Rapid footsteps were heard outside, followed by a hurried rapping of knuckles against the door; the sound breaking the stillness that had comfortably settled itself in the room.
You raised your head in alarm, nearly dropping the book you were holding, and perching your mug atop the coffee table. Standing up abruptly, you made your way to the door, the floorboards creaking beneath your weight and harmonizing with the nerves clawing at your skin.
“Who’s there?”
You ask quite defensively, thick pulses of air escaping your mouth— ragged breathing reflecting on your chest that heaved harshly.
“I—it’s me. Please, let me in,”
His voice was filled with hurt, and you felt your brows etching together in worry. Pulling your lips taut, you breathed, “Sirius..?”
You were met with his pained expression as you cautiously pulled open the door; his long, usually neatly tousled hair, was matted against his forehead. His jacket hung loosely on his shoulders, unzipped— and he looked more disheveled than he would ever will himself to be.
Words were caught in your throat, as you stared at his face that was bubbling with emotion, his eyes shiny with unshed tears. Without a second thought, you pulled him into your embrace, hand going straight to his back like it was second nature.
You gently closed the door with your foot as Sirius clung to you desperately, seemingly wanting to keep himself grounded as he let a sob force its way out of his mouth.
His touch burned you, making your heart skip beats as he clutched at your shirt, out of breath and hurting. His pain was raw and palpable, and you could feel the weight of it seep into your own chest, a knot tightening there that you couldn’t quite untangle.
“I.. I left home,”
He mumbled against your chest, his voice muffled as he looked up at you through red-rimmed eyes, his words stumbling over one another like broken pieces of something too fragile to hold.
“Regulus. I convinced him to come with, but..” he hiccupped, his body trembling with a pain that went beyond words, “He’s far too gone.”
He smiled bitterly, eyes darting from one of your features to another, as if searching for something to anchor him. He fidgeted with his hands on your back, unable to still himself.
You nodded, your heart aching for him, urging him to speak, to let it all out— to unload the burden he’d been carrying alone for so long. You were there, all of you, to listen.
Slotting your palm against his cheek, you gazed into his face, soft and open now in a way he had never allowed to be shown to anyone else. His gray eyes fluttered, flickering with emotion, and you could almost hear the whispers of wounds that you know will take a while to heal. He tilted his face into your touch, and you felt an ache behind your ribs, the ache of something more— something you had never quite allowed yourself to understand until now.
“Oh, Sirius,” you cooed, your voice trembling with sorrow for the boy who had never quite known peace inside of his own family. You broke away from the hug gently, your fingers running through his hair, soothing him with the simple, tender gesture.
“It’s not your fault, love,” you murmured, your voice low, wrapping around him like a blanket of warmth, the words flowing with the kind of certainty you had always wished to offer him.
He blinks, and you feel a twinge of fondness racking through your body, settling at your stomach as you lead him to the plush couch in which you’ve previously sat.
“It’s not your fault that you couldn’t have saved your brother from your parent’s grasps. I’m sure he made his decision long ago. Regulus isn’t a child anymore, Sirius.”
He looked down, a sniffle escaping him as he leaned his head against your shoulder, his breath shallow and uneven. The silence between you felt like a conversation in itself, a heavy, thoughtful kind of stillness that enveloped the room.
His body shook with the force of his emotions, the weight of the years pressing down on him, and it seemed as though all the walls he had built around himself were crumbling. His usual cocky, defiant demeanor had faded, leaving behind something softer, more human. And still, he tried to form coherent thoughts, words slipping from him like water through a cracked vessel.
“I know.. It’s just that he’s my little brother. I loved him.” His voice cracked, and the words tumbled from his lips with an agonizing rawness. “I love him.”
You sighed, your hand finding his, holding it with gentle reassurance. You rubbed his shoulder in slow strokes, your own heart pulsing with a rhythm that mirrored his own tremors.
“You did your part, Pads.” You said softly, your voice like a quiet lullaby meant to soothe. “You gave him everything you could. He knows that, deep down.”
His body relaxed a fraction, his sobs turning into quiet, shuddering breaths, and you could feel his tension ease, if only for a moment.
You let the quiet settle around the two of you, his head resting on your shoulder as you both sank into the cushions. You could feel the warmth of him beside you, the weight of him grounding you in ways you couldn’t explain.
“I know you’re tired, Sirius,” you murmured, pulling him closer, your hand tracing circles on his back. “You’ve been carrying this for far too long. Rest.”
“Can I stay at your place for a while? Just until I find somewhere. Please.” He spoke after a moment, voice small, fragile, and breaking something deep inside you.
“As long as you wish, Sirius.” You whispered back, tucking a stray piece of hair behind his ear. His lips curved upwards, slow and weary, as the tension in his body finally began to give way to the exhaustion that had been creeping up on him for days.
You watched him closely, the peace settling over him like a delicate, fleeting thing. His eyes fluttered shut, and you pressed your lips to his temple, a soft, lingering kiss— one filled with all the affection you had for him.
Even just for a night, the world outside would cease to exist. There was only the two of you—the quiet, steady rhythm of your breathing and the warmth of his body against yours. The chaos of the world could wait. Right now, Sirius needed peace. And as you held him, as you cradled him in your arms, you realized that maybe, just maybe, he would find it here, in this moment.
“Oh, how Regulus had grown up without you.”