James," he murmured, his voice low, the playful glint in his eyes unmistakable. "Come here." James, curious but wary, leaned in closer, his face just inches from Remus's. Without warning, Remus cupped his hand to James's ear, his breath sending a shiver down James's spine as he whispered his sentence. “I want to get down on my knees and slowly lick a line all the way up your…”
"Remus!" James yelped, his eyes going wide as he jumped back, a blush spreading across his cheeks. He stumbled backward, looking utterly taken aback. "How did you even come up with that?" His voice was half-exasperated, half-amused. Remus's smirk deepened, a shrug of nonchalance following. He’d read a fair number of books—some more... colorful than others—and perhaps some of those had left an impression he wasn’t quite ready to admit.
"What did he say?" Sirius and Mary asked in unison, leaning forward with identical expressions of curiosity and anticipation. The rest of the group followed suit, their eyes burning with intrigue. James, still blushing but now grinning despite himself, raised a hand to halt the inevitable. "I am not repeating that," he declared, his voice almost a laugh now. Remus chuckled, shaking his head, thoroughly entertained by the whole situation. "You didn’t even let me finish," he teased. His eyes sparkled with mischief.
"Are you seriously not going to tell us?" Lily asked, her tone a perfect mix of disbelief, disappointment, and just the right hint of amusement. "Nope," Remus replied, his smirk widening, clearly enjoying the chaos he’d caused. Several members tried to persuade Remus with exaggerated pleas and desperate bargaining, but he wasn’t having it. James, still flushed but now amused by the entire spectacle, took a long sip from his drink for his loss, his eyes darting between his friends and Remus. Eventually everyone moved on and the game continued.
The game eventually wound to a close, the laughter and teasing slowly tapering off as the group’s energy began to dwindle. By this point, everyone was well past tipsy, leaning more toward being thoroughly intoxicated. The room was filled with a haze of alcohol-induced warmth and the occasional loud burst of laughter. Sirius wasn’t impressed by the effects of the weed so Remus said that it might be better to smoke it on a separate occasion so that they would be able to feel the symptoms properly.
The rest of the night had been a whirlwind of laughter, music, and the warm buzz of inebriation. Everyone had seemed to fall into their own pockets of merriment—until, of course, Alanza and Peter had mysteriously vanished into a dimly lit corner. The others exchanged amused glances when they noticed the muffled arguments and the occasional, unmistakable sound of frantic snogging. It was… awkward, to say the least, but no one paid them much attention.
Then, the night really started to take a turn. Sirius, who had been his usual charismatic self, suddenly seemed off. His face went pale, and his once-lively eyes dulled with discomfort. Before anyone could ask if he was alright, he bolted from his bed, clutching his stomach with a grimace. "James!" he groaned, stumbling towards the bathroom door. "I think I’m gonna die." James, looking alarmed but too drunk to react with anything but his usual sense of duty, followed him into the bathroom.
The mood took an even sharper dip when, not long after Sirius's sudden exit, Mary also began to feel unwell. Her face had gone the color of a sheet, and she was clutching her stomach as well, groaning in discomfort. Marlene, ever the reliable friend, was quick to step in. "C'mon, Mary," she said, her voice soft but firm, helping her friend to her feet. "Let’s get you back to the dormitory. You’ll feel better after some sleep."
Ten minutes had passed and Remus and Lily were sprawled across his bed, their laughter echoing through the stillness as they recounted a particularly ridiculous moment from earlier in the night. "And then," Lily gasped between fits of laughter, "he had the audacity to ask if the reason I don’t have a boyfriend is because I’m subconsciously waiting for him—like, how stupid is that?" Remus nearly doubled over in laughter at the thought of James—ever the clueless romantic—drawing such a bizarre conclusion. He wiped tears from his eyes at the absurdity of the situation.
Lily's laughter had died down, but the frustration was still evident in her voice. "Seriously, I can’t even… I mean, the audacity." Remus, struggling to catch his breath, finally managed to compose himself enough to speak. "Merlin, he’s unique, isn’t he?" Lily groaned, rolling her eyes, but couldn’t suppress the reluctant grin tugging at her lips. "Hmm, that’s one word for it," she muttered, sounding more amused than she let on. For a moment, they both fell silent, the laughter lingering in the air like an echo. There was a brief pause which was interrupted by Peter telling them that he was going to sneak Alanza back to her house with the cloak.
