Sometimes Barty thinks that the people in their generation had to grow up way to fast. They had to make decisions about what their wlrld should look like when others before them were still only thinking about their school yard crushes and N.E.W.T. preperations. Yet here he stands- just barely 17, barely an adult, a black hood thrown over his shaggy dirty-blonde hair and an ugly skull mask covering his face- in the middle of the ministry hidden in the shadows like all the other death eaters.
"Don't breathe in" a whisper from right next to him, a squeeze to his right hand.
They can see the purple noxious smoke creep along the floor, billowing into clouds as they start to envelop the ministry workers that just arrived for their shift, without them even noticing.
Maybe his father is one of them.
They wait for their sign. Evan is still clutching his hand, holding him back, until it's save, until they get the sign from Macnair.
One by one the ministry workers start to stagger, bump into each other.
It's save to move then, is what Regulus had told them at the meeting, thats when they should get the go.
But nothing.
Eerie silence except for some chocking noises settles in the big opulent hall.
Nobody dares to move. Barty wants to, it's time, he knows it.
He can see others like Phineas Nott, Charles Flint and the likes move out of their hiding spots, pulling down disillusionment spells until they are fully noticeable again.
Barty feels like he will vibrate out of his skin if he doesn't get to move, his tounge twitches against his lips with nervous energy
It's just a second later when all goes to shit.
They were told the Aurors would be out and distracted by a secondary event, much less important but just as explosive. Just the right thing to have all Aurors leave the ministry behind.
But right in front of him the hall fills with law enforcers, clad in their dragonhide uniforms and-...and masks on top of their face keeping the potion smoke away from nose and mouth.
Slowly Barty beginns to move towards the fastly evolving battlefield in disbelief.
Regulus promised they would be save. He promised.
Red and green light paint the air like muggle fireworks, the air is charged with magical energy.
Then without hesitating Evan, who must have recovered faster from his shock, grabs his hand again and pulled.
Then they both start running.
They have to get to the floo, they have to...they have to get out of here. Evan and Barty must have already been spotted by the officials though. It feels like there is no place to go for them as they barely avoid the green light of a curse and the whites slash of an incarcerous.
We won't get out of here, we will die here, he thinks as he shoots curses back towards their assailants.
Maybe, Barty thinks, he is a hypocrite for being scared right now, for Evan, for himself, when they were the ones who started this attack. But he cannot help himself as they frantically defend themselves.
At least we will die together...
Evan is an amazing duelist and Barty can hold his own just as well. This shouldn't be a problem.
However, they were sent here as a small little force, while all the others are away on the distraction mission.
They are just 6. Just Macnair, Nott, Flint, Bulstrode, Evan and Barty himself.
There are at least a dozen aurors here.
This is not how it was supposed to go.
They keep on running aimlessly, they keep on running in endless circles. It starts to feel endless, pointless.
When suddenly and out of breathe Evan says "Barty, get out of here."
He almost stumbles. Almost makes both of them tumble towards the hard marble floor.
"Are you stupid Rosier, I am not leaving you."
Barty laughs, like Evan is stupid to even suggest it. How could he ever leave without him?
"I have a much better chance surviving this if I don't have to cover your back, Bee.
Get out of here, get help, tell the others."
There is desperation clinging to his words, Barty can hear it in the way his voice trembles, can see it in the slashing wand movements that are normally so controlled and beautifull
"Ev, don't-"
"Barty, can you listen to what I say just once in your fucking life!? I need you to leave. Save yourself and don't look back!"
For one last time Barty looks into his boyfriend's ice blue eyes, cold and determined but filled with so much love at the same time.
Oh if he had just known that it would be the last time he would see them, the last time he could feel the warm calloused pads of his fingers grace his own hand gently.
It's the vicious attack of 3 Aurors that breaks of their little private moment in the middle of the battlefield. Its then when Evan repells Barty with a pulse of his magic, that catapults him far away close enough to reach the floo network without the aurors being able to cut of his escape route.
The aurors, Alastor Moody and Frank and Alice Longbottom -who Barty still knows from quidditch matches and interhouse study sessions, people that he would have once considered to be somewhat nice and likeable. Now all he can see is the way their wands are raised and pointed towards Evan, who really is one of, if not the best duelist of their generation, who throws a vicious cutting curse at the oldest and most renowned of the group, making blood splatter as his nose falls to the ground.
Barty almost runs back towards them, to help Evan so they can get out of here together. And maybe if he had still been there, maybe if he were just a bit faster or a better wizard-whatever the fuck- maybe then Alice wouldn't have been able to throw a curse at Evan's leg making him tumble towards the floor as Frank's nonverbal Expelliarmus snatched his beautiful ebony wand from his outstretched hand.
Maybe then fucking Alastor Moody wouldn't have thrown an Avada Kedavra at him.
It's as if somebody cut the strings of a puppet when Evan falls without grace. His face clashes with the cheek against the hard floor, his empty eyes, look at Barty sightlessly.
Somebody is screaming. His throat suddenly feels raw and in pain, his cheeks wet as his vision blurrs.
His heart is ripped apart, into shreds, burned to ash.
Barty wants to run. Run towards the love of his life, his soulmate, his forever.
But he is pulled back, maybe Flint or Nott, one of them who was able to escape.
No, no, no NO,NO! Not without Evan, he wants to scream as his boneless body is being pulled towards the floo.
He can almost hear Evan's voice, the way he would always just know when he lost himself in his thoughts.
'Hey, Barty, what's on your mind'
I think about my life without you and it makes me want to die, Ev.
'Hey it's alright he would always say, 'I love you and I'll never leave your side'
Oh what a lie that was! They should have just started running, should have just run away when they still both could.
But instead they had just been running in circles, not a step forward with no place to go.
They should have not looked back to all the could haves, would haves.
They should have just saved themselves.
Now nothing even mattered anymore.
Evan is dead and Barty filled with the same intense burning anger will keep and keep on running in circles until his fire burns out.
And years after that when he took revenge for the one person that mattered most, after he had lost himself.
He keeps running until he is finally able to sink into the cooling embrace of ice blue eyes and warm arms again.