He looked back but James was aready running. He waited one more second but nothing happened so he started running after him. They ran the whole way to James's house, well Regulus lived there too now but it felt weird to think of it like that.
When they reached the fence to the garden James stoped and Regulus ran right into him. James turned around to face him and they just stod like that for a while, staring at eachother. Then James grabbed Regulus's face in both his hands and kissed him.
It wasn't a very deep kiss but it was still wonderful and Regulus was filled with a undiscribable feeling of happiness that he'd never felt before. He didn't know if it was because he'd never been happy before or because that feeling just was James. But he kissed him back and when James let go of his face he just stood there and adored his face for a while.
This wasn't their first kiss, they'd done this for the majority of the summer and it was in the middle of august now so it had been a while, but for every time James touched him or looked at him with those big brown eyes Regulus felt happier than the last time.
At last he forsed himself to stop looking at him and started walking towards the door and forced away the flush on his cheeks. Sirius couldn't know, he just thought James and Regulus was becoming friends since they now lived with eachother. But if he did find out he would probably start hating Regulus again and he was tired of that.
Maybe it was selfish but he needed his brother and he couldn't risk Sirius hating him again for anything. Not even James even though he was pretty sure that he probably loved him.
He felt James following him to the door and cast one last fast look at him and opened the door to go inside. It was even warmer inside without the faint wind in the air to cool him but he didn't think much of it. He took of his shoes and went into the livingroom with James still behind him. Sirius and Remus was there in the sofa and a record was playing in the background but Regulus couldn't place who it was.
Remus was reading and Sirius was doing something with Remus's hair. They sat suspectetly close to eachother but when he thought about it were they always colse or touching in different ways. He didn't think to hard into it.
He sat down in one of the armchairs and James sat down in the sofa next to his friends. "How was your walk?" Asked Sirius but he sounded a bit weird when he said it, like it was something holding him back.
"It was good, we just went around the park for a while." James looked so honest when he said it, he was a too good liar. Regulus wonderd how much he'd trained that up.
Sirius looked at them a little weird for a second before he changed the subject and started talking about how Effie wanted help in the garden later.
Regulus wonderd if maybe Sirius had caught on to something. And then he wonderd what would happend if he did. And then he decided that it was endless possiblities for that and that it wasn't worth his time.
It was later that day when Regulus and Remus was repotting plants in the garden that Regulus got to know the truth.
"So how long have you and James had a thing then?" He asked and Regulus froze in the middle of putting more dirt in the pot.
"W... what?" He stammerd and Remus answerd "yeah, well we saw you kiss outside the house before."
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
This wasn't supposed to happend!!! He wasn't supposed to know!!! "Sirius saw??"
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
Why was this happening?
"Yeah"
No. No. No. No. No. No. No.
Suddenly he relised that he couldn't breath. He had dropped the dirt and was now sitting on the ground struggling to breath and rocking back and forth.
Then James was in front of him and he was saying something and then he started breathing really deep and when Regulus continued panicking James grabbed his hand and placed it over his chest. Regulus felt James's chest rise and fall under his hand and felt himself starting to match it.
After god knows how long he was breathing calmly again. James was still holding his hand over his chest but when Regulus looked up at him he released it. Then he looked up and saw Sirius and Remus and suddenly everything welled over again but this time it came out as sobs.
He cried and cried and when he was falling to the ground head first James was there to catch him and hold him.
They sat there on the ground meanwhile Regulus cried and when he stoped crying he stayed hidden in james's arms.
Then he felt a hand on his arm and heard Sirius saying his name. When he didn't respond Sirius tried again "Reg...Regulus, can you look at me. I'm not going to shout at you."
And so Regulus forced himself to look up. And when he did he saw Sirius sitting on his knees on the ground beside him.
"I'm not angry with you Regulus, i'm really not. Even though I wish you would have told me about it i'm not angry at you. I don't think i have the right to even be angry at you over this. And i am happy that you chose James."
Regulus didn't say anything at first.
He's not angry. He's not angry. He's not angry.
The relife welled over him and suddenly he was crying again. He tangeld himself free from James and reached over to hug Sirius. And when he did he could feel Sirius's entire body relaxing against him.
They sat like that for a while and he could feel James getting up, probably to give them some privacy but when they let go of eachother they could feel the smell off Effies cooking and decided to just go inside to eat.
Regulus went to the bathroom first to wash of the tears and mudd that covered both his hands and face and when he was done with that he went to the kitchen where the rest was already eating. He sat down and started eating Effies wonderful soup. They didn't talk about him and James that day.
When it was dark he could hear Sirius going to James's room and after a while he heard him going away again. After a couple of minutes he heard a weak knock on his door and when he opened it James was standing there.
He let him in without a word and when James had closed the door he cast a quick silencing charm. They both crawled into Regulus's bed and Regulus once again setteled into James's shoulder for comfort.
"I just talked to Sirius." He wispered even though they had a silencing charm. "He said he was happy for us, and he also said that he suported me if i was gay but i don't think i am."
At this Regulus looked up at James again. What did he mean he wasn't gay? Didn't he like Regulus? Was all this just a fun little game to him?
James saw the panic in Regulus eyes and continued "well i don't mean that i don't like guys but i just... well i've liked girls before. Like as well as guys but i've never thought of it like that before 'cause they're just people, you know."
Regulus was a little confused but decided that that was his problem and not James's so he answed "Well i don't really know 'cause i've only ever liked guys but i think that you can be atracted to more than one gender and i've never really understood why it's such a big differens anyways."
James looked at him like he had something he wanted to say but Regulus wasn't done yet. "I think that the thing that really matters are the people you care about and not what gender thay have."
The people that you love.
He wanted to say it but this didn't feel like the right time. James looked at him in silence for a couple of minutes and then he wispered the thing that Regulus was thinking. "I love you."
The happiness that he felt before was back but even stronger now. A big smile spread across his face and he wispered back "I love you too."
James's face had bearly formed a smile when his mouth crached together with Regulus's. The kiss was gentel at first but it didn't stay that way for long.
Soon it grew deeper and more passionate and Regulus could feel James's tounge in his mouth and their teeth knocking together.
Later when they were on the verge of sleep Regulus wisperd those words to James until they fell asleep in eachothers arms. "I love you. I love you. I love you."