Christmas
Sirius groaned, pulling the McKinnon boy’s hair as he did something truly wonderful with his tongue.
They were supposed to be on a mission, but how was Sirius expected to concentrate on war and death when the boy beside him stared at him with such lustful eyes. Matthew McKinnon was Marlene’s brother; she would kill Sirius if she found out he had let her big brother shag him in a dark alleyway in the midst of a patrol mission.
It was the best sex he’d had in a while; he told Matthew as much.
Matthew tried to kiss him, Sirius dodged his lips and laughed awkwardly. It hadn’t been awkward until now. He apologised and buckled up his belt, taking one last look at Sirius’ dick before pulling his trousers up from around his ankles.
What the fuck is wrong with you? Sirius thought as he trailed along behind Matthew.
He hadn’t kissed (or slept with) anyone since Edgar Bones’ death. It fucked him up. He and Edgar weren’t romantically interested in each other, but Sirius had let Edgar kiss him after they hooked up, it only happened once, but now Sirius couldn’t imagine anything worse than kissing someone. Because what if they died too? What if his kisses and his sinful lusting could kill people? So he refused Matthew McKinnon’s further advances and continued to drag his feet behind him, any euphoria he had gained from having sex was gone now. All he felt was shame.
“Uno!” Sirius laughed, placing down his second last card and looking across at Remus, who was wielding 24 cars in his hands. Remus groaned and started to demand that someone else shuffled the cards because it’s obvious that Sirius is cheating!
“You’re just a sore loser, Remus.” Lily chuckled, shaking her head when Remus continued to go on and on about how he was positive that Sirius was cheating, there is no other explanation for why he’s so good at this stupid game!
Sirius doesn’t even liked uno, but he loves watching Remus’ face go red with anger over the smallest and most insignificant things, especially whilst there’s an ongoing war. It makes Sirius feel like he’s back at Hogwarts, specifically it reminds him of being in the library and bugging Remus until he threw his book down on a desk and, angrily, agreed to do whatever Sirius had been begging him to do.
James and Marlene jumped through the door, laughing and all smiles. They were at Sirius and Remus’ flat, having a sleepover as a late celebration of Sirius’ nineteenth birthday. Sirius felt like he had to be a proper adult now, and that scared him. Eighteen was the practice year, but nineteen meant he actually had to be an adult. Remus had laughed when Sirius had told him his fears, and how could Sirius feel anything other than happiness when he was in the presence of such a wonderful laugh.
They all got drunk, Mary was the first to be sick- as per usual- and Remus remained the most sober, Sirius was almost positive that him being a werewolf meant it was harder for him to get properly drunk. Lily and James were giggly, kissing each other and being in love. Sirius was happy for them, though he did feel a bit jealous. He was sure he’d never be able to love someone that wholesomely. Because his love didn’t empower, it destroyed things.
He was a Black, after all, darkness consumed his whole family.
Peter left first, he had work in the morning and then patrol in the evening. Sirius waved him ‘goodbye’ from the window, screaming love you wormy! Mary was next to leave, she had smirked and said she was going to go and find Gideon again, it took Lily and Marlene almost half an hour to convince her to just go home because Gideon was out on a mission with Fabian, his twin brother. Then Lily and James left, courtesy of Lily’s tit accidentally slipping out of her top and James not being able to control his horny-self. James and Sirius hugged, kissed and whined as Remus and Lily pulled them apart, Lily whispered something in James’ ear which immediately made him let go and leave.
By 2.30am, it was just Sirius, Remus, Marlene and Dorcas left.
Sirius had forced Dorcas to come out and play a few hours ago and had purposefully sat Marlene down beside her on the floor. The two girls were talking, giggling, Marlene was twiddling her hair around her index finger and Dorcas was watching her lips move so intently that Sirius was almost concerned she might actually devour Marlene in front of them.
Not that he’d complain, Marlene and Dorcas were hot.
Remus leaned over and whispered in his ear, “We should leave them.”
Sirius grinned, nodding. He liked it when Remus indulged in his match-making efforts for Dorcas. Because he had tried before, one boy and two other girls whom Dorcas had refused. Sirius was thrilled that Marlene was a success.