The minute Peter left Lily’s eyes twinkled with mischief, and she turned to face Remus, her curiosity bubbling to the surface. "Are you going to tell me what you said to James now?" Her voice was light, teasing, clearly eager to know what had sent James into such a flustered spiral. Remus arched an eyebrow, a playful smirk tugging at his lips as he shifted his position to face her more fully. "Are you sure you want to know?" he asked, his tone heavy with mock suspense. Lily didn't hesitate. "Umm, of course I want to know! It must have been bad with the way he reacted," she explained, her eyes narrowing slightly as she mirrored his position, her gaze locking onto his.
Remus let out a low chuckle, clearly enjoying the game. He leaned in closer, as though about to divulge a deep, scandalous secret, his voice dropping to a conspiratorial whisper. "Alright, I’ll tell you," he said with a grin, knowing full well the effect it would have. “I said ‘I want to get on my knees and slowly lick a line all the way up your dick’.” As the words left his mouth, Lily’s expression morphed from curiosity to absolute disbelief, and before he knew it, she was doubled over in laughter, her hand clutching her stomach as she rolled onto her back. Her laughter echoed through the room, so uncontrollable that it made Remus laugh along with her.
"Merlin, Remus, that's insane!" Lily gasped between fits of laughter, her voice breathless from the hilarity of it all. "He freaked out before I could even get to the dick part," Remus revealed, the words making him laugh even harder. Lily’s laughter only intensified, the absurdity of it all hitting her in waves. "I can’t believe you said that to him! No wonder he was freaking out!"
After they both calmed down Lily turned over to face Remus again. “This was fun, Remus. Thank you for forcing me to come,” Lily said with a smile, the weariness of the night finally catching up to her but not dulling the warmth in her eyes. Remus couldn’t help but smile back. “I’m glad I forced you to come too,” Remus replied, his voice sincere. Eventually, Lily made her way back to her own dormitory, and the night grew quieter. Peter returned shortly after, his movements a bit slower as he made his way into the room, clearly feeling the effects of the evening's festivities.
“Did you have a good time tonight?” Remus asked him as he fumbled with his pyjamas, the room spinning just enough to make the task feel more challenging than usual. “Yeah, it was a lot of fun,” Peter replied, his voice bright and carefree. But just as quickly, his mood shifted, a slight frown flickering across his face. "Well, it was fun... when Alanza wasn’t arguing with me,” he added, sounding slightly put off. His shoulders slumped as he pulled off his clothes and began to get ready for bed.
“Are you guys good now?” Remus asked quietly as he slid into bed, the weight of the evening settling over him. James and Sirius were still in the bathroom, their voices muffled beyond the door. “Yeah, I think so,” Peter replied from his own bed, his voice still holding a trace of frustration. “But that could change tomorrow.” Remus sighed softly, staring up at the ceiling. He had no doubt that things between Peter and Alanza weren’t as simple as they appeared. But he couldn’t bring himself to give an easy answer, not when he wasn’t sure of the situation himself. “I’m sure you two will figure it out,” he said, though his tone was more uncertain than he had intended. Peter didn’t offer much in response, just a soft grunt as he turned away and pulled the drapes around his bed with a quick tug, closing himself off from the rest of the room.
A few seconds later, the bathroom door creaked open, and a drunk James and Sirius stumbled out. Sirius let out a dramatic groan, his voice muffled by the pillow he buried his face into as he flopped down onto his bed. "I’m never drinking again!" he moaned, words slurred and exaggerated. James, rubbing his eyes with the back of his hand to stave off the exhaustion creeping in, shuffled toward his bed. "Yeah, I give you three months," he muttered under his breath, his voice tinged with the playful sarcasm they were all so accustomed to. With a final yawn, he tugged the drapes shut around his bed, the soft rustle of fabric punctuating the otherwise still night.
Remus watched them in silence, his thoughts drifting as he turned to face Sirius, who was still sprawled out on his bed. He studied the rise and fall of Sirius’s back with a quiet intensity, the steady rhythm almost calming after the chaotic turn of events earlier in the night. The room was filled with a soft, hazy quiet—like the calm after a storm, the energy slowly dying down. It had been a good night. A wild, messy one, but good. Remus smiled to himself, the thought lingering in his mind. He didn’t need things to be perfect. Just moments like this, where everyone felt a little more alive, a little more connected.