He followed Remus back to his room, laughing to himself the whole way there because drunk Sirius found everything funny. Remus told him to turn around because he wanted to get changed, well what he actually said was Sirius piss off out of my room, I want to go to sleep, but Sirius decided that Remus secretly wanted him there, so he stayed. Remus didn’t protest again, and if Sirius’ eyes lingered on Remus’ chest, legs, arms, thighs or his dick-print for longer than what was necessary, that was between them.
Sirius and Peter were on a mission together, alongside a slightly older man called Dedalus Diggle. He was short and had blonde hair, not my type, Sirius said to Peter, who laughed at his friend’s stupid comment.
There were four Death Eaters versus three order members. Sirius recognised two out of four of their opponents: his cousin, Bellatrix Lestrange, and her husband, Rodolphus Lestrange. His brother had killed Edgar Bones and ruined Sirius’ love for kissing people. Surely Rodolphus wouldn’t mind paying for his little brother’s crimes?
“Hello cousin.” Sirius said, smirking, holding his wand up. He had never been afraid of Bellatrix, and she knew it. In their past, they used to be close, closer than close. Sirius had loved her and she had loved him, because they were both called insane by their family. Bella hated him now, he was a blood-traitor and her new enemy.
She grinned, blood staining her blackened teeth. “Hello, traitor!” As she spoke, she started to throw curses at Sirius, not caring for the other two boys he was with.
Sirius was smart, he knew Bellatrix’s full focus was going to be on him, and he liked every second of it. Because he knew how to upset her, how to make her so angry she could explode. Pushing her buttons had always been one of his favourite hobbies.
Whilst he and Bella duelled, Peter and Dedalus fought against Rodolphus and the other Death Eater, who remained masked. Sirius was so caught up in irritating Bella, that he forgot anything else existed. Nothing else mattered, because when he and Bella duelled it was like they entered a separate world. Just the two of them, laughing and screaming simultaneously.
Sirius was very suddenly wrenched out of that other world by a ghastly scream that was nothing like he and Bella’s borderline psychotic laughter. He threw a curse at his cousin, missing completely but that wasn’t the point. The point was that Peter Pettigrew, a boy he had been friends with for nearly eight years, was screaming and clutching his chest. Sirius refused to let him die, not him he begged the heavens to reject this death, leave my friends out of this.
Rodolphus and Bella huddled together, the mystery Death Eater was the one that had injured Peter and all Sirius could see was red.
“You okay Pete?” He asked, crouching down to his level, Peter nodded, still wincing and clutching his heart, “I’ll take you to Lily, she’ll fix you up nicely.” He kissed Peter’s forehead and ruffled his hair, then stood up beside Dedalus Diggle, who looked almost as angry as Sirius. Almost.
“Nobody hurts my friends, you bastard.” Sirius muttered, using the voice that he knew scared people because Reggie used to cower in the corner when he used it on their parents.
Reggie. The thought of him distracted Sirius, so he stopped thinking and started using his wand, hexing and cursing the Death Eater that had dared to threaten Peter’s life. He and Dedalus made quite a good team, coordinated in offence and defence. Sirius felt like he was in a real fight, which he was, and the sick part of him that hid in the bottom of his stomach fucking loved this. It craved violence and surely this was enough to feed its hunger.
But then Peter was screaming again, and Sirius recognised that the scream was as a consequence of his cousin’s cruel magic, because he had screamed like that before too. Bellatrix knew how to inflict pain. It was her master skill.
“You bitch!” Sirius wailed, leaving Dedalus to attack the other Death Eater alone as he faced his cousin and her completely hideous husband. “Expulso!” An explosion almost wiped Rodolphus’ face clean off, it rids him of his smirk and that satisfies Sirius. Bella just laughs and dances around in the explosions Sirius is setting off around her.
Then, she stops, pauses, and is unnaturally silent for about three seconds. “Reducto.” She says, wand pointed at Dedalus Diggle who immediately turns to nothing more than a cloud of dust.
Sirius screams, NO, but just as he charges at his cousin, she apparates and disappears, quickly followed by her husband and the mystery Death Eater.
He turns around, Peter is already picking up the dust and trying to make it become human again. Trying to bring a disintegrated man back to life. It is only now, from this angle, that Sirius sees the bleeding gape in Peter’s shoulder and realises that Bellatrix literally blasted part of Peter’s shoulder off of his body. No wonder he screamed so loud.
“Pete, we have to go.” Sirius said, attempting to drag Peter away from Dedalus’ ashes (?)
“No!” He cried, “We can’t leave him, we can’t return with no body!”
Sirius understood, it was going to kill him when he had to explain that Bellatrix, his own flesh and blood, fucking disintegrated the boy, their partner, their friend. Peter wasn’t going to cooperate; he would have stayed there for the rest of his life- which wouldn’t be a very long life if Sirius didn’t get him to Lily right then. So he apparated away, landing rather uncomfortably in the Potter’s Cottage where Lily resided with James and his parents.
It took Euphemia Potter two hours of consoling a sobbing Sirius Black to even get a word out of him of what happened. Lily was distracted with Peter’s huge open wound, James paced backwards and forwards in the room, nervously peering over at Peter and regretting it each time, because it really was sickening.
“He’s d-dead.” Sirius finally said, “Dedalus, Bellatrix killed him.” He winced, because the room fell silent for a moment. Everyone knew she was his blood, his family, sometimes he worried that nobody really trusted him, his last name was darkness that would consume everything. He didn’t even trust himself most of the time.
“Baby.” Euphemia cooed, grabbing Sirius’ face between her palms, “I love you, we all love you, you are nothing like that wicked witch of a woman.” She grimaced at the thought of Bellatrix. Sirius nodded; Effie was wrong. Bella and Sirius were two sides of the same coin.
--
James stayed by Peter’s side the entire time Lily attempted to heal him. Sirius had said he didn’t want to overwhelm St Mungos so late at night, to which Fleamont, James’ dad, ensured him that they were open at all hours for a reason. It was war, there was always someone who needed help- no matter how depressing that thought was, it was true.
Lily, of course because she’s brilliant, managed to fix up Peter’s shoulder very successfully. Euphemia ended up stress-baking a large batch of cookies with Sirius, who was so unstable that James was preparing himself to hold his sobbing body in a few days after he’d processed it all. But first, he was going to sit beside his very beautiful girlfriend and eat some of his mother’s cookies.
Sirius had gone with Monty to St Mungos because apparently during all the panic of Peter’s shoulder being blown off and Dedalus Diggle’s death, Sirius didn’t notice that the bones in his left arm had been completely shattered- Sirius was very bad at protecting his arms, because this was the second time he'd broken one in two months. He was right handed anyway, James thought, smug that he knows Sirius better than Bellatrix in a way.
Dedalus Diggle’s funeral was only two days after his death, they had no body to retrieve and prepare so it took much less time. His grandmother spoke, which led to everyone in tears, James swore he even saw Moody shed a few tears as the old lady told everyone how much she had loved her grandson.
James felt rather guilty, he had been more worried about his friend’s shoulder than a man who was dead- and according to Sirius, it was a brutal death. He expected nothing less from Bellatrix Lestrange.
“Are you okay, Prongs?” Sirius asked, standing beside him at the wake with a can of beer in one hand and a fag in the other.
James shrugged, “Is anyone?” Sirius chuckled and nodded in agreement. “I mean you’re the one who saw him die.. are you alright?”
Sirius’ whole body tensed up and James knew him well enough to know that he was absolutely not okay. “I’ve seen torture- I mean I have literally been victim to my family’s torture so many times!.. but, this is all so fucked.” He pursed his lips to stop himself from crying, “It isn’t fair, how me and Pete got to come back but he didn’t.”
“No, it isn’t fair, but Sirius you can’t wish you died in his place.”
“Well I do, I do wish it had been me.”
James scoffed, “Think about me, heartache would have killed me if you didn’t come back from that bloody mission.” James knew this was selfish, but it was Sirius, he could not start thinking about dying, never. “I need you.”
“I need you too.” Sirius replied, solidly. James was pretty sure he drilled the point in well enough, because Sirius downed his drink and went over to dance with Lily and Mary, suspiciously close to Matthew McKinnon, but James would inquire about that later.
“Fuck.” James’ jaw quite literally dropped, “You’re so beautiful, Lils.”
She had come out of their bedroom wearing a cute, red mini-dress- very festive and very sexy. Her hair was down and in its natural curly state, which was James’ favourite. James had made it his life goal to make Lily love her natural curls as much as he did- which was a lot.
Lily giggled innocently, “You look very dapper.” She said as she fixed up and straightened James’ tie.
They were going to the Prewett’s house for a Christmas party, since Molly Prewett was now engaged to Arthur Weasley and pregnant with bloody twins!!, Gideon and Fabian had organised the party and invited everyone on her behalf. Molly promised to be there, but she wouldn’t drink because apparently muggle doctors were discovering the bad side effects that drinking whilst pregnant has on a baby.
James, Lily and his parents went together. He felt whole for the first time in months, walking with Lily’s hand in his as he stood beside his parents who were very much in love and who reflected James and Lily’s love quite splendidly. James loved his family, he was so happy Lily had become a part of it.
His parents were very good at ‘adopting’ his friends.
As soon as they walked through the door, Sirius threw himself at Fleamont, hugging him so tightly that James worried for his father’s ability to breathe. Monty just laughed, quite breathlessly, and hugged Sirius back- his second son. James was proud of how far Sirius had come, because just a year ago he spent his whole life apologising every second to Effie and Monty, and now look at him! He was drunk and unapologetically slobbering all over them.
“I tried to get him to wait for you to arrive.” Remus muttered, pretending to be annoyed but anyone who cared enough to look would see the fondness that was always sparkling in his eyes around Sirius. It warmed James’ heart.
Lily laughed, “Get me whatever he’s having!” And that was all it took for Sirius to whisk her away and to the bar that Fabian Prewett was playing ‘bartender’ at.
James found Molly and congratulated her, he hadn’t realised she was so far along until she turned around and her bump almost knocked him over. They had three children already, all boys and all perfectly mischievous: Bill Weasley, who was born a year before James and all his mates even started Hogwarts- that really blew his mind, then there was Charlie, who was five years old and James had only met once, and finally, Percy, he was only a year old and just adorable.
James couldn’t fathom why anyone would want so many babies, he loved children, he really did, but after these two twins came along, Molly and Arthur Weasley would have ci five boys! (everyone knew the twins would be boys, Molly had predicted it herself, to her own dismay).
After a couple of hours of mindlessly mingling and talking to people with his parents, James slid away to find his friends. It took him approximately two minutes to find where they had all hidden, because Sirius and Marlene were so bloody loud that he was pretty sure wizards in Australia would be able to hear their terrible rendition of ‘Bohemian Rapsody’ by QUEEN.
Ok, James had to give it to him.. Sirius was fucking beautiful when he was singing. He understood why so many girls fawned over him, and why Remus was, right then, gawking at him, unable to look away. Sirius was like a magnet, a sexy, leather jacket wearing magnet, with gorgeous hair.
Lily was definitely drunk, because she flopped over into James and started murmuring things like nice arms and I want to bite them. James found it very cute, because he found anything that Lily did cute.
He and Remus were the only ones out of their friends who remained sober throughout the night, and James only steered clear of the booze after seeing the absolute state everybody else was in. He wasn’t sure what Fabian Prewett had been giving them, but bloody hell, everyone was a mess.
Nearing the end of the night, he found himself standing outside the bathroom with Gideon Prewett, waiting for Sirius to finish pissing himself.
“I just..” Gideon made a sound of frustration, “How am I supposed to know if she actually wants me or my dick, y’know?” He sounded genuinely distressed even though the way he had phrased the question made James want to cackle.
“Mate,” James leant forwards and put a supportive hand on the older boy’s shoulder, “Mary likes you, like a lot..” He said, shrugging whilst Gideon was panicking, “She talks to us about you, and she always wants to go and see you- just the other day she wanted to ask you on a date but chickened out because she convinced herself that you’d say no!” James realised he was getting louder and he was throwing his arms up in the air a lot, but he was very passionate about Mary’s dating life. She deserved a nice boyfriend for once, and Gideon was just about as nice as boys got.
“I would never say no to her..” He mumbled, it was sort of cringy and cliché but James was not in the position to judge any pining men, not after his catastrophically bad crush on Lily in Hogwarts.
“You need to tell her that, not me.” James smiled and watched as Gideon’s eyes lit up, he thanked James quickly and scurried off to find Mary.
James was happy for them, he really was.
Christmas was unexpectedly fun, it seemed that Death Eaters actually quite enjoyed their festivities too because they didn’t attack anywhere on Christmas Eve, Day or Boxing Day. James spent each of those un-booked nights with Lily in their bedroom, using a silencing spell because even though he was sure his parents couldn’t hear, Lily made some ridiculously sexy sounds, he didn’t want to risk impurifying his mother’s ears with such unholy noises.